Strangers Episode Guide
129 - Wild Turkey
First Air Date: November 22, 1991
Filming Date: September 27, 1991
Nielsen Rating: 13.2 HH
Description: Thanksgiving at the cousins' means a gaggle of 58 gobbling
turkeys, a lost diamond wedding ring, and a visit to the neighbors in hopes of
retrieving the ring from a cooked turkey.
Produced by: Alan Plotkin
Created by: Dale McRaven
Written by: Tom Devanney
Directed by: Judy Pioli
Bronson Pinchot: Balki Bartokomous
Mark Linn-Baker: Larry Appleton
Rebeca Arthur: Mary Anne Spencer
Melanie Wilson: Jennifer Appleton
James Staley: Mr. Howard Johnson
Julie Payne: Mrs. Marion Johnson
Glen Vernon: Grandpa Johnson
Brandi Chrisman: Joanie Johnson
Adam Hendershott: Richie Johnson
Dimitri Appearances: Dimitri is not seen
in this episode.
"Oh, I guess itís true what they
say . . . birds with no feathers do flock together."
"Well, if theyíre infested we
cannot let them up on the furniture."
Donít be ridiculous:
Not said in this
Other catchphrases used in this episode:
"I have . . . " "Oh
God!" " . . . a plan!"
"Hi!" said simultaneously
Other running jokes used in this episode:
Jennifer grabs Larry by the shirt
Larry grabs Balki by the shirt
Larry grabs Balki by the ear and pulls
Balki hugs someone to greet them
Larry does his shmuck laugh
Larry slaps the back of Balkiís head
The night this episode aired, Bronson and Mark were on hand to host
another set of TGIF introductions for the shows Family Matters, Step by Step,
Baby Talk and this Thanksgiving-themed episode. You can view these
spots on our YouTube
- The name of the episode could have
derived from a couple of origins. First, there really is an North American wild
turkey. But there is also a brand of bourbon called Wild Turkey.
- No turkeys were actually used during the
filming of this episode in front of the studio audience, since that night
Bronson was suffering from early symptoms of the flu (he probably wore himself
raw playing Mama the previous two weeks) and was particularly sensitive to the
dandruff on the live birds, so a teddy bear and imaginary birds were utilized
instead. You can read more about the filming of this episode by visiting our
the Scene . . . section.
- This was the first Thanksgiving themed
episode for the series. They had previously done two Christmas episodes and one
specific Halloween episode.
- The Johnson family members are all named
after the Cunningham family from Happy Days, the mother and father being Howard
and Marion and the two children being named Richie and Joanie. (Apparently Chuck
is still missing.)
- Character actor James Staley played Mr.
Johnson in this episode. He had previously made appearances on the television
shows The Jeffersons, Wonder Woman, Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman, Family, Taxi,
Threeís Company, Eight is Enough, The White Shadow, Benson, Mork & Mindy,
Quincy, M.E., Silver Spoons, Falcon Crest, Mamaís Family, Diffírent Strokes,
Newhart, Punky Brewster, Remington Steele, Simon & Simon, Magnum, P.I., The
Facts of Life, Matlock, Moonlighting, Murphy Brown, The Golden Girls and Picket
Fences, as well as having a regular roles in the series The Waverly
Wonders and Rosebrock. Now mostly retired from acting he does
continue to make appearances in television commercials.
- Julie Payne, who plays Mrs. Johnson, has
also had a long career in television. Her screen credits include appearances in Love,
American Style, The Streets of San Francisco, Sanford and Son, WKRP in
Cincinnati, Taxi, Hart to Hart, Family Ties, E/R, Murphy Brown, L.A. Law, The
Wonder Years, Full House, Picket Fences and Judging Amy. She has done
voice work as well, playing the part of Dr. Liz Wilson in many of the Garfield
specials. Fans of Laverne and Shirley may remember her as Colonel Turner
in the memorable two part episode Weíre in the Army Now. She also had a
recurring roles as Aggie Aylesworth in the Jim Carrey series The Duck Factory,
as Lucille Trumbley in Leo & Liz in Beverly Hills, as Arnoldís
secretary, Peggy, in Beverly Hills 90210 and as Cherylís Mom in Curb Your
- Glen Vernon, who played Grandpa Johnson,
was a long-time stage and film actor. He appeared in such movies as Days of
Glory, Youths Run Wild, Sing Your Way Home, Bedlam, Heart of Virginia, Sands of
Iwo Jima and Breakfast at Tiffanyís. His television credits include
The Fugitive, Perry Mason, Ironside, Quincy, M.E., The Fall Guy, Cheers,
Hunter, Doogie Howser, M.D., L.A. Law, The Golden Girls, Sister, Sister and
Picket Fences. Sadly he passed away in 1999.
- Adam Hendershott, who played the
youngest Johnson, Richie, has continued to act to this day, appearing in the
shows Night Court, Roseanne, Wings, The Nanny, Step by Step, Home
Improvement, Malcom in the Middle, Touched by an Angel, Boston Public, Judging
Amy, Charmed, CSI, Nip/Tuck and Cold Case. He also appeared in an
episode of The Trouble with Larry with Bronson Pinchot, playing an
obnoxious boy who challenged his robot disguise in the episode My Science
Fair Lady. He also had a recurring roles in the series The Faculty,
Veronica Mars and ĎGilmore Girls.í You can visit his official
website by clicking here.
Bloopers and Inconsistencies:
- We understand it was done for
expediency, but itís still funny to see Mary Anne pull a large, frozen turkey
from the *top* of her grocery bag!
- When filming the first scene Bronson had
a terrible time trying to throw the frozen turkey onto the counter without it
rolling off. He didnít manage to get the turkey to stay on the counter until
the fourth try!
The episode begins in the kitchen where
Jennifer is unpacking two bags of groceries. She pulls a frozen turkey from one
of the bags and sets it on the counter in front of her. Mary Anne enters the
kitchen carrying two more bags of groceries and calls, "Hi! Iíve got
everything weíll need for Thanksgiving . . . " She pulls a frozen turkey
out of one bag and sets it on the counter, then realizes there is already a
turkey there. " . . . dinner." "Iíve got everything we need for
Thanksgiving dinner," Jennifer says. Balki then enters through the kitchen
door and announces, "Thanksgiving dinner is as good as cooked!" He
pulls a frozen turkey from the bag and tosses it onto the counter next to the
other two. "Pass the word, Iíve got the bird." Balki looks at the
other turkeys and comments, "Oh, I guess it is true what they say . . .
birds with no feathers do flock together. May I ask why?"
"Well, I assumed that I would cook
dinner this year," Jennifer explains, "Itís my first Thanksgiving as
Larryís wife and I want it to be special." "Iíve made Thanksgiving
dinner every single year since I come to America, so . . . so I just assumed
that . . . that I would . . . I would make it again," Balki says sadly,
"But that . . . thatís okay. How Ďbout . . . how Ďbout Iíll take
Thanksgiving and you take Christmas and Mud Day." "Balki, we donít
celebrate Mud Day in this country," Jennifer points out. "Well, itís
just as well," Balki comments, "Youíd only commercialize it."
"Wait a minute!" Mary Anne jumps in, "I wanted to cook
Thanksgiving dinner so I could prove to a certain someone what a wonderful wife
I would make!" She makes eyes at Balki, waiting for him to pick up on her
hint. "Oh Mary Anne, that is great," Balki smiles, "You invited
someone?" Balki hooks an arm around Mary Anne, who looks stunned.
Larry suddenly runs in through the kitchen
door and closes it behind him. "You are not gonna believe what I just
did!" Larry begins. "You forgot we moved and you went back to the old
apartment again?" Balki asks. "Yeah, I did," Larry admits,
"But before that! I was out at McGregorís Farm and . . . and I was
writing a turkey story, and . . . and . . . " "Now, Cousin, Cousin,
Cousin, you are too hard on yourself," Balki interrupts as he steps over to
Larry, "Now Mr. Wainwright occasionally calls your writing mediocre but he
has never come out and called one of your articles a turkey. Well . . . except
for that one time but you werenít even in the room so, as far as Iím
concerned, it never happened." "I mean, I was writing a story about
turkeys for tomorrowís Thanksgiving edition," Larry explains. "Well,
in that case . . . never mind," Balki says. "Well, anyway, while I was
interviewing Mr. McGregor he told me he was retiring and I could take as many
turkeys as I wanted for half price," Larry continues, "So, having a
keen eye for a quick profit . . . I took Ďem all." "How many is
all?" Jennifer asks. "Fifty-eight," Larry smiles.
"Fifty-eight turkeys?" Jennifer
asks. "Theyíre being unloaded in the back yard right now," Larry
says. Balki gasps excitedly as he and girls run to the window to look outside.
"Oh, Cousin, this is wonderful!" Balki exclaims, "The most pets I
ever had before was seventeen." "No, no, these are not pets,"
Larry insists, "Theyíre an investment." "Well, if theyíre
infested we cannot let them up on the furniture," Balki warns. "Investment," Larry corrects, "Investment."
tomorrow is Thanksgiving," Jennifer reminds him, "How are you gonna
get rid of all these birds and get your . . . I mean our money
back?" "Very simple," Larry replies, "I have . . . "
"Oh God!" the others gasp. " . . . a plan!" Larry finishes,
and he runs into the back yard, returning a moment later with a megaphone.
"Attention last minute shoppers!" Larry says into the megaphone,
"Get your fresh turkeys! Get Ďem while theyíre breathiní!
while theyíre gobbliní! Whack Ďem and sack Ďem!" "Whack Ďem
and sack Ďem?" Jennifer gasps, "Larry, thatís disgusting!"
"If you think thatís disgusting you donít even wanna know what they do
to eggplant on Mud Day," Balki injects.
The next day on Thanksgiving, Jennifer and
Mary Anne are in the kitchen cooking. Jennifer is looking at a recipe card and
says, "Iím following Balkiís recipe for stuffing and it calls for one
pinch of g.p. What does g.p. stand for?" "Probably ground
pepper," Mary Anne suggests. Jennifer gives Mary Anne a look and Mary Anne
understands, saying, "Iíd better ask Balki." She goes to the door
leading to the back yard and opens it, calling outside, "Balki?"
"Yeah?" Balki calls back. "What does g.p. stand for?" Mary
Anne asks. "Goat pancreas," Balki answers, "But I think I used
the last of it on my breakfast cereal." Mary Anne turns to Jennifer and
asks, "Where am I gonna get goat pancreas now?" She doesnít notice
as three live turkeys walk into the kitchen. "Shut the door! Shut the
door!" Larryís voice calls out. Mary Anne closes and locks the door, then
smiles at the turkeys and coos, "Oh, hello turkeys!"
Larry and Balki appear in the window of
the door, trying to get inside. "Unlock the door! Unlock the door!"
Larry calls. "Well, I wish youíd make up your mind!" Mary Anne
complains as she unlocks and opens the door. Larry and Balki run in and start
running around the kitchen after the turkeys, trying to herd them toward the
door. "Come on, come on," Larry urges, "Balki! Balki, get Ďem
out. Get Ďem out. Get Ďem outta here. Come on."
Larry circles one
turkey as it spins around, then finally manages to pick it up. "I got it, I
got it, I got it," Larry assures the girls, "Okay, okay. Iím sorry.
Iím sorry. I got it. All right, weíre leaving. Weíre leaving."
helps get the turkeys through the door and tells Balki, "Take these . . .
take these turkeys outta here. And stop trying to put those little pilgrim hats
on Ďem." "Well, excuse me for getting into the
spirit of the holiday," Balki sighs, "How Ďbout . . . how Ďbout
just them little buckles on their shoes?" "No," Larry insists.
"How Ďbout just little lace bibs?" Balki asks.
repeats, "Get out, get outta here. Take Ďem out." Larry closes the
door then sighs. Jennifer is at the counter and cries, "Whereís my ring?
I . . . I had it right here. Itís gone. Iíve lost my diamond ring."
"W . . . well, donít worry, Jen," Larry says as he walks over to
her, "W . . . weíll find it." Larry, Jennifer and Mary Anne start
looking around on the floor. "Are . . . are you sure it was on the
counter?" Larry asks. "Yes, Larry, Iím sure," Jennifer insists,
"Every time I cook I take off my diamond ring and I put it by the salt and
pepper shakers. Salt, pepper, diamond. Salt, pepper, diamond. Only now itís
salt, pepper, nothing." "No oneís been in here but us and the
turkeys," Mary Anne points out. Jennifer looks at Larry and then grabs him
by the shirt, threatening, "Larry, if one of your stupid birds ate my ring youíll
be the one who gets whacked and sacked!" Larry looks duly terrified.
A little while later, Larry and Balki are
in the kitchen at the table. There is a tool box sitting on the table and Larry
is holding a metal detector, which heís waving over a live turkey that Balki
is holding. The metal detector doesnít make any noise as itís passing over
the turkey. Larry pulls the detector away and inadvertently waves it over the
toolbox. The detector lets out a loud noise. Larry waves it over the toolbox
again, repeating the loud noise. Larry picks up the tool box and moves it to the
counter behind them. As he does this, the detector waves past Balkiís head and
makes the same loud noise. Larry realizes this and ponders it, waving the
detector around Balkiís head again and producing the loud noise again. Balki
looks at Larry in a blank way, but picking up on whatís going on. Larry thinks
about what to do for a moment, then shakes his head and lets it pass without
question and sets the detector aside. "Well, Iím exhausted," Larry
sighs, "Weíve been doing this all night. What a lousy Thanksgiving this
is turning out to be."
shhh," Balki urges,
motioning to the turkey and mouthing the words, "Heíll hear you."
"Balki, I donít believe this," Larry continues, "Weíve
checked every turkey three times. Thereís no metal in any of them."
"Well, maybe the turkey that took it didnít swallow it," Balki
suggests. "What do you mean Ďhe didnít swallow it?í" Larry asks.
"Well, maybe he hid it," Balki continues. "He hid it?" Larry
asks with confusion. "Well, Cousin, eh . . . itís a well-known fact that
turkeys are the practical jokers of the farmyard," Balki explains as he
takes the turkey to the door to put it outside, "And when you consider how
gullible the cows are and the fact that chickens have absolutely no sense of
humor whatsoever, well, you can imagine how kooky things can get." Balki
sets the turkey outside and then calls out, "If any of you find a ring out
there, thereís extra corn in it for you!" Balki closes the door and
returns to Larry and they both stands with their hands on the table, looking
"Balki, one of the turkeys had to
swallow it," Larry states, "Itís the only thing that makes sense.
All right, now . . . Jennifer set the ring down on the counter. Right?"
"Right," Balki confirms. "Mary Anne opened the door, the turkeys
came in. Right?" "Right." "And you took the turkeys back
outside and the ring was gone. Right?" "Right."
havenít sold any turkeys. Right?" Larry asks. Balki doesnít answer.
Instead he looks worried. "And we havenít sold any turkeys. Right?"
Larry repeats. Balki doesnít answer, still looking concerned. "This is
where you are supposed to say ĎRight,í" Larry points out,
"Right?" "Iím sorry, I . . . I wasnít paying attention,"
Balki tries to wheedle out of answering, "Did you ask me a question?"
Larry starts to advance on Balki as Balki backs away. "Turkeys.
sold any turkeys. Right?" Larry asks yet again. Balki leans against the
counter and thinks with a guilty expression, finally answering, "Mmm . . .
more or less." "What do you mean Ďmore or less?í" Larry asks.
"Let me ask you a question,"
Balki begins, "Have . . . have you ever been in a situation where you were
given a job to do and you did that job well but, um . . . you . . . you later
found out that the job you did well was the wrong thing to do even though you
thought it was the right thing to do at the time that you were doing that good
job." "What?" Larry asks, holding back his temper. "Have you
ever been in a situation where . . . where you were given . . . " Balki
begins again. "Balki!" Larry shouts, startling Balki into jumping
back, "What are you talking about?" "Oh, no no!" Balki
cries. "What are you talking about?" Larry cries again as he grabs
Balki by the shirt. "Donít hurt me!" Balki cries. "Iím not
gonna hurt ya," Larry says intensely. "Youíre not gonna hurt
me?" Balki asks nervously. "Iím not gonna . . . no, Iím not gonna
hurt ya . . . " Larry repeats, releasing Balkiís shirt and rubbing Balkiís
chest, "No, of course Iím not gonna hurt ya. Come on. Come on.
youíre talkiní to Cousin Larry here."
"Yeah, I know . . . " Balki
smiles. "You can talk to Cousin Larry, huh?" Larry says as a pal,
"Just tell Cousin Larry what you did." "Cousin Larry is nice to
me," Balki observes. "Yes," Larry nods, "Yes, he is.
is." "Heís just a nice guy," Balki adds. "Oh, he sure
is," Larry agrees with a smile, "Heís a nice guy so just tell Cousin
Larry what you did." "I sold one of the turkeys to the Johnsons,"
Balki finally explains. "You what?" Larry screams, and he grabs
Balki by the ear and pulls it hard, "Why would you do that?" "Well, it kind of made sense at the time," Balki fumbles to explain,
"I mean, it was the day before Thanksgiving and . . . and we had dozens of
turkeys out in the back yard and a sign in the front yard that said ĎTurkeys
for Sale.í I guess I just wasnít thinking." "Balki, we have got to
get that turkey back from the Johnsons," Larry says. "No
problem," Balki says, "I know what to do."
Balki walks to the door and opens it,
looking out over the back yard as he lets out a series of weird turkey calls,
making them more provocative at the end and finishing with, "Wwowww!"
Balki closes the door and returns to Larry. "What was that?" Larry
asks. "Thatís the sound turkeys make when they wanna get . . . r . . .
romantic," Balki explains, "And it brings them running every time.
think weíre gonna see that turkey I sold to the Johnsons any second. As I
recall, not an unattractive bird." "No," Larry contradicts,
"No. By now the Johnsonís turkey is cooked. We . . . we are gonna have to
switch cooked turkeys." "Well, Cousin, thatís not all weíre gonna
have to do," Balki warns, "Weíre gonna have to deal with fifty-seven
romantic turkeys that are headed this way." They hear the sound of the
turkeys pecking at the back door and look nervous as the scene fades to black.
Act two begins sometime later. We see
Larry and Balki as they approach a home. Larry is carrying a cooked turkey on a platter.
Balki goes to knock on the front
door of the home but Larry pushes him back and begins, "All right, all
right. Now, remember . . . let me do all the talking." "Cousin, I
still think weíre better off telling the truth," Balki insists. "What am I supposed to say to her?" Larry asks, "ĎExcuse me,
Mrs. Johnson, but your turkey swallowed a very expensive diamond and I would
just like the opportunity to rummage through the bird in the hopes of retrieving
it?í" "Iíd believe it," Balki says. "Well, I have
something else in mind. Something a little more believable," Larry insists,
"I am going to tell her that you made a tiny error and sold them a poisoned
turkey that could kill their entire family. Then weíll exchange our bird for
their bird and be on our way. Itís a whole lot simpler than telling them the
truth. Okay? Here we go."
Larry turns to knock on the door but Balki
interrupts. "Cousin, you know, I . . . I think itís . . . I think itís
too late to . . . to do your plan," Balki
says as he walks over to the
window to look inside, "Theyíre already having dinner." Larry joins
Balki and looks inside as well. "Well, if theyíre already eating the . .
. the poison thing wonít work," Larry realizes, "All right, Iíll
have to think of something else. J . . . just donít let them see you."
Balki waves through the window and calls, "Hello, Mrs. Johnson!"
motions to the front door, then tells Larry, "Mrs. Johnsonís coming to
the door." "Well, get out of the window!" Larry complains,
pulling Balki back to the front door. "Mrs. Johnson likes me," Balki
smiles. Larry tosses the platter with the turkey away just as Mrs. Johnson opens
the door. "Hello, Balki," Mrs. Johnson smiles. "Hello, Mrs.
Johnson," Balki hugs her, much to her surprise, "Happy
Thanksgiving!" "Ooh, yes," Mrs. Johnson says, then she greets,
"Larry. What can I do for you?"
"Uh, uh, Mrs. Johnson . . . weíre
here, uh . . . because, uh . . . because we are a full service turkey
organization," Larry thinks on his feet, "And . . . and . . . and, uh
. . . so, uh . . . weíre . . . weíre here to . . . serve your bird. We sell
Ďem, we slice Ďem, we serve Ďem." "Thatís . . . thatís very
sweet," Mrs. Johnson smiles politely, "uh, but we already have
everything on the table." She turns to go in but Larry cries, "Whoa,
ho, ho . . . ho, what about seconds? What about side dishes? What about
beverages? What about desserts?" "What about driverís side air
bags?" Balki asks. Larry turns and angrily grabs Balki by the shirt,
snarling, "Just stop it! Let me do the talking!" "But Cousin, I
saw the commercial . . . " Balki tries to explain. "Let me do the
talking! Balki, thank you very much," Larry growls, then he turns back to
Mrs. Johnson and announces, "Mrs. Johnson, weíre here to make sure that
this is the best darn Thanksgiving the Johnsonís ever had! Come on,
got a meal to serve!" Larry pushes Mrs. Johnson aside and steps into the
house. Balki steps to Mrs. Johnson and says sympathetically, "Believe me .
. . nobody can dish it out like Cousin Larry." Balki also enters the house.
Balki approaches the dining table where
Larry is already standing and greets everyone, "Hello! Hello! Donít stand
up. Donít stand up." Mrs.
Johnson joins them as Balki looks around and
asks, "Have you done something different in here? I wouldnít know, Iíve
never been in here." Mr. Johnson leans over to his wife and asks,
"Marion, whatís the foreign boy from down the street doing here?"
"Iím not really sure," Mrs. Johnson admits, then she says, "Um,
Larry and Balki, this is my husband Howard." "Hi," Larry and
Balki greet him simultaneously. "And this is our son Richie, our daughter
Joanie and Grandpa Johnson," Mrs. Johnson completes the introductions.
"Well, itís a pleasure meeting you all," Larry says as he hurries to
Mrs. Johnson and suggests, "Why donít you just sit down and, uh, enjoy
your Thanksgiving dinner? Weíre here just to make your meal a little more
enjoyable." "Why?" Mr. Johnson asks. "Well, Howard,
Thanksgiving has always been a . . . a . . . special time at the Appleton home
and, uh . . . I just thought, Iíd like to share that special feeling this year
with a few close friends."
"Whatís the Appleton home?"
Mr. Johnson asks warily. "Well . . . itís my home," Larry explains,
"Iím Larry Appleton." "And Iím Balki Bartokomous," Balki
adds, pulling Mr. Johnsonís head into his chest as a means of hugging. Balki
then starts spooning through the stuffing on the table and comments, "Oh,
Mrs., um . . . Mrs. Johnson, your stuffing looks delicious. Do you use chestnuts
or walnuts? Me, I use a handful of beer nuts." "Uh, Balki," Larry
gets Balkiís attention, then he addresses the family, "Uh, why . . . why
donít we all just, uh . . . bow our heads for grace? Howard, would you do the
honors?" "Iíve . . . Iíve already said grace," Howard
explains. "Oh, ha ha!" Larry laughs, "And I missed it.
know, it just doesnít feel like Thanksgiving with . . . without, uh, hearing
grace." "Uh, Howard, just say grace and . . . and maybe theyíll go
away," Mrs. Johnson suggests. "Let us bow our heads," Howard
says, and the family members bow their heads down as he begins reciting grace.
"Dear Lord, we thank you for the food we are about to eat. For the good
fortune our familyís been blessed with. We come together . . . "
Larry walks around to the other side of
Balki, who also has his head bent down. "All right, now," Larry
begins, "If the turkey swallowed the . . . " Larry realizes Balki is
deeply involved in the prayer and not hearing him. Larry slaps the back of Balkiís
head, making him look up in shock. Larry pulls Balki closer and begins,
"All right, now listen, if the turkey swallowed the ring, it would be in
the gizzard. Now the gizzard is either in the stuffing or in the gravy.
check the stuffing and the gravy. Iíll check the turkey." Larry slaps
Balkiís back and then walks around to the other side of the table just as Mr.
Johnson finishes, " . . . today and always, amen!" Balki begins
spooning through the stuffing as the family repeats, "Amen!" "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa . . . " Larry says, stopping
them as they get ready to eat, "Ha ha ha, I think we all have a little more
to be grateful for than that! Huh? Y . . . you know, I . . . I would like
to say a few words so if we could just bow our heads again." "Iím
hungry!" Richie complains. "Me, too," Joannie agrees.
"And so are children all over the
world but they have no food to eat!" Larry snarls, "Which is why we
have so much to be thankful for. So could we just bow our heads and reflect on
the true meaning of this day?" Larry pushes down Mr. and Mrs. Johnsonís
heads and the rest of the family bows theirs as well. "Thanksgiving,"
Larry continues, then he notices that once again Balki has lowered his head and
is into the prayer. Larry sidles up to Balki and slaps him on the back of the
head again. "The stuffing! Check the stuffing!" Larry growls under his
breath, "The stuffing!" Balki tries to argue but Larry grunts,
"Shut up!" then begins giving the prayer again. "Thanksgiving," Larry recites as Balki spoons through the stuffing,
dumping huge portions of it on Mr. Johnsonís plate, "Thanks and giving.
What do these two words mean?" "I know!" Balki jumps in
excitedly, "I know!" Everyone starts to look up but Larry shouts,
"Heads down! Heads down! Nobody said anything!"
Larry motions for Balki to continue to
look as Balki says, "I . . . I know, I know what they . . . " "Shut up!
Shut up!" Larry snarls, then he continues, "Giving . .
. giving . . . " Larry leans toward Balki and says urgently under his
breath, "The gravy . . . the gravy . . . " Balki walks down to check
the gravy as Larry picks up the platter with the turkey and starts to feel
inside the bird as he continues the prayer. "Giving . . . the . . . the act
of imparting or bestowing." "Thatís what I was gonna say,"
Balki tells Larry. "Shut up!" Larry snarls, then he continues,
"Now, putting these two words back together . . . " Larry gets his
hand stuck inside the turkey. He puts the platter aside to try to get it off as
Balki pours out all the gravy from the bowl. " . . . we have . . . we have
. . . Thanksgiving. The . . . the bestowal of gratitude . . . "
whispers Balkiís name and motions to the turkey stuck on his hand, mouthing,
"Help me! Help me!" before continuing, " . . . and . . . and
looking around I see that we . . . we have so much to be grateful for."
Joannie looks up at Larry and Larry shouts, "Eyes down, missy!" Mrs.
Johnson cowers as well.
"Just the . . . just the facts of . .
. " Larry grunts and motions wildly for Balki to come help him. "Just
the fact of . . . of being together is . . . is something to be grateful
for," Larry continues as Balki comes over to help him. "Have you
finished yet?" Mr. Johnson complains, looking up. Larry hides the turkey on
his hand behind his back and scoffs, "Oh! Oh, Howard, am I taking too long
to express gratitude to our Creator? Hmm? I mean, you know I could just say that
Howard didnít want to take the time to thank the man upstairs." Mr.
Johnson looks somewhat guilty. "Heads down! Heads down!" Larry orders,
"Thanksgiving . . . " Larry holds out his hand so that Balki can try
to pull the turkey off, growling, "Get it off me! Thanksgiving . . . being
grateful . . . grateful for the air we breathe. For the few merciless . . .
" Balki tugs on the turkey on Larryís arm, pulling him away into the
other room. Mr. Johnson looks up and tells his wife, "Iím throwing them
out!" as we hear things crashing in the other room. "Maybe we should
do what they say," Mrs. Johnson suggests nervously, "I . . . I think
theyíre crazy." The family quickly starts helping themselves to the food
while they have the chance. We continue to hear Larry and Balki struggling with
the turkey in the other room.
"Thanks to those for giving . . .
" Larry continues as he and Balki reappear, the turkey now stuck on Larryís
foot. Balki manages to pull the turkey free as the family lowers their eyes
again. "Cousin . . . Cousin, go deep!" Balki instructs as Larry
approaches the family and Balki tosses him the turkey, which Larry returns to
the table, startling the family terribly. Grandpa Johnson starts to cough.
"Grandpaís choking on the ring!" Larry shouts. "Grandpa!
Grandpa!" Balki cries as he runs behind the manís chair, "Letís
get those arms up! Arms up! Arms up!" As Grandpa raises his arms Balki
tickles him on the armpits. Larry runs in and pushes Balki aside and grabs
Grandpa around the middle, pulling him from his chair and squeezing him around
the middle. "Come on!" Larry shouts, "Come on, you old geezer!
Cough up the ring!" They roll around on the floor as Grandpa cries, "Iím
not choking! Iím not choking!" Mr. Johnson jumps to his feet and shouts,
"Leave my father alone and get the hell out of here!" Larry and Balki
run to the table and start rummaging through the food again and the family
screams and yells.
Even later that day, back at the house,
Jennifer, Mary Anne and Balki are sitting at the kitchen table as Larry looks
out the back door and calls, "Youíre welcome! And Happy
Thanksgiving!" Larry closes the door and comes to sit at the table.
"Larry, it was very nice of you to donate those turkeys to the homeless
shelter," Jennifer smiles. "Well, I like to do what I can for the less
fortunate during the holiday season," Larry explains. "Cousin Larryís
exact words were ĎAs long as Iím stuck with all these turkeys I may as well
at least get a tax deduction out of it,í" Balki adds. "I . . . I
think it would be nice if we all just, uh . . . took a moment and, uh, gave
thanks for all that we have," Larry suggests. Balki bows his head and
Jennifer begins, "Oh . . . well, um . . . Iím thankful for two of the
best friends anyone could ever hope for and Iím thankful to the most
understanding husband in the world who didnít get angry with me when I found
my diamond ring in my jewelry box." "Iím thankful that we have the
opportunity to share Thanksgiving together," Mary Anne offers.
"Well, uh . . . I donít know where
to begin," Larry says, "Uh . . . this has been the most wonderful year
of my life and I have a lot to be grateful for. Iím married to the most
wonderful woman in the world and Iím thankful for our lovely home and the two
dear friends who share it with us. Iím very thankful that Iím out of the
turkey selling business although I know with a . . . a little time and a lot
more support I couldíve made a go of it." Everyone waits for Balki, who
is sitting with his head bowed. Larry finally has to slap the back of Balkiís
head to get his attention. "I have a lot to be thankful for," Balki
begins, "Iím celebrating my first truly American holiday as an American
citizen, and um . . . I want to thank Mary Anne, Cousin Jennifer and Cousin
Larry for all of their love and support. And uh . . . I want to thank the
Johnsons for not calling the police even though Grandpa Johnson wanted to press
charges. Letís eat."
Balki removes the cover from a large dish
in the middle of the table, revealing four TV dinners stacked on top of each
other. "Now, who had the Salisbury steak?" Balki asks, picking up the
dinner with a pot holder. "I did," Mary Anne says. Balki places it on
her plate and asks, "And the cheese enchilada?" Jennifer motions itís
hers and Balki puts it on her plate. "Iíve got the lasagna," Balki
says, putting a dinner on his plate, then he picks up the last and largest
dinner and puts it on Larryís plate, saying, "Cousin, a Hungry Man for
you!" As they prepare to eat the episode ends.
on to the next episode . . .