Perfect Strangers Episode Guide

EPISODE 147 -  Lethal Weapon

First Air Date: July 23, 1993
Filming Date: July 29, 1992
Nielsen Rating: 8.1 HH

Produced by: Alan Plotkin
Created by: Dale McRaven
Written by: Sheri Hearn
Directed by: Judy Askins

Bronson Pinchot: Balki Bartokomous
Mark Linn-Baker: Larry Appleton
Melanie Wilson: Jennifer Appleton
Rebeca Arthur: Mary Anne Bartokomous

Dimitri Appearances: Dimitri is not seen in this episode.

" . . . and as I put them down one by one they starting dropping like . . . ants."

Donít be ridiculous: Said once in this episode (by Larry!)

Other catchphrases used in this episode:
"What are you talking about?" (spoken by Larry)
"Now let me get this straight . . . " (spoken by Jennifer)
"What is the matter with you?"

Other running jokes used in this episode:
Larry and Balki talk over each other
Balki tries to warn Larry about something but Larry wonít listen
Balki laughs at his own joke
Balki slaps Larry on the back of the head

Myposian Curses: Balki gets the Exterminiki Curse, which brings instant death to anyone Balki touches.

Interesting facts:
The episodeís title is taken from the popular series of action movies starring Danny Glover and Mel Gibson.
- This episode was to have marked F.J. OíNeilís final appearance on the series, as well as the last time Balki and Larry were to be seen at work, but unfortunately the scene which took place at the newspaper office was cut from the final show.  A clip from this omitted scene was used in the final episodeís montage.  The scene in the office actually was pretty pivotal to the plot and explains why Balki doesnít take Larry seriously when he starts to choke at home.  You can read the entire thing in the Script Variations below.
- During the live filming someone asked warm-up comedian Robert Lee if the ants were union ants.  Robert replied that no, they were scab ants.
- Bronson works in yet another Wizard of Oz reference when he talks about Dave, the great and powerful Wizard of Mypos.
- When Balki says, "Whatís it all about, Balki?" itís a reference to the theme song of the 1966 movie, Alfie, starring Michael Caine.
- When Larry mentions that he didnít want to have to talk to the Bickleys, itís an in-joke referring to co-executive producer William Bickley.
- When Balki tells Larry to "knock three times on the table if you're faking, twice on your head if the answer is no," it's reminiscent of the 1970 Tony Orlando and Dawn song "Knock Three Times."
- When asked during the question and answer period what kind of cars they all drive, Bronson said he drove a Lexus Coup, Mark a Nissan 300Z, Melanie a Range Rover, Rebeca a Mercedes 560 FS, and F.J. OíNeil a Taurus station wagon.

The episode begins one morning at the house.  Larry, Jennifer and Mary Anne are in the kitchen finishing breakfast.  Larry carries a frying pan over the table and asks, "More eggs, Mary Anne?"  "Oh, no thanks," Mary Anne says, "Iím stuffed."  "Jennifer?" Larry offers.  "Do you really have to ask, Larry?" Jennifer wonders.  Larry puts some of the scrambled eggs on her plate.  She looks at him expectantly and he pushes the rest of the eggs onto her plate.  She looks at him expectantly again.  Larry picks up Mary Anneís plate and scraped her unfinished eggs onto Jenniferís plate.  She smiles in thanks as Larry takes the plate and pan from the table.  "Whatís taking Balki so long?" Larry asks.  "Oh, he wants to pick the perfect flowers for my morning bouquet," Mary Anne smiles.

Balki suddenly bursts in through the back door and screams, "Call an ambulance!  Theyíre all dying!"  Balki runs back outside.  Larry looks startled and sets down the pan and plate, turning to the telephone to dial.  "Did . . . did he say who was dying?" Larry asks.  Balki runs back in with one of his hands cupped.  "Balki, whoís dying?" Larry asks.  "All the ants from my ant farm," Balki says sadly, looking into his hand, "Except Mitch.  Iíve still got a pulse on Mitch.  Hold on, Mitch!  Hold on!  Iím gonna give him mouth-to-mouth."  Balki taps his hand on the counter to drop the ant there.  "Iíve gotta pinch his little nose and tilt his little head back and blow."  Balki struggles to figure out how to do this, then blows onto the counter.  "Be careful!" Mary Anne warns, "Donít overinflate the lungs!"  Balki blows one more time then stands, looking around for the now missing ant.  He checks the counter and the floor, then stops and starts to cough and gag.

Balki reaches into his mouth with his pinky and extracts the ant.  "Why donít you try to get his little heart going?" Larry suggests flippantly.  "Okay," Balki says, and he places the ant back on the counter.  Balki then places his palms down over the ant and presses down firmly, sealing Mitchís fate once and for all.  Larry calmly gets a Kleenex as Balki looks around once again for the missing ant.  Larry wipes Mitch off Balkiís hand and announces, "Balki . . . heís gone."  Larry flicks Mitch from the Kleenex and out the door.  Balki starts to sob.  "Now what happened?" Larry asks.  "Cousin, I was in the back yard picking Mary Anneís morning bouquet . . . "  He gives a kiss toward Mary Anne and she returns it.  " . . . and I went over to my ant farm to give them their good morning hug and as I put them down one by one they starting dropping like . . . "  He searches for the right word.  " . . . ants.  I need a drink."

Balki walks to the kitchen table and drinks the last bit of milk from a glass.  "Well, Balki, you . . . youíve had that ant farm for about four and a half years," Larry points out, "Thatís pretty much the life expectancy for ants."  "Not these ants, Cousin," Balki argues, "They were happy . . . healthy . . . had everything to live for."  "Well, I tell you what you do," Larry says, "Get a piece of bread, go outside, throw it on the ground.  By noon youíll have a whole new ant farm.  Now, who wants another pop tart?"  "Oh, I do," Jennifer answers immediately.  Larry walks over to the toaster when Balki jumps up, suddenly realizing, "Wait a minute, Cousin!  Iíve just . . . Iíve just figured out what this all means.  Iíve got the curse!"  "The curse?" Larry asks, "What curse?"  "The curse!" Balki exclaims, "The Exterminiki Curse!  It brings instant death to anything I touch."  Larry looks confused, then asks, "What are you talking about?"

"Cousin, this has plagued the Bartokomous family for generations," Balki explains, "In 1583, an ancestor of mine, Porkos the Butcher, tried to pass off yak knuckles as pig knuckles.  Well, you can imagine the brouhaha.  The incensed population marched up to the great and powerful Wizard of Mypos, Dave, so he put a curse on Porkos and all his descendants which brings destruction and death to anything the cursed person touches."  "Now let me get this straight," Jennifer interjects, "Your family curse has returned and anything you touch dies which is why your ants bought the farm."  "Yes," Balki confirms.  "Larry, are you getting that Pop Tart?" Jennifer asks impatiently.  "Oh!" Larry remembers, and he goes to the toaster.  Mary Anne gets up from the table and approaches Balki, asking, "Oh, Balki.  Why you?  Why now?"  "Why ask why?" Balki replies, then adds, "But Iíll tell you anyway.  It . . . it just kind of slipped my mind but in his twenty-ninth year each male member of the Bartokomous family develops a really bad case of . . . Exterminiki."

"Oh my poor . . . " Mary Anne begins, walking toward Balki.  "Donít touch me!  Donít touch me!" Balki cries, "Stand back, Mary Anne.  I am a walking death machine."  "But youíre my walking death machine!" Mary Anne protests, and she walks toward him again.  "No!" Balki yells, causing Mary Anne to jump back.  "Hey, hey, hey, hey," Larry says, stepping forward, "Calm down!  Calm down!  Youíre not a walking death machine and youíre not cursed!"  Larry motions for Mary Anne to return to the kitchen table.  "You . . . you . . . youíre just a . . . a little upset because you watched your . . . your little buddies drop dead one by one," Larry continues, "I mean, that . . . thatís understandable."  "Cousin, I loved that ant farm," Balki agrees, "I will never forget the look on little Binkiís face as he fell off his little ant tractor and he looked up at me as if to say, ĎWhatís it all about, Balki?í"  "Well, Balki, I . . . I know this is a terrible loss for you but thereís got to be a . . . a logical explanation for what happened," Larry offers.

As Larry speaks he keeps motioning toward Balki, who continues to pull away from Larry nervously.  "I got it!" Larry announces, "Now, it was a very hot day yesterday.  The ants probably couldnít take the heat.  I should have let you air condition that ant farm when you asked.  See?  So Iím the one to blame.  Not you!  Youíre not cursed!"  "Cousin, you . . . you really think Iím not cursed?" Balki asks hopefully.  "Of course not!" Larry insists, "Donít be ridiculous!"  Balki and Larry both look confused for a moment.  "Well, in that case . . . never mind," Balki smiles, "Iíll just go outside and get Mary Anneís bouquet.  Um, listen, I donít know what you folks are doing later but the funeral is at two.  Iíd like each of you to say something."  Balki walks out through the door into the back yard.

Larry gets the Pop Tarts out of the toaster and carries them over to Jennifer.  "Larry, Iím very proud of the way you handled that," Jennifer notes, "You handled it well."  "Well, over the years I . . . Iíve learned how to handle Balki," Larry explains, "You might want to take note of this, Mary Anne.  See, you just, uh, listen to his silly, Myposian ravings . . . then you spoon-feed him logic, he says, ĎThank you, Cousin,í and everything is fine."  Balki enters through the back door looking serious.  He is carrying several wilted and dead flowers in his hand.  "Mary Anneís flowers," he explains, "They were fresh just a moment ago.  I killed them.  I have the Exterminiki Curse.  STAND BACK!  If I touch you . . . you die."

Three days later, Mary Anne is sitting on the couch in the living room reading a newspaper.  Larry and Jennifer enter through the front door carrying pillows.  "Hi," Mary Anne greets them, "How was Lamaze class?"  "Same as usual," Jennifer answers as they sit on the couch, "They showed the film and Larry fainted.  We did the breathing and Larry fainted.  We had a coffee break and Larry fainted."  "Well, the last faint was a fake faint," Larry insists, "I just didnít want to talk to the Bickleys.  I mean, itís always Ďour fetus thisí and Ďour fetus that.í  Howís Balki doing?  Has he come out of his room yet?"  "Oh, his mother express mailed the Exterminiki Curse remedy and heís up there now testing it on some flowers," Mary Anne explains.  "Balki, howís it goiní up there?" Larry calls.  "Well, Cousin, I . . . I think it works!" Balki calls down, "I havenít dazed the daisies."

"Well, he . . . he probably had to drink some disgusting concoction made of pig by-products," Larry guesses, "Heíll smell like a slaughterhouse all day but, uh . . . itíll be worth it."  Balki comes down the stairs wearing a horribly atrocious looking grey suit.  It looks as if it is made from the same material used on pot holders with some twine tassels on the top and down the front.  Balki walks around to the front of the couch and everyone looks startled when they see him.  "Boy, am I lucky!" Balki states, "I thought Mama was gonna send me the big, ugly suit."  Balki sits down on the couch between Jennifer and Mary Anne.  "All I have to do is wear this suit and our lives can get back to normal," Balki says, then he reaches for the newspaper on Mary Anneís lap and says, "Whatís this?  The business section?  Huh."  He licks the mitt on one hand and tries to open the paper, but canít with the big, clunky mitts.

That night, Larry, Jennifer and Mary Anne are sitting at the kitchen table as Balki stands by the counter trying to prepare a salad.  Heís not having much luck using the giant mitts for anything.  "Okay, Balki . . . Balki . . . Balki," Larry gets up and tries to help, "Let me serve the salad."  "No, Cousin . . ." Balki argues.  "Just let me serve the salad."  "Cousin, please . . . please, no," Balki begs.  "Just let me serve it . . . let me serve it . . . Balki . . . "  "Cousin, please donít do this," Balki begs, "Listen . . . listen . . . the only way Iím going to get adjusted back into society is with mitts-on experience."  Larry thinks a moment, then says, "No, Iíll . . . "  "Cousin, please . . . please!" Balki insists.  Larry gives up and returns to the table to sit down.  "I think we should respect Balkiís feelings," Mary Anne notes, "We need to treat him like any normal person with the touch of death."

Balki struggles to pull the salad fork and spoon from the bowl and starts to try to toss the salad, getting it everywhere.  Balki then picks up the bowl and carries it over to Larry, tilting it and using his mitt to push some of the salad out of the bowl and onto Larryís plate.  A lot of the salad falls on the table, on the floor and on Larry as well.  Balki then shakes the bowl to dump more salad on the plate faster.  He moves to his plate and decides, "None for me, thanks."  He then shakes the bowl over Mary Anneís plate.  Balki debates a moment before just tossing the last of the salad in the direction of Jenniferís plate, getting it all over the table and Jennifer.  Balki sets the empty salad bowl on the counter and picks up a small bottle, which he brings to the table.  "Dressing?" he asks as Larry ducks.  "Uh, no!" Jennifer says, "Uh, why donít we just go on to the main course?  Okay?"

"Oh, all righty," Balki agrees, "I made roast beef.  I hope thatís okay.  Itís no toad pot pie but then again, what is?"  "Well, it smells delicious, Balki," Mary Anne smiles, then she gives Larry a look and adds, "Right?"  No one replies.  "Oh come on, Jennifer!" Mary Anne cries, "If Larry were dressed like a human pot holder Iíd help you!"  Balki takes the pan with the roast beef out of the oven and proceeds to drop it onto the counter.  Balki rights the pan and gets the roast beef back inside.  "All right," Larry sighs impatiently as he gets up and walks into the kitchen, "Balki, let me serve the roast beef."  "No," Balki argues, "Cousin, I . . . "  "Let me serve the roast beef."  "Let me . . . I got to explain something to you . . . "  "Let me serve it.  Donít fight me on this.  Do not fight me on this!"  "Listen . . . listen to me . . . "  "Just let me serve the roast beef . . . "  "Donít . . . donít . . . "  "Donít interrupt me," Larry insists, and he grabs the pan from Balkiís mitts.

Larry immediately lets out a loud scream and sets the pan back into Balkiís mitts.  Larry holds his hands up in pain and walks back to the table to sit down.  "I was just going to point out that the pan is hot," Balki finally explains.  Larry reaches over and sticks each hand into a glass of iced tea.  Balki carries the roast beef over to the table then trips, dumping the pan and the beef onto Larry and then falling onto him.  Larry screams out, crying, "Ow!  Ow!  Ow!"  Balki gets back onto his feet and gasps, "Sorry, Cousin!  Sorry, Cousin!  Sorry, Cousin!  Sorry, Couin!  Would you . . . ?"  Balki motions to the roast beef on the floor.  "Would . . . ?  No, donít, donít, donít worry.  I have a surprise for you.  I baked bread!"  "Is it hot?" Larry asks.  "No," Balki answers.  "Oh good . . . good," Larry sighs, "Bread is good.  Nice soft, safe bread."  Balki walks back into the kitchen, stumbling.  A moment later he holds up a large knife and asks, "Have these knives been sharpened?"

"No!  No!  No!" Larry cries, jumping up from the table and running around behind Jennifer shouting, "No bread!  No bread!  Just . . . no . . . no, put the knife down!  Put the knife down!"  Balki puts the knife down onto the counter.  Balki then walks across the kitchen and grabs the coffee pot from the coffee maker.  "I almost forgot the coffee," he says.  "No!  No!  No, no!" Larry cries, running back around the table to stop Balki, "No coffee!  No!  Put it back!  Just put it back!  Put it back!"  Larry then grabs Balkiís arm and pulls him to the table, saying, "All right . . . all right, now come on.  Sit down.  Just sit down.  Sit down!  Sit!  Sit!"  He pushes Balki down into his chair.  "Sit!  Stay!" Larry orders, "Stay!"  "All right," Balki sighs.  Larry sits down at the table and sighs, "Now, Balki, tell me . . . how long can we expect this curse to last?"

"Well, the average shelf-life of a curse is somewhere in between four days and . . . forty-seven years," Balki answers.  "Forty-seven years?" Larry asks with a pained expression.  "How do we know when itís over?" Jennifer asks.  "Well, could it be when your friends are wearing their dinner and suffering third degree burns?" Larry cries.  "No, that only happens when you throw a dinner party on a volcano," Balki jokes, then he laughs at his own joke and mouths, "Where do I come up with them?"  "Cousin, you know the curse is over when you touch someone with your bare hands and they donít die," Balki finishes, "Until then, my flesh must not touch anotherís."  "Oh Balki, youíre just like the boy in the plastic bubble," Mary Anne sighs sadly, "I wish we had a bubble built for two."  Mary Anne and Balki lean toward each other, preparing to kiss.  At the last moment Balki screams, "NO!" and pulls away, moving his chair further from Mary Anneís.  "No!  We must not," Balki sighs, then realizes, "God, I almost kissed you to death.  Mary Anne, youíre gonna have to go to your Mamaís house for a few days."  "Well, itíll rip my heart out but if you think itís best," Mary Anne sighs.

"What is the matter with you?" Larry cries in exasperation, "There is no curse!  Are Jennifer and I the only sane ones here?"  "Well, actually, I thought Iíd go with Mary Anne," Jennifer says.  Larry grabs his hair with frustration and cries, "What?"  "Well, Larry, nine times out of ten, strange as it may seem, Balkiís Myposian myths turn out to be true," Jennifer points out, "I mean, remember the time he wore that hat with the weather vane on it and he made it rain?"  Larry gets a look of frustrated resignation on his face.  "Come on, Mary Anne, letís pack," Jennifer suggests.  The girls get up from the table and leave the kitchen.  "Well, great," Larry moans, "This is just great.  Youíve . . . youíve driven my wife from my home."  "Iím sorry, Cousin," Balki sighs, "Can I freshen your iced tea?"  "Yeah, sure," Larry sighs.  Balki struggled to upright Larryís glass.  Larry finally just grabs a glass and sets it up for Balki angrily.  Balki picks up the pitcher of tea and lifts it to pour into Larryís glass, only he ends up pouring it into Larryís lap instead.  On their reactions the scene fades to black.

Act two begins with an establishing shot of the house at night and the caption "The Next Evening."  We hear Balki saying, "Sorry, Cousin.  I thought I could draw Dimitri with my mitts on.  I was wrong."  We see Balki and Larry enter the kitchen through the back door, each carrying a box of take-out fried chicken.  "Well, this has been quite a day," Larry sighs sarcastically, "My wife has left me, my career is over and Iím eating take-out dinner with Oven Mitt Man.  Maybe Iím the one whoís cursed."  "Oh, Cousin, youíre not cursed except maybe . . . in the fact that . . . you have me as a Cousin," Balki sighs sadly.  Larry looks disgusted and starts to eat a piece of chicken.  "Hey, Cousin, they . . . they give me extra cole slaw," Balki points out, "Do you want it?"  "No, I do not want your cole slaw!" Larry insists angrily, "I do not want your cole slaw.  All I want to do is sit and enjoy my dinner, maybe watch a little TV.  And donít even think about using the remote!"

Balki struggles to eat his chicken, tossing the box up to try to grab something with his mouth.  Balki picks up a wing from the table and says, "Iíll trade you a . . . a cajun wing for a southern-fried thigh."  Larry shakes his head and continues to eat, then coughs and starts to choke on a piece of chicken.  Balki watches this with mild interest as Larry thrashes and gasps for air.  "Are you choking?" Balki asks sarcastically.  Larry nods.  "And would you like me to take off my mitts and give you the Heimlich Maneuver?" Balki asks sarcastically.  Larry nods desperately.  Balki eats his chicken and then slaps the back of Larryís head and sighs, "Iím getting a little sick of your pathetic attempts to get me to take off my mitts."  Larry has sunk down to the floor and is barely hanging on to the table as Balki continues eating.  "I tell ya . . . " Balki sighs.

After a moment, Balki says, "You know, this chicken needs something.  Gonna see if we have any paprika."  Balki gets up and walks into the pantry.  Unable to speak, Larry motions desperately to Balki as he walks away.  Larry pulls himself up and struggles to reach the counter.  He hangs on, motioning and gasping.  Balki walks out of the pantry and stands, looking at Larry coldly as Larry mouths, "Help me!  Help me!"  "Oh, you want some, too?" Balki says, "Iíll go get some from the pantry."  Balki walks back into the pantry as Larry continues to gasp and writhe.  Balki walks back out and hands Larry the bottle of paprika before sitting back down at the table.  Larry struggles to return to the table and collapses across it again, grabbing at Balkiís suit and mouthing in despair.

"Okay, Iíll play along," Balki sighs, "Knock three times on the table if youíre faking, twice on your head if the answer is no."  Larry hits himself on the head twice but Balki doesnít notice.  Larry gets Balkiís attention and hits himself on the head twice more.  "Uh oh!" Balki says as Larry pounds continuously at his head, "Oh, Cousin, youíre really choking?"  Larry points at Balki and to his nose to let him know heís got it.  "I bet . . . ah . . . oh . . . Iíd better . . . better give you the Heimlich Maneuver," Balki says as he stands up behind Larry, "Come on, stand up."  Larry is too weak to stand.  "Come on, get up!" Balki yells, "Get up!"  Balki reaches down and grabs Larry around the middle to lift him up.  Balki tries performing the Heimlich Maneuver but nothing happens.

Larry slaps at Balkiís hands.  "Oh . . . oh, Cousin, I . . . I cannot take off my mitts," Balki says, "And I . . . oh . . . "  Balki sees Larry is starting to lose consciousness, so he pulls off the mitts and grabs Larry around the middle, performing the Heimlich Maneuver properly.  After two tries, Larry spits out the piece of chicken he was choking on and gasps for air, clutching Balki desperately as he struggles to remain on his feet.  "Balki . . . you saved my life," Larry gasps.  "Cousin, do you realize what just happened?" Balki asks.  "Yes," Larry smiles, then he screams, "You almost let me DIE!"  "No, Cousin, I touched you with my bare hands and you . . . you didnít die!" Balki points out, "The curse is over!  Now we are so happy, we do the Dance of Joy!"  Balki and Larry perform the Dance of Joy, although Larry struggles all the way through it, unable to sing and barely able to keep his feet.  At the end Larry is barely able to lift one leg into Balkiís arms and the episode ends.

The extended part of the dinner scene is shown over the end credits.  Balki and Larry are at the kitchen table.  "You made my favorite dessert," Larry sighs.  "Oh Cousin, I . . . I know it cannot make up for this disastrous meal but . . . "  Balki gets up from the table and walks to the counter.  "Yeah, you . . . you slaved away all day in that hot suit making my favorite dessert . . . and all I could think of is how miserable I am," Larry sighs, not noticing that Balki has moved to a silver chafing dish on the counter and is trying to turn on a butane lighter.  "Boy, what . . . what . . . what is wrong with me?  Come on, buddy.  The two of us are gonna sit down here together and have some cherries flambť."  Larry turns to see Balki approaching, carrying the flaming chafing dish.  Larry struggles to get away from Balki as the credits end.

Script Variations:
There are some major differences between the shooting script dated July 27, 1992 and the episode which aired:
- At the beginning of the episode, after Mary Anne explains to Larry that Balki wants to pick just the right flowers for her morning bouquet, she adds, "Picking flowers and singing to the worms is his morning meditation."
- The story behind the curse is different in the script.  Balki explains, "In 1584, my ancestor, Grippos, soon to be known as 'Death Grippos,' ran away with the wife of Lactos the Milkman.  Of course, according to my family, the marriage was in trouble from the start.  They never talked.  I mean, we all know the importance of communication . . . "  "Balki, shut up and continue," Larry urges.  "Anyway, to make a short story long, Lactos hired a wizard to put a curse on Grippos and all his descendants which brings destruction to anyone or anything the cursed man touches," Balki finishes.  Later after Mary Anne asks, "Why you?  Why now?" and Balki explains how it slipped his mind, he continues, "but in his twenty-ninth year, every Bartokomous male develops a Lactos intolerance."
- After Larry assures Balki he's not cursed and says, "Don't be ridiculous," Balki sighs, "Whew, talk about a guilt trip . . . "
- When Balki comes back into the kitchen with the dead flowers he simply says, "I killed Mary Anne's flowers," and doesn't talk about how they were fresh only moments before.
- Larry explaining that his last faint was a fake faint because he didn't want to talk to the Bickley's is not in this script.
- Balki's line about not "dazing the daisies" is not in this script.
- After Balki comes down with the suit on he doesn't mention that he was worried Mama would send him the big, ugly suit.  And at the end of the scene he asks, "Who's up for a movie?" instead of looking at the newspaper.
- After Balki spills the iced tea on Larry, he asks, "Can I get those ice cubes?"  "Don't touch me," Larry complains, "Don't touch anything.  Sit down.  I'm scalded, stained and single.  I think you've done enough for one night."  "I know what will make you feel better," Balki offers, "I made your favorite dessert."  "You ruined my life," Larry says.  "I'm sorry, Cousin," Balki sighs, "You're right.  I've been selfish.  I've been thinking only about myself just because I'm going to be trapped inside this big, ugly, itchy suit for the rest of my life.  And, it's particularly difficult for someone of my fashion sense.  Look at me, I look like a baked potato."  "You made my favorite dessert?" Larry asks.  "Well, I tried my best," Balki sighs.  This is when Larry says, "You made my favorite dessert," and the scene plays out as shown under the end credits.
- Scene D was completely cut from the aired episode.  It took place in the City Room.  Balki and Larry are pushed out of the elevator by an angry mob.  Larry is steamed.  "Well, what crawled up their shorts?" Balki asks.  "Everyone in the building hates us," Larry complains, "Your mitts touched all the buttons.  Just do me a favor, Balki.  Try to get through the rest of the day without embarrassing me."  The elevator opens and Mr. Wainwright enters.  "Who's the idiot who pushed all the elevator buttons?" he asks.  "That would be this idiot, sir," Larry answers, pointing to Balki.  Balki waves a mitt at Mr. Wainwright.  "Bartokomous, I want to talk to you about the Dimitri cartoon you turned in," Mr. Wainwright says.  "Balki turned in a cartoon this week?" Larry asks with surprise, "I wasn't aware of that, sir."  "It's terrible," Mr. Wainwright says.  "I'm sorry," Balki offers, "I'm still breaking in these mitts."  "Do it over and this time use your hands," Mr. Wainwright suggests, "Why the hell are you wearing those mitts?"  "They go with the suit, sir," Balki answers, "You see, I have the Extreminiki . . . "  Larry laughs to cover up Balki's story.  "Spare me the explanation, Bartokomous," Mr. Wainwright sighs, "Just have a usable cartoon on my desk by tomorrow morning."  "Oh, we will, sir, I'll see that it's perfect, sir," Larry promises.  "Oh, I know you will," Mr. Wainwright agrees, "Because if you don't, you'll be out of a job."  Mr. Wainwright gets into the elevator and exits.  Balki and Larry go back to their desks as they speak.  "Balki, did you hear that?" Larry asks.  "Of course I did, I'm cursed, not deaf," Balki counters, "Once I get used to these things, I'll be able to draw better than ever."  Balki holds a pencil in his teeth and sharpens it.  He puts the pencil in his mitt and can't hold onto it and it drops.  He repeats this process twice more and notices there are no more pencils in his holder.  "Not a problem," Balki insists.  Balki reaches under his desk and brings up a carton of pencils.  "Balki, listen to me, you don't need your mitts to draw Dimitri," Larry says, "You can't kill a pencil."  "I know that," Balki replies, "But if I take off the mitts and I draw a wonderful cartoon, we'd be so happy we'd do the Dance of Joy like we always do.  And by the last, 'die, die, die' you'd be dead, dead, dead.  You might want to take a break.  I'm going to be here a while."  Balki picks up a pencil from the carton.  "Balki, you're not cursed," Larry insists, "I'll prove it to you.  Take off the mitts and shake my hand.  I won't die and if I do, it couldn't be any worse than what I'm going through now."  "I cannot take off the mitts, Cousin," Balki says, "A cursed man has got to do what a cursed man had got to do."  "You know, buddy, it's got to be awfully hot in that suit," Larry tries another tact.  "Well it is a little toasty," Balki admits, "I guess Mama sent me the winter suit.  Of course, it's going to come in handy on our next ski trip."  "Yes, I suppose it will," Larry muses, "Okay, how about this.  Research had shown that lack of oxygen to the extremities causes serious hand diseases.  The medical term is 'digit deprivation.'  In more common language, your fingers fall off."  "Cousin, I don't want my fingers to fall off," Balki says worriedly.  "I know, buddy . . . what to do, what to do," Larry thinks, then, "I got it.  No that won't work and anyway, you might have already lost a thumb.  Forget it."  "Please, tell me, Cousin," Balki begs, "I need my fingers for my shadow animals, especially the peacock.  It's such a hit at parties."  "Well, this is a little wacky," Larry begins, "But if someone who understands the severity of your problem, say, like me, were to stand guard, you could take those mitts off and let your fingers breathe.  Who knows, you might be able to save six or eight of them."  "You'd do that for me, Cousin?" Balki asks gratefully.  "Your pain is my pain," Larry assures him, "Get 'em off."  Balki removes the mitts and takes inventory of his fingers.  As soon as he is satisfied, he attempts to make his fingers breathe.  "Balki, I feel like I'm going to faint," Larry says suddenly, "That food poisoning thing is coming back.  I'm going to faint.  No time to put on your mitts.  Catch me.  I'm going.  I'm going."  Balki watches impassively as Larry hits the floor.  Larry extends his arms toward Balki.  "On Mypos we have a saying," Balki says, "The bigger the liar, the harder they fall."  Balki puts his mitts on as the scene ends.
- After Balki asks Larry if he wants some paprika, too, he says, "Let me just get the whole box."
- There was also an end scene which was cut from the final episode.  After they do the Dance of Joy, moments later they enter the living room from the kitchen.  Balki is wearing the suit without mitts.  "Cousin, now that I'm no longer cursed, I can pick flowers, I can shake hands, I can do the eensy-weensy spider."  Balki does the song.  Jennifer and Mary Anne enter.  "Hi, guys," Mary Anne smiles.  "What are you two doing back?" Larry asks.  "We couldn't stay away another night," Jennifer explains.  "Balki, I married you for better or for worse," Mary Anne says, "Other couples work through their problems all the time, there's no reason we can't.  Some husbands snore, you have the touch of death.  We'll deal with it."  "Mary Anne, good news," Balki smiles, "I don't snore and the curse is over."  Balki opens his arms and walks to Mary Anne.  She sees his bare hands.  "It is," Mary Anne says, "Oh, Balki, I'm so happy."  Balki and Mary Anne rush into one another's arms and give one another a long hello kiss.  "I really missed you, Jen," Larry says.  Larry and Jennifer hug and kiss.  Larry then says to Balki, "Boy, bet you can't wait to get out of your curse-buster."  "I'll say," Balki agrees, "It'll be great to get out of this and get into my decompression suit for a few days."  "What is it?" Larry asks, "Yak hide with matching mitts?"  "No, it's a tasteful Armani with a subtle pinstripe and seven-foot wings," Balki explains.

Continue on to the next episode . . .