Perfect Strangers Episode Guide

EPISODE 134 - Missing

First Air Date: January 17, 1992
Nielsen Rating: 10.2 HH

Produced by: Alan Plotkin
Created by: Dale McRaven
Written by: Terry Hart
Directed by: Judy Pioli

Bronson Pinchot: Balki Bartokomous
Mark Linn-Baker: Larry Appleton
Rebeca Arthur: Mary Anne Spencer
Melanie Wilson: Jennifer Appleton
Belita Moreno: Miss Lydia Markham
Sam Anderson: Mr. Sam Gorpley

Guest Cast:
F.J. OíNeil: Mr. R.T. Wainwright
Leslie Jordan: Rob Bob Phillips

missinggrab02.jpg (21836 bytes)Dimitri Appearances: Dimitri has a prominent role in this episode, having been kidnapped for ransom.

"You wait just a cotton candy minute!"

Donít be ridiculous: Not said in this episode.

Other catchphrases used in this episode:
"I am emotionally drained."

Other running jokes used in this episode:
Jokes are made about Larry not tipping
Larry tries to lead Balki in a different direction during a conversation but Balki doesn't pick up the hint and sticks with the last thought instead
The Dance of Joy

Interesting facts:
We see that more and more jokes are creeping in about Larry being tight-fisted when it comes to tipping.  This is especially funny when you consider that Mark Linn-Baker also has a bit of a reputation for being "tight" with his money.
missinggrab03.jpg (51764 bytes)- Balki pulls the tapestry which he memorably made for Larry for their first Christmas together from the wall where it hangs behind the staircase to sell for Dimitriís ransom.
- It should be noted that Dimitri did a fantastic job playing the fake Dimitri as well!  Itís amazing the way that little stuffed sheep pulled off the polyester look!
- This is one of a few times that stunt men were used for a series of pratfalls, when Balki and Larry slip on the marbles and land on their backs.  You can see that the stunt men take great care to keep their faces turned away from the cameras.
- In this episode we see that Lydia and Mr. Gorpley are now meeting after-hours at the Chronicle for late-night trysts.  It might have been interesting to find out whatever became of their relationship!
- When Balki and Larry were given the job of creating the Dimitriís World cartoon back in the episode of the same name, Mr. Wainwright mentioned that they were dropping the strip Kangaroo Cowboy from the paper.  This ties in perfectly with this episode, in which the creator of that strip, Rob Bob Phillips, tries to get revenge for having his comic cancelled.
- Television fans probably know Leslie Jordan, who played Rob Bob Phillips in this episode, best from his recurring roles on such series as Top of the Heap, Boston Public, Boston Legal and Will & Grace (for which he won an Emmy as Outstanding Guest Actor in a Comedy Series in 2006), although he also appeared on episodes of Murphy Brown, Newhart, Pee-Weeís Playhouse, Reasonable Doubts, Nurses, Lois & Clark, Coach, Star Trek: Voyager, Weird Science, Wings, Dharma & Greg, Ellen, Caroline in the City, Martial Law, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Nash Bridges, Ally McBeal, Judging Amy, Monk Reba and George Lopez, as well as regular roles on the series Hidden Palms, 12 Miles of Bad Road (which unceremoniously shelved by HBO before it even aired) and Sordid Lives (revisiting the role of "Brother Boy" he played in the original play and film).  He has also written a book entitled "My Trip Down the Pink Carpet," based on his one-man play of the same title.  You can visit his official website by clicking here.

Bloopers and Inconsistencies:
Cousin nightime59 pointed out this blooper to us: When Balki enters the first scene he is carrying his vest over his right arm as he makes fun of Larry about the fortune cookie.  But when the camera cuts to Larry, the vest has suddenly moved over to Balkiís left arm!
- Once again the Dimitri seen in the photo on the fireplace mantel is not the same as the Dimitri used in this episode.

The episode begins in the City Room of the Chicago Chronicle.  Larry and Balki exit the elevator and start for their desks.  Balki is laughing and says, "Cousin, Iím sorry.  I . . . I donít mean to laugh at you but you got to admit itís kind of peculiar.  We go for a nice Chinese lunch at Wong Suís and you make a fool of yourself in front of Wong, and his lovely wife Sue.  Why?  All because of the fortune in the fortune cookie.  Donít you know them things can apply to anyone?"  Larry eyes Balki skeptically and asks, "Oh really?  Oh really?"  Larry holds up the fortune and reads, "ĎYou will be coming into money soon but if you are Larry Appleton you wonít be using it for tips.í"  Larry holds the fortune to Balki to emphasize his point.  Mr. Wainwright enters the room and calls as he approaches them, "Appleton, Bartokomous . . . I want to talk to you.  The theme of next Sundayís Magazine section is ĎChildren,í and I want a new Dimitri cartoon for the cover."

Balki steps forward excitedly and asks, "Dimitriís going to be a cover sheep?"  Mr. Wainwright nods.  "You know, his dream is to be named People Magazineís ĎSexiest Lamb Alive,í" Balki adds.  Mr. Wainwright looks at his watch and crosses to the elevator, saying, "Well, I have to meet with the lawyers.  Remember Rob Bob Phillips who used to work up here?  Heís suing the paper because we fired him.  Appleton, if I ever fire you . . . donít make a federal case out of it."  "You can count on me, sir!" Larry assures him.  "And have the cover cartoon on my desk Monday morning," Mr. Wainwright adds as he steps into the elevator.  Larry and Balki run to Balkiís desk and Balki starts to brush off his drawing space.  "Now, Balki, Mr. Wainwright says we have to have the cartoon on his desk by Monday morning, so maybe you should just skip your warm-up routine and get right to drawing," Larry suggests.

"Skip my warm-up routine?" Balki asks in disbelief.  "Skip your warm-up routine . . . " Larry repeats.  "Skip my warm-up routine?"  "Okay, do your warm-up," Larry sighs in defeat.  "Okay," Balki says, and he presses the ends of his fingers from each hand together, saying, "Five finger push-ups."  He pushes the fingers together and out, counting, "One, two, three . . . "  He starts to struggle and Larry encourages, "Come on!  Push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push!"  Balki completes the fourth.  "Youíve got one more in you," Larry urges, "Dig deep!  Dig deep!"  Balki completes the fifth and then turns to Larry who massages his fingers as if they have had a major workout.  "Okay.  All right, all right, good.  Good," Larry coaxes, "Okay, here we go.  Letís get right to drawing."  Larry tosses Balkiís hands onto the desktop.  "And now I have to spell my name in the air with my nose," Balki continues anyway, and he starts swinging his head around wildly, spelling out loud, "B - A - L - K - I!"  Balki is unsteady on his feet when done and gasps, "Whoa!"  Larry grabs him to keep him from falling over.  "Okay?  All right?" Larry asks, "Are you ready?"  "Yeah," Balki confirms.

"Letís get right to drawing," Larry suggests, and he turns Balki to the drawing desk again.  "Okay, Dimitri, letís . . . " Balki begins, then he stops, looking around.  "Whereís Dimitri?" Balki asks.  "I donít know," Larry says, "Weíll look for him later.  Letís . . . letís just get right to drawing."  "Cousin, Cousin, Cousin, you know I cannot draw Dimitri unless I have him right in front of me," Balki reminds Larry, "I . . . I have to . . . connect with him.  And . . . and I donít know where he is.  Heís . . . heís usually right here on the corner of my desk right where this note is."  Balki picks up a folded piece of paper with cut-out letters pasted onto it.  "ĎBalki,í" Balki reads the front, then he unfolds it and reads, "ĎI have the sheep.  Do exactly as I tell you or . . . or youíll never see him again.  Iíll be in touch.í  You know, I . . . I canít help noticing what a tremendous amount of work went into the writing of this note.  Obviously the person who sent it cares enough to send the very best.  I wonder where Dimitri is."  Larry snatches the note from Balki and says, "Balki . . . Dimitri has been kidnapped!"

The next day at the house, Larry is standing inside the front door when it opens and Balki enters, looking disheveled and unshaven.  "I . . . I put missing sheep posters all over the neighborhood," Balki reports, "and did the kidnapper call yet?"  "No, he hasnít, Balki," Larry informs him gently.  "Oh, Cousin, I . . . I donít know what else I can do," Balki sighs, "I . . . I . . . I dusted my drawing table for fingerprints, I . . . I faxed Dimitriís picture to ĎUnsolved Mysteries,í I . . . I just thought and thought, I donít know what else I could do.  What a kind of a person could do this?  I . . . I am emotionally drained."  Balki leans on Larry shoulder and cries as Larry pats his back.  "Well, of course you are," Larry sympathizes.  Balki stands straight again and states, "I will not cry."  "Well, Balki, you know maybe . . . maybe you should do something that would take your mind off Dimitri," Larry suggests.  "Oh Cousin, that would be so good," Balki sighs.  "Well, of course it would be good but . . . " Larry begins.  "Oh gosh," Balki sighs.  " . . . but what could you do?" Larry asks.

"What could I do?" Balki repeats.  "Iíve got it!" Larry says, "You could draw."  "What could I do?" Balki asks again.  "I said Iíve got it!" Larry repeats, "You could draw."  "I could draw!" Balki realizes.  "You could draw!" Larry exclaims, pronouncing draw the same as Balki.  Larry takes Balki by the arm and leads him around to the couch.  "Yes, yes, but . . . but what could you draw?"  "What could I draw?" Balki asks.  "What could you draw?" Larry repeats as he directs Balki to sit on the couch.  "What could I draw?" Balki repeats.  "Iíve got it!" Larry says, "You could draw a nice fluffy white cloud."  After a moment, Balki repeats, "What could I draw?"  "I said Iíve got it!" Larry repeats louder, grabbing a drawing pad and pen from the coffee table and handing it to Balki, "You could draw a nice fluffy white cloud."  "I could draw a nice fluffy white cloud," Balki smiles as he takes the pad and pen.  "Yes, a nice fluffy white cloud," Larry agrees, "Go ahead."  "No, I donít dare," Balki hesitates.  "No, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead," Larry urges.  "Okay," Balki agrees, and he starts to draw.

"Oh good.  Good.  Okay," Larry observes.  "Iím doing it," Balki smiles, "Iím doing it.  And I feel so much better."  "Okay," Larry smiles, pointing to the picture, "Give him some eyes, maybe.  You know . . . some eyes."  Balki draws the eyes.  "A little nose," Larry adds, "Little nose.  Maybe tail over here."  "But, but, but the mouth," Balki points out.  "Okay," Larry says and Balki finishes the drawing.  Larry takes the pad and tears off the page as he says, "Oh yes, thatís so very, very good."  "Yes," Balki agrees as he takes the page from Larry, "You know whatís really nice about it?  Iíve just figured out what youíre doing.  Youíre trying to trick me into drawing Dimitri.  That is low, Cousin.  Thatís low, even for you."  Balki tears up the drawing and Larry takes the pieces in frustration and tries to put it back together but gives up, the pieces flying everywhere.  Jennifer enters through the front door carrying the mail and some dry cleaning.  "Hi, guys," she greets them, "I got the mail."  Balki jumps up from the couch and rushes to Jennifer, saying, "Ooh, maybe thereís something from the kidnapper!"  Balki starts going through the mail.  Larry jumps up and also runs over, crying, "Balki, we are running out of time!  We have got to have that cartoon on Mr. Wainwrightís desk by Monday morning!"

Balki opens one envelope and pulls out a piece of fabric.  He looks shocked as he gasps, "What is this?  Itís Dimitriís ear."  Balki faints, falling back onto Larry.  Jennifer starts fanning Balki with a larger envelope, explaining, "No, Balki, thatís a fabric swatch I ordered.  Iím getting new drapes for our bedroom."  Jennifer hands Larry the mail and walks into the kitchen.  Larry opens the larger envelope and pulls out an unmarked videotape.  "Whatís this?" Larry asks.  "Isnít that one of your ĎThink and Grow Taller Tapes?í" Balki asks.  "No," Larry insists, "That was just a series of five."  They look at one another then realize what it might be and hurry the tape over to the VCR and put it in.  A picture comes on the television screen of Dimitri wearing a blindfold with a current copy of the Chicago Chronicle next to him.  A muddled voice says, "As you can see, I still have your sheep.  I want ten thousand dollars or Iíll turn him into ten thousand Q-tips.  You catch my drift?  Iíll contact you within twenty-four hours."  The screen goes to fuzz, Balki is distraught and Larry is shocked as the scene fades to black.

The next day Balki is running around the house gathering items.  He is still unshaven and unkempt.  He comes down the stairs and removes the tapestry from the wall, carrying it to the couch along with a cardboard box.  He continues to hold the box as he moves to the end table and picks up a lamp, looking it over and then pulling it so the cord releases from the outlet so he can put it into the box.  Mary Anne enters from the kitchen and says, "Hi, Balki.  Whatís all this stuff?"  "Hi, Mary Anne," Balki says, and as he speaks he removes her earrings and puts them into the box, "The, uh, kidnapper called.  He wants ten thousand dollars ransom for Dimitri and he said heís . . . he said heís calling today so Iím just rounding up some things to sell to get the ransom money."  He lifts Mary Anneís arm and removes a bracelet from her wrist, also dropping it into the box.  He starts to work on the bracelet on her other wrist when Mary Anne looks into the box and cries, "Balki!  This is my hair dryer!"  She pulls it out of the box.

"Well, I . . . I . . . I know thatís your hair dryer but I was hoping that you would donate it to Dimitriís random fund," Balki sighs sadly, "um, unless itís a priceless family heirloom, lovingly handed down from mother to daughter every generation for years back since your family first come to this country and therefore much, much more important than Dimitriís life."  "How could I be so heartless?" Mary Anne sobs, "Keep the dryer.  Iíll get you my facial sauna."  Mary Anne puts the dryer back into the box and hurries upstairs.  Larry rushes in through the front door carrying his jacket and a paper bag.  "Balki!" Larry cries, waving his arms wildly, "Incredible news!"  Balki rushes over and sets the box down on the other end table then tries to take Larryís wedding ring from his finger.  "Youíll never guess what I found in the trash dumpster outside behind the Chronicle . . . what are you doing?  Stop it!" Larry cries, pulling his hand away.  He throws aside his jacket and lifts the paper bag, reaching inside as he announces, "Balki . . . I found . . . Dimitri!"  He produces the stuffed sheep, holding it up for Balki to see.

"Oh Cousin!" Balki cries happily, reaching for the stuffed sheep, but Larry holds him back, keeping the sheep at armís length away, "Now we are so happy, we do the Dance of Joy!"  Balki starts to do the Dance of Joy but Larry stops him.  "Good idea . . . good idea," Larry says, "But first . . . first we draw.  Then we dance."  Larry continues to tease Balki with Dimitri, keeping the stuffed sheep a good distance from Balkiís reach and luring Balki over to the couch, laughing, "Here we go.  Here we go."  "Cousin, Cousin, why canít I hold Dimitri?" Balki asks.  "Oh well, well, Balki, Dimitriís been through a traumatic experience and he needs to spend some time alone," Larry offers.  "But, but, Cousin . . . " Balki argues, trying to get around Larry to get at Dimitri as Larry deftly keeps the sheep away, even when Balki jumps on the couch to run around him, "But the thing is, I . . . I . . . yesterday he wanted ten thousand dollars for Dimitri and . . . and why he did change his mind?"  "Well, uh, maybe somebody saw him with Dimitri and . . . and . . . and so he had to get rid of the evidence but the important thing is Dimitri is here."  Larry holds Dimitri up to Balkiís nose for a moment before pulling him away again.

"And now we can get that cartoon to Mr. Wainwright by Monday morning," Larry continues, holding Dimitri in front of Balkiís face again and then lowering him so Balki will sit on the couch.  Larry sits beside him and sets Dimitri onto the coffee table and instructs, "Okay now, here we go.  Do your warm-up!  Five finger push-ups . . . five finger push-ups.  Ready?"  Larry pushes Balkiís fingers together and makes him do the first push up, counting, "One . . . two . . . "  Balki isnít going fast enough to Larry grabs his hands and makes him do three quick ones, counting, ". . . three, four, five.  Okay, good."  Larry grabs Balki by the hair on the back of his head and pulls his head back.  "Okay, here we go!  Weíre going to write your name in the air with your nose.  Okay?"  Larry starts jerking Balkiís head around frantically, spelling, "B-A-L-K . . . !" as Balki screams the entire time.  Balki stops him, crying, "Cousin!  Cousin!  I always write my name with capitals.  Youíre using lower case."  "Sorry," Larry smiles.  "Well, thatís all right," Balki smiles back.  Balki reaches for Dimitri but Larry grabs his hair and pulls him back again, announces, "Okay, here we go!  B-A-L-K-I!"

Larry swings Balkiís head around wildly again as he spells.  Once done, Balki asks in a pained voice, "Why does it have to hurt so much?"  "Just be glad you donít have a longer name," Larry points out, "Okay . . . here we go!  All right, weíre gonna . . . "  Larry picks up the drawing pad and pen from the coffee table, leaving Dimitri unguarded for a moment.  Balki grabs the Dimitri and shouts, "Ah ha!  You wait just a cotton candy minute!  Dimitri was made of pure wool and this little imitation is made of some synthetic fiber!"  "Uh, uh, uh . . . " Larry hems.  "Cousin, my little friend Dimitri was not thirty-two percent rayon," Balki continues, "This is not Dimitri.  This is some puny polyester imposter!"  Balki shoves the fake Dimitri into Larryís arms.  "No, Balki!" Larry argues, "Balki, of course itís Dimitri!  If . . . if it wasnít Dimitri, how do you explain that when . . . that when I walked by the dumpster he was calling my name?"  Larry bleats in his best, sad little sheep voice, "Cousin Larry!  Cousin Larry!"  "Get a grip," Balki suggests, "This is a stuffed sheep."

"All right, all right," Larry admits, setting the sheep aside, "Maybe itís not Dimitri.  But if you donít draw Dimitri, Mr. Wainwright is gonna fire us!"  "Cousin, look, I . . . I donít know how to say this," Balki sighs, "I cannot draw Dimitri unless I have Dimitri in front of me.  Itís like you cannot take a pill unless Jennifer hides it in apple sauce.  I . . . Iím sorry."  "Okay," Larry says, standing up, "Okay.  You canít draw Dimitri unless Dimitriís here?  Weíll just have to get Dimitri back."  Balki stands up and points out, "But Cousin, we cannot afford the . . . the ransom!"  "Balki, forget the ransom!" Larry insists, "We are gonna catch the kidnapper!"  They lift their right legs to rest up on the coffee table in a macho fashion as they think.  "Now what we have to do is to get him to meet us in a place where we have the advantage," Larry says.  "Iíve got it, Cousin," Balki says, "The jungle gym down at the park.  I know that thing inside-out!"  "Itíll never work," Larry argues.  "How Ďbout the market?" Balki asks.  "What advantage will we have there?" Larry asks.  "None, but we need milk," Balki explains.  The phone on the end table starts to ring and Balki shoves Larry aside into the couch as he makes a mad dash to answer it.  Balki picks up the receiver as Larry stands up.

"Hello?" Balki asks worriedly, "Yes, this is Balki Bartokomous."  Balki whispers to Larry, "Cousin, itís the man who has Dimitri."  Larry runs around the back of the couch to join Balki as Balki tells the kidnapper, "Listen, listen . . . he . . . he . . . he likes to be scratched behind the ears and . . . and he likes to sleep on his left side . . . and he has lived . . . yes, I know heís just a stuffed animal but Iíve been under tremendous emotional strain!  Please indulge me!"  Larry grabs the receiver away from Balki and covers the mouthpiece with his hand.  "Balki, if weíre gonna get Dimitri back weíre gonna have to get tough."  Larry puts on a tough voice and says into the receiver, "Okay, listen pally!"  Larry nods and smiles at Balki.  "Listen and listen up good!  Weíve got your ten thousand dollars but weíre not gonna meet you in some dark, dangerous alley!"  Larry and Balki share another look of triumph.  Larry returns to the phone and says, "No, shut up!  Donít talk!  Weíll meet ya tonight at midnight in the . . . in the . . . the basement of the Chronicle.  And bring the sheep!"  Larry hangs up the receiver but Balki reaches down and picks it up again, saying into it, "And that goes double for me, pally!"

Late that night at the Chicago Chronicle, Larry and Balki are in the basement.  Larry has a bag from which he pulls out marbles and scatters them on the floor.  He does this on the floor all around their former desks.  Larry holds the bag open to Balki and says, "Balki, help me spread out these marbles."  Balki reaches in to take a handful and says, "Well, Cousin, you know, uh . . . I love playing marbles just as much as anyone else but now seems kind of an odd time.  I donít know how you play but you know what we do on Mypos?  We put all the marbles in our mouth . . . "  Balki puts a handful of marbles into his mouth.  " . . . and then weíll see who can spit them the farthest."  Balki proceeds to spit out one marble, then a second.  As heís about to spit out a third, Larry slaps his hand over Balkiís mouth.  "Balki, we are not playing marbles."  Larry removes his hand and Balki spits out the third marble.  "We are setting a trap for the kidnapper," Larry explains.  "Well . . . " Balki sighs.  "Now when he comes in, heíll step on the marbles," Larry continues, "When he falls, thatís when we jump him.  Okay?  Itís almost midnight.  Hit the lights."

Larry finishes spreading out all the marbles and Balki runs to the back wall to turn off the lights.  They duck down behind Balkiís old work table and wait in the dark.  After a few moments, Balki asks, "Cousin . . . what are you thinking?"  Larry replies, "I was just thinking . . . that Iím waiting here in the dark for someone deranged enough to kidnap a stuffed sheep . . . and therefore probably deranged enough to be carrying one of those automatic assault rifles . . . and Iím doing this so I can fill in the bubble over a cartoon . . . to please my boss . . . who thinks Iím a babbling twit.  Maybe I should re-examine my life."  "You want to know what Iím thinking?" Balki asks.  After a moment, Larry answers, "No."  Balki spits out another marble.  Suddenly footsteps can be heard approaching.  "Cousin, someoneís coming!" Balki notes.  "Itís the kidnapper," Larry says, "All right, all right . . . when he falls, thatís when we jump him!"  They duck down as a figure enters the basement.  "Now!" Larry shouts, and he jumps up and turns on the light as he and Balki race forward.  They slip on the marbles and land flat on their backs at the feet of Lydia.

Balki looks up and gasps, "Cousin!  Itís Miss Lydia!  Boy, you think you know a person!"  "What are you two doing here?" Lydia asks.  "Oh, Miss Lydia!" Balki says as he gets to his feet, "Miss Lydia, you . . . you have kidnapped Dimitri and youíre here to collect the ransom money!  I love you, Miss Lydia, but you have thrown me into a terrible emotional conflict!  You have done a horrible thing!  But I want you to know that I am going to do everything I can to help you become once again a useful member of society.  Cousin, get her out of my sight!"  Balki shoves Lydia toward Larry, who is still getting up from the floor.  "I didnít steal your sheep!" Lydia cries, "I donít even eat lamb!"  "Balki, it wasnít Lydia," Larry insists, "It was a manís voice on the phone."  "Oh . . . never mind," Balki sighs.  "I . . . Iím sorry, Lydia," Larry apologizes, "All . . . all this Dimitri stuff has got us a little tense."  "Ah, well, shame on you!" Lydia scolds Balki, and she slaps the back of his head, causing another marble to fly out of Balkiís mouth.  Lydia backs away from them and heads up the stairs.

"False alarm," Larry sighs, "Come on.  Watch your step."  "Watch it," Balki also warns Larry about the marbles.  They gingerly make their way back to the work table and Larry says, "Hit the lights."  Balki turns off the lights and again they duck down behind the table and wait.  Again they hear footsteps approaching.  "All right, Balki!  This is it!" Larry says excitedly as they duck down further.  We see another figure enter the basement.  "Now!" Larry shouts as he gets up and turns on the lights and they rush the person, again slipping on the marbles and flying up into the air and landing on their backs, this time at the feet of Mr. Gorpley.  "Cousin, itís Mr. Gorpley!" Balki gasps, "Boy, you think you know a person!"  "Do you ever think maybe you two spend too much time together?" Mr. Gorpley asks.  Balki gets to his feet and asks, "Mr. Gorpley, why didnít you come to me?  We could have talked this over!  I . . . I thought we were friends!  Hey, itís Balki!"  Larry pulls himself to his feet by grabbing Balkiís hand and explains, "Balki, thatís not why Gorpley is here."  Larry pushes Balki aside and tells Mr. Gorpley, "Lydiaís upstairs."

"She is?  Oh!" Mr. Gorpley says, acting nonchalant, "Well, maybe Iíll just stop up and say hi."  Mr. Gorpley pulls some breath spray from his pocket and squirts his mouth before heading upstairs.  "Hit the lights," Larry tells Balki as they head back to the table, adding, "Watch it."  "Easy, Cousin," Balki also warns.  Balki turns off the lights and they duck behind the table again.  "How long do you think this parade of innocent people will go on?" Balki asks.  "I donít know, Balki, but when this monster shows up weíre gonna be ready for him," Larry sneers.  As Larry is saying this, a small man comes out of the Archives behind them and walks around to the side of the table, saying, "Hi!"  Balki and Larry jump up, startled.  Larry turns on the lights and Balki exclaims, "Rob Bob!  Rob Bob, how are you?"  Balki hugs the short man who is carrying a paper bag.  "Oh, I . . . Iím just fine, thank you," Rob Bob smiles, "Iím fine."  "Cousin Larry, look," Balki introduces, "This is Rob Bob Phillips.  He used to work here."  "Well, get down, Rob Bob, because weíre waiting to catch a kidnapper."  "Uh, Larry . . . Balki . . . " Rob Bob tries to speak.  "Balki, hit the lights," Larry instructs.  Balki gets up and turns off the lights and they all duck behind the table.

"Iím the kidnapper," Rob Bob confesses.  After a moment, Larry says, "Balki, hit the lights."  They stand up and Balki turns on the lights.  "Iím sorry to put you through so much," Rob Bob says, "I know it was hard on you."  He reaches into the bag and pulls out Dimitri, handing him to Balki.  "Hereís Dimitri."  "Oh Dimitri!" Balki sighs, hugging his stuffed sheep, "Dimitri."  "I took real good care of him," Rob Bob assures them, "He really wasnít much trouble."  "Listen, uh . . . Rob Bob, uh . . . we havenít been able to raise, uh . . . all of the ten thousand dollar ransom so in . . . in a couple of days . . . "  Balki hands Dimitri back to Rob Bob but Larry jumps between them and takes Dimitri back.  "Balki, Balki," Larry says, "We are not giving him any money."  Larry turns to Rob Bob, who is much shorter, and says, "You know . . . you short guys really tick me off, you know that?"  Larry grabs Rob Bob by the shirt and starts roughing him up.  "You sleazy little worm!"  "I . . . I donít want any money!" Rob Bob insists.  "Oh, sure!  Sure!  Now that you know youíre dealing with somebody bigger than you are, you sawed-off little criminal!" Larry continues to shake him, "Huh?  Huh?  How tall are you?  Huh?"

Balki steps between them and tries to interrupt, "Cousin . . . "  "Huh?" Larry continues.  "Cousin," Balki says again, grabbing Larry by the jacket and pulling him away from Rob Bob, "Thatís enough."  "I just want Balki to forgive me," Rob Bob sighs, "Reason your Dimitri cartoon got into the Chronicle is Ďcause the cartoon I draw, Kangaroo Cowboy, was dropped from the paper.  I was hurt.  And I wanted to hurt you so I took Dimitri.  I thought the paper would pay the ransom.  But I felt so awful Ďbout what I was doiní.  Then I realized . . . Kangaroo Cowboy would never do something that despicable.  So Iím giviní Dimitri back to you.  Iím sorry, Balki."  "I forgive you," Balki assures Rob Bob.  Larry picks Dimitri up off the table and hands him to Balki, saying, "Here, Balki," then he walks to Rob Bob again and says, "You know what you are?  Youíre short!  Youíre so short!"  Larry starts roughing him up again.  "Short little worm!  Just a . . . just a short little worm of a . . . "  Balki comes between them again and pulls Larry away.  "No, come on!  No, let me have just one more shot at him!  Hey!  Hey!  Hey!  Howís the weather down there?  Huh?"  Rob Bob points his finger at Larry in warning.

Larry finally calms down and asks, "Well, why didnít you tell us all this when you called?"  "I tried!" Rob Bob cries, "You wouldnít let me talk!"  Balki looks at Larry and comments, "I hear that!"  "Itís late," Rob Bob sigh, "I better get goiní.  Iím sorry, Balki."  "Rob Bob, itís really . . . itís . . . itís . . . itís okay," Balki insists, "And, uh . . . hey, give Kangaroo Cowboy a real big buckaroo howdy for me."  Balki and Rob Bob both hop like a kangaroo twice and then mimic twirling a lasso over their heads as they shout, "Howdy!"  "Iíll tell him," Rob Bob smiles, "Bye."  "Bye," Balki says.  Rob Bob leaves.  Larry picks Dimitri up from the table again and hands him to Balki.  "Come on, Balki," Larry says, "Letís go up to our office.  If we hurry, we can still get the Dimitri cartoon on Mr. Wainwrightís desk by morning."  They run across the basement to the elevator and trip again on the marbles, flying up in the air and landing on their backs.  Dimitri also goes flying. Balki and Larry slowly sit up and Balki comments, "This is why on Mypos we leave the marble-playing to professionals."  Balki spits out another marble and the episode ends.

Continue on to the next episode . . .