Perfect Strangers Episode Guide

EPISODE 110 - Grandpa

First Air Date: January 11, 1991
Filming Date: November 21, 1990
Nielsen Rating: 15.1 HH

Co-Producer: Alan Plotkin
Created by: Dale McRaven
Written by: Barry OíBrian & Cheryl Alu
Directed by: Joel Zwick

Cast:
Bronson Pinchot: Balki Bartokomous
Mark Linn-Baker: Larry Appleton
Sam Anderson: Mr. Sam Gorpley

Guest Cast:
John Anderson: Grandpa Beaumont "Buzz" Appleton
George Poulos: George
Brenda Thomson: Sam (Samantha) Morrison
Helen Lambros: Sophia
Marianne Muellerleile: Athena

Dimitri Appearances: Balki is carrying Dimitri under his arm when Larry wakes him up in the middle of the night. Dimitriís photo can still be seen on the bookshelf as well.

Balki-isms:
"All right, Cousin, I have had it up to here with you."
"Well, why donít you just burst my baboon?"

Donít be ridiculous: Said twice in this episode.

Other catchphrases used in this episode:
Balki makes a comment that goes, "Well, something something and call me something," in this case, "Well, feed me peanuts and call me Dumbo!"
"This is America . . . "
"Bye bye, babe."
"Are you out of your mind?"
"Oh my Lord!"

Other running jokes used in this episode:
Larry sniffs at the air
The use of numerous B alliterations
Larry tries to dunk a cookie in his coffee but it breaks before he can eat it
Balki jumps onto the couch when he runs in the front door

Notable Moment: We meet Larryís grandfather, Beaumont "Buzz" Appleton side.

Interesting facts:
-
Joel Zwick was once again in the directorís chair for this episode after leaving the series to work on Full House the previous year.
- John Anderson had an unbelievably extensive career in film and television, appearing in a huge number of classic shows dating back to the 1950's. Among his many parts included roles in The Phil Silvers Show, Sea Hunt, Peter Gunn, The Rough Riders, Have Gun - Will Travel, Wanted: Dead or Alive, Bat Masterson, Alfred Hitchcock Presents, Route 66, The Rifleman, Perry Mason, The Untouchables, The Twilight Zone, My Favorite Martian, Ben Casey, The Fugitive, Rawhide, The Big Valley, Lassie, The Rat Patrol, Bonanza, The Virginian, Hawaii Five-O, Gunsmoke, Kung Fu, The Bob Newhart Show, Emergency!, Barnaby Jones, Little House on the Prairie, The Rockford Files, Lou Grant, The Incredible Hulk, The Jeffersons, Hart to Hart, Silver Spoons, M*A*S*H, Matt Houston and Murder, She Wrote.  He also had recurring roles on Dallas and MacGyver and appeared in the classic Hitchcock thriller, Psycho.  An interesting footnote to his career was the fact that in his first appearance on Gunsmoke he did a fight scene with James Arness and this particular scene was used for many years in editing schools to teach the basics of putting a scene together, so generations became very familiar with his appearance in this episode (including yours truly!)  Sadly, John Anderson passed away in 1992, only two years after making this  episode.
grandpagrab05.jpg (55305 bytes)- At the beginning of the second act is a unique combination of two running gags, when Larry is seen sitting on the couch dunking a cookie into his coffee and Balki runs in and jumps onto the couch, causing the cookie to break off before Larry can eat it!
- Balki hands Grandpa a Porky Pig cup in an obvious bit of Warner Bros. product placement.
- The exterior of the restaurant shows a neon sign which says "The White Orchid."  Balki refers to the restaurant as "Georgeís," referring to the owner as opposed to the name of the place.  Weíre not sure if this was a real restaurant and whether or not it still exists or where it was located.

- This is the second episode which features the wonderful Marianne Muellerleile, who would later go on to appear with Bronson in his series The Trouble with Larry.  For more information about this versatile actress, check the information we have on her in the outline for
Can I Get a Witness?
- This episode marks the first time that additional video footage would be shown under the end credits.  In this instance, Mark and Bronson are seen performing a Greek dance which evolves into the Dance of Joy.  Video would be seen under future end credits, usually including either outtakes from the episode or a funny spot filmed just for the end.


Synopsis:
The episode begins in the apartment where Larry and Balki are making preparations for company.  Larry places a blanket on the back of a chair by the fireplace and crosses the living room toward the kitchen, where Balki is wiping a plate.  "Well, looks like weíre all set for Grandpaís visit," Larry says, then he stops at the counter and sniffs at the air, asking, "Whatís that smell?"  "Oh, those are my hot and spicy goat lips," Balki smiles.  "You made goat lips?" Larry asks worriedly.  "Well, of course I did.  Donít be ridiculous," Balki says, "Theyíre the traditional Myposian grandparent welcoming dish."  A timer dings and Balki jumps, then moves to the oven and says, "Oh . . . donít want them to get too crispy."  Balki pulls a pan from the oven and sets it on the counter.  "And Cousin, I thought after dinner weíd take him to the Lithuanian Circus.  Itís audience participation night.  How is Grandpapa Appleton on the high wire?"

Balki removes the foil from the pan as Larry says, "All right, hold your Lithuanian horses."  Balki starts taking the hot lips from the pan and counting them as he places each one on the plate.  "One diggy hot lips . . . two diggy hot lips . . . three diggy hot lips . . . four diggy hot lips . . . "  Balki makes the lips "kiss" at Larry and continues to count them out, " . . . five diggy hot lips . . . six diggy hot lips . . . seven diggy hot lips . . . "  "Balki," Larry interrupts.  "You made me lose count!" Balki cries.  Larry takes the last lips from the pan and sets them on the plate, saying, "Eight diggy hot lips.  Balki, circuses and hot diggy goat lips are gonna be too much for Grandpa.  W . . . weíre talking about a seventy-six year old widower who doesnít get around so well any more.  Heís a quiet, frail, old gentleman and we have to treat him carefully."  Balki sighs.  There is a knock at the door.  "That must be him now," Larry guesses, and he crosses to the front door with Balki to open it.

An elderly man steps inside and shouts, "Hiya, Larry!" with great enthusiasm as he sets down his bag inside the door.  Larry is surprised and asks, "Grandpa?"  Grandpa Appleton lifts Larry in a hug and sets him down on the other side, laughing.  He turns and says, "You must be Balki."  "Well, yes I am," Balki confirms as Grandpa picks him up and sets him down next to Larry, making Balki stagger off-balance for a moment.  "Welcome to our home, Grandpapa Appleton," Balki welcomes him.  "Thank you, Balki," Grandpa says, slapping Balkiís arm and knocking him back against Larry, "But itís not Grandpa any more, itís Buzz."  "W . . . well . . . well, l . . . letís sit down," Larry suggests as he closes the front door and motions to the couch.  As they move to sit on the couch, Larry says, "Well, gee . . . itís great to see ya, Grandpa."  "Well, itís good to see you, Larry," Grandpa replies, "uh . . . and itís Buzz."  "Buzz," Larry corrects, "W . . . whatís happened?  I . . . I . . . I hardly recognize you."

"Well, I dropped fifteen pounds and got a new wardrobe," Grandpa explains, then he lifts his foot onto the coffee table to show off his sneakers, "How do you like these B-ball shoes with the slam dunk pump?"  "Bodacious, Buzz," Balki answers.  Grandpa sniffs at the air the way Larry does and asks, "Whatís that delicious smell?"  "Well, those are my Myposian goat lips but Cousin Larry say that . . . that theyíre too spicy for you, Buzz," Balki explains.  "You know, I always say, Balki, thereís no such thing as too rich, too thin or too spicy," Grandpa winks.  "And I always say thereís no such thing as too happy, too friendly or too many pigs in your house," Balki adds, "But thatís not putting lips in your stomach.  Let me get you some."  Balki gets the plate from the counter and brings it over to Grandpa, who politely pushes it away.  "You know what Iíd really like, Balki, is some of that famous deep dish Chicago pizza," Grandpa says, "Oh, and uh . . . maybe we can catch that Lithuanian Circus.  I hear itís in town."  "Well, feed me peanuts and call me Dumbo!" Balki exclaims, "Thatís a brilliant idea!  Uh . . . isnít it, Cousin?"  "Well, Grandpa . . . w . . . whatís happened to you?" Larry asks, "You never acted like this before."

"Iíve never been this old before!" Grandpa answers, then he moves closer to Larry and explains, "Larry, I realized that the few years I have left are precious and I donít wanna waste Ďem.  I wanna meet some new people, you know?  And, uh . . . have some new experiences.  Went on a cruise.  Had a terrific time.  Even made a new friend . . . Sam.  We had so much fun we decided to get together again.  Sam lives in Chicago, so . . . here I am!"  Grandpa gets up and moves to get his luggage.  "Well, I . . . Iím . . . Iím glad to see youíre enjoying yourself," Larry says, "I, uh . . . but I just think, you know, someone your age should, you know, take things a little slower."  "Larry, when you only got half the time you gotta go twice as fast," Grandpa explains as he picks up his bags and asks, "Where do I bunk?"  "Well, youíre using my room," Larry explains, "It . . . itís straight down the hall."  Grandpa carries his luggage into Larryís room as Balki and Larry watch.  They slowly turn around and Balki notes, "Well, Cousin, Grandpapa Appleton is exactly the way you described him.  Except for the . . . the clothes . . . and the, uh . . . shoes . . . and, uh . . . the way you described him.  I guess we wonít be needing the hot water bottle and the prune juice you bought."  "Well, we can return the hot water bottle," Larry says.  "Oh, okay," Balki says.  "But the prune juice is for me," Larry adds, looking uncomfortable.

The next day, Larry enters the apartment looking completely exhausted.  Grandpa run past him, followed by Balki.  They land on the couch and Balki tickles Grandpaís stomach and they laugh heartily.  Larry sits on the arm of the couch, looking miserable.  "Ah, what a day, what a day, what a day!" Grandpa sighs, "Didnít I tell ya you guys would have a great time?"  "Yeah," Balki laughs.  "I love that wild log ride," Grandpa continues, "Just like ridiní the rapids!"  "Didnít I tell you it would be more fun standing up?" Balki asks.  Balki and Grandpa laugh again then Grandpa checks his watch.  "Oh!  Oh!  Itís almost six oíclock," he notes, "Samíll be here any minute.  I gotta pump up my shoes."  Grandpa nudges Balki too hard, knocking him back into Larry who falls off the arm of the couch onto the floor.  Grandpa gets up and runs to Larryís room to get ready, closing the front door on the way.  Larry gets up from the floor and moans, as he sits down on the couch, "Balki, what am I gonna do with him?  Heís my grandfather, heís acting like a teenager and youíre not helping."  Balki looks shocked and then says, "All right, Cousin, I have had it up to here with you."  He indicates a level below his knee.

Balki continues, "There is absolutely nothing wrong with a person acting as young as they feel.  On Mypos, we always treat the young as if theyíre old so that theyíll gain wisdom, and we treat the old as if theyíre young so that theyíll gain vitality."  "Yeah, well, you also treat your pigs to dinner and a movie so youíll gain acceptance from your livestock," Larry points out.  "Well, that is only during the harvest season and I donít see what that has to do with with Buzz," Balki says, standing up in frustration.  "Balki . . . sit down," Larry orders.  Balki sits again.  "This is America," Larry begins, "Things are a little different.  People know their age and they act their age.  Thatís how they know what to charge at the movies."  "Well, I donít think my best bud, Buzz, appreciates being put in a box!" Balki argues.  "Oh, he is not your best bud, Buzz," Larry counters.  "Oh, I beg to differ!" Balki argues, "Excuse me, I beg to butt in. I beg to butt in."  "No, heís not," Larry insists, "No, he is not your best bud, Buzz."  "Excuse me!  Excuse me!"  "Look, no . . . heís my . . . "  "Buzz is my bosom buddy, booby!"  "Look!  Look, Balki . . . Balki . . . donít give that Ďbest bud Buzz business,í Balki.  He is my grandfather, Iíll deal with him."  They sit brooding for a moment, then Balki says, "This is because you got wet, isnít it?"  Larry seethes.  "I told you not to sit in front of the log," Balki sighs.  They both cross their arms and look angry.

There is a knock at the door.  "Get the door," Balki says.  "You get it," Larry snaps.  "Weíll both get it," Balki says with cool anger.  They both stand up.  "But you go first," Balki insists.  Larry passes Balki, then stops and says nicely, "Itís probably Grandpaís friend."  "Oh!" Balki smiles, and they walk to the door, no longer angry.  "You know," Larry says, "Hanging around with some old guy his own age might settle him down."  Larry opens the door to reveal a woman older than them but much younger than Grandpa.  "Hi, Iím Sam Morrison," she says.  Larry and Balki eye her in shock.  "Is Buzz here?" she asks.  "Youíre Sam?" Larry asks in disbelief.  The woman laughs and replies, "Yeah . . . Samantha."  "Well, come . . . come on in," Balki offers, leading her into the apartment, "Come on in. Uh . . . uh . . . Buzz told us all about you, except that you were young and a woman." Grandpa runs out of the bedroom and exclaims, "Sam!"  "Buzzy!" Sam replies, and they hug each other and laugh.  "Goodnight, guys," Grandpa says, "Sam and I are goiní out and paint the town.  Donít wait up."  Buzz and Sam leave, laughing and whooping it up.  Larry is flabbergasted and cries, "Well, she is younger than my own mother!  What can he be thinking?"  Balki hesitates, then replies, "Well, uh . . . Cousin, Iím just a simple Mypiot boy but . . . even I know what heís thinking."

Late that night, Larry is standing in the living room in his bathrobe looking very upset as he watches the front door.  Larry starts for Balkiís bedroom door, then changes direction and opens the closet door, taking out one of his golf clubs.  He turns and pounds on Balkiís door with the club several times, then throws the club back in the closet and closes it.  Larry waits and after a moment Balki comes out of his bedroom, wearing his pajamas and holding Dimitri.  He eyes Larry angrily.  "You couldnít sleep either?" Larry asks.  Balki motions as if he would like to strangle Larry but Larry moves away.  "Balki, I am worried about Grandpa," Larry explains.  "Cousin, Buzz distinctly told you not to wait up," Balki yawns.  He sees the pillow and blanket laying on the couch and falls over the back of it to lay down, facing the back of the couch.  Larry starts to sit on the couch, saying, "Balki, it is two-thirty in the morning."  Larry sits on Balki, who moans sleepily, "Ow!"  Larry sits on the end of the couch in front of Balkiís legs and asks, "Where could he be?"  Balki starts to snore in a Popeye fashion.  Larry eyes him with frustration and then pinches Balkiís back, causing Balki to scream and sit up.

"Where could he be?" Larry repeats.  Balki rolls over and sighs, "Well, Cousin . . . Buzz and Sam probably had a nice, romantic dinner . . . a little wine, a moonlight walk by the lake . . . and before they knew it one thing led to another and well . . . "  Balki shrugs and Larry looks concerned.  " . . . they . . . they found themselves playing Donkey Kong at the all-night video arcade," Balki finishes.  The front door open and Grandpa enters, looking dejected.  Larry jumps up and immediately confronts him.  "Well, where have you been?  Do you have any idea what time it is?  Iíve been worried sick!"  "I donít wanna talk about it," Grandpa sighs.  "Well, you are just gonna have to talk about it, Mister!" Larry scolds.  Balki gets up and walks to Grandpa, asking, "Buzz, didnít you have fun?"  "Oh yeah, we had a great evening," Grandpa answers, "We dined, we danced . . . then she dumped me."  Larry steps forward and says sincerely, "I . . . I . . . Iím . . . Iím sorry, Grandpa."  "She said all we had was a shipboard romance," Grandpa sighs, "She said on dry land she didnít feel the earth move any more.  She said, ĎBuzz off, Buzz!í"  Grandpa sits down on the chair by the fireplace.

"Well," Larry sighs, "Well, Grandpa, I . . . I know how ya feel.  Iíve been dumped a few times myself.  Actually forty-four."  Balki counts in his head and says, "Forty-five."  "Well, maybe everythingís worked out for the best," Larry suggests.  "You think so?" Grandpa asks.  "I know so," Larry confirms, "I mean the important thing is you have your health, you have a family that loves you.  Women half your age, nights on the town, thatís . . . thatís for the young and the foolish."  "Yeah, youíre right, Larry," Grandpa sighs, looking much older now, "Thereís no fool like an old fool."  Grandpa reaches into his breast pocket and takes out his glasses, putting them on, "Iíve been trying to be something Iím not . . . young."  Larry lifts the blanket from the back of the chair and puts it around Grandpaís shoulders.  Grandpa gets up and dodders to Larryís bedroom, sighing, "Goodnight, boys."  Larry and Balki watch him go, then slowly turn around.  "Well, I think that went pretty well," Larry smiles.  "Yeah, Cousin," Balki says sarcastically, "You aged him more in sixty seconds than Mama Nature did in seventy-six years!"  On Larryís satisfied and Balkiís frustrated expressions the scene fades to black.

Act two begins with Larry sitting on the couch dunking a cookie into his coffee.  It looks as if he is finally going to get to eat it, when Balki runs in the front door and jumps onto the couch roughly, causing the cookie to break off and fall into the coffee.  "Cousin, itís a beautiful day!  Iíve been thinking . . . this is a perfect opportunity to do something to help Grandpapa Buzz.  Now we could take him down to the lake . . . heíd be basking in the sunshine, breathing in the fresh air and in no time at all heíll be . . . "  "In the hospital with pneumonia," Larry finishes.  "Well, why donít you just burst my baboon?" Balki asks, "Cousin, we have to do something to get Buzz back."  "Balki, there is no ĎBuzz,í" Larry insists, "Thereís just Beaumont Appleton, my grandfather, and there is nothing wrong with an elderly man acting like an elderly man."  Grandpa walks out of Larryís bedroom wearing a bathrobe and moving slowly.  Balki gets up and walks to him.  "Oh . . . Grandpapa Buzz, Iíve got a terrific idea.  Why donít we all go down to the lake.  We can have a nice picnic.  Iíve got tons of leftover goat lips.  Theyíre great cold."  "No.  No, no, no, no picnic for me, Balki," Grandpa says, "You boys go right ahead.  I . . . Iíll just stay here and have some weak tea."

"Okay, Iíll . . . Iíll . . . Iíll make it for you," Balki offers, and he goes to the kitchen.  "Thatís right, Grandpa," Larry encourages, getting up from the couch, "Weíll just stay here and . . . and play checkers like we used to."  "Checkers?" Grandpa asks, "Yeah, checkers.  Thatís nice.  Maybe later after my nap."  Balki hands Grandpa a Porky Pig cup with hot water in it and holds up the tea bag.  "Just say when," Balki says, and he dips the tea bag into the cup.  "When," Grandpa says almost immediately and Balki takes the bag back out.  "Oh, I almost forgot . . . you do that a lot at my age," Grandpa says, reaching into his pocket for some papers which he hands to Larry, "This is for you, Larry.  Copy of my will.  Keep it handy, just in case."  Grandpa slowly walks back to Larryís room.  "Well, I hope youíre happy," Balki scolds Larry, "You took the Ďgrandí out of Ďgrandpapaí and you put the Ďoldí back into Ďold man.í"  "Balki, Grandpa is fine," Larry assures him, "Heís just using the wisdom of his years and planning ahead."

Grandpa walks out of the bedroom carrying a suit and calls, "L . . . Larry?  Larry?  Do you have a plastic bag for my suit?  I want to keep it clean.  Itís the one Iím gonna be buried in."  "W . . . well, Grandpa," Larry sighs, walking to him, " . . . youíre being foolish."  "Well, maybe youíre right," Grandpa says, "No sense wrapping it in plastic.  Maybe Iíll just put the thing on and wait it out."  Balki hurries over from the kitchen to stop him, "No, no . . . now Grand . . . Grandpapa Appleton, no . . . now listen.  Thatís ridiculous.  By . . . by the time youíre ready to go this suit will be hopelessly out of style."  "Grandpa, when I told you to act your age I didnít mean for you to lie down and wait to die," Larry says.  "No, no, you were right, Larry," Grandpa sighs, "I thought about what you said.  An old man should act his age and I was acting like an old fool.  Iíd still be doing it if we hadnít had that little talk."  Grandpa starts toward the bedroom but Balki stops him again.

"Uh, listen, Grandpapa Buzz, come on now.  You . . . you . . . you just act as young as you feel."  "Okay," Grandpa says, "I feel a hundred and six.  Now can I lie down?"  Grandpa goes back to Larryís room.  "Balki, what have I done?" Larry asks, "This is awful!  You gotta help me get Grandpa back to his old self."  "Okay, I know just what Grandpapa needs!" Balki says, "He needs to drink from the cup of vitality, he needs to eat from the fruit bowl of life, he needs to floss with the string of hope!"  "How do we do that?" Larry asks.  "Simple . . . we take him to Yeorgoís," Balki answers, "The food is great and youíre gonna love the band.  Now, you have to do exactly as I tell you.  Stand on one foot."  Larry stands on one foot.  "And cluck like a chicken."  Larry starts clucking like a chicken then says, "I donít see how this is gonna help Grandpa."  "It isnít," Balki admits, "I just like seeing you do it."  Balki stats to run away from Larry.

At the restaurant, which is a Greek restaurant designed to look as if it is outdoors, Balki pulls Larry in quickly and hold his hands out as if to say, "Ta da!"  "Well, youíre sure this is gonna work?" Larry asks.  "Cousin, Iím sure," Balki insists, "Just trust me."  Grandpa enters slowly and catches up with them.  "Sorry it took me so long," he says, "That curb was a lot higher than it looked."  A man enters, directing several people to a table.  "Yeorgo!" Balki called.  The man, whose name is George, greets Balki in Greek and gives him a hug, swinging him around and cheering, "Opa!"  He pinches Balkiís cheeks and speaks more Greek to him.  Balki turns and introduces "Cousin Larry" in Greek.  George hugs Larry and swings him around, greeting him and saying, "Opa!  Opa!  Opa!" as he moves his head back and forth over Larryís shoulders.  "Yeorgo . . . Yeorgo . . . Yeorgo, okay, okay," Balki stops him, then he introduces "Pappous Buzz."  George is about to hug him when Grandpa holds his hand out instead.  George politely shakes his hand with enthusiasm.

"Yeorgo . . . Yeorgo . . . okay," Balki says, and motions for him to get things ready for them.  George excuses himself and hurries off.  "Balki, is this a Myposian restaurant?" Larry asks.  "Well, of course not. Donít be ridiculous," Balki scoffs, "Itís a Greek restaurant.  If it were a Myposian restaurant thereíd be a pig check girl."  George returns with two waiters, Theo and Nico, who rush out to greet Balki enthusiastically.  They pick up Balki and swing him to the other side of them in turn, shouting, "Opa!"  Balki falls back across the lap of an excited overweight woman named Athena who giggles and laughs as she holds him, crying out, "Oh, youíre so cute!"  Theo and Nico do the same thing to Larry and Grandpa.  "Athena!  Athena!" Balki cries out, "Let me go, babe."  Athena lets Balki get up. Balki then called, "Yeorgo!"  George and the waiters rush over and then hurry then forward to an empty table, making sure they are seated.  The waiters wheel over a cart of appetizers such as kalamara and pita bread which they put on the table as George speaks very quickly in Greek to them.  "Yeorgo . . . Yeorgo . . . okay, okay," Balki says as they start to leave, "Bye bye, babe."

"Well, hey, Grandpa, isnít this place fun?" Larry asks, "Huh?  Donít you feel alive?"  "Donít you feel a draft?" Grandpa asks in return.  Balki picks up one of the plates of appetizers and holds it out, saying, "Grandpapa, why donít you try some of this?  Itíll make your taste buds dance."  "Oh no thanks, Balki," Grandpa sighs, "I donít want to risk staining my . . . my burial suit."  "Here, here . . . come on, Grandpa," Larry encourages, "Come on, weíll both try Ďem.  It looks delicious, huh?  Itíll be a . . . a new experience.  Here."  Larry takes a bite out of one of the appetizers, humming, "Mmm . . . mmm . . . mmm . . . "  A moment later he reacts to the spiciness, gasping for breath.  "Balki, are you trying to burn a hole in his stomach?" Larry cries, "A man his age canít eat that stuff.  A man my age canít eat that stuff!"  But Grandpa has already taken a bite and says, "Hm, not too bad.  Sure clears the sinuses."  Balki motions for one of the musicians to come over to their table.  A man with a bouzouki steps behind Larry and Grandpa and starts strumming, startling both Larry and Grandpa so that they toss their napkins in the air.

The man starts playing with the band accompanying him, and everyone in the restaurant claps along with the music.  "Balki, I . . . I think we need to switch tables," Larry says, "The . . . the music is too much for Grandpa."  "No, Cousin," Balki tries to stop him, but Larry turns to Grandpa and begins, "Grandpa, I think . . . I think weíd better . . . "  Balki takes one of the appetizers and stuffs it into Larryís mouth.  Larry reacts as if his mouth is on fire, but there is no water on the table, so he runs to Athenaís table and reaches for some water, but she grabs him and pulls him down across her lap, laughing with delight.  George and the waiters start to lead a line of Greek dancing across the dining room, with patrons getting up to join in.  The waiter at the end of line reaches out for Balki to join in, and Balki in turn gets up and tries to encourage Grandpa to come along.  "Come on, Grandpa!" he calls, tapping the manís shoulder.  "Oh no no," Grandpa tries to argue, but Balki pulls him up out of the chair and says, "Come on, Grandpa!  Letís face the music and dance!"  They join the line of dancers.

Larry escapes from Athena and calls after them, "Balki!  I . . . I donít think we should do this.  The floor is very slippery.  We donít know these people!"  The line has disappeared around the corner and Larry chases after them.  The line reappears through another doorway and comes back through the dining room.  A woman has joined the line between Balki and Grandpa.  "Grandpapa, look!  What a surprise!" Balki says, "Itís Sophia!"  "Well, nice to meet ya," Grandpa smiles.  "Oh, you too young to be Grandpa!" Sophia says, "I just call you Buzz."  Larry grabs Balki and pulls him away from the line as Balki continues to dance.  Balki grabs Larry be the shoulders and bounces up and down with him, trying to get him to join in, but Larry wonít cooperate.  Larry finally grabs Balki and asks, "Balki!  Balki, what is the matter with you?  Are you out of your mind?  Spicy food, loud music, dancing?  He could have a heart attack!  Now I donít want to be known as the one in the family who killed Grandpa."  "Well, Cousin, youíre halfway there.  Youíre the one who got him in his burial suit," Balki points out.

George stops near them holding a plate then spins, smashing it on the floor and shouting, "Opa!"  "Now you see?" Larry asks, "Thatís how accidents happen."  Grandpa stops as he passes and shouts, "Opa!" as he also smashes a plate on the floor as well.  "Oh my Lord," Larry gasps, "Heís lost control of his motor skills.  Now Iím gonna get him out of here before he gets hurt!"  Balki grabs Larry and cries, "Oh Cousin, calm down, would you please?  Look at him!  Heís having fun!"  They watch Grandpa dance by on the end of the line with Sophia.  "Well, I . . . I guess I could let him finish the dance," Larry says, starting to warm up to the situation.  As the line dances past them again, Larry says, "It sure looked like theyíre having a lot of fun."  Balki reaches over to a table and picks up a plate.  "Cousin, uh . . . Grandpapa Buzz seems to feel young again.  How Ďbout you?"

Grandpa comes between them and grabs the plate, shouting, "Like this, Larry!"  He smashes the plate to the floor and laughs as he runs off.  "Thanks, Grandpa!" Larry calls after him.  The line of people continues to dance around the restaurant.  "Well, Balki, it looks like Buzz is back," Larry smiles, "Thank you."  "Cousin, you could have fun like that, too," Balki points out.  "Oh no, I couldnít," Larry scoffs.  "Yes, you could," Balki says, taking another plate from the table, saying, "Excuse me.  Look, just like this!"  Balki smashes the plate on the floor, shouting, "Opa!"  The line stops dancing and stands, clapping to the music as Larry reaches over and takes a plate from the table.  "Oh . . . oh . . . well . . . Opa!"  Larry throws the plate to the ground where it lands with a thunk without breaking.  The music stops and everyone stares at the unbroken plate as the episode ends.  Over the end credits, Larry and Balki perform a Greek dance which eventually turns into the Dance of Joy.


Script Variations:
There were a few minor differences between the shooting script dated November 20, 1990 and the final episode:
After Grandpa suggests they go to the Lithuanian Circus, Balki says, "That's a brilliant idea.  I wish I'd thought of it."
- When Balki and Grandpa run into the apartment laughing and playing, they were actually to be playing Boochi Tag.
- After Grandpa says, "I love that Wild Log Ride," he adds, "I think next spring I'll go on up to Oregon and be a lumberjack."  Balki then says, "You really know how to party hearty, Buzz."
- In this version of the script Balki says that on Mypos they treat the old as if they were young but he says nothing about treating the young as if they are old.
- After Larry tells Balki "Don't give me this 'best bud Buzz' business," Balki responds with, "I'll give you best bud Buzz."  Larry responds by saying, "Balki, your best bud Buzz is not Buzz.  Buzz is my grandfather.  I'll deal with him."
- None of the direction about Balki laying down and then falling asleep on the couch is in the script.
- After Buzz comes in looking depressed, Balki asks, "Buzz, are you okay?" instead of "Buzz, didn't you have fun?"  When Grandpa says, "We dined, we danced, then she dumped me," Balki replies, "Buzz, you lucky dog."  "What?" Grandpa asks.  "Balki, she left him," Larry has to explain.
- At the start of Act Two, Larry is sitting at the coffee table paying bills.  There is nothing about him dunking a cookie in his coffee and Balki jumping onto the couch.
- After Grandpa gives Larry his will and goes back to his room, Balki says, "Well, Cousin, I hope you're happy now.  You put the 'old' back in the old man."  "There's nothing wrong with a person updating their will," Larry argues, "I do it every four months myself."  "Well, that's a problem for another day," Balki sighs.
- After Grandpa comes back in and asks Larry if he has a plastic bag for his burial suit, Balki says to Larry, "Cousin, I believe the ball's in the People's Court."
- Before Balki tells Larry to stand on one foot and cluck like a chicken, he doesn't say anything about taking Grandpa to a restaurant.  Larry asks, "And this is going to help Grandpa?" before Balki tells him he just loves to see him do it.
- The script says that George greets Balki in Greek and says, "Welcome, Balki, good to see you."  Balki replies in Greek with, "Good to see you, too, George."
- While Athena is hugging Balki, he somehow was to tell Larry, So far so good, Cousin."
- After seating them, George was to say in Greek, "Sit.  Enjoy your meal," and then to Balki, "Don't worry, Balki, everything is just the way you want it."
- After asking Grandpa is the place is fun, Larry adds, "Don't you feel better?  Don't you feel younger?  Don't you feel alive?"  Grandpa then asks, "Don't you feel a draft?"  Larry turns to Balki and says worriedly, "Balki, it's not working."  "Cousin, haste makes paste," Balki says, then he offers Grandpa the appetizer.
- After Larry tries the spicy food the first time he was to run to another table and grab a glass of water from a customer's hand and gulps it down.  It's after he does this that he returns to the table and yells at Balki, "Are you trying to burn a hole in his stomach?"
- After the plate Larry throws down doesn't break, he says, "Maybe I'd be better at the dancing part."  Balki takes Larry onto the dance floor and begins to teach him a Greek dance which ends in the Dance of Joy (this is what was shown under the end credits.)

Continue on to the next episode . . .