Strangers Episode Guide
105 - The Ring
First Air Date:
November 23, 1990
Nielsen Rating: 12.5 HH
Created by: Dale McRaven
Written by: Harriet Helberg & Sandy Helberg
Directed by: Richard Correll
Bronson Pinchot: Balki Bartokomous
Mark Linn-Baker: Larry Appleton
Melanie Wilson: Jennifer Lyons
Rebeca Arthur: Mary Anne
Dimitriís photo once again appears on the bookcase.
"Well, Iíll praise it for you right now . . . "
ridiculous: Not said in this episode.
used in this episode:
"Balki, Balki, Balki . . . "
"Oh po po!"
"I donít know what youíre talking about!" (Balki just mouths this)
Other running jokes
used in this episode:
Larry and Balki sigh simultaneously
Balki says he doesnít know what Larry is talking about and recounts what has
happened before from his own perspective, although in this case itís just
Larry grabs Balki by the shirt collar and throttles him
Larry buys Jennifer an engagement ring.
- This episode features a nifty little transition when the zooming in on
the establishing shot of the apartment fades gently into a slow zoom of the
dining table where Balki, Larry, Jennifer and Mary Anne are eating.
Usually the cuts from the establishing shots didnít include fades.
This would be the first and last time we see Jennifer and Mary Anneís bedroom.
Itís interesting to note that while the girlsí apartment is situated
directly above the guysí, and their layout should technically be the same,
Jennifer and Mary Anne share a bedroom instead of each having their own.
- We also learn that Mary Anne sleeps with a
stuffed hound dog, much the way Balki sleeps with Dimitri (it's kind of
surprising she doesn't have a stuffed poodle, though.)
- This script was written by the husband and wife
team of Sandy Helberg and Harriet B. Helberg. Sandy has also worked as an
actor, appearing in such shows as Fernwood 2 Night, Trapper John, M.D.,
M*A*S*H, Solid Gold, Newhart, Remington Steele, Night Court and Days of
Our Lives. Harriet has worked as a casting director for various
television shows and movies including Barney Miller, Carrie, Benson and Night
Court. Their son, Simon Helberg, currently stars as Howard Wolowitz on
CBS' sitcom, The Big Bang Theory.
- When Larry throws the roll at Balkiís head, it bounces of and then
hits Mary Anne in the legs and drops at her feet. You can almost see
Rebeca trying not to laugh when this happens.
When Jennifer and Mary Anne move to the bedroom door to get the umbrellas, there
is a stuffed raccoon lying on the floor with its face to the camera and itís
tail going past the dresser leg. But when the scene cuts back a moment
later it is lying in a slightly different position.
- What happened to Mary Anne's poodle, seen in the
third season episode Future Shock? She's not seen in the apartment
in this episode. But the dog would be mentioned in the seventh season
episode, The Bachelor. Maybe the dog sleeps in another room?
The episode begins with a close-up of a beautiful diamond ring in a velvet ring
box. The camera pulls back and we see Larry and Balki sitting on the
couch. Larry is showing the ring to Balki. "Balki, look at this
. . . Jennifer is gonna love her engagement ring. And I was smart enough
to buy it from a discount jeweler so I got twice the ring at half the
price." "Well, Cousin, Jenniferís gonna need twice the finger
to hold it up," Balki comments, "Itís humongous! I donít
know what was so wrong with that little diamond chip." "Balki,
Balki, Balki," Larry laughs, "In America, the size of a manís love
for his woman is determined by the size of the diamond he buys her. Big
diamond, lots of love . . . little diamond, hereís your hat, whatís your
hurry?" "On Mypos, the size of a manís love is determined by
the size of the goat he gives his beloved," Balki explains, "Big goat,
lots of love . . . little goat, thatís all she wrote."
culture," Larry sighs as he snaps he ring box shut and reaches down to pick
up the gift box. Balki picks up the lid and reads it. "Cousin,
the box says ĎTiffany!í" Balki notes, the he asks, "You got a box
from Tiffany and you didnít get me her autograph?" "No, Balki,
this is not a box from Tiffany the singer," Larry explains, "This is a
box from Tiffany the jewelry store." "Well, you didnít buy the
ring from Tiffany the jewelry store," Balki points out, "You bought
the ring from Harrison Dunne, the Diamond King." "I know I
didnít buy it at Tiffanyís, but I thought this would be more impressive than
the raisin box Harrison Dunne put the diamond in," Larry explains, "Balki,
when I give this ring to Jennifer itís gonna be one of the great moments of my
life . . . and I want everything to be perfect."
is a knock at the door. "Oh! Oh!" Larry says, getting up
and putting the box into his jacket pocket, "All right." He
walks to the door with Balki behind him then pauses a moment to take a couple of
breaths before opening the door. "Hi," Jennifer says,
"Larry, whatís going on? You said it was important."
Larry takes Jennifer by the hand and leads her to the couch. Mary Anne
follows Jennifer and sits on the arm of the couch as Balki closes the front door
and moves behind the couch to watch. "Jennifer, uh . . . I have
something for you and I wanted our two best friends to share this moment,"
Larry smiles, then begins, "Jennifer . . . sweetheart . . . "
"Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait . . . " Balki urges, and he runs to
the door and turns off the lights, then brings two lighted candles over to the
coffee table and sets them down. "This is romantic . . . itís
romantic," Balki whispers to Larry, then he goes to his place behind the
you," Larry says to Balki, then he begins again, "Jennifer . . .
sweetheart . . . " "Oh wait, wait, wait, wait . . . " Balki
says again, this time going to the stereo to turn on some music. As he
turns up the volume on "String of Pearls," moving his hips to the
rhythm, Larry calls back, "Balki? Balki?" Getting
Balkiís attention, Larry motions for Balki to turn the music down, which Balki
does. "Thank you," Larry says, and Balki comes around to sit on
the other arm of the couch as Larry begins again. "Jennifer,
sweetheart . . . " He pulls the box out of his pocket and hands it to
her. "This is for you." Jennifer opens the box and removes
the velvet ring box, opening it. She gasps with surprise. "Oh,
Larry, itís gorgeous!" she says, "This is the biggest diamond Iíve
ever seen! Itís too much." "Nothing is too much for the
woman I love," Larry insists. He takes the ring out of the box and
slips it onto Jenniferís finger. They share a kiss and then hug.
Balki runs around the coffee table to get
a hug from Mary Anne. Then Mary Anne goes to hug Larry and Balki hugs
Jennifer. Then the girls
scream with delight and hug each other as Larry and Balki share a good macho
embrace and laugh, then sigh simultaneously. "Oh Larry!"
Jennifer says, and Jennifer tries to get back to Larry but has to make her way
through the tangle of people between the couch and coffee table. Larry and
Jennifer hold one another as Balki goes to turn on the lights again and turn off
the music. Mary Anne has picked up the box the ring came in and notes,
"Ooh, Jennifer, itís from Tiffanyís. You should have it
insured." "Oh, youíre right," Jennifer says, "First
thing Monday morning Iíll get the ring appraised." "Well,
Iíll praise it for you right now," Balki offers, taking her hand with the
ring on it, "Itís a beautiful ring. Itís gorgeous!"
"Balki," Larry tries to interrupt. "Itís a sparkly
ring!" "No, Balki . . . Balki . . . " Larry continues.
"Itís a . . . itís a . . . " Balki stammers. "No,
no," Larry says, "Not praise the ring. ĎAppraiseí the ring.
When you appraise something you determine its value."
Cousin, I can determine its value," Balki says, "I was . . . I was
right there when you bought it. What six . . . . " Balki starts
to say how much Larry paid for the ring but Larry jumps across to Balki and
clasps a hand over his mouth, laughing to cover himself. Larry turns to
the girls and says, "Yeah, uh, Jennifer . . . having the ring insured is a
good idea. When it comes to diamonds you canít be too careful."
"Iíll say," Mary Anne says, "We just heard on the news tonight
about some guy named Harrison Dunne getting arrested for selling phony
diamonds." After a moment, Larry reacts to this news and asks,
"Phony diamonds?" "Yeah," Jennifer confirms,
"Itís hard to believe someone would be foolish enough to buy diamonds out
of the trunk of a Buick." Jennifer and Mary Anne laugh and Balki
joins in but Larry is not laughing. Larry turns to look at Balki and
seeing the expression on Larryís face Balki stops laughing and says, "Oh
po po!" "Harrison Dunne?" Larry asks, "His name was
Harrison Dunne?" Mary Anne nods.
"Well, Cousin, isnít that a small
world?" Balki asks. "Yes," Larry tries to cut Balki off,
"Yes . . . yes it is . . . " "Because . . . because when we
went . . . " "Yes, it is," Larry keeps saying, waving to
Balki to be quiet. Balki waves back in a friendly way, not understanding that
Larry doesnít want him to say anything. Jennifer walks over and
interrupts, saying, "Oh Larry, I love this ring!" She kisses him
and says, "Now, I have to go call my mother and every girl I ever went to
high school with. Come on, Mary Anne." As they head to the
door, Mary Anne says, "Well, you didnít have to call me. I live
with you." "I wasnít going to call you," Jennifer says.
"Why not? Iím your best friend!" Mary Anne says in a hurt tone
as they leave, closing the door behind them. Once theyíre gone, Larry
turns to Balki and cries, "Balki, this is terrible! Monday morning
after Jennifer has the ring appraised sheís gonna know the ringís a fake and
her fianceeís a fool." "What a rotten way to start the
week," Balki sighs with sympathy, and he goes to blow out the candles.
"W . . . what am I gonna do?" Larry asks. "Well, Cousin,
you just tell her the truth," Balki suggests, "You tried to impress
her, you tried to get something for nothing, you . . . you . . . you went
overboard . . . itís classic Larry Appleton . . . Iíve seen it again and
again and again."
"Youíre right," Larry sighs,
"I do this all the time." "Well . . . " Balki sighs.
"I canít let her know Iíve done it again!" Larry cries, "All
what weíre gonna do!" "Oh God!" Balki moans.
"Iíll sell my car," Larry says, "Weíll buy a real diamond and
weíll switch rings without Jennifer knowing and everything will be fine!"
"Cousin, selling your car is wrong," Balki insists, "Okay?
Switching the rings is wrong. And while weíre on the subject, making a
dog wear pants is wrong." "Balki, before . . . when I tried to
get something for nothing . . . that was wrong," Larry explains,
"And you were right! And it would be wrong if I didnít try to right
that wrong, right?" Balki tries to take this all in. "So .
. . so . . . so what youíre saying is the right way to right the wrong is to
give Jennifer back the right ring and take back the wrong ring?"
"Right," Larry confirms. "Well, in that case Iíll help
you," Balki smiles. "You will?" Larry asks with surprise.
"Yes, I will," Balki says, "Because if I donít youíre gonna
keep talking in circles until I get dizzy, so Iím gonna save you the time and
me the headache. Come on, letís go deal your wheels." Balki
starts to push Larry to the front door.
Sunday night, Larry and Balki are sitting
at the dining table having dinner with Jennifer and Mary Anne. "Balki,
that was delicious," Mary Anne
says. "Oh, thank you, Mary Anne," Balki smiles, "I donít
often make Moolinki loaf. Itís nearly impossible to find fresh ox
tonsils in Chicago." Jennifer and Larry both react with disgust upon
hearing this ingredient. "Seconds?" Balki asks. Jennifer
and Larry just stare at him. "Mary Anne, why donít you help me
clear away these dishes?" Jennifer suggests. The girls get up from
the table and take the dishes to the kitchen sink. Larry slides over to
Balki. "All right, Balki, remember what weíre going to do.
Iíll get Jennifer to take off her ring then Iíll distract the girls.
When I do, you switch the real ring for the fake ring and give me the okay
sign." "Okay," Balki nods. Larry stands up and speaks
in a scripted manner, saying, "Balki . . . why donít you help Mary Anne
finish clearing off the table and Iíll help Jennifer wash the dishes."
"Why Cousin, thatís a very good idea," Balki replies in an even more
stilted manner, causing Jennifer and Mary Anne to share a look of confusion.
gives Balki a look that could kill, then walks into the kitchen as Mary Anne
returns to the dining room. "Ooh, uh, Jennifer . . . donít you
think you should, uh, take off your ring?" Larry asks, "Uh, you . . .
you donít want it, uh, slipping off your soapy finger and falling down the
drain." "Oh, youíre right," Jennifer realizes, taking off
the ring and giving it to Larry. "Iím not used to wearing a
diamond." Jennifer kisses Larry and Larry walks over to the counter
to set the ring down, saying aloud to get Balkiís attention, "Iíll just
put the ring over here." Balki and Mary Anne are flirting at the
dining table so Balki is not paying any attention to Larry at all.
"Iíll just put the ring over here," Larry repeats louder, still not
catching Balkiís attention. "Iíll just put the ring on the
counter over here," Larry growls angrily and even louder. "All
right, fine, Larry!" Jennifer says in a frustrated tone. Larry
realizes Jenniferís heard every word and looks startled, then smiles at her
Balki continues to ignore him, Larry grabs a roll from a small bread basket and
throws it at Balki, hitting him in the back of the head. Balki turns to
look at Larry, who places the ring on the counter and emphatically mouths,
"The ring is here!" Balki motions to Larry with frustration,
indicating that okay, he understands. As Balki walks to the other side of
the counter, Larry crosses to Jennifer, who is washing a plate. "Oh,
careful Jennifer," Larry says to distract her, "Uh, thatís uh . . .
that plate is a family heirloom." "It is?" Jennifer asks.
"Oh yes, thatís been in my family since the 1700's," Larry lies,
drying it with a towel, "Thereís a date on the back. Uh well, here
. . . come down here into the dining room where the light is better and Iíll
show you." Larry carries the plate to the dining room and he,
Jennifer and Mary Anne all stare at the back of it. Unbeknownst to Larry,
Balki is intrigued by the talk of the plate and moves over to look at it with
them instead of switching the rings.
. . . I . . . I donít see any date," Jennifer says. Balki leans
over and suggests, "You know, uh . . . Cousin, maybe if you tilt it a
little to the light you might be able to see it a little bit better."
Balki reaches over and tilts the plate as they all look at it. Larry eyes
Balki in disbelief. "Good idea, Balki," Larry says, motioning
slightly with his head to try to get Balki to remember to switch the rings.
"You know, maybe itís written in invisible ink," Balki suggests,
reaching down to pick up a slice of lemon from the table, "Maybe if we just
squeeze a little bit of lem . . . " Larry shoves Balki away in
mid-squeeze and again motions with his head toward the counter. Balki
remembers what he is supposed to be doing and goes to the counter.
"Larry, I donít see anything," Jennifer insists. "Oh, w .
. . well, maybe itís, uh . . . maybe itís on the edge here," Larry
suggests, "Uh, it . . . it could be, uh . . . just . . . right there . . .
" Balki makes the switch with the rings, tossing the fake one in the
air and then putting it into his pants pocket.
"Well, why donít you just keep
looking and Iíll finish washing the dishes, okay?" Jennifer asks.
Mary Anne gives Larry a condescending smile
and picks up a couple of glasses, which she takes into the kitchen as well.
Larry walks to the counter and looks at Balki, who is standing on the other side
of the living room and waving his arms back and forth with his palms down as if
he were calling a ball player safe. Larry eyes the movement, not knowing
what it means, then mimics it in a smaller fashion but questioningly.
Balki repeats the movement even more wildly. Larry mouths, "Give me
the ring," and motions for Balki to hand it to him. Balki looks
confused. Larry repeats mouthing, "Give me the ring," more intensely
and again motions for Balki to hand it to him. Balki motions to his pants
pocket with surprise, mouthing, "You want this ring?" Larry
emphatically mouths, "Give me the ring RIGHT NOW!" and motions in an
even more demanding fashion. Balki mouths, "I donít know what
youíre talking about!" and starts to mime how he was over at the dining
table flirting with Mary Anne and Larry hit him on the back of the head with the
Larry stares at Balki angrily and mouths,
"Iím going to kill you." Balki looks shocked and immediately
reaches into his pocket to pull out the fake
ring, which he tosses to Larry. This causes a slight noise which makes
Jennifer and Mary Anne turn around to look at Larry. "Oh, uh,
gosh," Larry says, then he drops the "heirloom" plate heís
still holding on the floor where it breaks into pieces. Jennifer bends
down to start picking up the pieces, putting them into a dish towel, and Larry
says, "Oh God, tell me itís not broken." Balki runs over to
help and Mary Anne is bending over the broken plate as well, so Larry switches
the real ring with the fake ring and puts the real ring into his pocket.
Jennifer picks up the towel full of broken pieces and hands it to Larry, saying,
"Larry, you must be heartbroken!" "Well, hey, weíll get
new family heirlooms when weíre married." Larry tosses the towel
into the garbage can nonchalantly before picking up the ring from the counter
and saying, "Oh here, Jennifer. Better put your ring back on."
"But Larry, I havenít finished washing the dishes yet," Jennifer
points out. "Oh forget the dishes," Larry says, "No wife of
mine is going to be doing dishes." He kisses her sweetly then leads
her to the door. "Now, why donít you just go upstairs and, uh, plan
our wedding. Bye bye."
"Wait a minute! Wait a minute,
girls," Balki calls, chasing after them with a paper bag, "I made you
a bowser bag of Moolinki loaf." Larry kisses
Jennifer again and the girls leave. "Bye bye. Bye bye,"
Larry says as they exit, then he turns to Balki and exclaims, "Yes!
Balki, we pulled it off. Now Jenniferís wearing a genuine diamond and we
can throw this hunk of glass in the garbage." "Cousin, you know,
I canít tell the difference between Jenniferís real diamond and this fake
diamond," Balki notes. "Well, Balki, I can understand your
confusion," Larry says, "Of course, to my trained eye itís obvious
this is not a real diamond. But to the average person like yourself, Balki,
there is only one way to tell." Larry leads Balki over to the window.
"A diamond is the hardest substance in nature," Larry explains,
"It can cut glass. Larry takes the ring and runs it in a circle over
the closed window pane. "See? Nothing," Larry says,
"Now if this were a real diamond there would be a hole right here."
Larry taps on the glass and a circular piece falls out and breaks on the other
side. On Larryís shocked reaction the scene fades to black.
two begins with a close up of the hole in the glass. The camera pulls back
to show Balki and Larry where we left them at the end of act one. Larry
turns to Balki with accusing eyes and asks, "What did you do?"
"What do you mean, what I did do?" Balki asks, "I was just
standing here. You were the one who cut the glass." "No,
not the window," Larry says as he grabs Balki by the shirt collar,
"The ring? What did you do with the ring?" "I
switched it like you told me to," Balki answers in a choked voice.
"You switched it?" Larry asks. "Like you told me to,"
Balki repeats in the choked voice. Larry releases and Balki and asks,
"Well, then why did you go like this?" Larry makes the motion
with his hands as Balki did earlier.
this means everythingís okay," Balki explains, doing the motion again
himself. "No, this means everything is okay!" Larry
corrects, doing a thumbs up. "No, Cousin," Balki argues, holding
his thumb up as well, "This means the lead sheep has been
neutered." Larryís eyes grow wide with shock as he realizes what
has happened. "Oh my Lord!" Larry cries, walking to the living
room, "Oh . . . oh no. Oh no. That means that Jennifer still
has the fake ring and sheís gonna get it appraised first thing in the morning.
All right, Balki, we are going to go upstairs to the girlsí apartment tonight
while theyíre sleeping and get that ring back!" Larry pulls Balki
toward the front door. "Where are we going?" Balki asks.
"We gotta get some flashlights," Larry explains and he pushes Balki
out the door.
that night, Jennifer and Mary Anne are sleeping upstairs in their bedroom.
Mary Anne is wearing a sleep mask over her eyes. Larry and Balki appear at
the window on the fire escape. They see the girls sleeping in their beds.
Larry and Balki are inadvertently shining their flashlights toward each others
faces, so that when they look at each other they are startled and let out a
scream. They then shush each other. The girls stir but donít
awaken. "Just open the window," Larry says. Balki slides
the window open and then crawls inside, climbing over a dresser covered with
stuffed animals. Larry climbs in after him but as heís crawling over the
dresser Balki shines his flashlight right into Larryís face. "Balki
. . . my eyes!" Larry cries out, and he falls over the dresser and onto the
floor. When Larry gets to his feet, Balki is using his flashlight to look
at a stuffed animal. Larry takes the flashlight from Balki and then shines
both flashlights directly into Balkiís eyes, blinding him temporarily.
motions for Balki to follow him to Jenniferís bed. Larry stops at the
edge of the bed but Balki, who is still blinded, bumps into the back of Larry
and almost knocks him across Jennifer. Larry pauses for a moment and
comments, "Iíve dreamed of being in Jenniferís bedroom. I just
never thought Iíd have to break in." Larry hands the real ring to
Balki and says, "Here . . . hold the ring for me." Balki takes
it and puts it on his pinky finger for safe keeping. Larry kneels down
next to the bed and reaches over gently, trying to remove the ring from
Jenniferís finger, but Jennifer rolls over in her sleep away from him.
Balki motions to go around the other side. They make their way around the
bed. As Larry approaches Jennifer again, Balki stops and looks down at
Mary Anne as she sleeps. He leans down and kisses her nose. Balki
then looks at Larry, shrugs, and starts to bend down to kiss her again but Larry
slaps a hand on Balkiís shoulder to stop him.
Larry and Balki kneel down next to
Jenniferís bed again and Larry tries to get the ring once more, but Jennifer
moves her hand underneath her
pillow. Larry motions to Balki that he doesn't know what to do.
Balki gets up and walks around the bed to the night stand on the other side
where he gets a sheet of tissue. Balki uses the tissue to tickle
Jenniferís nose, which makes her pull her hand out to rub it. As Larry
works on getting the ring off, Balki twists the tissue into a point and is just
about to stick it up Jenniferís nose when Larry snatches it away and gives
Balki a scathing look. Larry tries several times to pull the ring off
Jenniferís finger but it wonít budge. He motions to Balki with
frustration. Balki looks around for an idea and then motions to Larry to
wait a moment. He reaches over and picks up a jar of cold cream.
Larry nods and motions for Balki to open it. Balki tries to unscrew the
lid but itís stuck. He struggles with it more and more, leaning further
over Jennifer. Larry has to throw out his hands to prevent Balki from
falling across the bed.
Balki finally manages to open the jar
right in front of Larryís face. He holds it out to show Larry, who looks
down and dips his nose in the cold
cream. Balki laughs at this until Larry takes the jaw and pushes it on
Balkiís chin, leaving Balki with a chin covered with cold cream. Larry
then pushes Balki back to a standing position. They then work to dip
Jenniferís finger in the cold cream. Larry works to remove the ring
while Balki cleans his chin off with a tissue. He gets another tissue and
wipes off Larryís nose as well. Larry finally manages to get the ring
off Jenniferís finger, holding it up triumphantly. Balki motions,
"All right!" the Myposian way. Balki then takes some tissue and
starts to clean the cold cream from Jenniferís hand, but she stirs and rolls
over toward him. As Larry ducks down, Jennifer pulls Balki into her bosom
and holds him tight. Larry pops back up and sees Balki waving frantically
with the tissue. Larry takes the tissue and tickles Jenniferís nose with
it, causing her to roll back over and release Balki.
then mouths, "Give me the ring," and holds his hand out. Balki
holds up his pinky finger and mouths, "This?" He then tries to
pull the ring from his pinky but itís stuck. Balki braces himself and
tries again, but it wonít budge. Larry motions for Balki to give him his
hand. Balki reaches across the bed and Larry takes hold of the ring and
starts to pull hard, causing Balki to grimace in pain. But the ring
wonít come off. Larry then grabs Balkiís pinky and pulls hard, causing
Balki to shout, "Ow!" The noise makes the girls both sit upright
in their beds and Larry and Balki quickly duck down and crawl under the beds to
hide. Jennifer turns on the light and asks, "Mary Anne, what was
that?" Mary Anne still has the sleep mask on and cries out, "I
canít see! Oh God, Iím blind!" "Take off the
mask," Jennifer reminds her, "We go through this every morning!"
Mary Anne takes off the sleep mask. Jennifer looks at her hand and cries,
"My God, my ring is gone! The windowís open. Weíve been
robbed!" Mary Anne lets out a loud scream. Jennifer jumps out
of bed to clasp a hand over Mary Anneís mouth, saying, "Would you be
quiet? They may still be here! Now come on, letís check."
Mary Anne gets out of bed and follows
Jennifer to the bedroom door where an umbrella stand holds two umbrellas.
Jennifer grabs the blue one and motions how they can attack someone with it,
then hands it to Mary Anne. "I want the pink one," Mary Anne
says. Jennifer looks at her in
disbelief, then grabs the pink umbrella and hands it to her. "Letís
check," Jennifer says, and they leave the bedroom. As soon as
theyíre gone, Larry whispers, "Come on!" and he crawls out from
beneath Mary Anneís bed. Balki is crawling out from underneath
Jenniferís bed and Larry stops to help him up. They fall back upon the
bed for a moment then get up and run to the window. Larry starts out the
window but Balki stops and picks up a doll, saying, "Hello!"
"Put down the doll and letís get outta here!" Larry growls, grabbing
the flashlights and shoving Balki through the window. Larry starts to
crawl out himself over top of Balki when the girls run back into the bedroom and
see them both wedged in an awkward position halfway out. "Larry!
Balki! What are you doing?" Jennifer asks. "We heard Mary
Anne scream and we came right up," Larry explains, "Is everything
okay?" Larry and Balki shine their flashlights around but Jennifer
and Mary Anne look skeptical.
days later, Jennifer and Larry are sitting on the couch with Balki and Mary Anne
sitting on the arms. Larry is slipping a new ring on Jenniferís finger.
"Itís taken me a few tries but this is the engagement ring you can
keep," Larry says, "Itís smaller than the others . . . "
"Oh Larry, I love this ring," Jennifer assures him, "The other
diamond was too big. It wasnít my style." "Well, Iím
glad you like it," Larry smiles. "And Iím glad you could buy
your car back," Jennifer says. "Cousin Larry got a really great
deal," Balki explains, "He was able to buy it back for only two
hundred dollars more than he sold it for." "Boy, Larry, doing
things the hard way sure comes easy to you," Mary Anne notes.
"Well, I meant well," Larry explains, "I . . . I just wanted you
to have the best." "I have the best," Jennifer assures him,
"I have you." Larry and Jennifer kiss and then hug and the
The shooting script
dated October 23, 1990 contains a few slight differences from the episode which
to this script, there was a scene at the beginning of the show which had already
been omitted. It would be interesting to know if this scene showed Larry
actually buying the ring or talking about it beforehand.
- Originally, Larry's
line was reversed and he was to say, "I got twice the ring at half the
price because I was smart enough to buy it from a discount jeweler."
Balki then says, "It's very nice, Cousin, but I thought the smaller one was
- Balki does not refer
to Harrison Dunne as "The Diamond King" in this version.
- After Larry says he
wants everything to be perfect, Balki assures him, "Well don't you worry
about that, Cousin." Then when Balki interrupts Larry he says,
"Wait, wait, Cousin. It's not perfect yet." As Balki gets
the candles, Larry asks, "Balki, what are you doing?"
"Cousin, this is going to be so romantic." When Larry tries to
start again, Balki says, "Just a minute. Still not perfect."
Balki then turns on the music.
- As Larry is showing
Jennifer and Mary Anne the "date" on the plate, Jennifer says, "I
don't see any date." Then Mary Anne says, "But there's a piece
of dried tonsil you missed."
- After Larry drops
the plate he says, "Oh, God. I'm afraid to look. Tell me it
- After Balki gives
them the bowser bag of Moolinki loaf, he adds, "Remember, you never outgrow
your need for tonsils."
- After Larry says,
"You see, nothing. If this were a real diamond, there would be a hole
right there," and taps the glass, making the circular piece fall out, Balki
says, "You mean like that?"
- At the start of act
two, Larry was supposed to grab Balki by the neck immediately and start shaking
him when he asks, "What did you do?"
- After Larry says
that they need to break into the girls' bedroom to get the ring back, the scene
originally went on much longer. Balki protests, saying, "No way,
rose. Cousin, first, you bought a ring from a man who is now in jail for
selling fake diamonds. Then, you tried to trick Jennifer again by
switching the ring instead of just telling her the truth. And now you're
suggesting we become cat burglars. Cousin, enough is too much."
"You're right, Balki," Larry agrees. "What?" Balki
asks, surprised. "You're absolutely right," Larry repeats.
"I am?" Balki asks. "Yes. We don't need to get the
ring back." "We don't?" Balki asks. "No,"
Larry insists, "Of course that means Jennifer will find out what a jerk I
am and she'll never want to see me again." "You're right
there," Balki agrees. "All my dreams of growing old with the
most wonderful woman in the world will be, well, just that, dreams.
Unfulfilled dreams. I'll just be a sad, pathetic, lonely, old man living
by myself in a sad, pathetic, lonely, old room. But, statistics show that
single people die sooner than married people, so I won't have long to
suffer." Balki is moved, crying, "Oh, Cousin. I want your
dreams to come true." "Great," Larry says, snapping out of
it quickly, "Then we'll do it. Come on. We've got to get some
- There is also
another scene which was omitted here. We have no idea what it might have
been, unless it was to show Balki and Larry climbing out onto the fire escape
from their apartment.
- After Balki and
Larry shush each other, Larry asks, "Ssshhhh. Do you want to wake up
the girls?" "We can if you want to, Cousin," Balki replies,
"But I think it would be easier to switch the rings if they were still
sleeping." This is when Larry says, "Just open the window."
- A huge portion of
the action is summed up in a very simple set of directions. It reads,
"Larry gently lifts Jennifer's left hand and tries to slip the ring off.
It won't budge. She stirs. He drops her hand. She turns over.
Larry and Balki run to the other side of the bed. Balki kisses Mary Anne
on the nose. Balki starts to kiss her again. Larry pulls him back.
Jennifer puts her hand under her pillow. Balki tickles her nose with a
Kleenex. Balki lifts the edge of the pillow but Larry has trouble getting
the ring off her finger. Balki notices a jar of hand cream on her night
table. Balki almost falls across the bed trying to open the jar, then
opens it. Larry and Balki both get cream on their faces. Larry
plunges Jennifer's finger into the jar. He takes her hand out and begins
to carefully slide the ring off her finger. Suddenly, Jennifer turns over
again and pins Balki in a clinch. Larry tickles Jennifer's nose with a
Kleenex and she turns back over releasing Balki. This time Larry succeeds
in getting the ring off her finger. Balki takes a tissue from her
nightstand and wipes off her finger.
- In this version,
Larry and Balki don't mime talking to each other. Larry says, "Balki,
give me the real ring." "I'm trying to, Cousin, but it's
stuck," Balki explains. Larry whispers hysterically, "Stuck?
Stuck? It can't be stuck . . . give me your finger."
- After Jennifer tells
Mary Anne to, "Take off your mask. We go through this every
morning," Mary Anne says, "Well, that doesn't make it any less
- The script says that
Balki was to pick up a particularly adorable stuffed animal on their way out and
say, "Hello . . . what's your name?" "Balki!" Larry
whispers urgently. "No, that's my name, Cousin," Balki says, and
then asks the animal again, "What's your name?" "Cousin
Larry," Larry answers, "Forget the teddy bear and let's get out of
- The rest of the
script is the same.
The scripts for the TGIF
promos which aired November 2, 1990 were included at the end of this script and
shot after the filming of this episode. You can view the script pages for
these promos below and you can also view these spots on our YouTube
on to the next episode . . .