Perfect Strangers Episode Guide

EPISODE 130 - Dimitri's World

First Air Date: November 29, 1991
Filming Date: October 25, 1991
Nielsen Rating: 8.2 HH

TV Guide Description: Balki lands an assignment to draw a weekly Chronicle comic strip of Dimitri, the cuddly sheep.  But it gets Larry's goat when Wainwright assigns him to write the cartoons.

Produced by: Alan Plotkin
Created by: Dale McRaven
Written by: Tom Amundsen
Directed by: Judy Pioli

Bronson Pinchot: Balki Bartokomous
Mark Linn-Baker: Larry Appleton
Belita Moreno: Miss Lydia Markham
Sam Anderson: Mr. Sam Gorpley

Guest Cast:
F.J. OíNeil: Mr. R.T. Wainwright

Dimitri Appearances: Dimitri plays a pivotal role in this episode, becoming the model for the new comic strip Balki creates for the newspaperís childrenís section.

"I promise you, you will never live to regret this."
"Cousin, Iíd love to stay here and tickle your brain . . . "
"And if we are not going to give him that then I wash my face of the whole thing."
"Cousin, I would love to help you, but as you may recall you and I just donít see ear to ear on how Dimitri should be presented."
"Iím a predator?"
"Cousin, congratulations and welcome to the top of the barrel!"

Donít be ridiculous: Said once in this episode.

Other catchphrases used in this episode:
"Oh my Lord!"

Other running jokes used in this episode:
Balki laughs at his own joke
Larry babbles in front of Mr. Wainwright
Larry and Balki talk over one another
Larry grovels to Balki
Larry grabs Balki by the hair
A joke is made about Larryís height
The Dance of Joy

Notable Moment: Balki explains to Larry why Dimitri is so dear to him
Balki is promoted to editor of the Sunday Childrenís page and Larry is promoted to an Editorial Writer.  Their desks are finally moved upstairs to the City Room and out of the basement.

Interesting facts:
At the beginning of this episode, Mr. Wainwright mentions that he is dropping the comic strip Kangaroo Cowboy from the dimitrisworldscriptcover.jpg (108769 bytes) childrenís section and wants to replace it with Dimitriís World.  This would prove to be a very important plot point in the upcoming episode, Missing.
- Interestingly enough, the script for this episode includes a copy of one of the Dimitri cartoons from the P.S. I Love You! newsletter on the cover.  There was a funny coinciding between the show and the newsletter, in that the Dimitri cartoon was first mentioned in the fifth season episode The Newsletter.  The first P.S. I Love You! newsletter came out the summer before that, but the Dimitri cartoon didnít appear until December of 1989, after the episode with that joke aired.  The cartoon become a staple in the newsletter (and a favorite among the cast and crew of the show) by the time this seventh season episode was created, so we like to think there was some healthy cross-inspiration going on.
- When Balki names the great painters Rembrandt and Picasso he throws in Earl Scheib, who founded a company that specializes in painting cars.  You can visit the official Earl Scheib website by clicking here.
- This episode marked the first time that Dimitri was seen at the Chicago Chronicle with Balki.
dimitrisworldgrab03.jpg (53218 bytes)- This episode marked the last appearance of a long-standing character in the series, namely the woman who sorts the mail or does archive research behind Balki in the basement.  She had appeared regularly as an extra throughout the series, but with Balki and Larry moving out of the basement she would no longer be seen in practically every episode doing this job.
- Two scenes were written for this episode but not used. An opening scene explained how Larry knew that Mr. Wainwright was looking for a new editorial writer.  A final scene had Larry and Balki packing their items and leaving the basement.  You can read both of these scenes in our Script Variations below.

dimitrisworldgrab04.gif (36677 bytes)Bloopers and Inconsistencies:
There were several different Dimitriís used during the course of the series.  Itís interesting to note that the Dimitri seen in the photo on the fireplace mantel is completely different than the Dimitri used in the episode!

The episode begins in the basement of the Chicago Chronicle where Balki is at his worktable sorting some mail.  The elevator door opens and Mr. Wainwright steps out, looking at a newsletter.  "Bartokomous, Iíve been looking for you," Mr. Wainwright waves Balki over.  "Well, congratulations, Mr. Wainwright . . . you found me!" Balki says, "Now, you want to hide and Iíll look for you?"  "No, no," Mr. Wainwright shakes his head.  "Go ahead!" Balki urges, and then he covers his eyes with his hands.  "Bartokomous!" Mr. Wainwright cries in exasperation, "I want to talk to you about the sheep cartoon you draw for the company newsletter.  You know, Dimitriís World."  "Oh, Iím sorry about that thumb smudge on Dimitriís cheek," Balki offers, "I . . . I had a brownie while I was drawing."  "I never noticed it," Mr. Wainwright assures him, "Iím dropping Kangaroo Cowboy from the cartoon page of the Chronicle and I want to replace it with Dimitriís World and I want you to draw it."

"Thank you, Mr. Wainwright," Balki says, overwhelmed, "I promise you, you will never live to regret this."  Mr. Wainwright takes a moment to react to this comment, then continues, "Yes, well, uh . . . you know, you do a pretty good job drawing this little sheep."  "Hey, do you want to see an unpublished Dimitriís World?" Balki asks excitedly.  "Well, I . . . " Mr. Wainwright begins.  "Come on!  Come on!  Come over here," Balki exclaims, and he pulls Mr. Wainwright to his work table and pulls out a drawer, explaining, "This my secret drawer."  Balki pulls out a piece of paper and says, "Now look, this is one of my particular favorite cartoons.  Um, in the . . . in the first one Dimitriís standing at the street corner looking across the street at one of them lights that says ĎDonít walkí and ĎWalk.í  And then . . . and then the really funny part comes here, at the end, where we realize that Dimitri is too short to push the button!"  Balki bursts out laughing, but Mr. Wainwright just looks confused.  "Heís just . . . heís too short to push the button!"  Balki continues to laugh.

"Well, as much as I like your cartoon, Bartokomous, I think we should seek the input of a good writer to help you with the words," Mr. Wainwright suggests.  Larry steps out of the archives carrying a file folder and crosses behind them just as Mr. Wainwright says, "Now what we need is a writer with a unique talent.  Iím not sure anyone here at the Chronicle fills the bill."  "I could!" Larry steps in, "I could do it, sir!  I could be unique!  I . . . I have a file full of . . . of unique articles.  There is no job too big for Larry Appleton.  The Chronicle is my life, sir."  "You may be right, Appleton," Mr. Wainwright thinks, "I canít picture you having a life away from here."  Larry looks hurt.  "All right, youíve got the job," Mr. Wainwright decides.  "Oh, thank you, sir!" Larry says emphatically, "Thank you, and I will not let you down, sir!  Iíve never let you down in the past.  Well, I have let you down in the past but itís always worked out for the best, sir."  "Appleton," Mr. Wainwright interrupts.  "Yes, sir?"  "Youíre babbling."  "Like a brook, sir!" Larry agrees.

Mr. Wainwright hands the unpublished Dimitri cartoon to Larry and says, "Appleton, fill in the bubbles."  "Fill in the bubbles, sir?" Larry asks with confusion.  "I want you to help Bartokomous write his Dimitri cartoon," Mr. Wainwright explains, "If I like it, Iíll put Dimitriís World on the Childrenís page of the Chronicle a week from Sunday."  Mr. Wainwright picks up his newsletter from Balkiís table and exits.  "Iím writing a cartoon?" Larry asks in shock.  "Cousin, this the most exciting thing thatís ever happened to me!" Balki exclaims happily, "Iím going to be sharing Dimitri with the world!  And Iím going to be doing it with my best friend in the whole world!  Iím so jazzed!  I am the happiest Mypiot in shoes!"  Balki runs across the basement, leaping into the air and shouting, "I have to sing!  I have to dance!  I have to fly!"  He runs by the elevator just as Lydia steps out, looking confused at the commotion which has just passed her.  "Balki?" Miss Lydia calls, "Balki?"  Balki runs back to her and asks, "Yes?  Yes, Miss Lydia?"  "Uh, do you have my mail?" Lydia asks.

"Oh, Iím sorry, Miss Lydia," Balki says, "In all the excitement I forgot to bring you your mail but donít worry . . . "  Balki picks up Miss Lydia and runs her over to his work table.  " . . . because I can always bring you to your mail."  Miss Lydia giggles as Balki sets her down on his work table and hands her the mail.  "Oh, thank you," Lydia laughs, "Oh, well, what excitement?"  "Well, you see, my . . . my little cartoon Dimitriís World is going to be moving from the company newsletter to the Chronicle and Iím going to be drawing it and Cousin Larryís going to be writing it!" Balki explains happily, and he hugs Lydia, then he turns and hugs Larry.  Balki moves back to Lydia, who shakes his hand and says, "Oh, congratulations, Balki."  "Thank you," Balki replies, "Do you want to see it?"  "Oh, yes," Lydia smiles.  Balki pushes her over onto her side to retrieve the cartoon, which she is sitting upon.  "Whoa!" Lydia cries.  Balki uprights her and hands her the cartoon.  "Itís a . . . itís a little rough because I havenít shaded it in yet," Balki explains, then he turns to Larry and says, "Cousin, Iíd love to stay here and tickle your brain for some Dimitri ideas but . . . but I got to go deliver this mail."

Balki pushes Lydia over again and retrieves a stack of mail before uprighting her again . "Donít think until I get back," Balki tells Larry, "I know I wonít."  Balki runs off toward the loading dock, leaping for joy again.  Larry turns to Lydia, looking depressed.  "Iím writing a cartoon," he sighs, "I canít wait for Jennifer to get back from her flight so . . . so I can tell her ĎGuess what your husband the journalist is doing?  Iím putting words in a sheepís mouth.í  You know, I . . . I . . . Iím not gonna stand for it.  Iím just gonna tell Mr. Wainwright I wonít do it!"  "Wait, wait, wait a minute, Larry," Lydia stops him as she gets off the table, "Larry!  Dimitriís not just a sheep.  Heís a gold mine!"  "What do you mean, Ďa gold mine?í" Larry asks.  "Larry, this cartoon could end up running in papers all over the country," Lydia points out, "Dimitri could be bigger than Garfield!  Just think of the marketing possibilities of a soft, wooly, cuddly sheep.  Dimitri calendars, lunch boxes, coffee cups, greeting cards . . . "  "Coloring books, posters, breakfast cereal!" Larry catches on.  He takes the cartoon from Lydia and says, "Well, Dimitri, you are going to be the sheep that lays the golden egg!"

That night at the house, Balki is sitting on the couch in the living room wearing a beret and balancing a drawing pad on his lap.  Dimitri is sitting on the coffee table in front of him.  "Now, in this first scene youíre supposed to be sad," Balki directs, "So . . . let me see sad."  Balki starts to draw as Larry walks in the door carrying his jacket and briefcase.  "Hi, Balki!" Larry greets.  "Oh, hi Cousin," Balki replies, then he sets down the drawing pad and takes off the beret, putting it on Dimitri and saying, "Okay . . . take five, babe."  Larry comes over and sits on the arm of the couch.  "Ready to get started on Dimitri?" Balki smiles.  "Well, not so fast, Balki," Larry says, "If weíre gonna work together, first thing we gotta do is decide on a basic concept for the cartoon."  "Iíve given this a lot of thought and I think it would be good for the first cartoon . . . the first time we see Dimitri, what is he doing?  Heís helping out with chores.  I like him for that, donít you?"  "Balki, thatís sweet," Larry smiles.  "Oh, thank you, Cousin," Balki is tickled.  "But sweet stinks," Larry continues.

"But Cousin, uh . . . Dimitri is a . . . is a . . . is a sweet, kind, cuddly little sheep," Balki points out.  "Balki, todayís kids donít want sweet, kind and cuddly," Larry insists, "See . . . see, what todayís kids want is a . . . is a sheep thatís gonna be doing everything they want to do but canít.  See, they . . . they want a sheep thatíll . . . skip school.  They . . . they want a . . . a rebellious, mischievous sheep.  They want a four-legged Bart Simpson."  Balki looks concerned and comments, "Then why donít they just put two more legs on Bart and leave Dimitri alone?"  "Okay, Balki, you donít understand . . . " Larry begins, talking down to Balki.  "No, no Cousin, I understand," Balki insists.  "No, you donít get it."  "I get it."  "No, you donít get it."  "No, no, no, no, no, no, no.  I get it!  I get it!"  "Youíre gonna get it!" Larry threatens.  Balki holds his hand over his lips, looking startled.  "Balki, we have to take Dimitri and . . . and mold him and shape him into something that kids want to see," Larry explains.  "Cousin, listen to me," Balki insists, slapping his thighs, "Mr. Wainwright wants to see the little kind, sweet, cuddly Dimitri that he saw in the company newsletter.  And if we are not going to give him that then I wash my face of the whole thing."  "Okay," Larry nods.  "Okay," Balki sighs with relief.

"Okay," Larry repeats, then continues, "Youíre out.  Iíll have to do it myself."  "Oh!  This is rich!" Balki scoffs, "Ha ha ha ha ha ha!  You think you can do it yourself?"  "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, yes," Larry responds.  They both look at each other and laugh "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" in an exaggerated manner.  "How hard can it be to draw a sheep?" Larry asks.  They both stand up and Balki asks, "How hard can it be to draw a sheep?  The greatest painters who ever lived . . . Rembrandt, Picasso, Earl Scheib . . . none of them ever even attempted a sheep!"  "Balki, I can draw a sheep and I donít need you," Larry states plainly.  "Oh, is that so, Mr. I-Can-Do-It-Myself?" Balki asks, "Well, then I quit!"  "Good!" Larry smiles, "Who needs ya?"  Larry walks away as Balki sits down on the couch.  Larry stops on his way to the kitchen and says, "Oh, and Iíll already have the first cartoon.  Dimitri is gonna show a bunch of kids how to sneak into the movies for free!"  Larry laughs, then turns to go to the kitchen, mocking Balkiís leaps of joy and exclaiming, "I have to dance!  I have to sing!  I have to fly!"  Balki remains on the couch, looking concerned as the scene fades to black.

The next day at the Chronicle, Larry is sitting at his desk with a artistís pad.  He is sketching Dimitri, who is sitting on Balkiís worktable.  Larry rips the top page from the pad and wads it up before throwing it into the trash, which is already filled and overflowing with wadded pieces of paper.  The elevator door opens and Balki enters, eyeing the growing pile of paper on the floor by Larryís desk.  He stops behind Larry and looks at what heís drawing, then rolls his eyes and walks on.  Balki walks to his worktable and picks up Dimitri, saying, "Hey, Dimitri, did you miss me?"  Larry rips off yet another page and wads it up, throwing it down. Balki eyes Larry and Larry gives him a smug look of fake confidence in return.  "I wasnít aware they moved the recycling bin down here," Balki remarks.  We can now see that the wadded up papers are all around Larryís desk.  Balki whistles as he walks over to Larryís desk and tosses some mail into Larryís in box.  Larry is working on another drawing.  Balki squats down beside him to observe Larryís work.

"Cousin, you know what?  Thatís . . . thatís really quite a wonderful drawing . . . of a shoe," Balki comments, "Would, um . . . would this be the cartoon where Dimitri dreams heís a penny loafer?"  Larry rips off the top page and wads it up, throwing it down with the others.  Mr. Wainwright enters from the archives and sees Dimitri sitting on Balkiís table.  "Appleton, Bartokomous," he calls.  They stand as Mr. Wainwright picks up Dimitri and asks, "Howís the Dimitri cartoon coming?"  "Well, Mr. Wainwright, Iím gonna let Cousin Larry field this one," Balki smiles smugly.  "Well, itís . . . itís coming along amazingly well, Mr. Wainwright," Larry assures him as he runs over to his boss, "You know, I have to admit it, this little sheep really makes me laugh."  Larry laughs in an exaggerated manner.  "Well, if itís coming along that well why wait Ďtil next week?" Mr. Wainwright asks, "Iíll put it in the paper this Sunday.  Have it on my desk first thing in the morning."  "Y . . . yes, sir," Larry answers as Mr. Wainwright exits.

Larry looks panicked and runs back to his desk.  "Balki, did you hear that?  We . . . we have to have it finished and on Mr. Wainwrightís desk first thing tomorrow morning."  Balki stands with his arms crossed just looking at Larry.  "Iím sorry, Cousin, I . . . I donít quite understand."  "M . . . Mr. Wainwright says Dimitri has to be done by tomorrow morning," Larry repeats urgently.  "Oh no no, that part I understand," Balki explains, "What I donít quite have a grasp on is why you are using the word Ďwe.í"  "Okay, okay," Larry hums, "Mmm . . . I admit I may have overestimated my ability to draw Dimitri."  Balki slowly reaches over and picks up a page with a hideously drawn sheep on it.  Balki sets it back down and crosses his arms again.  "Okay, okay, I admit it," Larry scrambles, "I canít do it.  I canít draw Dimitri.  You have to do it.  You have to draw Dimitri.  Balki, help me."  Larry starts to grovel.  "Help me, please.  Help me . . . help me . . . help me."

"Cousin, I would love to help you," Balki says, imitating the nasal way Larry says the last two words, "but as you may recall you and I just donít see ear to ear on how Dimitri should be presented.  Um, you see, I . . . I really see him as a sweet, kind, cuddly little sheep."  Balki shrugs and walks back to his table.  "Okay, okay, you know . . . you know, I . . . I may have taken the idea of changing Dimitri just a little too far," Larry admits as he carries the drawing pad over to Balkiís table, "But I can admit when Iím wrong.  N . . . now, Iíd be willing to cut back a bit.  You know . . . all right, tell you what . . . tell you what . . . weíll give Dimitri . . . tough exterior but a heart oí gold.  Huh?  I love it!  I love it!"  Larry opens the pen and places it in Balkiís hand, even though Balki isnít responding at all.  Larry then picks up the pad and puts it under the pen, exclaims, "I love it!  Ooh ooh ooh, yes!  I love the idea!  Yes!  Yes!"  Larry first moves Balkiís hand, trying to get him to start to draw, then start moving the pad around beneath the pen, getting Balki to draw even though heís not moving.  Larry finishes by tossing Balkiís hand with the pen up twice so the pen comes down to make dots and exclaims, "Thereís his eyes!"

Balki smiles but shakes his head "No."  Larry gets fed up and puts the pad down and takes the pen to close it and put it down as well, saying, "Okay, you know what?  Iíll tell you something, Balki, I have had it.  I mean, what is it with you and . . . and your obsession with this ridiculous toy?"  "Cousin, listen, Dimitri is not a ridiculous toy," Balki says as he picks up Dimitri, "There was a real Dimitri, a sheep that I had on Mypos, and he wasnít just any little sheep, you know?  He was . . . he was the finest and the friendliest and the fluffiest sheep in the flock.  And, uh . . . one night we were out, uh . . . doing our evening jog, and um . . . all of a sudden out of nowhere this ox cart comes barreling out of some side street and is bearing down on us and Dimitri, thinking quick, with his itty bitty little tiny sheep legs, pushes me out of the way and saves my life.  And I . . . I couldnít do anything for him.  So I took the wool from the real Dimitri and I made this little stuffed Dimitri so that he would always be . . . with me."

Larry pauses, then says, "You know, I see Dimitri a . . . as . . . sweet, kind and cuddly.  What do you think?"  Balki smiles and nods.  "Well, we can go that way," Larry sighs.  Balki pats Larryís shoulder and says, "Thank you, Cousin."  "But if weíre gonna get everything done by morning weíre gonna have to work very hard," Larry points out.  Balki sets down Dimitri and picks up the pen and starts to draw on the second page of the pad.  "Now, weíll stay up all night if we have to," Larry continues, "Maybe you could do, uh . . . some kind of, uh . . . rough drawing and . . . and Iíll do an outline.  Weíll . . . weíll get it to Mr. Wainwright, tell him itís just a first draft and . . . and ask him if heíll give us a few extra days to finish it up.  And, uh, Iím sure heíll be happy to give us the extra time."  Balki tears off the second sheet and holds it up to show Larry the completed drawing of the cartoon.  "Okay, Iím finished with my part," Balki announces, "You just got to fill in the bubbles."  Balki hands Larry the cartoon and then picks up Dimitri and walks away happily.

Some days later in the City Room of the Chicago Chronicle, Larry and Balki are waiting.  Larry is pacing nervously as Balki looks through a large magnifier attached to a desk.  "Balki?" Larry asks, then he sees Balki looking through the magnifier, his eye looking huge.  Larry waves his hand like a claw on the other side of the magnifier and Balki screams in terror.  Larry pulls Balki away from the desk.  "Balki, I have been racking my brains trying to figure out why Wainwright wants to meet us up here," Larry says worriedly.  "I donít know why he want to meet us up here," Balki says, "The last time I was up here Mr. Wainwright was firing Miss Johnson and the time before that I was up here and I lost my mitten," Balki starts to cry.  "Oh my Lord," Larry gasps, "Balki, thatís it.  Thatís why he wants to meet us up here."  "He found my mitten?" Balki asks hopefully.  "No, heís going to fire us!" Larry cries, "This is where Wainwright fires people.  He probably likes to put on a little show in front of everybody."

The elevator door opens and Mr. Wainwright enters the City Room.  Larry and Balki step forward to meet him.  "Appleton.  Bartokomous.  I suppose you know why I called you up here?"  "Yes, sir, we do, sir," Larry begins, "and . . . and may I say although I do agree with each and every one of your decisions and . . . and you are one of the great decision makers of our time . . . "  Mr. Wainwright holds up a hand and says, "Thatís enough, Appleton.  I wanted to tell you that everyone loved the Dimitri cartoon.  I especially like the . . . the innocence of Dimitriís World.  A lot of people would have tried to change him into a rebellious, mischievous sheep but not you."  "Oh, no, no, not us, sir," Larry is quick to agree, then notices the look Balki is giving him and mellows, saying, "No, not . . . not us, Mr. Wainwright."  "Iím gonna run it every Sunday on the Childrenís page," Mr. Wainwright announces.  "Oh Cousin!" Balki exclaims, "Now we are so happy we do the Dance of Joy!"  Balki tries to do the Dance of Joy but Larry stops him, saying, "No, no, wait, Balki."  Larry places a hand on Balkiís face to stop him and insists, "Later . . . later . . . later . . . "  Mr. Gorpley is standing by the coffee maker, holding a pot and now paying attention.

"Do you know why I asked you to meet me on this floor?" Mr. Wainwright asks.  "Well, of course we do.  Donít be ridiculous!" Balki steps forward, "To see the little show that Cousin Larry says you put on in front of everyone.  I hope itís ĎOklahoma!í"  "Thatís what I love about you, Bartokomous," Mr. Wainwright sighs, "Youíre innocent and kind and . . . face it, youíve got the mind of a child."  "And the socks to match," Balki agrees, lifting his leg to show Mr. Wainwright his polka dotted socks.  "And thatís why Iím making you the editor of the Sunday Childrenís page," Mr. Wainwright finishes.  Mr. Gorpley is pouring a cup of coffee and is so stunned he overflows the cup and coffee spills everywhere.  He smiles and waves at them with embarrassment. Larry stands with his mouth hanging open and gasps, "Balkiís an editor?"  "Heís perfect," Mr. Wainwright notes.  "Balkiís an editor?" Larry asks again.  "Yes, he is," Mr. Wainwright confirms.  "Iím a predator?" Balki asks.

"Youíre an editor," Mr. Wainwright corrects, then he takes Balki by the wrist and leads him to a desk, "And with a new job come new responsibilities . . . and a new office.  What do you think of it?"  Balki is overwhelmed as he approaches the desk and pulls out a short chair from under the tall drawing table.  "Oh, oh, Mr. . . . Mr. Wainwright, I love it!  I absolutely love it!"  Balki sits on the small chair and his shoulders are just barely above the surface of the inclined table.  "This is gonna take some getting used to, but . . . I think I can make it work," Balki notes.  Larry walks over and wheels Balki on the small chair away from the desk and then rolls a taller chair to the desk.  Larry grabs Balki by the hair and pulls him up into the taller chair.  "Wwowww!" Balki exclaims.  "Well, Balki, congratulations," Larry says sincerely, "Iím very happy for you."  Sadly, Larry turns and walks toward the elevator, saying, "If anyone wants to reach me Iíll . . . Iíll be in the basement . . . with all the other people going nowhere."  Larry pushes the button for the elevator.  "Iíll just get in the elevator and press ĎBí for bottom of the barrel."

Mr. Wainwright has followed Larry to the elevator.  "You know, Mr. Wainwright," Larry says, "I . . . I would have made a . . . a pretty good editorial writer.  But . . . but youíll never know.  Because when it comes to having an eye for talent youíre as blind as a bat."  "Well, as a matter of fact, Appleton, since the cartoon only runs one day a week I was going to offer you the job as my new editorial writer," Mr. Wainwright reveals.  "What vision you have, sir!" Larry gushes, "And I hope you didnít mind my . . . my little joke about the . . . "  Larry indicates pointy teeth and flaps his hands like a bat.  "I mean . . . we can . . . we can kid with each other, canít we, sir?"  "Of course we can," Mr. Wainwright smiles, shaking hands with Larry, "Congratulations on your promotion and, uh, I hope you like your new office."  He indicates the desk in front of Balkiís.  It even has a computer!  "Ooh!  Ooh!  Ooh!" Larry gasps excitedly.  "And have a nice day, Shorty," Mr. Wainwright adds.  Larry turns with angry surprise, then points at Mr. Wainwright, getting the return jab and laughing.  "Good one, sir," Larry smiles.  Balki runs around to Larry and says, "Cousin, Cousin, congratulations and welcome to the top of the barrel!"

Mr. Gorpley steps forward and says in a groveling manner, "Excuse me, Mr, Wainwright, sir.  I couldnít help overhearing . . . if Bartokomous is going to be an editor then whoís going to be doing the Mypiotís work in the mail room?"  "Uh, Gorpley, Iíve been aware for quite some time that Bartokomous has been doing his job and yours in the mail room," Mr. Wainwright informs him, "And Iíve decided, uh . . . itís about time you do your job . . . and his."  Mr. Wainwright pulls an envelope from his inside jacket pocket and hands it to Mr. Gorpley, saying, "Outgoing, I believe."  Mr. Wainwright enters the elevator to leave. Mr. Gorpley is fuming and turns to Balki and Larry, saying coolly, "Well, I suppose you think Iím, ooh . . . bitter?  Angry?  Well, I am!  And let me remind you . . . poison is often odorless and tasteless."  He exits angrily.  "Iím gonna miss those helpful little tips of Mr. Gorpleyís," Balki sighs.  "Well, Balki, we are on our way," Larry smiles, "People are finally starting to look at us as mature, responsible professionals."  "Cousin, is it . . . is it okay now?" Balki asks.  Larry looks around and then nods, "Now."  They step away from the desk and Balki exclaims, "Now we are so happy, we do the Dance of Joy!"  They perform the Dance of Joy and the episode ends.

Script Variations:
There are a number of differences between the shooting script dated October 24, 1991 and the episode which aired:
Originally there was an opening segment which didn't make it into the show.  Balki is at his work table in the basement and Larry enters.  Balki fans out five letters.  "Cousin, don't take another step.  You have to do something very important for me.  Pick a letter, any letter."  Larry takes a letter.  "Classifed, right?" Balki asks.  "Yeah, how did you know?" Larry asks.  "They're all Classified," Balki explains, "You want me to teach you the trick?"  "No, Balki, I don't have the time," Larry says, "I'm going to the archives.  I'm going to put together copies of my best articles to show Mr. Wainwright.  I heard he is looking for an editorial writer.  When he sees my work, he'll have to give me the job."  Larry starts to exit to the archives.  "Make sure you get the one about the cat who can square dance," Balki calls after him.  This is when Mr. Wainwright enters from the elevator.
- When Balki explains the unpublished Dimitri's World strip to Mr. Wainwright, one part is left out of the show.  Balki explains it like this: "You see, Dimitri is standing on a street corner waiting for the light to turn from 'Don't Walk' to 'Walk.'  Right?  And Dimitri is saying, 'Walk, don't walk, walk, don't walk.  What to do.  What to do.'  Don't look yet.  This part he's just thinking.  The really funny part comes in the fourth panel when we discover Dimitri is too short to push the button."
- After Larry points out that he has a file full of unique articles, Balki interjects, "May I remind you, he broke the story on Tex, the two-stepping cat."
- After Larry chimes in on the merchandising idea with, " . . . coloring books, posters, breakfast cereal," he adds, "Lydia, you might be right."  "Of course I'm right," Lydia confirms, "I've had some marketing experience of my own.  Not long ago the Home Shopping Network sold my personal line of massage oil, 'Lydia All Over.'"  "How did you do?" Larry asks.  "Because of that show, I got a lot of offers," Lydia replies.  "That's great," Larry says.  "And I even managed to sell some massage oil," she adds.  She leaves and this is when Larry comments that Dimitri will be the sheep that lays the golden egg.
- When Balki is beginning to draw and having Dimitri pose for him, he instructs, "Okay, Dimitri, just because we've hit the big time, don't be nervous.  Just pose like you always do.  Now, in the first panel you're a little sad.  Let me see sad.  Not too much, not too much . . .  Think more melancholy."  Balki sketches, then comments, "Nobody works better under stress than you do."
- After Larry says they need to decide on the basic concept of the cartoon, he asks, "Now, exactly where do you see the Dimitri cartoon going?"  "I see it going on the children's page of the Chronicle," Balki answers.  "No, Balki, I mean what direction do you see the cartoon going?" Larry tries again.  "Well, Cousin, I kind of imagined it going left to right across the page," Balki answers.  "I mean what is Dimitri going to be doing in the cartoon?" Larry asks with frustration.  "Oh, oh, oh, oh.  Well, I've given it a lot of thought and I think the first cartoon should be about Dimitri helping with chores.  What I like about it, what excites me is it's so visual.  Can't you just picture it?  Or leading a small group of children safely to school.  I like him for that, don't you?"  "That's sweet, Balki," Larry says without emotion.  "Thank you," Balki smiles, "Dimitri and I worked through dinner."  "But sweet stinks," Larry adds.
- After Larry says kids want a Dimitri that will do everything they can't, he includes, "They want a sheep who will skip school, play practical jokes on his teachers and stay out past his curfew."
- After Balki suggests they put two more legs on Bart Simpson and leave Dimitri alone, he adds, "I've got to tell you, mischievous stinks."
- Instead of calling Larry, "Mr. I-Can-Do-It-Myself," Balki calls him, "Mr. Mold and Shape."  After Larry exits to the kitchen (there is no indication in the script of him mocking Balki's earlier exultation), Balki says to Dimitri, "Don't worry, Dimitri, he may get my goat, but he'll never get my sheep."
- After Balki comes into the office and picks up Dimitri he says, "Hello, Dimitri, did you miss me?  Did anybody interesting come and visit?  Were you polite?  You're a good sheep."
- When Larry is making Balki "draw," he suggests, "Okay, okay, he's a nice little sheep who steals the occasional candy bar.  I love it.  I love it."
- When Balki tells the story of Dimitri it's much shorter.  Balki explains, "Let me tell you something about this ridiculous toy.  It happens to be made out of the wool of the real Dimitri who pushed me out of the way of a runaway cart on Mypos.  He gave up his life to save mine.  Not so ridiculous now, is it?"
- After Balki tells Mr. Wainwright he hopes the show he's going to put on is 'Oklahoma,' he adds, "Although I don't really see you as Curly."
- When Larry is told about his new job and tries to make up for what he said about Mr. Wainwright being blind as a bat, he says, "I hope you didn't mind my little joke about those sightless marvels of nature."
- After Balki welcomes Larry to the top of the barrel, he adds, "Well, not the top of the barrel, but the seventeenth floor of the barrel."
- There was also a final scene which took place in the basement.  Larry is at his desk and Balki is at his mail table.  They are putting their personal belongings into boxes.  (Note: while the dialogue would seem to indicate that flashbacks would be included, no such notes are made in the script.)  "You know, Balki, we've had some good times down here," Larry sighs, "I'm going to miss it."  "Yeah, we've worked here for four years," Balki agrees, "I never thought we'd get past the first day."  "And we've met a lot of interesting people down here," Larry points out.  "When you think of it, Cousin, we're lucky to get out of here alive," Balki notes, "We also met a lot of dangerous people in this basement."  "And there's been some unexplainable moments," Larry adds.  "I know exactly what you're talking about," Balki says.  "Looking back on the time we spent here, I don't think it was all that tough," Larry concludes, "We pretty much just danced our way through it."  "Cousin, I came to this country with just a knapsack and a dream," Balki says, "Now my dream is coming true and I've still got my knapsack.  I love America."  They get into the elevator and look back nostalgically.  "Take a good look, Balki, who knows when we'll be back here again," Larry suggests.  "We'll be back here at the end of the day, Cousin," Balki points out, "It's the only way we can get to our cars."

The scripts for the TGIF promos which aired November 1, 1991 were included at the end of this script and shot after the filming of this episode.  You can view the script pages for these promos below and you can currently view these spots on our YouTube Channel.

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