Perfect Strangers Episode Guide

EPISODE 07 - Hello, Baby

First Air Date: September 17, 1986
Nielsen Rating: 17.3 HH

TV Guide Description: In the second-season opener, a pregnant woman from Balki's citizenship class needs a place to stay, so Balki offers her Larry's apartment, or more specifically, Larry's bedroom.

Co-Producer: James OíKeefe
Created by: Dale McRaven
Written by: Paula A. Roth
Directed by: Joel Zwick

Cast:
Bronson Pinchot: Balki Bartokomous
Mark Linn-Baker: Larry Appleton

Guest Cast:
Candi Milo: Gina Morelli

Dimitri Appearances: Dimitri has one of his most notable appearances in this episode when Balki has him in bed with Larry and Larry must apologize to the stuffed sheep for dropping him on the floor.  Dimitri is visible through much of the episode on the table behind the sofabed when not in the bed itself.

Balki-isms:
"Beats the socks off of me!"
"Was this before or after Ike met Tina Turner?"
"You donít have to ask me once!"
"Letís paint the town red, white and blue!"

Donít be ridiculous: Said once in this episode.

Other catchphrases used in this episode:
"Why donít you help me?"
Balki's "Huh?"

Other running jokes used in this episode:
Larry directing Balki to move something by "swinging it in."
Larry having a plan
Larry asking Balki if he has something (in this case a plan of his own) and Balki saying he does only to follow up with "I donít know"
Balki pouting until he gets something he wants from Larry
Balki quoting a Myposian saying in the original language then commenting on it without Larry understanding before translating it into English

Interesting facts:
-
The second season saw the series make a huge move from Tuesday nights at 8:30 to become the 8:00 anchor show for Wednesday nights, leading ABCís programming for that night.  Perfect Strangers would change nights and times repeatedly during its run on ABC, which used the show often to kick off fledgling sitcoms or jumpstart a new night.
- This episode marks the first time that we see Balki in his Spiderman pajamas. In the end credits there is a credit given for the use of the likeness of Spiderman.  Undoubtedly a licensing fee had to be paid for use of the comic book character's name.
- In the last episode of the first season Larry was having trouble with his life's "master plan."  Larry's need to have a "plan" in day to day life is well established in this episode, beginning with this plan to move to the refrigerator and culminating in his plan for getting to the hospital on time.  These would be only the first of many many plans to come.
- The plot of having a man worrying about the getting an expectant mother to the hospital on time is a tried and true comedic tradition, although the role of the worrying male usually falls to the father of the child, as in classic episodes of The Dick Van Dyke Show and I Love Lucy.
- We learn in this episode that Mypos has only one hospital.
- During the exterior shots of Larryís Mustang racing through the streets of Chicago we see his back left tire loses a hubcap on a sharp turn.  This is the first time weíve seen Larryís car on the show apart from the opening credit segments.
- The character Gina Morelli would return this season with her baby son, Frankie, in the episode
Two Men and a Cradle.  Actress Candi Milo, who played Gina in both episodes, appeared in a successful series of commercials for Mervyn's department store in which she stood outside the glass doors, tapping on them while saying "Open! Open! Open!"  The catchphrase for the store is still used to this day.  She is currently a successful voice actress, having performed for many animated series such as Dexterís Laboratory (as Dexter), Mucha Lucha! (the Flea), and the PBS series Maya & Miguel (as Maya).  You can visit her official site by clicking here.

Bloopers & Inconsistencies:
-
Larry says he is going to stay awake all night and the lights are on, but when Gina later comes out of the bedroom she has to turn the lights on.  If Larry fell asleep when he intended to stay awake, who turned off the lights?


Synopsis:
The show opens with Larry directing Balki as he rolls a refrigerator in through the front door of the Ritz Discount on a handcart.  "Slowly," Larry says, "All right, coming up to the step.  Just take it slow."  Balki slowly inches the refrigerator forward toward the step down into the store.  "You're getting closer," Larry reports, "You're a little closer.  You're close.  You're very, very close."  The handcart drops down hard off the step and the refrigerator falls upright with a loud thump.  "You're down the step," Larry finishes, walking to one side.  "You don't say," Balki says sarcastically.  "Okay, we'll bring it straight down here and we'll just swing it in," Larry directs, standing in the spot where the refrigerator will go and motioning with his arms, "Straight down here, we'll swing it right on in here.  Come straight down and we'll swing it in."  "Cousin, why I make all the push and are just, stand there, just say 'Just take that baby and swing it on in?'"  Balki mimics Larry's motions as Larry walks over to him.  "Balki, somebody has to be in charge.  Somebody has to have a plan.  That's me.  Somebody else has to carry out the plan.  That's you."  "I get it," Balki replies, "as long as itís equal."  "All right," Larry says, walking back to the same spot, "Straight down here and we'll swing it in."

Balki wheels the refrigerator to the spot.  "Go easy, go easy," Larry urges, "Take your time.  Good.  Good.  Ho!  Okay, swing it around.  Come towards me.  Towards me, slow.  Slow.  That's good.  Hup, okay."  Balki sets the refrigerator down straight in front of Larry, who is backed into the space he's indicating.  Balki pushes the cart forward, pinning Larry into the spot tightly.  Larry grunts in pain.  Balki doesn't notice because a pregnant woman carrying a suitcase has entered the store and urgently calls, "Balki!"  "Gina," Balki responds.  "Balki, please, you have to help me," Gina says.  "Of course I help you," Balki says with concern.  "What about me?" Larry gasps.  "You're right, I'm being rude," Balki says, "Gina, this my Cousin Larry.  And Cousin Larry, this Gina Morelli from my citizenship class.  She's from Italy."  Larry smiles, despite being pinned behind the refrigerator.  "She's Italian," Balki explains further.  "Oh," Larry replies.  "This my Cousin Larry," Balki repeats, before hurrying away to get a chair.  "Hello," Gina smiles at Larry.  "I would shake your hand but Iím being crushed by a refrigerator," Larry explains.  "Oh," Gina says, and she grabs the handcart and pulls the refrigerator away from Larry, freeing him.  "Thank you," Larry exhales.  Balki pulls up a loveseat sofa for Gina to sit on as Larry steps out from behind the appliance.  "You're very strong for your condition," Larry laughs.  Gina bursts into tears.  "Was it something I said?" Larry asks worriedly.

"Oh, my husband's a truck driver and he's in Texas now," Gina explains, "While he's gone I get evicted from my apartment.  I have no money and I can't get a hold of him.  Balki is my only friend in this country so I came here."  "Well, you did the right thing, Gina," Balki assures her, "We'll take care of you.  Won't we, Cousin?"  "Of course we will," Larry agrees, then asks, "What did you have in mind?"  "She stay in the apartment until her husband gets back," Balki says, as if this answer were obvious.  Gina looks hopefully to Larry.  "Oh . . . oh," Larry hesitates, "Oh, oh, uh . . . I don't know.  Well, where would she sleep?"  Gina looks to Balki.  "I give her the couch," Balki answers.  "Well, that's no good," Larry points out, "She'd have no privacy.  She has to have her own room."  Balki kneels down next to Gina and tells her, "Cousin says that you have to have his bedroom!"  "Wh . . . wh . . . huh?" Larry asks, as if he didn't hear right.  "Didn't I tell you he was a prince?" Balki asks her.  "Oh, you are more than that," Gina says, taking Larry's hand in hers, "You are a saint."  She kisses his hand.  "You're going to love it at our house," Balki promises, leading Gina to the front door of the store, "He has a blanket that plugs into the wall."  "You're kidding me!" Gina exclaims, "What's that for?"  "Beats the socks off of me," Balki confesses.  They exit the store together.

Later that night, Gina is tucked into Larryís bed as Balki says goodnight to her and closes the door.  "Goodnight," Balki says in a cutesy voice.  "Grazie," Gina says in a similar voice.  "Bueno," Balki replies.  Larry is preparing the sofa bed and mimicking their cuteness with obvious irritation.  Balki walks to Larry.  Both are wearing bathrobes.  "Cousin, you don't mind I put the television in the bedroom of Gina?"  "She has my room, why shouldn't she have my TV?" Larry asks, not hiding his anger, "I'd put her in my will but she already has everything I own."  "Cousin, if you don't want Gina here why you didn't say so?" Balki asks.  "It's a little inconvenient but I'll get used to it," Larry concedes, "I'm glad we can help out.  Let's hit the sack."  Larry and Balki take off their robes.  Larry is wearing sensible green pajamas.  Balki is wearing an adult size pair of Spiderman pajamas.  Larry sees them and reacts.  "What are those?"  "These my Spiderman pajamas," Balki explains.  "Let me rephrase that," Larry tries again, "Why are you wearing those?"  "Because my He-Man pajamas are in the laundry," Balki answers.  "I had to ask," Larry shrugs.

They walk over to the sofa bed and Larry goes to lay down, not realizing Balki is already laying down on that side, so Larry lays on top of Balki and then gets up.  "Do you usually sleep on that side?" Larry asks.  "Yes," Balki answers.  "Well, why don't I go on that side."  "No, I go over there," Balki argues.  "No, no, I will go there," Larry insists.  Balki continues to argue until Larry says, "Balki, I don't mind sleeping on that side of the bed.  I mind arguing about sleeping on that side of the bed."  Balki lays down under the covers on the closest side while Larry walks around to the other side and climbs into bed.  When Larry goes to pull the covers over him he accidentally grabs Balki's arm as well and then throws it back down.  Balki looks exceptionally happy.  "You know, I really admire you," Balki offers.  "Why is that?" Larry asks.  "Well, because first you're willing to give up your bedroom to a woman I hardly know . . . " Balki begins.  Larry looks shocked.  " . . . and then for me, your friend, youíre willing to sleep on the hot side of the bed."  Larry lays back, then thinks about this and sits up.  "What do you mean 'the hot side of the bed?'" Larry asks.  Balki sits up and motions to the fourth wall.  "Well, about six o'clock in the morning . . . see that little hole in the drapes?  The sun come through that and it bores a hole right through your head like a laser beam."  Balki lays back down, happily.  "Okay, other side.  Move!" Larry says, getting up out of bed and walking around to the other side.

Balki moves over into Larry's space and reaches up to grab his stuffed sheep while Larry gets back into bed.  "Good night," Balki offers.  "Good night," Larry replies, laying down.  Balki has placed the sheep on the pillow next to him so when Larry lays down and turns his head the sheep's bottom is in his face.  "What's in my face?" Larry asks.  Balki holds up the sheep for Larry to see and answers, "Dimitri.  He always sleeps with me."  He makes Dimitri bounce toward Larry, saying, "Ding dang dang."  Larry grabs Dimitri and holds him up over the side of the bed.  "Not tonight," Larry states, dropping Dimitri callously onto the floor.  Balki looks distraught.  "I say my prayers now," Balki announces, and crawls out of bed to lean down beside it and clasp his hands together in prayer, "God?  Bless Cousin Larry and Gina and the new baby and please watch over Dimitri who's sleeping on the floor for the first time in his whole young life."  Balki jumps back into bed and pulls the covers up over his head.  "Oooh," Larry moans, reaching down and picking Dimitri up off the floor.

Larry pulls the covers off Balki, who is cringing with sorrow.  "Balki . . . I'm sorry," Larry offers, placing Dimitri next to Balki.  "I'm not the one you threw on the floor," Balki points out, turning away.  Larry takes Dimitri and holds him, begrudgingly looking into his button eyes.  "I'm sorry, Dimitri," Larry says seriously, "Please forgive me."  Larry sets Dimitri next to Balki again.  "Well, I just wanted to thank you for what you're doing for Gina," Balki offers sincerely.  "Well, I guess you have to do whatever you can for someone who's carrying a new life," Larry states.  "A new, overdue life," Balki corrects.  "Hmm?" Larry asks.  "The baby was two weeks ago late," Balki explains.  "Hmm," Larry hums.  "Good night," Balki says.  "Good night," Larry replies.  Larry reaches over and turns off the lamp, then lays back for a moment before realizing what Balki has said.  He sits up in shock and looks panicked.

Act two opens later that evening.  Gina is sleeping on the chair in the living room while Larry, who is holding a stopwatch, impatiently waits for Balki to come out of the bathroom.  Larry finally walks to the bathroom door and knocks, shouting, "All right!  Rest period is over!"  Balki walks out of the bathroom and they both walk back into the living room.  "All right, now let's go through this plan one more time," Larry insists.  "Do we have to?" Balki asks.  "Yes, we have to," Larry answers, "We have to be prepared if the baby comes.  I am very unhappy with the time it's taking us to get from the bed out the door."  Balki approaches Gina and sees she is sleeping.  "Cousin," Balki whispers as Larry approaches, "It's one o'clock the morning.  Already we do ten times this.  Let Gina sleep."  "Okay, okay, all right," Larry agrees, "We'll probably make better time without her anyway."  They kneel down next to her.  "Gina, Gina, wake up," Larry says, shaking her arm gently, "You can go to sleep now."  "You're a saint," Gina offers less than enthusiastically.  She struggles to stand up and Balki helps her, taking her from behind and moving her as Larry directs, as he did with the refrigerator.  "Yeah, that's good.  Get her up.  Get her up.  Yeah.  Swing her around.  Swing her around.  Straight on back . . . straight on back there."

"Okay," Larry thinks aloud, looking around to find their coats, which he places on the rack on the closet door in order, "Yes . . . Gina . . . Balki . . . and me."  Balki returns from putting Gina to bed and yawns.  "Cousin, can you do without me, too?  I know my part."  "You're not bugging out on me now," Larry insists, moving to the front door to tape a map to it as Balki carries a suitcase to the closet.  "This is all your fault, you know," Larry continues, "Why didn't you tell me she was pregnant?"  "What did you think it was?  A bee sting?" Balki asks.  "You are wasting valuable rehearsal time," Larry scolds.  "Cousin, what the big deal is?" Balki ask, sitting in the chair, "In my country every time a woman has a baby she doesn't run to the hospital.  If every woman did that we'd have to have two hospitals.  In Mypos, have a baby is very natural.  The woman is working in the field, she takes a short break, she has her baby and then she cooks dinner for eleven men."  "Look, this is America, we make things a lot more complicated," Larry argues, "When a woman has a baby she has to go to the hospital.  That is a rule.  And to get to the hospital you have to have a plan.  Now do you have a plan?"  "Well, of course I do, don't be ridiculous," Balki says.  "And what is it?" Larry asks.  "I don't know," Balki admits.

"Fine.  Then we'll go with mine," Larry insists, "Now, let's take it from the top one last time."  Larry lays down on the sofa bed.  Balki leaps into the bed.  "All right, we're in bed," Larry says, "We're sleeping."  "Sleep, sleep, sleep," Balki says.  "Gina comes out of the bedroom," Larry continues.  "Waddle, waddle, waddle," Balki says, moving like a pregnant woman walking.  "She says 'It's time.'  Now, what do we do?"  "I get the suitcase out of the closet and you call the hospital," Balki answers.  "All right, ready?" Larry asks, raising the stopwatch, pressing the button to start it and yelling, "GO!"  "Wait," Balki says.  Larry doesn't jump up off the bed and stops the watch.  "What?" he asks impatiently.  "Why do I always have to get the suitcase out of the closet?" Balki asks.  "Because I am the better communicator, so I call the hospital.  You are much better at at at at at at lifting, so you get the suitcase," Larry points out.  "How do you know I'm not the better communicator?" Balki asks.  "Have you ever listened to yourself?" Larry asks.  Balki thinks about this and admits, "Not while I'm talking."  "Well, there you go," Larry says.  Balki starts to pout, whining, "But . . . I want to make the phone call."  "Okay, fine," Larry gives in, "You call the hospital.  Now can we get on with this?"  Balki nods.

"Ready?" Larry asks, again clicking the stopwatch to begin, "GO!"  "Wait," Balki stops him again.  Larry stops the watch, furious this time.  "What?"  "I don't know the phone number," Balki says.  "It's on the list of emergency numbers next to the phone," Larry explains.  Balki starts to get up to look but Larry holds him back, saying, "Take my word for it, it's there.  Now, can we do this before the kid graduates from college?"  Larry prepares to begin again.  "Ready?"  He clicks the stopwatch and shouts, "GO!"  Instead of getting out of his own side of the bed, Balki climbs over Larry to get out, slowing Larry down.  Balki runs to the phone as Larry runs to the closet.  Balki pretends to dial the phone, making the touchtone noises as he does so.  "Hello, hospital?" Balki says into the receiver, "Baby's coming!"  He hangs up and meets Larry by the front door.  "I did it!" Balki says proudly.  "Brilliant," Larry says sarcastically, "Now, you get the jackets, I get the map and we are out."

Larry stops the stopwatch and looks at the time.  "I was right!  We're much faster without Gina."  "Good night," Balki says, heading back to bed.  "All right," Larry says, closing the front door, "You get some sleep."  "What about you?" Balki asks.  "I won't be sleeping tonight," Larry states as he places the suitcase back into the closet, "Someone has got to be awake . . . alert . . . prepared.  I guess I'll have to bear that burden alone."  "I guess so," Balki agrees.  "This must have been how Eisenhower felt just before D-Day," Larry states seriously, sitting on the bed, "All around him the troops sleeping . . . not Ike.  He knew that one single mistake could change the course of world history."  "Was this before or after Ike met Tina Turner?" Balki asks.  "Before," Larry answers dryly.

Still later that night, we see Larry has fallen asleep holding Dimitri next to Balki on the sofa bed.  Gina exits Larry's bedroom, holding her back, and turns on the lights.  She waddles to Balki's side of the sofa bed, trying to wake him.  "Balki, wake up," she says, "Balki, it's time!"  Balki awakens and asks, "Gina?" then realizes what is happening, "It's time?"  "Yes," Gina answers.  "Ah Gina!" Balki says happily, climbing out of bed, "How exciting!  A little baby!"  Larry sleepily starts to wake up, asking, "Why is the light on?"  "The baby's coming, Larry," Gina reports.  "What baby?" Larry asks groggily, "Who are you?  Why am I holding a sheep?"  "He doesn't wake up well," Balki explains to Gina, then he leans over to Larry and says, "Cousin, it's Gina.  Remember the plan?"  This snaps Larry awake instantly.  "The plan?  Yes, of course I remember the plan.  It's my plan.  All right, no need to worry.  First babies take a long time."  "Oh well, Larry, I've been in labor a long time," Gina explains.  "Why didn't you tell us?" Larry asks.  "Well, I didn't want to bother you," Gina says, "You were up so late."  She winces in pain.

Larry jumps up out of the bed.  "All right!  Don't panic!"  Larry realizes he still has the stopwatch in his hand and clicks it to start.  "GO!" he shouts.  He proceeds to run straight into the end table, knocking everything in all directions and fumbling with the lamp.  Balki has already walked to the phone and picked up the receiver, dialing.  "Are you all right?" Balki asks as Larry approaches.  "Yes, yes I'm okay," Larry insists, "What are you doing?"  "Calling the hospital," Balki answers.  "Calling the hospital is my job," Larry says, yanking the receiver from Balki's hands, "You get the suitcase!"  "But I called the hospital last time," Balki points out.  "Look, I gave you a chance to prove you were a good communicator and what did you say?  'Hello, hospital.  Baby is coming!"  Cavemen are more articulate!"  Larry motions Balki toward the closet.  "Could you please hurry?" Gina asks, then she leans against the phone stand and cries out in pain.  "Hello, hospital?" Larry says into the receiver, "The baby is coming!"  Larry hangs up, looking befuddled.  "Brilliant!" Balki smiles.  "I forgot to tell them who we were," Larry realizes, starting to dial again.  "Oh, Larry, Larry, there's no time," Gina says, "We get to the hospital, they probably figure out why I'm there."  "Good thinking," Larry agrees.

Gina heads out the door as Balki throws Larry the jackets and Larry throws them at Gina.  "Okay.  All right, no need to panic," Larry says, "Everything is under control.  All right . . . "  Balki walks out the door with the suitcase.  "I get the map, and we are gone . . . " Larry says, ripping the map off the door, then stopping at the doorway to stop the stopwatch.  "Yes!" Larry shouts in triumph after eyeing the time.  He sets the stopwatch on the phone stand and hurries out the door, closing it behind him.  After a moment Larry rushes back into the apartment frantically.  "My keys . . . my keys . . . where are my keys?"  "They're in your pants," Balki says calmly, getting into the closet.  "Where are my pants?  Where are my pants?" Larry cries desperately.  "They're in the closet," Balki explains.  "Where is the closet?  Where's the closet?" Larry yells, running around in confusion.  "Cousin," Balki says.  "Look, look, we can't get to the hospital without my keys," Larry cries.

"Cousin . . . " Balki tries to calm him.  "Don't 'Cousin' me now," Larry says, and he starts throwing things around, "Look, look, I don't have my keys, I don't have my pants, I can't do this!  She will just have to have the baby at some other time.  Why don't you help me??"  Balki calmly holds up Larry's keys.  "Oh . . . oh, I see," Larry huffs, "You're trying to make me look bad in front of Gina."  He motions to the front door but Gina is nowhere in sight.  "Where is Gina?  Where is the mother?  We can't do this without the mother!" Larry cries, getting frantic again.  "Cousin, someday you forgive me for this," Balki says, and he slaps Larry across the face.  Larry is stunned.  "Feel better?" Balki asks.  "No," Larry says.  "Can we go have a baby now?" Balki asks.  "Okay," Larry nods, "I'll follow you."  Balki heads for the door.  "Where are you going?" Larry asks.  "To the hospital," Balki explains.  "Right, yes," Larry says, stepping into the hallway and exclaiming, "Gina!  There you are!  Thank God!"  Balki closes the door behind them.

We see Larry's Mustang tearing through the empty late-night Chicago streets.  Balki's voice over says, "Gina, lay down here and try to relax."  The Mustang loses a hubcap while taking a sharp right turn.  Inside the car, Larry is driving and Balki is in the backseat with Gina, holding her hand, while she is laying down on the back seat, out of sight.  "Keep breathing . . . keep breathing," Balki urges, "You're doing good."  Larry, who has been breathing along with Balki's coaching, says, "I can't keep this up.  I think I'm hyperventilating."  "Cousin, I was talking to Gina," Balki explains.  Larry makes a sharp right turn and barely avoids hitting a car, then leans out the window and calls after them, "What's the matter, buddy?  Late for your accident?"  Larry pulls his head back in the car and complains, "Geez . . . did you see that guy?  How did somebody like that get to be a cop?"  "How much farther . . . to the hospital, Larry?" Gina cries in a pained voice.  "Look, I am doing the best I can," Larry insists, "I've got my hands full up here, every nutcase in town is on the road tonight, the heater doesn't work and my map reader is back there with you!"  "I'm sorry!" Gina cries.  "Well . . . " Larry begins, then slaps a hand over his mouth to prevent saying anything more.

"Do you think you could go a little faster?" Balki asks, "I think the baby almost here."  "I am going as fast as I can," Larry says.  "Well, you could go a little faster," Balki points out, "You just stick your foot down on the pedal and push . . . "  "I haven't forgotten how to drive," Larry insists.  "Well, you did when you first got in the car," Balki reminds him.  Gina lets out a loud, "Ohhh!!!"  "All right, all right, I'm going faster," Larry assures her, "Are you happy now?"  Balki swings his head around to look at something they've passed.  "Wasn't that the turnoff to the hospital?"  "Go fast . . . read signs . . . what do you people want from me?" Larry asks.  "Watch out for that bump!" Balki warns.  "I see it," Larry insists.  The car hits a bump and jerks wildly up and down, causing Larry to hit his head on the ceiling.  "Oohh!!!" Gina cries.  "Oh!  Well, that certainly speeded things up!" Balki notes, "Cousin, I think I'm going to have to deliver this baby myself."  Larry shakes his head in earnest.  "No, no, you can't do that!"  "Well, do you want to do it?" Balki asks.

"Somebody better do it!" Gina cries, then she reaches up and grabs a handful of hair on Larry's head, pulling it backward so that Larry's looking up at the ceiling.  "Oh!  Ow!  All right!" Larry cries, "I can't see!  We're all going to die!"  "Gina, let go of Cousin Larry's head," Balki says gently.  Gina lets go and Larry regains control of the car.  "Cousin, Cousin stop . . . stop now.  Gina having her baby now," Balki insists.  Larry hits the brakes and the car stops.  "Oh my gosh," Larry gasps.  "Oh Dios mio!" Gina cries.  "What is she saying?" Larry asks, "What's she saying?  What is she saying?  Will somebody back there talk to me?"  There is suddenly the sound of a baby crying.  "Who was that?" Larry asks.  Balki holds the newborn, smiling as he says, "Hello, baby.  Welcome to America!"  Larry finally summons up the courage to look, then turns back.  "Oh my God," he gasps, and faints, his head hitting the horn.  We see the Mustang is stopped in the middle of an intersection, it's horn still blaring.

It is early morning when Balki and Larry return to the apartment.  Larry still looks stunned and starts to wander off.  Balki grabs the back of Larry's jacket and keeps him from moving away.  "Well, little boy, we've had a big day," Balki says as he leads Larry to a chair and guides him to sit down, "We witnessed the miracle of birth."  "You witnessed the miracle of birth," Larry corrects him, "I took one look and passed out.  Of course the good news is that while I was unconscious I couldn't behave like a lunatic."  Balki checks Larry's temperature by pressing the back of his hand to Larry's forehead, then goes to the kitchen.  "It was all there," Larry sighs, "Ike would have been proud.  The perfect plan to get Gina to the hospital, and what happened?"  Balki returns with a cold compress and starts dabbing at Larry's forehead.  "Well, you couldn't find your key, and then you couldn't find the hospital, and then you didn't know how to drive," Balki answers.  "I know what happened," Larry insists, "I panicked.  I always panic."  "Well, Cousin, you know . . . "  Balki holds the cold cloth up to Larry's nose and instructs, "Blow."  Larry just gives Balki a look.  Balki wipes Larry's nose anyway.

"You know you had a real good plan," Balki continues.  "Don't patronize me," Larry sighs, "When somebody really needed me to do something really important I was worthless . . . I am worthless."  Larry gets up and walks away.  "Well, if you say so," Balki sighs, sitting down on the chair, "Did I tell you that I'm going to help Gina find an apartment?  I think we're going to look on Delaney Street."  Balki laughs at this, as he sets up something for Larry.  "On Delaney Street?" Larry asks, coming back, "Delaney Street is all wrong."  "It is?" Balki asks.  "Absolutely wrong," Larry says, "Gina needs to be in a neighborhood with good public transportation."  "I never thought of that," Balki says.  "She has to be within walking distance of a supermarket."  "I never thought of that, either."  Larry picks up a pencil and notepad.  "And what about a daycare center?  This takes a lot of planning.  I'd better go with you."  "Well, that's a wonderful idea!" Balki agrees, "Gina is very lucky to have a worthless person like you to help her."  "I see what you're doing," Larry nods, "You're trying to give me a false sense of self worth."

"Dirty trick, huh?" Balki asks.  "Yeah," Larry confirms, "and I appreciate it."  "Cousin," Balki smiles, getting up out of the chair and approaching Larry, "You know, in Mypos we have a saying.  'Hok po dimi baba naki, tyna dinki de ring dang dang.'  Hits home, doesn't it?  It says, 'If everyone knew how to herd sheep there would be no one to write poetry.'  Do you know what that means?"  "It means we canít all be good at everything and thatís okay," Larry answers.  "So thatís what it means!" Balki exclaims.  Larry throws down the pad and asks, "Whaddya say you and I go out and celebrate this baby's birthday?"  "Well, you don't have to ask me once!" Balki agrees, as they both head out the door, "Let's go out and paint the town red, white and blue!"  They close the door behind them.  A moment later they walk back in.  "But first, let's put on our pants," Balki suggests.  "Good plan," Larry agrees, "Good plan."  They get their pants from the closet.

Continue on to the next episode . . .