Perfect Strangers Episode Guide

EPISODE 10 - Life Savers

First Air Date: October 22, 1986
Nielsen Rating: 16.2 HH

Co-Producer: James O’Keefe
Created by: Dale McRaven
Written by: Jim Parker
Directed by: Joel Zwick

Bronson Pinchot: Balki Bartokomous
Mark Linn-Baker: Larry Appleton
Ernie Sabella: Mr. Twinkacetti
Lise Cutter: Susan Campbell

Guest Cast:
Rafael Mauro: Burglar

Dimitri Appearances: Dimitri is first seen sitting on the chair in the apartment (Balki almost sits on him when Larry is startled awake) and is later seen in bed with Balki with a little brown paper bag over his head.

" . . . and all of a sudden there was a runaway taxi about to runaway over me . . . "
"You’re a big one!" (after Larry concedes he may be a small hero)
"And that makes me happier than a tick on a sheepdog!"
"All right, buster, reach for the friendly skies!"
"Down yours, up yours!"

Don’t be ridiculous: Said twice.

Other catchphrases used in this episode:
"Don’t you ever . . . EVER . . . do that again!"
Balki's "Huh?"
"Don’t you give me that face!"

Other running jokes used in this episode:
Balki has to follow a Myposian custom of shame, in this case hiding his face in a bag.

Songs: "Material Girl" sung as "Material Boy" by Balki as he sweeps up in the Ritz Discount store, then "Nobody Knows the Trouble I’ve Seen" (aka "The Sorrow Song") as Balki continues to sweep with a bag over his head.

Interesting facts:
- This episode includes an appearance from Susan and may have been filmed early in the season.  Even more surprising is the fact that Susan kisses Larry on the cheek before she leaves the apartment!  This is the first indication that perhaps originally it may have been intended for Larry and Susan to end up as a couple.
- Susan mentions that she didn’t know Balki could cook so well.  Balki’s cooking would become a regular theme of the series, although at this point no specific Myposian dishes have been named (apart from the Sheep Wellington mentioned in this episode).
- When Larry turns on the television he is watching a Western from the sound of the programming (gunshots and Indian war calls).
- When Balki puts the bag over his head in the store it is a canvas shopping bag marked "Chinatown, Los Angeles, Calif." (an interesting item to be selling in a Chicago discount store!)
- $50 seems to be Twinkacetti’s favorite number . . . he bet Larry that much that Balki wouldn’t be able to get his driver’s license, it cost that much to hire Duke Lyle to play baseball on the Ritz Discount Royals team and it costs $50 to hire Twinkacetti’s actor friend (although Twinkacetti ends up pocketing the money himself).
- Rafael Mauro (aka Raf Mauro) who plays the burglar in this episode has since appeared in episodes of Night Court, Seinfeld and most recently Desperate Housewives.  He’s also written several books of monologues for young people focusing on self-esteem and achievement.

Bloopers and Inconsistencies:
Once again the apartment door has the letter E on it instead of a number.
- In this episode, Susan gives Larry a kiss on the cheek before leaving.  This seems odd, since Larry had already met Jennifer earlier this season.  Chances are this episode was filmed before Hunks Like Us, but it does make us wonder if Susan was eventually supposed to be a love interest for Larry.
- When Larry falls asleep on the couch the television set is off and there’s a photo book on the back of the couch.  Apparently Larry switched from watching TV to reading again at some point.
- There’s an odd edit which may have been a lost joke when Balki is arranging the shirts on the display table while wearing a bag on his head.  In a close up shot we see him feeling the last space on the table before setting the shirts down in that place.  But when it cuts to a long shot the audience is laughing at something and Balki is one space down, apparently having just dropped some shirts onto the floor.  We never see the shirts fall on the floor but when Larry steps over moments later he reaches down and picks them up and puts them on the table.
- After Balki says the line "Don't be ridiculous, he's got a gun," the scene cuts to a long shot which shows the burglar coming up behind Larry with the gun.  Look closely at Balki's mouth in this long shot, though, because he's mouthing "Don't be ridiculous" just as he just did in the previous two-shot.  This is, in fact, a long shot of that same take with the sound removed and the audience reaction deftly dubbed over. 
- Larry begs the burglar to spare his life because he’s never been skiing.  But in the upcoming episode Snow Way to Treat a Lady Larry tells Balki that his family used to go skiing every winter and that he was usually used as a ski jump by his brothers and sisters.
- Balki holds the burglar at bay with the man's gun and tells Cousin Larry to call the police.  As Larry runs to the window, Balki switches the gun from his left to his right hand.  As Larry yells out the window we cut to the burglar and Balki's reaction, only now the gun is back in Balki's left hand!
- In the final scene after the cousins come in the door, Larry takes off his jacket and hangs it on the closet door.  Watch closely as he does this . . . he turns ever so slightly and you can just see the edge of the ink hand prints on the back of his shirt which Balki will "leave" when he hugs him moments later!

The episode begins at the Ritz Discount Store where Mr. Twinkacetti is standing behind the counter sorting through some mail.  "Christmas Seals," he reads on one envelope, which he throws away, "Huh, give me a break!"  He looks at the next envelope.  "Mother Theresa . . . ho ho, you're out of luck."  He throws that one away as well.  He then picks up a magazine and reads, "Motorcycle Maidens.  Think I'll save this for my private moments."  Balki runs in the door and passes behind Mr. Twinkacetti, who looks at his watch.  Larry enters the store as well.  "Balki, it was no big deal," Larry insists.  "It had better be.  You're forty seconds late," Mr. Twinkacetti points out.  "Cousin Larry just did a great thing," Balki tells Mr. Twinkacetti.  "Ooh, what'd he do?  Tear up your green card?"  Balki reaches over to take Larry by the shoulders and announce, "This man, Larry Appleton, just saved my life!"  "Why?" Mr. Twinkacetti asks.

"Balki, it was nothing," Larry says.  "I'll be the judge of that," Balki states, "We were walking across the street and all of a sudden there was a runaway taxi about to runaway over me and this man pushed me out of the way."  "It was a reflex," Larry explains.  "You risked your life to save another," Balki points out, then turns to Twinkacetti and adds, "In Mypos he would be considered a very great man."  "This is America," Mr. Twinkacetti counters, "Here he's still considered a jerk."  He walks to his office.  "Don't listen him," Balki tells Larry, "You're a hero."  "Well, for what?" Larry asks, "For running out into the street and throwing my body between you and certain death?"  Larry thinks about this.  "Well, maybe a small hero," he admits.  "No, Cousin, take it from me . . . you're a big one," Balki insists, "In Mypos, if somebody did what you just did is no longer regular person.  He is lift up to . . . Primodopolos."  "Primo-what?" Larry asks.  "Primodopolos," Balki repeats.  Larry takes this in then smiles dismissively, saying, "Oh."  He continues to remove the dust clothes from the store's displays.

"And . . . I am but a lowly sheepherder," Balki says.  He drops to his knees and then leans back all the way until his head is on the floor.  "Balki, what are you doing?" Larry asks.  "I'm basking in your glory," Balki explains.  Mr. Twinkacetti walks back out of his office, still looking at his magazine.  He stops at the counter and stares at Balki, then motions to Larry to explain what's going on.  "He's basking in my, uh . . . glory," Larry explains.  "Get up or get out!" Mr. Twinkacetti orders, then heads for the door and leaves.  Larry runs to Balki and grabs him by the arms, trying to pull him up.  "Balki!  Balki!  Get up!"  "No!" Balki protests.  "Up!"  "No!"  "Up!"  "No!  I must bask in your glory.  It's a custom of my people."  "And it's a custom of my people to earn a living," Larry argues, "And my custom is bigger than your custom.  Now, get up!"  Larry pulls Balki up to his feet.  "Okay," Balki sighs.  "Okay," Larry says.  "But inside I'm still basking like crazy," Balki says.

Later that night in the apartment, Larry is standing with Susan at the front door.  "That was a great meal!" Susan says, "I didn't know Balki could cook like that!"  "Well, it was a little embarrassing," Larry sighs, "I usually like to feed myself."  "You did save his life," Susan points out, "He's just trying to say thank you."  "Well, don't get me wrong," Larry says, "I mean it's fun having somebody wait on you hand and foot.  It's just that in Mypos they have rules."  "What kind of rules?" Susan asks.  "Well, rules like Balki's head must never be higher than the Primodopolos.  Every time I turn around there he is right below my face."  "Well, it is his culture," Susan notes.  "I guess I can put up with it for a couple of days," Larry smiles.  Susan kisses Larry on the cheek and says, "See you later, hero," before exiting, closing the door behind her.  "She's right," Larry says to himself, "I did save his life.  If he wants to serve me, who am I to complain?  Who am I to stand in the way of his culture?  Who am I talking to?"

Larry picks up a book and sits on the couch to read.  The door to Larry's bedroom opens and Balki enters the room, walking low in a crouched position.  He is carrying a folded robe and slippers and brings them in front of the couch to Larry.  "Did you want something?" Larry asks.  "I bring your robe and slippers," Balki says, "I ironed them."  "You ironed my slippers?" Larry asks.  "Tough to get a crease," Balki admits, looking at a flattened slipper, "But anything for a Primodopolos.  Anything else I can do for you?"  "No, I'd just like to sit and read my mystery," Larry answers.  Balki picks up the orange lamp and holds it closer to the book for Larry.  Larry eyes him with frustration until Balki finally puts the lamp down.  Balki watches Larry as he seems to be preparing to turn the page and reaches over to turn it for him.  "What are you doing?  What are you doing?" Larry cries.  "I thought you were finished with that page," Balki explains.  "Balki, I just would like to finish this book so that I can go to bed," Larry says.

"You can't go to bed until you finish that book?" Balki asks.  "That's right," Larry confirms.  "The great aunt Phoebe did it," Balki says, "She did not have to be in a wheelchair.  She used to get up at night dressed like a man and stab relatives."  Larry slowly looks at the last page of the book.  "That's right," he says, forcing a smile and dropping the book on the couch.  "Now you can go to bed!" Balki says, "Is there anything else I can do for you?"  "Balki, look," Larry sighs, taking one of the slippers to put on, "I know you're doing this because you feel you have to, and I appreciate it, it's just that . . . "  Larry leans over to put his slipper on and Balki lowers his head accordingly.  " . . . Could we not do the head thing?" Larry begs.  "Well, actually that rule is optional," Balki says.  "Good!  Then stop . . . now!" Larry orders, "Stand up."  Balki reluctantly stands, with Larry urging him, "Up, up . . . up, up, up, up . . . good.  Now if you don't mind I'd like to watch a little TV."

"All right," Balki sighs, walking around the back of the couch.  When he gets behind Larry he starts to lower his head again but Larry says, "Ah!" to stop him.  Balki goes into the kitchen as Larry turns on the television and starts watching a western.  Balki starts using a hand mixer to stir the contents of a bowl, the mixer drowning out the sound of the television.  Larry eyes Balki with frustration.  "Balki?  Ba . . . Balki, would you come here, please?" Larry calls.  Balki moves around the small counter and steps toward Larry, still holding the bowl and beaters.  "Closer," Larry says.  Balki steps closer.  "Closer."  Balki takes another step.  "Closer," Larry urges.  Balki takes another step and the cord of the beater pulls out of the wall, turning the beater off.  "Close enough," Larry says, "What are you doing?"  "I'm making your lunch for tomorrow," Balki answers, "Sheep Wellington."  "Well, thank you," Larry sighs, "Balki, how long does this Primodopolos thing go on?"  "Forever," Balki answers.  Larry gets a pained expression as Balki continues to stir the contents of the bowl with the stopped beaters.

Later that evening, Larry has fallen asleep on the couch.  Balki tiptoes out of the bedroom holding a piece of rope.  Quietly he approaches the couch and takes one end of the rope, which has been fastened into a slipknot, and carefully puts it around Larry’s ankle, tightening it.  He then ties the other end to the end table next to the couch.  Satisfied Balki starts to turn away but then stops, eyeing Larry with concern.  Larry is so sound sleep it looks as if he may be dead.  Balki leans down toward Larry's chest, trying to listen to his heartbeat, then turns his head to look at Larry worriedly.  Finally Balki gets the lid of a pan from the kitchen, wiping it with his shirt and holding it under Larry’s nose to see if he can see any trace of Larry's breath, which would show up as a steam cloud on the lid.  When he sees none he is distraught.  Finally Balki pulls up Larry’s eyelids and after a second Larry lets out a scream and they both jump a mile.

"Don't you ever . . . EVER . . . do that again!" Larry says adamantly.  "Don't worry!" Balki assures him.  "What were you doing?" Larry demands.  "Trying to see if you were alive," Balki explains.  "Well, obviously I am!" Larry says.  "And that makes me happier than a tick on a sheepdog," Balki says.  "Well, that makes it a red letter day for me, too!" Larry scoffs.  He gets up and starts to walk around the couch, not noticing the rope tied to his ankle, which is pulling taut.  "Are you going to stay mad at me long?" Balki asks.  Larry stops just short of the rope pulling tight and walks back to Balki to answer.  "No, I am not going to stay mad at you," Larry assures him, "It's just that you . . . you . . . you scared me!"  Once again Larry walks away.  "A hero can be scared?" Balki asks.  Larry stops just short again and doubles back.  "Oh . . . not . . . not scared . . . but uh . . . uh . . . surprised.  Look, Balki, I know you're only trying to take care of me and I appreciate the thought, but this has got to come to an end."  This time Larry walks further than before and the rope pulls taut, yanking him off his feet.

Slowly Larry gets to his feet and traces the rope back to see that it is tied to the end table.  "Why . . . am I tethered to the table?" Larry asks with extreme patience.  "So that you can’t walk in your sleep and fall out the window," Balki explains, "Pretty smart, huh?"  "Balki, what are the chances of me walking in my sleep and falling out the window?" Larry asks.  "Now?  No chance," Balki answers.  Larry is fed up.  "I'm going to untie myself now, and then I am going to bed."  Larry takes the rope off his ankle and heads for his bedroom, stopping in front of Balki to say, "Good night."  "Good night," Balki replies nicely.  Larry heads for his bedroom and Balki follows right behind him.  Sensing something, Larry stops right outside his door a moment, then turns to look behind him.  Balki has stepped slightly to the side so that Larry can't see him.  Larry scans the room and doesn't see Balki, so continues into his room, with Balki right in step behind him.  The door closes and a moment later Larry yells, "Balki!" and the door opens and Balki jumps outside.  Larry closes the door as Balki leans against it to listen.

The next morning at the Ritz Discount Balki is sweeping the floor while singing "'Cause we are living in the material world and I am a material boy, you know that we are living . . . "  Larry enters looking fit to be tied.  " . . . in a material world and I am a material . . . hello," Balki greets Larry, "How are you this morning, American Hero?"  "Two hours late," Larry answers, "Someone turned off my alarm.  I wonder who that could be?"  "Me," Balki confesses.  "Oh!" Larry reacts as if this were no surprise.  "I turned off it so you could sleep in," Balki explains.  "I have never been late in my life!" Larry points out, "Not in high school, not in grade school . . . I was born three weeks early!"  Mr. Twinkacetti exits his office and sees Larry.  "Ah, thanks for dropping by, Appleton!"  He checks his watch.  "Uh, I'm docking you two hours pay."  Larry gives Balki a look of anger.  "Don't you give me that face yet!" Balki says, handing Larry the broom and walking to Twinkacetti, "All right, Mr. Twinkacetti, two hours.  What is it, huh?   A few poultry dollars?  Take it out of my salary."  "That is your salary," Mr. Twinkacetti points out, then leaves.

"Balki, this whole thing is getting out of hand," Larry complains, "I'm just not cut out to be served."  "Well, you have to be," Balki says, "You're the Primodopolos!"  "Oh," Larry sighs, "No, I'm not.  I resign."  "Well, you can't do that," Balki says, "It's for life!"  "I'm the Primodopolos?" Larry asks.  "Yes, you are," Balki nods.  "And anything I say goes?" Larry asks.  "Well, of course it does.  Don't be ridiculous," Balki replies.  "You can't serve me any more!" Larry orders.  Balki is shocked.  "But . . . if I can't serve you . . . I failed.  And if I failed the Primodopolos, then . . . I'm a . . . nebulopolos."  Balki says this last word with great disdain.  "You'll get over it," Larry assures him, "Sticks and stones."  "That's just exactly what they throw at nebulopoli," Balki explains, then sulks, "I'm a disgrace.  I can't even show my face in public."  He grabs a tote bag from the counter and pulls it over his head.  Larry watches this with sheer exasperation.  "Well, I'll just get back to my sweeping," Balki sighs, feeling his way over to Larry's face in search of the broom, which Larry places in his hand.  Balki starts sweeping slowly, singing "Nobody knows the trouble I see . . . "  He pauses and looks back toward Larry, who is unmoved.  " . . . nobody knows the sorrow," Balki continues as the scene fades to black.

Later that same day, Balki is unpacking shirts from a box and laying them on a table while still wearing the bag over his head.  Larry is watching from behind the counter.  Mr. Twinkacetti enters the store and stops to look.  "Still wearing the bag?" he asks.  "Yeah, he's getting pretty good at it," Larry observes.  Mr. Twinkacetti walks over to Balki.  "Turnip, I like the look . . . but it's scaring away customers.  Why don't you go into the basement and sort pants by color?"  "Thank you," Balki says, and walks away.  "He's not even fun to abuse any more," Twinkacetti sighs.  Larry walks over to his boss, saying, "I don't know what to do."  "I'll tell you what to do," Twinkacetti offers, "Go jump in front of a taxicab and hope the turnip pulls you out of the way."  "And what if he doesn't?" Larry asks.  "Either way, your problems are solved!" Twinkacetti points out.  "Thanks, but I prefer a solution that I can live through," Larry notes.  "Oh sure, think of yourself," Twinkacetti sneers, "Wait a minute, I got an idea.  I have a friend who's an actor.  Why don't you just hire him to break into the apartment, make a little noise, wake up the turnip, and then run like hell?  He thinks he saved your life and you're even."

Larry laughs at this until he notes Mr. Twinkacetti's serious expression.  "Oh, uh . . . you mean it," Larry realizes, "Well, uh . . . that's a real, uh . . . idea.  But, uh . . . I don't think so."  "Huh, it's up to you," Twinkacetti sighs, "You're the Primo-potamus."  "What is the cost on something like this?" Larry asks.  "Fifty bucks," Twinkacetti states.  "Fifty?  I wouldn't be asking him to do King Lear!"  Balki enters through a doorway and says, "I can't find the basement," just before he walks into a display of gasoline cans on a cardboard box, knocking them all to the floor with a loud crash.  "I keep on looking," Balki sighs, going back through the door.  Larry pulls some money out of his pocket and counts out fifty dollars to give to Twinkacetti.  "Have him come before midnight," Larry says, "I don't want to be up late."  Larry goes after Balki, calling, "Balki?  Balki?"  After Larry leaves, Mr. Twinkacetti walks to the phone and dials.  "Yeah, is Jimmy there?" he says into the receiver, "He's in New York?  What's he doing there?  King Lear?  Uh, no no . . . no message."  Twinkacetti pockets the money, looking devious and saying, "His loss . . . my gain!" before hanging up the phone.

Late that night in the apartment, Larry is sitting up in bed with the door to his bedroom open.  Balki is sleeping on the sofabed with the bag still over his head (Dimitri also has a little bag over his head.)  Larry looks at his alarm clock impatiently.  Through the living room window, we see a man come down the fire escape and slowly open their window, crawling into he apartment.  He's got a bag over his shoulder and is wearing a baseball cap.  He immediately starts grabbing various items and putting them into his bag.  Larry hears noises and then sees the man sneaking around the apartment.  He walks out to confront the man he thinks is the actor Twinkacetti hired.  "Where have you been?"  The man is startled by Larry's approach.  "You were supposed to be here by midnight!"  "I work my own hours," the confused burglar answers.  Larry grabs the bag from the man and looks at it.  "You're not supposed to take things!" Larry complains.  "That's what I do," the burglar explains, taking back the bag.  "Okay, okay, nice touch," Larry concedes, "And look at this outfit!  Who ever heard of a burglar wearing a baseball cap?"  Larry pulls the cap off the man.  The man snatches it back.

"All right," Larry sighs, "Look, let me go over it again.  You come through the window, you wake him up, threaten me.  When he asks what's going on you scream in terror, beg him not to hurt you and run.  Do you think you can handle that?"  "This some kind of hospital or somethin'?" the burglar asks.  "Hospital?" Larry sighs, "Didn't Twinkacetti tell you anything?  Oh . . . look.  I'll wake him up.  You try to look . . . mean."  Larry walks over to turn on the lights and then steps over to the sofabed as the burglar goes about his business.  "Oh no!  Oh no!" Larry cries, pulling the bag off Balki's head and waking him up, "It's a burglar!  Balki, look!  It's a robber!  Oh!  Oh!  We're going to be robbed!  And here I am frozen with fear!  Oh!  If only someone with courage would jump up and save us . . . wait a minute!  What about you?  You can do it Balki!"  Balki is looking past Larry and says, "Don't be ridiculous!  He's got a gun."  "He does?" Larry asks with confusion.  He turns to see the burglar has pulled out a gun and is holding on them.  Larry steps to him, saying, "You're not supposed to have a gun."  The burglar holds it up for Larry to see.

"That's real," Larry notes, then it all clicks for him.  "Oh . . . oh you're not, uh . . . oh, you're a burglar.  Oh my God.  Uh . . . uh . . . "  Larry raises his hands.  "Don't shoot.  Please.  I am barely in my mid-twenties, I have never been skiing, I didn't mean to offend you!  I love your hat!  It's just that I make a lousy first . . . "  "Shut up!" the burglar demands.  "I can!  I can do that!" Larry assures him, "I didn't talk through the entire third grade."  "Will you shut up?" the burglar asks, pushing Larry back towards Balki.  Now Balki is angry.  "You can't do that to Cousin Larry!" Balki states.  "Yes, I can!" the burglar argues.  "Yes, he can," Larry agrees.  The burglar pushes Larry back again.  "You do that again and you're in big trouble!" Balki warns.  "Balki, if the man wants to shove me, let him shove me," Larry says.  "There, you heard it!" the burglar notes, pushing Larry again, this time where he falls back against Balki and they both sit down briefly on the sofabed before bouncing up again.  "If you do that one more time, I'm not responsible!" Balki states.  The burglar rolls his eyes and pushes them both down again.  Again they bounce back up.  "Why do you keep doing that?" Balki asks.  "Because I'm the one that's got the gun," the burglar says, holding it up again.

"Give me that!" Balki says, snatching the gun from the man's hand quickly.  Larry, who has had his hands up the entire time, steps away from Balki toward the burglar.  "All right, buster, reach for the friendly skies!" Balki says.  "Balki, you've got the gun, that's great!" Larry smiles.  "You can put your hands down now," Balki tells Larry.  "Even better," Larry sighs, as both he and burglar lower their hands.  "Not you!" Balki tells the burglar, but Larry thinks Balki is talking to him and they both end up raising their hands again.  "Down yours, up yours!" Balki tries to explain, but both Larry and the burglar are confused, not sure who should raise or lower their hands.  Balki reaches over and pulls Larry to him.  "What your name is?" Balki demands to know from the burglar.  "Uh . . . John Doe," the man answers.  "Put your hand out," Balki orders.  The burglar lowers his hands.  Balki quickly slaps the man's fingers and scolds, "Shame on you, John Doe!  Breaking into other people's houses and taking things that don't belong to you!  Binda hoha tippy toka niki ip pa pa pa taka fingi!"  "Ha ha!" Larry adds.  "Hey, you're right!  Whatever you just said!" the burglar agrees.  "Call the police, Cousin," Balki urges.  "Oh, you bet I will!" Larry says, and he runs to the window and leans out, screaming, "Help!  Police!  Help!  Help!  Help!  Police!"  He starts to crawl out onto the fire escape.

Even later that evening Balki and Larry return to the apartment.  Larry helps Balki off with his jacket.  "Boy, the police department was fun," Balki smiles, "I like that they give me ice cream cone and then they let me take my fingieprints."  Balki's hands are completely covered with ink and he motions with them toward Larry.  "Don't touch anything until you wash your hands," Larry says.  "They even let me stand in the lineup," Balki notes, "But I didn't win."  "It's just as well," Larry smiles, "First prize is twenty years."  Larry closes the front door and says, "Well, I'm gonna turn in."  "Give me fifteen minutes, I . . . I warm up your bed," Balki says, moving toward the bedroom.  "No, that is over," Larry says, heading him off.  "Well, then it's back to the bag on my head!" Balki insists, heading for the sofabed to get the bag.  Once again Larry stops him.  "No, Balki . . . don't you realize what you've done?" Larry asks.  "I did something wrong?" Balki asks worriedly.  "No, you saved my life," Larry explains, "You're a hero!  What you did took guts!"

"Really?" Balki asks.  "Yes!"  "Am I as brave as you?" Balki asks.  "Oh, I am way down here," Larry indicates with his hands, "And you are way, way . . . "  Larry notes the way Balki is processing this and changes his tactic by placing both hands at the same level, " . . . we are even.  Equals.  Two peas in a pod.  A couple of Primodopoli."  "But I don't feel like a hero," Balki says, "Somebody was pushing my friend and I had to stop him."  "Well, that's all I did when I pushed you out of the way of the taxi," Larry explains, "That's what you do when you care about somebody."  "You . . . you care about me?" Balki asks, touched.  "Well . . . " Larry starts to nod.  "I care about you, too!" Balki gushes, hugging Larry tightly.  "Well, thank you," Larry chuckles, "for the service and for saving my life and, uh . . . good night."  "Good night," Balki smiles.  Larry turns to walk to his bedroom and reveals that Balki has left huge black handprints on the back of Larry's shirt.  Seeing this, Balki clasps a hand over his mouth, then pulls it away, leaving a black hand print across his face as well as he shakes his head.

Continue on to the next episode . . .