Perfect Strangers Episode Guide

EPISODE 150 -  Up, Up and Away, Part Two

First Air Date: August 6, 1993
Filming Date: August 26, 1992
Nielsen Rating: 11.0 HH

Produced by: Alan Plotkin
Created by: Dale McRaven
Written by: Paula A. Roth
Directed by: Judy Askins

Cast:
Bronson Pinchot: Balki Bartokomous
Mark Linn-Baker: Larry Appleton
Melanie Wilson: Jennifer Appleton
Rebeca Arthur: Mary Anne Bartokomous

Guest Cast:
Mitch Carter: Captain Fred
Newell Alexander: Ken Wiley

upupaway02grab01.jpg (55195 bytes)Dimitri Appearances: Dimitriís photo can be see on the fireplace mantel.

Balki-isms:
"My arches have fallen and I canít get up."

Donít be ridiculous: Said twice in this episode.

Other catchphrases used in this episode:
"Oh my Lord!"
Balki makes a statement which goes, "Well, something something and call me something," in this case, "Well, toss my greens and call me Caesar."
"Where do I come up with them?"

Other running jokes used in this episode:
Larry grabs Balki by the shirt
Balki laughs at his own joke
Jennifer throttles Larry
The Dance of Joy
Mary Anne says something profound, then offers a bizarre reason for knowing it

Notable Moments:
Jennifer gives birth to hers and Larryís son, Tucker Appleton.

Songs: "Unforgettable" - sung by Nat King Cole during the montage sequence
"Itsy Bitsy Scorpion" - sung by Balki to babies Robespierre and Tucker

Interesting facts:
-
Even though part one of this two part episode aired right before, there was still an opening recap of the last episode shown to bring viewers up to speed on the plot.
- Mitch Carter, who played the Eye in the Sky news reporter Captain Fred, has made numerous appearances in television shows such as Alias Smith and Jones, Adam-12, Emergency, Marcus Welby, M.D., The Waltons, The Fall Guy, The Dukes of Hazzard, TJ Hooker, L.A. Law, Home Improvement, Chicago Hope, Big Love and Criminal Minds.  He has also had a recurring role in the series Sordid Lives.
- Newell Alexander, who played the voice of newscaster Ken Wiley in this episode, had previously played the character Billy Joe Bob in the sixth season episode A Catered Affair.
- This was the seriesí last episode ever and it also happened to be the 150th episode of the series.
upupaway03.jpg (38560 bytes)- The filmingís final curtain call was filmed and shown under the end credits of the episode.  When Mark addresses the audience it is right after he and Bronson have performed the Dance of Joy.  This was also filmed by Entertainment Tonight and shown on September 2, 1992.  You can view that report on our YouTube Channel.
- The montage segment was shown to the studio audience on the monitors above the seats.  The version shown was the same as that which appeared as part of the final gag reel and not the one which ultimately aired on television.
- Just before the final Dance of Joy was performed at the final curtain call, a poem written just moments before (after the montage was shown) by Linda Kay, the founder of P.S. I Love You!, was read aloud to the cast, crew and audience.  This is the poem that was written for them and was meant to represent the sentiments of all the fans who couldnít attend the final filming:
Could it have been just six years ago
We turned on our TVs to find
Two cousins, one tense, just a little bit crazed
The other warmhearted and kind.
We had no idea when we first met these guys
That theyíd be part of our families;
Weíve laughed with them, cried with them
And watched with great joy as their dreams became realities.
With Mary Anne, Jennifer, Gorpley and Lydia
Wainwright and Dimitri to tickle us;
Did we come to rely on the laughs that they gave?
Well, of course we did, donít be ridiculous.
Youíve all make your mark on our lives with your work
As few shows indelibly do;
And youíll live on forever in all of our hearts
P.S., we will always love you.

- While this final episode was filmed on August 26, 1992, it would be almost an entire year before it was actually aired on ABC on August 6, 1993.

Bloopers and Inconsistencies:
-
Before the opening credits there is a montage of clips from part one of Up, Up and Away which includes an alternative scene!  When Balki faints in the previous episode, Larry stands and watches him keel over.  But in the one shown before this episode Larry turns and runs away before Balki faints!
- A few odd outtakes are actually shown during the montage sequence.  These include a scene from Missing which shows Balki holding Larry by the head and swinging him around as if to make him sign his name with his nose the way Larry had done to Balki during that episode.  Then there is a tiny segment from the "all in the legs" segment from the episode Piano Movers in which Larry and Balki are adding a little flair to the move.  Finally there is a shot from the missing scene of Lethal Weapon in which Balki, dressed n his Oven Mitt Man outfit, points over his shoulder to Larry while they are at the Chicago Chronicle.


Synopsis:
The episode begins with an establishing shot of the hot air balloon high above the ground.  Jennifer, Larry and Balki are in the basket looking down.  "Larry, weíre going up too fast," Jennifer says worriedly, "Iím feeling strange."  "No, itís okay!  Itís okay, Jennifer!" Larry insists, "Everything is gonna be okay."  Larry turns to Balki and says, "Well, I hope youíre happy!  We have no way of getting back down to the ground, thanks to you!"  "Cousin, this is no time to place blame," Balki says calmly, "Sure, weíre no longer tethered to Mother Earth but weíre . . . weíre communing with Father Sky and all his airy children . . . the wind, the clouds . . . that plane!  Duck!"  Balki and Larry both duck down into the basket.  After a moment they pop back up and Balki says, "Just kidding.  But see what fun you can have up here?"

Balki starts swinging the basket and shouting like a kid. Larry reaches over and grabs Balki by the shirt.  "Balki, donít do that to me again!" Larry warns.  "Come on, Cousin!  Come on!" Balki urges, "Loosen up!  Loosen up!  Have fun with it!  Have fun with it!"  Balki massages Larryís shoulders and then grabs Larryís head and swings it around, trying to get Larry to loosen up.  "Feel the wind whooshing up your pants leg and out your arm!" Balki exclaims, grabbing Larryís arm and going, "Whoosh!  Whee!  Whoosh!  Whee!  Whoosh!  Whee!"  "All right, stop it!  Stop!" Larry cries.  "May I interrupt this stimulating discussion to say something?" Jennifer asks.  "Yes.  Sure," Larry says, "Tell Balki heís an idiot."  "Iím in labor," Jennifer announces.  "You see?  She agrees with me!" Larry tells Balki, "Youíre in labor!"  Larry suddenly realizes what Jennifer has said and turns to her in shock, asking, "What?"  "Iím in labor," Jennifer repeats.

"Oh . . . oh . . . oh my Lord!" Larry exclaims, "Are . . . are you saying that youíre in labor?"  "Iím saying Iím having a contraction," Jennifer confirms as she takes Larryís hand, "NOW!"  Jennifer squeezes Larryís hand tightly.  "Oh!  Ow!" Larry cries, "Okay, youíre hurting me!  Youíre hurting me!  Ow!  Ow, ow, ow!"  Balki walks around to Jennifer and says, "Well, toss my greens and call me Caesar.  Jennifer . . . Jennifer, our theory was correct!  Going up in the balloon is what made Mary Anne go into labor.  I mean, do you realize what this means?  Expectant mothers everywhere will thank us!  Weíve given a great gift to humanity!"  "Yeah, yeah . . . humanity," Larry repeats callously, "Right . . . okay, listen . . . Jennifer, do . . . do you think that . . . ?"  Larry tries to get around to the other side of Jennifer and trips over Balki, who is trying to move away.  "Watch it!" Larry warns Balki angrily.

"Do you . . . do you think this could be another false alarm?" Larry asks.  "No, this is no false alarm, Larry," Jennifer insists, "Uh . . . I think my contractions are about, uh . . . eight minutes apart?"  "Well, all right, then we still have plenty of time," Larry assures her, "Weíll be down on the ground before you have your next contraction."  Jennifer smiles, then suddenly she starts squeezing Larryís hand painfully again as she moans, "Oh god!  Another oneís starting!"  "All right, okay, all right," Larry says, "I was wrong about that but, Jen . . . Jen, shouldnít you be doing your Lamaze breathing in . . . instead of trying to hurt me?"  "Larry, I never planned on doing the breathing," Jennifer confesses, "I planned on having painkillers.  Lots of them!  The only reason I was in that stupid class was because it was the only place I could be where I wasnít the fattest woman in the room!  Larry, I donít want to have this baby in a balloon!"

"Jennifer, Jennifer, youíre not going to have this baby in a balloon," Balki assures her.  "I wonít?" Jennifer asks hopefully.  "Well, of course not!  Donít be ridiculous!" Balki says, "Youíre going to have this baby in a flimsy wicker basket suspended from a balloon.  One with lots of patches in it, I might add."  "Okay, donít help," Larry urges.  "Look at that one!" Balki points up.  "Donít help!  Do not help!  Do not help!" Larry insists.  "Iím just trying to . . . "  "Thank you!  Thank you!" Larry continues, "Thank you very much.  Okay, Jen?  Jen?  Weíre just gonna relax and . . . and . . . why . . . why donít we, uh, try to think of some funny stories?"  "Oh!" Balki exclaims, "Oh!  I got one!  I got one!  Okay . . . a pig, a butcher and a rabbi are getting off a bus . . . "  "Okay, donít help," Larry interrupts, "Donít help!  Donít help!  Do not help!  Do not help!"  "I want to tell the story!" Balki cries, jumping up and down.  "All right!  All right, stop it!" Larry shouts.

After a moment both Larry and Balki calm down.  "You still want to hear it?" Balki asks, then continues, "Okay.  Um . . . oh, did I mention that the pig could talk?  I canít do the piggy little accent but anyway heís all trussed up in this . . . "  Larry runs to Balki and pulls his aside, grabbing his shirt again.  "If you donít shut up Iím gonna throw you to your death," Larry threatens, "Balki!  My wife is having a baby!"  "Well, youíve known that for months," Balki points out, smiling.  "No, I mean she is having a baby now in . . . in this balloon!" Larry explains, "And I havenít the foggiest idea what to do!"  "Oh, is that what all this mishi gastiki is about?" Balki asks, "Cousin, chill out!  I know something about birthiní babies."  "You do, Balki?" Jennifer asks.  "Why sure!" Balki insists, "Iíve delivered my share of babies and livestock.  If you were gonna deliver a sheep I could do that blindfolded.  As a matter of fact, thatís how we do it back home.  You really donít wanna look.  Oh my goodness, thereís . . . thereís all . . . you have to have a thing . . . a bib that comes from here down to your toes . . . "

"Okay, thatís it!  Thatís it!" Larry insists, pulling Balki away from Jennifer, "Youíre going over the side!"  Larry pushes Balki to the edge of the balloon and pushes him so that heís leaning over the edge.  "Cousin!  Oh!  Oh!  Oh!" Balki cries.  "Larry, somethingís wrong!" Jennifer cries, "Weíre going up again!"  "Found the problem!" Balki calls, and Larry pulls him back up.  "I know why weíre going up again," Balki says, "Eh . . . uh . . . the . . . the sandbag has a leak."  Larry looks over the edge to see that one of the sandbags is leaking sand quickly.  "Larry, weíre going up too high," Jennifer says worriedly, "Weíre gonna run out of oxygen!"  "Oh, no we wonít!" Balki insists.  "We wonít?" Jennifer asks hopefully.  "No!" Balki assures her, "Long before we run out of oxygen the atmosphere will replace the helium in the balloon and the balloon will explode and the . . . the rest will just upset you."

"All right!  All right!  Hold it!  Hold it!  Hold it!" Larry cries, "All right, now . . . two things have gotta happen here!  Number one, Balki has got to shut up!  And number two, someoneís gotta go over the side and repair the sandbag!  Okay, letís see . . . Jennifer, youíre in labor.  Iím your coach.  Balki, that leaves you.  Good luck, buddy."  "Cousin, I think I can help with part one of your plan," Balki replies, "I can shut up.  I think.  But, uh . . . uh, going over the side of the basket . . . it . . . letís see . . . uh, nope.  Nope.  Not gonna happen."  "Can somebody please go?" Jennifer begs, gripping the support in pain.  "Okay, okay, Iíll . . . Iíll go," Balki agrees, adding to Larry, "But not because you asked me!  For Jennifer!  Iím gonna do it for Jennifer!  And . . . and for Howard the balloon man because . . . because, uh . . . well, without his balloon Howard the balloon man is just . . . Howard the man."  Balki begins to climb over the side of the basket.

A short time later we see the balloon as it continues to rise higher.  Jennifer is now sitting down inside the basket and Larry is squatting down beside her, leading her through her Lamaze breathing.  "Okay, okay, keep breathing," Larry encourages, "Keep breathing.  Good.  Good.  All right . . . all right, and your contraction should be ending soon.  Yes?  Okay, cleansing breath."  Larry and Jennifer each breath in deeply together and release it together.  "Okay, all right," Larry smiles, "Youíre doing beautifully, Jen.  Youíre doing beautifully."  Larry then calls out, "Balki, how you doing?"  Balki is hanging off the side of the balloon by the leaking sandbag.  His legs are through the ropes at the bottom and heís used a handkerchief to stop up the hole in the sandbag.  "Uh, good, Cousin," Balki calls back, "Iíve got a nice strong grip on the sandbag and Iíve stopped the flow of sand with my handkerchief.  But when I pulled my handkerchief out of my pocket all the change in my pocket fell out but . . . thereís not a whole lot to spend it on up here.

Balki laughs at his own joke then asks, "Where do I come up with them?" as he loses his grip on the sandbag and falls backwards, now dangling from the ropes by his legs.  "Iím fine!  Iím fine!" Balki calls, "Donít worry about me!"  "Iím not!" Larry calls back, then tells Jennifer, "Okay, Jen, just . . . just try to relax until your next contraction."  "Itís amazing, Larry," Jennifer says, "This . . . this breathing stuff is really helping."  "And Iím gonna be with you every breath of the way," Larry assures her.  We see Balki is now hanging by his feet from the ropes on the bottom of the basket.  "Cousin?" Balki calls, "Cousin?"  "Balki, I canít talk to you right now!" Larry calls.  "Well, itís now or never," Balki answers, "Weíre about to drop a hundred and seventy-one and a half pounds of counterweight."  "Are we losing another sandbag?" Larry asks.  "No, but weíre losing a Balki," Balki sobs, "My arches have fallen and I canít get up.  Where do I come up with them?"

Larry gets up to look over the side of the basket and sees Balki dangling precariously by his feet.  He kneels back down next to Jennifer and sighs, "Oh . . . oh . . . oh . . . oh, heís right . . . weíre losing him.  Uh, okay . . . uh, Balki, Iím coming."  Larry starts to get up but Jennifer grabs him and pulls him back down.  "No!  No! No, Larry!  Donít leave me!  Iím afraid!  I donít want to have this baby alone!"  "Breathe!  Breathe!" Larry gasps as Jennifer holds his collar tightly.  "Oh, Larry, that breathing stuff is just a bunch of . . . "  "Not you!  Not you!" Larry gasps, "I canít breathe!"  Jennifer releases Larryís collar.  "All right, Jennifer . . . sweetheart . . . I . . . I know that this is . . . this is just a really bad time but Balki is about to plunge hundreds of feet to his death," Larry explains, "And I . . . I just thought that I ought to go and . . . and help him.  Now, Iíll . . . Iíll be back before your next contraction."  "Cousin!  Cousin!" Balki cries, "I donít mean to rush you but Iím hanging on by my toes!"  Jennifer nods and says, "Go get him."  "All right, all right," Larry says as he gets up and walks to the side of the basket with Jennifer still hanging onto his arm.

"All right, all right, sweetheart, you have to let go now," Larry urges her gently, "Youíre gonna have to let go."  Jennifer shakes her head in fear.  "Yes, you are," Larry says, reaching down to pull her left hand from his arm, "Just, here . . . grab the blanket.  Grab the blanket.  Okay, Iím gonna help you here.  Iím gonna help you.  Here we go.  There we go."  Larry pulls Jenniferís right hand from his arm finger by finger and lets her clutch onto the blanket thatís covering her instead.  "Iíll be right back.  Iíll be right back," Larry assures her, and he looks over the edge of the blanket and calls, "All right, Balki?"  Larry leans over the side of the basket.  "Balki, here, just . . . just grab my hand and Iíll . . . and Iíll pull you up.  Yeah, just . . . whoa!"  Larryís legs suddenly fall over the side of the basket, much to Jenniferís horror.  "Larry!  Larry!" Jennifer cries.  "Weíre fine!  Weíre fine!" Larry and Balki both call back.  We can see Balki is still dangling from the balloon by his feet and he is now holding Larry by the hair with one hand.  "Nice catch!" Larry says.  "I . . . I do try," Balki says, and the scene fades to black.

Act two begins where act one left off, with Balki holding Larry by the hair as they both dangle from the bottom of the balloon.  "You know, Cousin, all things considered, I think things are going rather well," Balki offers.  "Going rather well?" Larry asks, mocking Balkiís accent, "Balki, I am hanging hundreds of feet in the air by my hair, my wife is in labor and my . . . and my watch just fell off."  "Well, you know what they say, Cousin . . . Ďtime flies when youíre upside down!í" Balki laughs, then throws out his arms as he says, "Where do I come up with them?"  Balki lets go of Larryís hair but Larry manages to grab hold of Balkiís hair to keep from falling, causing Balki to cry out in pain.  "Larry, I need you!" Jennifer calls from inside the basket.  "Jen, Iíd really like to be with you right now but I . . . I think youíre gonna have to go on without me," Larry calls, "I . . . I . . . I just canít get there."  "Cousin," Balki says.  "Yeah?" Larry asks.  "I . . . I donít want Jennifer to hear," Balki says, "Uh, I . . . I didnít have time to wash my hair and Iím afraid you might slip.  Here."

Balki reaches down so Larry can grab onto his hands instead.  "Cousin, look over there!" Balki suddenly points, causing Larry to have to grab onto Balkiís left arm with both hands.  "Balki!  Balki!" Larry cries, "Donít let go of me again!"  "But . . . but Iím just trying to show you, Iím just trying to point out, that I see a big backup on the interstate but thereís . . . well, I canít see any reason for it," Balki says, continuing to point.  He has grabbed Larry by the nose to hang on to him.  "Well, maybe the reason is the sight of two men hanging from a balloon," Larry suggests, his voice sounding funny through his pinched nose.  "Where?" Balki asks, "Where?"  Balki looks around as the sound of a helicopter approaches.  "Oh Cousin, look!  Look!" Balki points with his other hand, holding Larry by the nose with his right hand instead, "Itís . . . itís . . . itís a helicopter!"  A helicopter hovers nearby.

Larry starts to pull himself up to the basket, using Balkiís clothes to climb.  "Larry, whatís going on?" Jennifer calls from the basket.  "Jen, thereís . . . thereís a police helicopter.  Itís on its way!  Weíre . . . weíre about to be rescued!" Larry calls as he reaches the ropes below the basket then reaches down to help Balki up.  "Well, tell them to hurry!" Jennifer calls. The helicopter hovers close by.  "Oh, Larry, Iíve changed my mind!" Jennifer calls out, "I donít want to do this!"  Balki and Larry are now hanging onto the ropes along the bottom of the basket by their hands.  "Thatís no police helicopter," Balki notes, "Thatís . . . thatís Captain Fred and Channel 8's ĎEye in the Sky!í  Hey!  Hey!  Captain Fred!  I watch you every night on . . . on television and I never thought Iíd live to be face to chopper with you!"  "Hang on, folks!" Captain Fred calls out over a loudspeaker, "Help is on the way!  In the meantime, smile!  Youíre on the evening news!"  Balki and Larry both smile.

Balki says, "This is so exciting!  Captain Fred?  Captain?  Iím Balki Bartokomous, and this is my cousin, Cousin Larry Appleton, and in the basket we have Cousin Larryís lovely wife, Jennifer.  Wave, Jennifer!"  Jenniferís hand waves from inside the basket.  "Jen, looks like things are working out for the best!" Larry calls, "Remember we talked about videotaping the birth?  Well, uh, itís . . . itís being done by professionals!"  "Yeah, Jennifer, Captain Fred is the best!" Balki confirms, "What the man does with perspective is amazing!  The man paints with videotape."  "Jen, how you doiní?" Larry calls.  When there isnít an immediate answer he calls again, "Jen?"  There is the sound of a baby crying.  "Iím fine, Larry!" Jennifer calls, "And so is our son!"  "Balki, I have a son!" Larry smiles.  "Cousin, now we are so happy, we do the Dance of Joy!" Balki exclaims.  They perform the Dance of Joy with their legs and end with Balki wrapping his legs around Larry's.

We see an establishing shot of the house at night and the caption "Two Months Later."  Balki and Larry are sitting on the couch watching a videotape on the television.  Balki is yawning but Larry is watching with a smile as the narrator says, "And so tonight, Chicagoís population grew by one tiny baby who made his entrance into the world in a way his parents wonít soon forget.  This is Ken Wiley wishing you and yours a good evening."  Larry turns off the videotape with the remote and shakes his head.  "I donít know about you but I never get tired of watching that tape, do you?" Larry asks.  "No," Balki assures him as he stifles his yawn, "No, love it."  "The miracle of my wife giving birth to my son hundreds of feet in the air . . . I mean, I . . . I canít get over it," Larry sighs.  "Yeah," Balki sighs, "My favorite part was when Captain Fred let me go up into the helicopter and help him with the traffic report."  "Oh yeah," Larry sighs, unimpressed.  "It reminded me of the time that Uncle Stavros let me help him with the traffic report on Mypos," Balki continues, "We packed a lunch and climbed up into that gingko tree and waited for the mule to pass by.  He never came.  Who knew the mule was dead?"

Mary Anne and Jennifer come down the stairs, each one carrying a baby.  "These little guys told us they wanted to spend some time with their daddies while we cook dinner," Mary Anne says as she and Jennifer set the babies into a crib sitting by the couch.  Balki and Larry look lovingly at their sons as theyíre being placed in the crib.  "Well, they didnít actually talk," Mary Anne clarifies, "Rational thought process occurs in the sixth month.  Verbal skills follow in the ninth or tenth."  Everyone looks impressed with Mary Anneís knowledge.  "I heard that on Sesame Street," Mary Anne explains.  "Well, why donít we go start dinner?" Jennifer suggests.  "Well, Jen, are you sure you feel up to it?" Larry asks, "I mean, shouldnít you be resting?"  "Larry, Iím fine," Jennifer assures him, "And just looking at little Tucker makes me realize he was worth everything I went through."  Jennifer and Mary Anne head for the kitchen.  "Balki and I talked it over and we want to have six or eight more kids," Mary Anne says, "How about you and Larry?"  "Well, Larry and I talked it over . . . weíre getting a dog," Jennifer replies.

"Well, what díya say we spend some quality time with our sons?" Larry suggests.  "Yeah," Balki agrees, and they get up from the couch and cross to the crib, looking down at their two infant sons.  "Hey, Cousin, this might be a good time to teach little Robespierre the Itsy Bitsy Scorpion," Balki suggests.  "Itsy Bitsy Scorpion?" Larry asks, "Whatís that?"  "What is that?" Balki asks with disbelief.  "Yeah, what is that," Larry repeats.  "Itís a classic Myposian nursery rhyme that teaches valuable life lessons," Balki explains.  "Well, then, why donít ya teach it to little Tucker as well?" Larry offers.  "I would be proud to," Balki smiles, and he leans in over the crib and sings, "Itsy bitsy scorpion crawled up inside my shirt; I bashed his little head in and threw him in the dirt; when his legs stopped wiggling I dropped him in my stew; Ďcause I like crunchy insects with pinchers on, donít you?  Itsy bitsy stingray swam up inside my shorts . . . "  "Okay, okay, all right," Larry stops Balki, "Iíll be in charge of nursery rhymes from now on."

Larry and Balki return to the couch and sit down.  "Well . . . boy . . . here we are a couple of daddies," Larry states, "Weíve come a long way together, huh?"  Balki puts an arm around Larryís shoulder and says, "Cousin, when I came to America six years ago, I came looking for my cousin.  I never imagined I would find the best friend that anybody ever had."  The scene oil dissolves into a montage sequence of past segments set to the song "Unforgettable" performed by Nat King Cole, ending with the scene from the first episode when Balki first walks in Larryís door (a scene by scene breakdown of this segment can be found below).  The montage oil dissolves back to Balki and Larry sitting on the couch.  "You know, Balki, if I had it to do all over again, I wouldnít change a thing," Larry smiles.  "Me, neither," Balki agrees.

Jennifer and Mary Anne walk out of the kitchen and ask, "What have you two been up to?"  "Oh, just a little reminiscing," Larry answers.  Jennifer and Mary Anne pick the babies up from the crib and carry them over to the couch where they sit down.  "Who would have thought six years ago that weíd be holding the next generation of Appletons and Bartokomouses?" Jennifer asks.  "Wonít it be wonderful to watch them grow up?" Mary Anne asks.  "Yes, it will," Larry smiles, "Balki, you think our families will always be as close as we are right now?"  "Well, of course we will. Donít be ridiculous," Balki answers, "Mary Anne and I arenít planning to move for years and years to come and . . . and if you two move, weíre going with you!"  Balki and Mary Anne sidle closer to Larry and Jennifer and Balki puts his arm behind Larry as the episode ends.

The final curtain call was filmed and shown under the end credits of the episode.  It begins with Robert G. Lee introducing, "Ladies and gentlemen, for the last time letís welcome the stars of Perfect Strangers!  Rebeca Arthur!"  A stage hand opens the front door and Rebeca comes out, waving to the audience.  "Melanie Wilson!" Robert introduces, and Melanie comes through the door.  "Mark Linn-Baker!" Robert introduces, and Mark comes running out.  "And Bronson Pinchot!" Robert announces.  Bronson comes running out and joins the others in a line in front of the studio audience bleachers.  We see the bleachers and crew from the actors point of view as the audience gives them a standing ovation.  "Ladies and gentlemen, a hand please for the cast and crew of Perfect Strangers!" Robert announces.  Mark is handed a microphone and tells the audience, "Thank you all for being with us!  Good night!"  A tearful Melanie hugs a tearful Bronson and Mark hugs Rebeca as the series ends.


Clips shown during the final montage:

Happy Birthday, Baby - Balki and Larry perform the Dance of Joy
Good Skates - Balki skates circles around Larry at his desk
Just a Gigolo - Balki dances with "Desiree Appleton" at Lydiaís party
Citizenship, Part One - Balki hugs Larry when he is leaving to go back to Mypos
Hunks Like Us - Balki and Larry dance in front of the couch
The Karate Kids - performing The Impossible Dream
Eyewitless Reports - Balki and Larry peeking out from around the corner
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Little Apartment of Horrors - Jennifer and Mary Anne entering the apartment with moustaches and Larry and Balkiís reaction
Night School Confidential - Larry and Balki looking at each othersí disguises
Up a Lazy River, Part One - Larry and Balki stuck in the sleeping bag
The Elevator - Larry and Balki screaming as the elevator rises quickly to the top
The ĎKingí and I - Balki and Larry check out each otherís hairdos
Wild Turkey - Balki tries to help Larry get the turkey off his foot
Citizenship, Part Two - Larry jumps into Mamaís arms after performing the Dance of Joy
Bachelor Party - Larry and Balki both sniff Balki after waking up with hangovers
Blind Alley - Balki grabs Larryís bowling ball as heís about to bowl, causing Larry to flip over
I Saw This on T.V. - Larry as Ralph Kramden throwing his back out moving the refrigerator
The Karate Kids - Balki stalking Larry as a ninja for a sneak attack
The Men Who Knew Too Much, Part Two - Balki and Larry driving under the truck
Up a Lazy River, Part One - Balki, Larry, Jennifer and Mary Anne caught in the rapids in the raft
Out of Sync - Balki leaping into the Fly Girls arms during the Fresh Young Balki B video
The Horn Blows at Midnight - Balki and Larry being blown back by the wind of a sudden storm
Call Me Indestructible - Balki letting go of the fire escape and he and Larry falling in a bungee jump
The Gazebo - Larry as Oliver Hardy strikes Balki as Stan Laurel on the head with a hammer
Just a Gigolo - Balki pulls off "Desiree Appletonís" wig to reveal she is Larry
Tenspeed and Soft Touch - Balki picks up Larry and flips him over
Family Feud - Balki swordfights with Zoltan while Larry tries to get the bucket off Balkiís foot
This Old House - Balki and Larry spin as they hang from the chandelier
Call Me Indestructible - Balki and Larry throw their arms out as they stand on either side of the speeding motorcycle
The Break Up - Balki carries Larry to Jenniferís table on his shoulders
High Society - Larry and Balki singing and dancing to "Get Happy"
Almost Live from Chicago - Balki gyrating while Larryís telling his Bunky McDermott story
Threeís a Crowd - Balki and Larry dancing around each other
Your Cheatiní Heart - Balki dances Larry away from the bedroom door
The Baby Shower - Balki and Larry dancing while high on the Midolcrampabloatolous root
Just Desserts - Larry dances with Balki while they make bibbibabkas
Just Desserts - Balki, Larry, Jennifer and Mary Anne dance in a conga line to the Bibbibabka Ditty
Pipe Dreams - Water spills down on Mary Anne, Balki, Larry and Jennifer as they sit on the couch
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Climb Every Billboard - Larry and Balki singing "Iíve Been Workiní on the Railroad"
Father Knows Best??? Part Two - Balki dancing to Singing in the Rain and using Larry as his lamppost
Yes Sir, Thatís My Baby - Baby Larry and Baby Balki suck on their thumbs
Stress Test - Balki and Larry do the macho bit after solving the map puzzle
I Saw This on T.V. - Balki as Ed Norton takes a fall
Up a Lazy River, Part Two - Larry steps into quicksand
Pipe Dreams - Larry fights the water in the flooding bathroom as Balki sits on the toilet
Snow Way to Treat a Lady, Part One - Balki opens the door of the cabin to reveal Larry pressed against the door by the avalanche
Maid to Order - Larry dances with Jennifer and Balki dances with Mary Anne
Missing - Balki uses Larryís head to sign his name with his nose (outtake)
Yes Sir, Thatís My Baby - Baby Balki and Baby Larry look up from under the overturned crib
The Gazebo - Larry as Oliver Hardy and Balki as Stan Laurel nod to each other
Piano Movers - Larry and Balki doing the "All in the legs" bit with a little flair (outtake)
Lethal Weapon - Balki in his Oven Mitt Man outfit points to Larry at the Chronicle (outtake)
That Old Gang of Mine - Balki and Larry try to get off the hooks they are hung upon
The Sunshine Boys - Balki and Larry drop their pants
Snow Way to Treat a Lady, Part One - Balki and Larry sway back and forth on their skis
See You In September - Covered with mud, Balki hugs Jennifer and Larry
Citizenship, Part Two - Balki hugs Mary Anne, Jennifer and Larry
Picture This - Larry playfully punches Balkiís arm and Balki returns a friendly punch
Tooth or Consequences - Larry and Balki have milk running from their mouths
Get Me to the Dump on Time - Mary Anne bends Balki over backwards to kiss him at their wedding
The Wedding - Jennifer and Larry kiss through the bars of the jail cell at their wedding
Knock, Knock . . . Whoís There? - Balki arrives on Larryís doorstep


Script Variations:
There are a number of differences between the shooting script dated August 18, 1992 and the episode which aired:
In the opening scene Jennifer says, "I think I'm getting airsick," instead of "I'm feeling strange."
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After Larry says that thanks to Balki they have no way of getting back down, Balki argues, "Thanks to me?  If it weren't for that pesky stubborn streak of yours, right now we'd be on the ground knocking over milk bottles and eating cotton candy and corn dogs."  Jennifer groans.  "You're always so sure your way is the right way," Balki adds.  "That's because my way is based on logical reasoning, while your way is based on some crackpot Myposian custom," Larry counters, "If it were up to you we would have flipped a cheese wheel to determine which rope to pull."  "We would not," Balki complains, "Cheese wheels are only flipped to choose up sides for olive pit spitting."  This is when Jennifer interrupts this "stimulating conversation" to tell them she's in labor.
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Instead of saying, "Well, toss my greens and call me Caesar," Balki says, "Well, I'll be snookered.  It was the balloon ride that caused Mary Anne to go into labor.  Just between you and me and the compost, I thought it was the pink popcorn.  Isn't it great, Cousin?  Now we know the secret."  "Yeah, yeah, great," Larry sighs, "It was the balloon.  Yippee."  Larry then suggests that maybe this is another false alarm.  Jennifer assures Larry it's not false labor and guesses that her contractions are about five minutes apart.
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After another contraction starts right away, Balki comments, "Cousin, forgive me, but that was no five minutes unless, of course, we just crossed a time zone.  But this balloon is a real find, isn't it?  Expectant mothers everywhere will thank us."  "Balki, shut up about the balloon," Larry snarls, then he tells Jennifer, "Honey, don't worry.  We can handle it.  After all, we spent two weeks longer in Lamaze class than any other couple."  "That would be a lot more reassuring if you hadn't spend most of each class in a dead faint," Jennifer points out.  "But the week I stayed conscious, I got the 'Best Coach' award," Larry reminds her.
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After Balki points out the patches on the balloon and Larry urges him not to help, Larry says to Jennifer, "Honey, I know you think this is the real thing but that's what you thought the last seven times.  Just try to relax.  Let's think of funny stories."  "I got one, I got one," Balki says, "A butcher, a pig and a rabbi . . . "  "Not you," Larry quickly scolds.  "Larry, this time it's for real," Jennifer assures him, "I felt the first twinge in the parking lot."  "Okay, well, that probably would have been the time to mention something but you didn't and that's okay.  That's okay," Larry sighs.  "Well, that sort of takes the air out of our balloon theory but if you let me finish my funny story, I think we'd all be in a better mood," Balki offers.
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After Balki assures Jennifer that they're not going to run out of oxygen, Larry adds, "See?  Listen to the man.  We're not going to run out of oxygen."  Than Balki explains how the atmosphere will cause the balloon to explode instead.
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After Balki tells Larry that his going over the side of the balloon isn't going to happen, Larry says, "I don't think you heard me.  I'm the coach.  You're nothing.  Coach.  Nothing.  Get over the side."  "I don't think you heard me," Balki counters, "I'm not going."
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After Balki climbs over the side of the basket, Larry asks Jennifer, "How are you doing, honey?"  "That was a strong one, Larry," Jennifer says.  "Don't worry, we can do this ourselves," Larry assures her.  "Cousin, I have very good news!" Balki calls from outside the basket.  "Did you hear that?" Larry asks Jennifer, "We're going to be rescued."  He then calls to Balki, "What's your good news?"  "I can see the scoreboard at Wrigley Field," Balki calls, "The Cubs are kicking butt!"
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As Larry helps coach Jennifer through her Lamaze breathing, Jennifer says, "Larry, you're a wonderful coach.  I'd never be able to get through this without you."  "And you won't have to," Larry assures her, "I'm not going anywhere.  Well, except for this little unplanned cross-country trip.  But at least we're going together."  "I'm having another contraction," Jennifer says.  "Alright.  Remember to focus and breathe," Larry encourages her.
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Instead of saying, "It's now or never," Balki tells Larry, "You might find this of interest," then talks about dropping a hundred and seventy-five and a half pounds of counterweight.  After saying, "No, we're losing a Balki," Balki adds, "My hands are numb, my legs are asleep and I've got an itch in the middle of my back that's driving me crazy."
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After Larry assures Jennifer that he'll be back before her next contraction we hear Balki off camera saying through clenched teeth, "Don't mean to rush you, but I'm holding on with my teeth!"  When Larry climbs over the side of the basket to rescue Balki, he says, "Balki, use my body as a ladder.  Climb up my back into the basket."  "Okay, here I come!" Balki says.  Balki grabs Larry and in an attempt to climb up Larry's back, Balki pulls Larry down to the bottom of the basket.  Larry screams.  We see both the guys hanging from the basket.  "I should have gone," Jennifer sighs from off camera.
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At the beginning of act two, Balki and Larry are hanging off the side of the basket.  "How are you doing, honey?" Larry calls to Jennifer.  "How am I doing?" Jennifer calls from inside the basket, "I'm delivering my own baby.  How are you doing?"  "I'm hanging outside a basket hundreds of feet above the ground," Larry calls, "How do you think I'm doing?"  "It wasn't my idea for you to go out there," Jennifer reminds him.  "Well, it was your idea to take a stupid balloon ride in the first place," Larry points out, then he mocks her, saying, "'I've just got to get this baby out now.'"  "Kids, kids, this is no time for petty bickering," Balki scolds, "This is a very special moment in your lives.  If we live through this, you can bicker later."  "I'm sorry, Jen," Larry calls.  "I'm sorry, too," Jennifer calls back.  "That's better," Balki smiles, then he says that under the circumstances he thinks things are going well.  Larry points out that he's suspended hundreds of feet in the air and his wife is in labor, then asks, "What would it take for you to think things weren't 'going rather well?'"  "Larry, I think it's time to push," Jennifer calls.  "That would do it," Balki says.  "Jen, honey, I think you're going to have to go on without me," Larry explains, "I'd really like to be with you right now, but I just can't do it."  After a moment, Larry adds, "This probably hasn't crossed your mind, but our child is going t have one heck of a story to tell.  What do you think about that?"  Larry laughs.  Jennifer's hand reaches through a hole in the side of the basket and she grabs Larry's hair.  "You're right.  This story should never be told," Larry quickly agrees.
- After Larry speculates that the backup on the interstate is caused by the sight of two men hanging from a balloon, Balki says, "I don't think that's it.  I think they're looking at that helicopter."
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When Balki is calling to Captain Fred, Larry says, "You idiot, he can't hear you."  After Captain Fred tells them to smile, that they're on the evening news, Balki says to Larry, "Oh, he can't hear us, huh?"
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After Balki introduces everyone to Captain Fred, Jennifer sighs, "I thought having a baby in a basket was as bad as it could get.  I was wrong."
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In this version of the script, Balki and Larry don't perform the Dance of Joy under the balloon.
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After Larry says he can't get over the birth of his son being born in the balloon, Balki says, "I can't get over Captain Fred being up there with us for an hour and never once getting my name right.  'Ballki, Balkeye.'  What is that?"
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Mary Anne makes the comment about the babies telling them they wanted to hang out with their daddies while they start dinner, but doesn't make any further remarks about it.
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As Mary Anne and Jennifer head for the kitchen, Mary Anne says, "You know, my pregnancy was so easy I almost feel like I missed out on something.  What does labor feel like?"  "It feels a lot like having a drawer slam shut on your hand over and over and over and . . . " Jennifer explains.
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In this script, Larry and Balki pick up their infant sons and carry them to the couch.  "You know, we'd better make the most of these moments while we can, Balki," Larry points out, "Before we know it Tucker and Robespierre will be heading off to kindergarten, then college, then marriage and families of their own."  "And will they ever write or call?" Balki asks, "No."  To his son he says, "What's the matter, Mr. Big Shot, did you forget how to dial a phone?"  "It won't be like that, Balki, because we're going to teach them to be responsible, caring, loyal, honorable men," Larry insists.  "And I hope little Tucker will look out for little Robespierre like you looked out for me," Balki hopes.  "Oh, I don't know, buddy," Larry sighs, "I think we've both done our share of looking out for each other."  The script then says, "We oil dissolve into and out of a short montage of some magic moments."
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When Jennifer and Mary Anne come back into the living room, Jennifer asks, "What have you two been up to?"  "We've been telling our sons a few stories about their fathers," Larry explains.  "That's so sweet," Jennifer smiles.  "And it would have been even sweeter if you had told your stories to the right sons," Mary Anne adds.  Jennifer and Mary Anne switch the babies so that Balki and Larry are holding the right baby.  They sit beside the guys.  "Now that we're parents, I know our lives are going to change, but I hope our families will always be as close as we are right now," Larry says.  "Well, of course we will, don't be ridiculous," Balki says.  And this is how the script was originally supposed to end.

The production schedule for the final week of shooting was set up this way as of August 13, 1992: 

upupaway2schedule.jpg (171055 bytes)

And the final page of the script included a drawing of Porky Pig in his famous "That's All, Folks!" stance, signifying the end of the series.

upupaway2script.jpg (83634 bytes)