Strangers Episode Guide
134 - Missing
First Air Date: January 17, 1992
Nielsen Rating: 10.2 HH
Produced by: Alan Plotkin
Created by: Dale McRaven
Written by: Terry Hart
Directed by: Judy Pioli
Bronson Pinchot: Balki Bartokomous
Mark Linn-Baker: Larry Appleton
Rebeca Arthur: Mary Anne Spencer
Melanie Wilson: Jennifer Appleton
Belita Moreno: Miss Lydia Markham
Sam Anderson: Mr. Sam Gorpley
F.J. OíNeil: Mr. R.T. Wainwright
Leslie Jordan: Rob Bob Phillips
Dimitri Appearances: Dimitri has a
prominent role in this episode, having been kidnapped for ransom.
"You wait just a cotton candy
Donít be ridiculous: Not said in this
Other catchphrases used in this episode:
"I am emotionally drained."
Other running jokes used in this episode:
Jokes are made about Larry not tipping
Larry tries to lead Balki in a different direction during a conversation but
Balki doesn't pick up the hint and sticks with the last thought instead
The Dance of Joy
- We see that more and more jokes are
creeping in about Larry being tight-fisted when it comes to tipping. This is
especially funny when you consider that Mark Linn-Baker also has a bit of a reputation for
being "tight" with his money.
- Balki pulls the tapestry which he
memorably made for Larry for their first Christmas together from the wall where
it hangs behind the staircase to sell for Dimitriís ransom.
- It should be noted that Dimitri did a
fantastic job playing the fake Dimitri as well! Itís amazing the way that
little stuffed sheep pulled off the polyester look!
- This is one of a few times that stunt
men were used for a series of pratfalls, when Balki and Larry slip on the
marbles and land on their backs. You can see that the stunt men take great care
to keep their faces turned away from the cameras.
- In this episode we see that Lydia and
Mr. Gorpley are now meeting after-hours at the Chronicle for late-night trysts.
It might have been interesting to find out whatever became of their
- When Balki and Larry were given the job
of creating the Dimitriís World cartoon back in the episode of the same name,
Mr. Wainwright mentioned that they were dropping the strip Kangaroo Cowboy from
the paper. This ties in perfectly with this episode, in which the creator of
that strip, Rob Bob Phillips, tries to get revenge for having his comic
- Television fans probably know Leslie
Jordan, who played Rob Bob Phillips in this episode, best from his recurring
roles on such series as Top of the Heap, Boston Public, Boston Legal and
& Grace (for which he won an Emmy as Outstanding Guest Actor in a Comedy
Series in 2006), although he also appeared on episodes of Murphy Brown,
Newhart, Pee-Weeís Playhouse, Reasonable Doubts, Nurses, Lois & Clark, Coach, Star
Trek: Voyager, Weird Science, Wings, Dharma & Greg, Ellen, Caroline in the
City, Martial Law, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Nash Bridges, Ally McBeal, Judging
Amy, Monk Reba and George Lopez, as well as regular roles on the series
Palms, 12 Miles of Bad Road (which unceremoniously shelved by HBO before it even
aired) and Sordid Lives (revisiting the role of "Brother Boy" he
played in the original play and film). He has also written a book entitled
"My Trip Down the Pink Carpet," based on his one-man play of the same
title. You can visit his official website by clicking here.
Bloopers and Inconsistencies:
- Cousin nightime59 pointed out this
blooper to us: When Balki enters the first scene he is carrying his vest over
his right arm as he makes fun of Larry about the fortune cookie. But when the
camera cuts to Larry, the vest has suddenly moved over to Balkiís left arm!
- Once again the Dimitri seen in the photo on the
fireplace mantel is not the same as the Dimitri used in this episode.
The episode begins in the City Room of the
Chicago Chronicle. Larry and Balki exit the elevator and start for their desks.
Balki is laughing and says, "Cousin, Iím sorry. I . . . I donít mean to
laugh at you but you got to admit itís kind of peculiar. We go for a nice
Chinese lunch at Wong Suís and you make a fool of yourself in front of Wong,
and his lovely wife Sue. Why? All because of the fortune in the fortune cookie.
Donít you know them things can apply to anyone?" Larry eyes Balki
skeptically and asks, "Oh really? Oh really?" Larry holds up
the fortune and reads, "ĎYou will be coming into money soon but if you
are Larry Appleton you wonít be using it for tips.í" Larry holds the
fortune to Balki to emphasize his point. Mr. Wainwright enters the room and
calls as he approaches them, "Appleton, Bartokomous . . . I want to talk to
you. The theme of next Sundayís Magazine section is ĎChildren,í and I want
a new Dimitri cartoon for the cover."
Balki steps forward excitedly and asks,
"Dimitriís going to be a cover sheep?" Mr. Wainwright nods.
"You know, his dream is to be named People Magazineís ĎSexiest Lamb
Alive,í" Balki adds. Mr. Wainwright looks at his watch and crosses to the
elevator, saying, "Well, I have to meet with the lawyers. Remember Rob Bob
Phillips who used to work up here? Heís suing the paper because we fired him.
Appleton, if I ever fire you . . . donít make a federal case out of it."
"You can count on me, sir!" Larry assures him. "And have the
cover cartoon on my desk Monday morning," Mr. Wainwright adds as he steps
into the elevator. Larry and Balki run to Balkiís desk and Balki starts to
brush off his drawing space. "Now, Balki, Mr. Wainwright says we have to
have the cartoon on his desk by Monday morning, so maybe you should just skip
your warm-up routine and get right to drawing," Larry suggests.
"Skip my warm-up routine?" Balki
asks in disbelief. "Skip your warm-up routine . . . " Larry repeats.
"Skip my warm-up routine?" "Okay, do your warm-up," Larry
sighs in defeat. "Okay," Balki says, and he presses the ends of his
fingers from each hand together, saying, "Five finger push-ups."
pushes the fingers together and out, counting, "One, two, three . . .
" He starts to struggle and Larry encourages, "Come on! Push, push,
push, push, push, push, push, push!" Balki completes the fourth.
got one more in you," Larry urges, "Dig deep! Dig deep!"
completes the fifth and then turns to Larry who massages his fingers as if they
have had a major workout. "Okay. All right, all right, good.
Larry coaxes, "Okay, here we go. Letís get right to drawing."
tosses Balkiís hands onto the desktop. "And now I have to spell my name
in the air with my nose," Balki continues anyway, and he starts swinging
his head around wildly, spelling out loud, "B - A - L - K - I!" Balki
is unsteady on his feet when done and gasps, "Whoa!" Larry grabs him
to keep him from falling over. "Okay? All right?" Larry asks,
"Are you ready?" "Yeah," Balki confirms.
"Letís get right to drawing,"
Larry suggests, and he turns Balki to the drawing desk again. "Okay,
Dimitri, letís . . . " Balki begins, then he stops, looking around.
"Whereís Dimitri?" Balki asks. "I donít know," Larry
says, "Weíll look for him later. Letís . . . letís just get right to
drawing." "Cousin, Cousin, Cousin, you know I cannot draw Dimitri
unless I have him right in front of me," Balki reminds Larry, "I . . .
I have to . . . connect with him. And . . . and I donít know where he is.
. . . heís usually right here on the corner of my desk right where this note
is." Balki picks up a folded piece of paper with cut-out letters pasted
onto it. "ĎBalki,í" Balki reads the front, then he unfolds it and
reads, "ĎI have the sheep. Do exactly as I tell you or . . . or youíll
never see him again. Iíll be in touch.í You know, I . . . I canít help
noticing what a tremendous amount of work went into the writing of this note.
Obviously the person who sent it cares enough to send the very best. I wonder
where Dimitri is." Larry snatches the note from Balki and says, "Balki
. . . Dimitri has been kidnapped!"
The next day at the house, Larry is
standing inside the front door when it opens and Balki enters, looking
disheveled and unshaven. "I . . . I put missing sheep posters all over the
neighborhood," Balki reports, "and did the kidnapper call yet?"
"No, he hasnít, Balki," Larry informs him gently. "Oh, Cousin,
I . . . I donít know what else I can do," Balki sighs, "I . . . I .
. . I dusted my drawing table for fingerprints, I . . . I faxed Dimitriís
picture to ĎUnsolved Mysteries,í I . . . I just thought and thought, I donít
know what else I could do. What a kind of a person could do this? I . . . I am
emotionally drained." Balki leans on Larry shoulder and cries as Larry pats
his back. "Well, of course you are," Larry sympathizes. Balki stands
straight again and states, "I will not cry." "Well, Balki, you
know maybe . . . maybe you should do something that would take your mind off
Dimitri," Larry suggests. "Oh Cousin, that would be so good,"
Balki sighs. "Well, of course it would be good but . . . " Larry
begins. "Oh gosh," Balki sighs. " . . . but what could you do?"
"What could I do?" Balki
repeats. "Iíve got it!" Larry says, "You could draw."
"What could I do?" Balki asks again. "I said Iíve got
it!" Larry repeats, "You could draw." "I could draw!"
Balki realizes. "You could draw!" Larry exclaims, pronouncing draw the
same as Balki. Larry takes Balki by the arm and leads him around to the couch.
"Yes, yes, but . . . but what could you draw?" "What could I
draw?" Balki asks. "What could you draw?" Larry repeats as he
directs Balki to sit on the couch. "What could I draw?" Balki repeats.
"Iíve got it!" Larry says, "You could draw a nice fluffy white
cloud." After a moment, Balki repeats, "What could I draw?"
"I said Iíve got it!" Larry repeats louder, grabbing a drawing pad
and pen from the coffee table and handing it to Balki, "You could draw a
nice fluffy white cloud." "I could draw a nice fluffy white
cloud," Balki smiles as he takes the pad and pen. "Yes, a nice fluffy
white cloud," Larry agrees, "Go ahead." "No, I donít
dare," Balki hesitates. "No, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead," Larry
urges. "Okay," Balki agrees, and he starts to draw.
"Oh good. Good. Okay," Larry
observes. "Iím doing it," Balki smiles, "Iím doing it.
feel so much better." "Okay," Larry smiles, pointing to the
picture, "Give him some eyes, maybe. You know . . . some eyes."
draws the eyes. "A little nose," Larry adds, "Little nose.
tail over here." "But, but, but the mouth," Balki points out.
"Okay," Larry says and Balki finishes the drawing. Larry takes the pad
and tears off the page as he says, "Oh yes, thatís so very, very
good." "Yes," Balki agrees as he takes the page from Larry,
"You know whatís really nice about it? Iíve just figured out what youíre
doing. Youíre trying to trick me into drawing Dimitri. That is low, Cousin.
Thatís low, even for you." Balki tears up the drawing and Larry takes the
pieces in frustration and tries to put it back together but gives up, the pieces
flying everywhere. Jennifer enters through the front door carrying the mail and
some dry cleaning. "Hi, guys," she greets them, "I got the
mail." Balki jumps up from the couch and rushes to Jennifer, saying,
"Ooh, maybe thereís something from the kidnapper!" Balki starts
going through the mail. Larry jumps up and also runs over, crying, "Balki,
we are running out of time! We have got to have that cartoon on Mr. Wainwrightís
desk by Monday morning!"
Balki opens one envelope and pulls out a
piece of fabric. He looks shocked as he gasps, "What is this? Itís
Dimitriís ear." Balki faints, falling back onto Larry. Jennifer starts
fanning Balki with a larger envelope, explaining, "No, Balki, thatís a
fabric swatch I ordered. Iím getting new drapes for our bedroom."
Jennifer hands Larry the mail and walks into the kitchen. Larry opens the larger
envelope and pulls out an unmarked videotape. "Whatís this?" Larry
asks. "Isnít that one of your ĎThink and Grow Taller Tapes?í"
Balki asks. "No," Larry insists, "That was just a series of
five." They look at one another then realize what it might be and hurry the
tape over to the VCR and put it in. A picture comes on the television screen of
Dimitri wearing a blindfold with a current copy of the Chicago Chronicle next to
him. A muddled voice says, "As you can see, I still have your sheep.
ten thousand dollars or Iíll turn him into ten thousand Q-tips. You catch my
drift? Iíll contact you within twenty-four hours." The screen goes to
fuzz, Balki is distraught and Larry is shocked as the scene fades to black.
The next day Balki is running around the
house gathering items. He is still unshaven and unkempt. He comes down the
stairs and removes the tapestry from the wall, carrying it to the couch along
with a cardboard box. He continues to hold the box as he moves to the end table
and picks up a lamp, looking it over and then pulling it so the cord releases
from the outlet so he can put it into the box. Mary Anne enters from the kitchen
and says, "Hi, Balki. Whatís all this stuff?" "Hi, Mary
Anne," Balki says, and as he speaks he removes her earrings and puts them
into the box, "The, uh, kidnapper called. He wants ten thousand dollars
ransom for Dimitri and he said heís . . . he said heís calling today so Iím
just rounding up some things to sell to get the ransom money." He lifts
Mary Anneís arm and removes a bracelet from her wrist, also dropping it into
the box. He starts to work on the bracelet on her other wrist when Mary Anne
looks into the box and cries, "Balki! This is my hair dryer!"
pulls it out of the box.
"Well, I . . . I . . . I know thatís
your hair dryer but I was hoping that you would donate it to Dimitriís random
fund," Balki sighs sadly, "um, unless
itís a priceless family
heirloom, lovingly handed down from mother to daughter every generation for
years back since your family first come to this country and therefore much, much
more important than Dimitriís life." "How could I be so
heartless?" Mary Anne sobs, "Keep the dryer. Iíll get you my facial
sauna." Mary Anne puts the dryer back into the box and hurries upstairs.
Larry rushes in through the front door carrying his jacket and a paper bag.
"Balki!" Larry cries, waving his arms wildly, "Incredible
news!" Balki rushes over and sets the box down on the other end table then
tries to take Larryís wedding ring from his finger. "Youíll never guess
what I found in the trash dumpster outside behind the Chronicle . . . what are
you doing? Stop it!" Larry cries, pulling his hand away. He throws aside
his jacket and lifts the paper bag, reaching inside as he announces, "Balki
. . . I found . . . Dimitri!" He produces the stuffed sheep, holding it up
for Balki to see.
"Oh Cousin!" Balki cries
happily, reaching for the stuffed sheep, but Larry holds him back, keeping the
sheep at armís length away, "Now we are so happy, we do the Dance of
Joy!" Balki starts to do the Dance of Joy but Larry stops him. "Good
idea . . . good idea," Larry says, "But first . . . first we draw.
Then we dance." Larry continues to tease Balki with Dimitri, keeping the
stuffed sheep a good distance from Balkiís reach and luring Balki over to the
couch, laughing, "Here we go. Here we go." "Cousin, Cousin, why
canít I hold Dimitri?" Balki asks. "Oh well, well, Balki, Dimitriís
been through a traumatic experience and he needs to spend some time alone,"
Larry offers. "But, but, Cousin . . . " Balki argues, trying to get
around Larry to get at Dimitri as Larry deftly keeps the sheep away, even when
Balki jumps on the couch to run around him, "But the thing is, I . . . I .
. . yesterday he wanted ten thousand dollars for Dimitri and . . . and why he
did change his mind?" "Well, uh, maybe somebody saw him with
Dimitri and . . . and . . . and so he had to get rid of the evidence but the
important thing is Dimitri is here." Larry holds Dimitri up to Balkiís
nose for a moment before pulling him away again.
"And now we can get that cartoon to
Mr. Wainwright by Monday morning," Larry continues, holding Dimitri in
front of Balkiís face again and
then lowering him so Balki will sit on the
couch. Larry sits beside him and sets Dimitri onto the coffee table and
instructs, "Okay now, here we go. Do your warm-up! Five finger push-ups . .
. five finger push-ups. Ready?" Larry pushes Balkiís fingers together and
makes him do the first push up, counting, "One . . . two . . . "
isnít going fast enough to Larry grabs his hands and makes him do three quick
ones, counting, ". . . three, four, five. Okay, good." Larry grabs
Balki by the hair on the back of his head and pulls his head back. "Okay,
here we go! Weíre going to write your name in the air with your nose.
Okay?" Larry starts jerking Balkiís head around frantically, spelling,
"B-A-L-K . . . !" as Balki screams the entire time. Balki stops him,
crying, "Cousin! Cousin! I always write my name with capitals.
using lower case." "Sorry," Larry smiles. "Well, thatís
all right," Balki smiles back. Balki reaches for Dimitri but Larry grabs
his hair and pulls him back again, announces, "Okay, here we go! B-A-L-K-I!"
Larry swings Balkiís head around wildly
again as he spells. Once done, Balki asks in a pained voice, "Why does it
have to hurt so much?" "Just be glad you donít have a longer
name," Larry points out, "Okay . . . here we go! All right, weíre
gonna . . . " Larry picks up the drawing pad and pen from the coffee table,
leaving Dimitri unguarded for a moment. Balki grabs the Dimitri and shouts,
"Ah ha! You wait just a cotton candy minute! Dimitri was made of pure wool
and this little imitation is made of some synthetic fiber!" "Uh, uh,
uh . . . " Larry hems. "Cousin, my little friend Dimitri was not
thirty-two percent rayon," Balki continues, "This is not Dimitri.
is some puny polyester imposter!" Balki shoves the fake Dimitri into Larryís
arms. "No, Balki!" Larry argues, "Balki, of course itís
If . . . if it wasnít Dimitri, how do you explain that when . . . that when I
walked by the dumpster he was calling my name?" Larry bleats in his best,
sad little sheep voice, "Cousin Larry! Cousin Larry!" "Get a
grip," Balki suggests, "This is a stuffed sheep."
"All right, all right," Larry
admits, setting the sheep aside, "Maybe itís not Dimitri. But if you donít
draw Dimitri, Mr. Wainwright is gonna fire us!" "Cousin, look, I . . .
I donít know how to say this," Balki sighs, "I cannot draw Dimitri
unless I have Dimitri in front of me. Itís like you cannot take a pill unless
Jennifer hides it in apple sauce. I . . . Iím sorry." "Okay,"
Larry says, standing up, "Okay. You canít draw Dimitri unless Dimitriís
here? Weíll just have to get Dimitri back." Balki stands up and points
out, "But Cousin, we cannot afford the . . . the ransom!" "Balki,
forget the ransom!" Larry insists, "We are gonna catch the
kidnapper!" They lift their right legs to rest up on the coffee table in a
macho fashion as they think. "Now what we have to do is to get him to meet
us in a place where we have the advantage," Larry says. "Iíve got
it, Cousin," Balki says, "The jungle gym down at the park. I know that
thing inside-out!" "Itíll never work," Larry argues.
Ďbout the market?" Balki asks. "What advantage will we have
there?" Larry asks. "None, but we need milk," Balki explains.
phone on the end table starts to ring and Balki shoves Larry aside into the
couch as he makes a mad dash to answer it. Balki picks up the receiver as Larry
"Hello?" Balki asks worriedly,
"Yes, this is Balki Bartokomous." Balki whispers to Larry,
"Cousin, itís the man who has Dimitri." Larry runs around the back
of the couch to join Balki as Balki tells the kidnapper, "Listen, listen .
. . he . . . he . . . he likes to be scratched behind the ears and . . . and he
likes to sleep on his left side . . . and he has lived . . . yes, I know heís
just a stuffed animal but Iíve been under tremendous emotional strain! Please
indulge me!" Larry grabs the receiver away from Balki and covers the
mouthpiece with his hand. "Balki, if weíre gonna get Dimitri back weíre
gonna have to get tough." Larry puts on a tough voice and says into the
receiver, "Okay, listen pally!" Larry nods and smiles at Balki.
"Listen and listen up good! Weíve got your ten thousand dollars but weíre
not gonna meet you in some dark, dangerous alley!" Larry and Balki share
another look of triumph. Larry returns to the phone and says, "No, shut up!
Donít talk! Weíll meet ya tonight at midnight in the . . . in the . . . the
basement of the Chronicle. And bring the sheep!" Larry hangs up the
receiver but Balki reaches down and picks it up again, saying into it, "And
that goes double for me, pally!"
Late that night at the Chicago Chronicle,
Larry and Balki are in the basement. Larry has a bag from which he pulls out
marbles and scatters them on the floor. He does this on the floor all around
their former desks. Larry holds the bag open to Balki and says, "Balki,
help me spread out these marbles." Balki reaches in to take a handful and
says, "Well, Cousin, you know, uh . . . I love playing marbles just as much
as anyone else but now seems kind of an odd time. I donít know how you play
but you know what we do on Mypos? We put all the marbles in our mouth . . .
" Balki puts a handful of marbles into his mouth. " . . . and then weíll
see who can spit them the farthest." Balki proceeds to spit out one marble,
then a second. As heís about to spit out a third, Larry slaps his hand over
Balkiís mouth. "Balki, we are not playing marbles." Larry removes
his hand and Balki spits out the third marble. "We are setting a trap for
the kidnapper," Larry explains. "Well . . . " Balki sighs.
"Now when he comes in, heíll step on the marbles," Larry continues,
"When he falls, thatís when we jump him. Okay? Itís almost midnight.
Hit the lights."
Larry finishes spreading out all the
marbles and Balki runs to the back wall to turn off the lights. They duck down
behind Balkiís old work table and wait in the dark. After a few moments, Balki
asks, "Cousin . . . what are you thinking?" Larry replies, "I was
just thinking . . . that Iím waiting here in the dark for someone deranged
enough to kidnap a stuffed sheep . . . and therefore probably deranged enough to
be carrying one of those automatic assault rifles . . . and Iím doing this so
I can fill in the bubble over a cartoon . . . to please my boss . . . who thinks
Iím a babbling twit. Maybe I should re-examine my life." "You want
to know what Iím thinking?" Balki asks. After a moment, Larry answers,
"No." Balki spits out another marble. Suddenly footsteps can be heard
approaching. "Cousin, someoneís coming!" Balki notes. "Itís
the kidnapper," Larry says, "All right, all right . . . when he falls,
thatís when we jump him!" They duck down as a figure enters the basement.
"Now!" Larry shouts, and he jumps up and turns on the light as he and
Balki race forward. They slip on the marbles and land flat on their backs at the
feet of Lydia.
Balki looks up and gasps, "Cousin!
Miss Lydia! Boy, you think you know a person!" "What are you two doing
here?" Lydia asks. "Oh, Miss Lydia!" Balki says as he gets to his
feet, "Miss Lydia, you . . . you have kidnapped Dimitri and youíre here
to collect the ransom money! I love you, Miss Lydia, but you have thrown me into
a terrible emotional conflict! You have done a horrible thing! But I want you to
know that I am going to do everything I can to help you become once again a
useful member of society. Cousin, get her out of my sight!" Balki shoves
Lydia toward Larry, who is still getting up from the floor. "I didnít
steal your sheep!" Lydia cries, "I donít even eat lamb!" "Balki,
it wasnít Lydia," Larry insists, "It was a manís voice on the
phone." "Oh . . . never mind," Balki sighs. "I . . . Iím
sorry, Lydia," Larry apologizes, "All . . . all this Dimitri stuff has
got us a little tense." "Ah, well, shame on you!" Lydia scolds
Balki, and she slaps the back of his head, causing another marble to fly out of
Balkiís mouth. Lydia backs away from them and heads up the stairs.
"False alarm," Larry sighs,
"Come on. Watch your step." "Watch it," Balki also warns
Larry about the marbles. They gingerly make their way back to the work table and
Larry says, "Hit the lights." Balki turns off the lights and again
they duck down behind the table and wait. Again they hear footsteps approaching.
"All right, Balki! This is it!" Larry says excitedly as they duck down
further. We see another figure enter the basement. "Now!" Larry shouts
as he gets up and turns on the lights and they rush the person, again slipping
on the marbles and flying up into the air and landing on their backs, this time
at the feet of Mr. Gorpley. "Cousin, itís Mr. Gorpley!" Balki gasps,
"Boy, you think you know a person!" "Do you ever think maybe you
two spend too much time together?" Mr. Gorpley asks. Balki gets to his feet
and asks, "Mr. Gorpley, why didnít you come to me? We could have talked
this over! I . . . I thought we were friends! Hey, itís Balki!"
pulls himself to his feet by grabbing Balkiís hand and explains, "Balki,
thatís not why Gorpley is here." Larry pushes Balki aside and tells Mr.
Gorpley, "Lydiaís upstairs."
"She is? Oh!" Mr. Gorpley says,
acting nonchalant, "Well, maybe Iíll just stop up and say hi."
Gorpley pulls some breath spray from his
pocket and squirts his mouth before
heading upstairs. "Hit the lights," Larry tells Balki as they head
back to the table, adding, "Watch it." "Easy, Cousin," Balki
also warns. Balki turns off the lights and they duck behind the table again.
"How long do you think this parade of innocent people will go on?"
Balki asks. "I donít know, Balki, but when this monster shows up weíre
gonna be ready for him," Larry sneers. As Larry is saying this, a small man
comes out of the Archives behind them and walks around to the side of the table,
saying, "Hi!" Balki and Larry jump up, startled. Larry turns on the
lights and Balki exclaims, "Rob Bob! Rob Bob, how are you?"
the short man who is carrying a paper bag. "Oh, I . . . Iím just fine,
thank you," Rob Bob smiles, "Iím fine." "Cousin Larry,
look," Balki introduces, "This is Rob Bob Phillips. He used to work
here." "Well, get down, Rob Bob, because weíre waiting to catch a
kidnapper." "Uh, Larry . . . Balki . . . " Rob Bob tries to
speak. "Balki, hit the lights," Larry instructs. Balki gets up and
turns off the lights and they all duck behind the table.
"Iím the kidnapper," Rob Bob
confesses. After a moment, Larry says, "Balki, hit the lights."
stand up and Balki turns on the lights. "Iím sorry to put you through so
much," Rob Bob says, "I know it was hard on you." He reaches into
the bag and pulls out Dimitri, handing him to Balki. "Hereís
"Oh Dimitri!" Balki sighs, hugging his stuffed sheep, "Dimitri."
"I took real good care of him," Rob Bob assures them, "He really
wasnít much trouble." "Listen, uh . . . Rob Bob, uh . . . we havenít
been able to raise, uh . . . all of the ten thousand dollar ransom so in . . .
in a couple of days . . . " Balki hands Dimitri back to Rob Bob but Larry
jumps between them and takes Dimitri back. "Balki, Balki," Larry says,
"We are not giving him any money." Larry turns to Rob Bob, who is much
shorter, and says, "You know . . . you short guys really tick me off, you
know that?" Larry grabs Rob Bob by the shirt and starts roughing him up.
"You sleazy little worm!" "I . . . I donít want any
money!" Rob Bob insists. "Oh, sure! Sure! Now that you know youíre
dealing with somebody bigger than you are, you sawed-off little criminal!"
Larry continues to shake him, "Huh? Huh? How tall are you?
Balki steps between them and tries to
interrupt, "Cousin . . . " "Huh?" Larry continues.
"Cousin," Balki says again, grabbing Larry by the jacket and pulling
him away from Rob Bob, "Thatís enough." "I just want Balki to
forgive me," Rob Bob sighs, "Reason your Dimitri cartoon got into the
Chronicle is Ďcause the cartoon I draw, Kangaroo Cowboy, was dropped from the
paper. I was hurt. And I wanted to hurt you so I took Dimitri.
I thought the
paper would pay the ransom. But I felt so awful Ďbout what I was doiní.
I realized . . . Kangaroo Cowboy would never do something that despicable.
giviní Dimitri back to you. Iím sorry, Balki." "I forgive
you," Balki assures Rob Bob. Larry picks Dimitri up off the table and hands
him to Balki, saying, "Here, Balki," then he walks to Rob Bob again
and says, "You know what you are? Youíre short! Youíre so short!"
Larry starts roughing him up again. "Short little worm! Just a . . . just a
short little worm of a . . . " Balki comes between them again and pulls
Larry away. "No, come on! No, let me have just one more shot at him!
Hey! Hey! Hey! Howís the weather down there? Huh?"
Rob Bob points his finger
at Larry in warning.
Larry finally calms down and asks,
"Well, why didnít you tell us all this when you called?" "I
tried!" Rob Bob cries, "You wouldnít let me talk!" Balki looks
at Larry and comments, "I hear that!" "Itís late," Rob Bob
sigh, "I better get goiní. Iím sorry, Balki." "Rob Bob, itís
really . . . itís . . . itís . . . itís okay," Balki insists,
"And, uh . . . hey, give Kangaroo Cowboy a real big buckaroo howdy for
me." Balki and Rob Bob both hop like a kangaroo twice and then mimic
twirling a lasso over their heads as they shout, "Howdy!" "Iíll
tell him," Rob Bob smiles, "Bye." "Bye," Balki says.
Rob Bob leaves. Larry picks Dimitri up from the table again and hands him to
Balki. "Come on, Balki," Larry says, "Letís go up to our
office. If we hurry, we can still get the Dimitri cartoon on Mr. Wainwrightís
desk by morning." They run across the basement to the elevator and trip
again on the marbles, flying up in the air and landing on their backs. Dimitri
also goes flying. Balki and Larry slowly sit up and Balki comments, "This
is why on Mypos we leave the marble-playing to professionals." Balki spits
out another marble and the episode ends.
on to the next episode . . .