Perfect Strangers Episode Guide

EPISODE 37 - Future Shock

First Air Date: November 25, 1987
Nielsen Rating: 13.9 HH

TV Guide Description: After learning that Jennifer is moving to Los Angeles, Larry regrets that he never expressed his feelings, and dreams of a time 40 years hence, when a decrepit Larry awaits Jennifer's return.

Co-Producer: James OíKeefe
Created by: Dale McRaven
Written by: John B. Collins
Directed by: Joel Zwick

Cast:
Bronson Pinchot: Balki Bartokomous
Mark Linn-Baker: Larry Appleton
Rebeca Arthur: Mary Anne
Melanie Wilson: Jennifer Lyons

Dimitri Appearances: Dimitri can be seen in Larryís dream in Balki and Mary Anneís apartment along with a female sheep and a third sheep.  In truth, this is a rare opportunity to see the different Dimitriís which actually appeared in the series at various times!

Balki-isms:
"There are none so blind as those who will not hear."
"Four Mouseketeers."
"Well, I try to call them like I call them."
"You took the bull by the horns and you stepped in something good."

Donít be ridiculous: Said once, but as "Donít be absurd."

Other catchphrases used in this episode:
"Wwowww!"
"Oh yi yi yi, yooki biggi mooki, Cousin Larry!"
" . . . babsticki."
"Well, we gotta go."
"Yes!  Yes!"
" . . . you stepped in something good."

Other running jokes used in this episode:
Mary Anne explains something in a way that doesnít really make clear sense
Larry drinks antacid from the bottle (although this time he keeps the bottle in the cupboard and not the refrigerator)
Larry sniffs at the air (and Balki looks behind himself)
Larry falls down the stairs

Notable Moments:
Larry and Jennifer finally admit their feelings of "like" for one another.
Jennifer instigates a kiss with Larry for the first time.

Interesting facts:
-
The title Future Shock is the name of a notable book which was published in 1970 by Alvin Toffler, in which he addressed the issues of changing from an industrial society to a super-industrial society. 
-
In this episode we see the inside of Larryís bedroom for the first time.  There we see one of the very few dream sequences in the series, a plot device not often employed too often on this series.
- Larry's line "Here's looking at you, kid," is a quote from the classic film, Casablanca, starring Humphrey Bogart,
- It was particularly funny to hear Larry speaking Myposian in this episode, which was the first time heíd done so without hearing it first in the series.  Of course it made sense that in forty years time Larry would have learned enough to translate "But for me the ship has sailed."
- This episode includes one of the most obscure and bizarre jokes of the entire series, and one that would probably go right over the heads of most viewers . . . unless they happen to be fans of Frank Capraís classic film Itís a Wonderful Life.  When Larry awakens from his nightmare and runs around, relieved that he has a second chance, he goes to the closet to put on his coat.  As he does this, he pulls something out of the pocket and exclaims "Zuzuís petals!"  This line is a direct reference to the scene in the movie in which Jimmy Stewart, having a second chance at life after seeing what the world would be like without him, realizes he is back in his own reality and fumbles into his pocket to discover he again has the petals from the flower heíd taken from a rose given to his daughter Zuzu as a prize in school earlier in the evening.  Itís a very surreal joke for the series, seeing thereís no reason why Larry would have Zuzuís petals in his pocket, but also one of the funniest lines that caps off that hilarious and insane scene perfectly.
- When Balki comments that Larry is starting to sound like Sally Field at the Academy Awards he is referring to a notable acceptance speech at the 1985 Oscars when she accepted the Best Actress award for the film Places in the Heart.  While she didn't exactly say "You like me, you really like me!" in that context, the quote has since become a staple joke.

Bloopers and Inconsistencies:
-
In the background of the first scene we see two trophies sitting on the mantelpiece.  One is likely Larryís trophy he won managing the Ritz baseball team, but the other is too small to be Balkiís Most Valuable Player trophy from that same baseball season.  So where did the other trophy come from?  Was it the bowling trophy Larry was carrying with him into the dark living room when Balki threw him a surprise party?  It seems too small to be that one, either.  The reason for the trophies on the mantel is probably to add contrast to the future scene in which Larry has no trophies, only photos of Jennifer, on the mantel.
- The scene in which Balki is warning Larry that he should tell Jennifer how he feels seems to be cut short before it was to originally end (it looks like as Balki turns away he is starting to open his mouth to say something else).  Itís possible that the line "Youíre going to be a lonely old man," which we hear Balkiís voice warn Larry before his dream begins, might have been said during this edited continuation.
- A very funny double blooper happens as Larry is putting on his pants to go and see Jennifer again.  As Mark pulls on the pants, part of his shirt sticks out suggestively through his fly.  As the audience starts to laugh at this, Bronson steps forward and his hands accidentally brushes against an antacid bottle, knocking it to the floor.  As Bronson looks down at the bottle, which has landed at his feet, Mark pulls the shirt up through the fly, both continuing on seamlessly.
- Another blooper from this episode in which Rebeca misses her cue to say "Come in, Cousin Larry" at the same time as Bronson can be seen on our YouTube Channel, along with other bloopers from the series!


Synopsis:
The episode begins with a pan to the window of Balki and Larryís apartment and Balkiís voice over stating, "Okay, this is a hard one.  Youíll never get this."  Inside the living room, we see Balki, Mary Anne, Jennifer and Larry engaged in a game of charades.  Balki is making the motion to indicate heís going to do a movie.  "Bambi!" Mary Anne, Jennifer and Larry all guess at once.  Balki stares at them in surprise.  "You guys are good!" he exclaims.  "Balki, you always do Bambi!" Larry explains.

Balki sits next to Mary Anne on the couch.  Jennifer is sitting beside her and Larry is sitting on the chair nearest Jennifer.  "Boy, when the four of us get together we sure do have fun, donít we?" Mary Anne asks, then itís obvious sheís leading into something when she adds, "Speaking of the four of us being together, Jennifer has something sheís been wanting to tell you."  Jennifer looks nervous and says, "Maybe later."  "No, come on, what is it?" Larry asks.  "Well, the airline is giving me a promotion," Jennifer answers.  Everyone reacts with enthusiasm.  "And . . . Iím moving to Los Angeles," she adds hurriedly.  Balki starts to react happily, then realizes what this means and looks at Larry worriedly.  Mary Anne blurts out, "What do you think about that, Larry?"

Jennifer looks at Larry anxiously, awaiting his response.  "Los Angeles . . . thatís great," Larry says, trying to be upbeat about it, "A promotion . . . in Los Angeles."  Balki asks worriedly, "Mary Anne, are you going to Los Angeles, too?"  "Oh no, I have allergies," she states matter-of-factly.  "So, Jennifer," Larry coughs, "When are you moving?"  "I havenít given them a definite yes," Jennifer explains, "I mean, itís a good career move and itís more money and the weather is great.  But . . . Chicago is my home."  "What do you think about that, Larry?" Mary Anne blurts out again and Jennifer shoots her a look.

"What do I think?" Larry asks, unsure of himself and what to say, "I mean, she has a point.  Itís a good career move . . . more money . . . the weather is great.  Maybe she should go for it.  You know what they say . . . opportunity knocks but once."  Jennifer reluctantly agrees, saying, "Youíre right.  I donít know why I was so indecisive.  I guess if itís a good career move and itís more money and the weather is great, well, whatís keeping me here?"  She waits for Larry to respond but he just looks nervously between them all.  "Nothing," Jennifer realizes with disappointment.

Jennifer nudges Mary Anneís arm and suggests they leave since itís late.  "Thanks for the wonderful evening," Mary Anne offers as they head for the door.  Larry says good night as they leave but Jennifer doesnít respond.  Mary Anne says good night before closing the door behind her.  Balki turns to Larry in shock.  "Opportunity knocks but once?" he asks incredulously, "The woman of your dreams is leaving for California and thatís all you can say?  Opportunity knocks but once?  Can you afford it?"

"All right, what was I supposed to say?" Larry defends himself, "She obviously has her plans made and Iím not part of them."  Balki walks to Larry and places a sympathetic arm around his shoulder, "Listen to the wisdom that made Mypos great.  There are none so blind as those who will not hear.  Cousin, youíve got to go up to her and tell her you will die a thousand deaths if she go to California!"  "Not a chance!" Larry insists, "If I went up there and told her how I felt sheíd laugh in my face!"  Larry heads to the kitchen to get some antacid.  "But, Cousin, if you donít tell her youíll regret it for the rest of your life!"  "Forget it, Balki!" Larry states, taking a swig from the antacid bottle heís taken from the cupboard, "Nothing you can say will change my mind!"

That night we are inside Larryís bedroom as he tosses and turns, in the throes of a bad dream.  Balkiís voice is heard over the scene, saying, "Youíre going to regret it the rest of your life.  Opportunity knocks but once.  Youíre going to be a lonely old man . . . old man . . . old man . . . . "  The scene wavers and we go inside Larryís dream.

A well-aged Mary Anne appears in the living room of what was the girlsí apartment upstairs (the rainbow striped wallpaper and accessories pattern seen in a previous episode is still there).  The older Mary Anne surveys the room, trying to decide where to put an arrangement of flowers.  She settles on the dining room table, carrying them over.  The front door opens an older, dapper and well-groomed Balki enters.  He is sporting a mustache and slicked, pepper-colored hair.  He is carrying a briefcase, which he sets inside the door, and wearing a smart suit jacket with an ascot.

Balki enters, crossing to Mary Anne where he eyes her seductively, saying, "Darling, Iím home."  He dips her into a passionate kiss, and when they straighten he exclaims, "Wwoowww!  Married 37 years and youíre still my spicy little lamb kabob."  "Dinnerís almost ready," Mary Anne informs him sadly.  "I knew that," Balki says with disappointment, moving to sit on the couch.  "How was your day?" Mary Anne asks, coming over to sit on his lap.  "Well, I bought two more shopping malls and a hotel."  "Oh Balki, I thought we agreed we had enough hotels," Mary Anne sighs.  "Well, I know but this one had a revolving door and you know how much I love revolving doors," Balki explains.  "Oh Balki, youíll never grow up," Mary Anne observes.  "I certainly hope not!" Balki agrees, then swings Mary Anne down onto the couch to kiss her again.

There is a knock at the door and they part, calling out, "Come in, Cousin Larry!" in unison.  The door opens and Larry walks in.  He is a shell of a man . . . old, slow, bent . . . balding and grey.  He wears shabby clothes and an old knit jacket.  Whereas Balki and Mary Anne are bright and vibrant, Larry is decrepit and sad.  "Hope Iím not interrupting anything!" he says as he walks to them, "I brought the rent check.  Iím afraid Iím a little short this month."  He hands the check to Mary Anne who tries to give it back to him, saying, "Larry, weíve told you every month, you donít have to pay rent!  Balki owns the building!"

Larry says he knows but explain that an Appleton likes to pay his own way.  Mary Anne walks away as Larry tells them heíll make it up next month.  "How much am I behind?" he asks Balki.  "Oh Cousin, I have no idea," Balki insists.  Larry keeps pressing him until Balki finally admits Larry is behind $35,000.  Larry gasps for air at the amount, then recovers.  "Iím good for it!" he promises, "One of these days Iím gonna hit the lottery!"  "Well, of course you are, donít be absurd," Balki offers.

Larry starts sniffing at the air, asking, "Is that pig snout I smell?  I havenít had a good pig snout dinner since, uh . . . since, uh. . . "   "Yesterday," Mary Anne finishes.  "Thatís right!" Larry confirms.  "Cousin, youíre most welcome to join us," Balki offers, motioning to the table.  "Oh, well, I never could say no to Mary Anneís snout," Larry admits, walking to the table.  He notices there are three settings and comments, "Oh, youíre expecting someone!"  "Only you, Cousin," Balki explains.  "Well, itís a good thing I dropped by," Larry surmises, sitting down.  Balki helps Mary Anne in her seat then sits himself.

"I made Jello for dessert," Mary Anne tells Balki in a flirtatious manner.  "I love Jello," Larry interrupts, "Love Jello, always have."  "Youíll never guess who I got a letter from today," Mary Anne begins, "I got a letter from Jennifer!"  "Jennifer?  I donít remember any Jennifer," Larry says, obviously lying.  "Remember?  You let her go to Los Angeles and it ruined your life," Balki offers.  "No, canít place her," Larry states.

"In her letter she says sheís getting a divorce," Mary Anne continues, "I think heís a Yugoslavian prince."  "Are you sure itís not the astronaut?" Balki asks.  "No, no, no, the prince was her second husband," Larry interrupts, "He came between the Texas oil man and the astronaut.  Sheís divorcing her fourth husband.  I donít know what he does but I think he owns Asia."  Off Mary Anne and Balkiís startled stares Larry quickly adds, "If itís the Jennifer Iím thinking about."  "Well, if it is the Jennifer youíre thinking about, sheíll be in town tomorrow and sheís stopping by here for a visit!" Mary Anne explains.  "Isnít that magnificent, Cousin?" Balki asks, "Finally after all these years youíll be able to see Jennifer face to face!"

On Larryís startled face the scene melts into the next, which shows Larry standing in the cousinís original apartment, now his own.  It is dark and dirty, with old newspapers and empty antacid bottles lying around.  The wallpaper is torn and tattered.  There are also photos, posters and standees of Jennifer everywhere.  Larry lovingly places a framed photograph of Jennifer onto the fireplace mantel.  He reaches down to pick up one of the loose bottles of antacid and holds it up to the picture like a toast, saying,  "Hereís looking at you, kid."  He tries to take a swig but the bottle is empty.  Sadly he throws it to the floor and leans against the mantel, looking dejected.

Balki comes in through the front door and turns the lights on, looking around before stepping to Larry.  "Cousin, Jenniferís here . . . weíve all been waiting for you for twenty minutes.  That makes you a bit more than fashionably late."  "I started dressing three hours ago," Larry explains, "but I canít help but feel . . . somethingís missing."  Balki looks down, noting, "Your pants, perhaps?"  Larry is dressed in a shirt, necktie, boxer shorts, socks, garters and shoes but isnít wearing any pants, so Balki hands him a pair that are lying across the back of the couch.  "Cousin, you know . . . I havenít seen you dressed in a necktie in quite a while," Balki notes, "You cut a fine figure."  "You mean it?" Larry asks.  "Would I lie to you?" Balki asks.  When Larry looks back down to continue putting on his pants, Balki makes a face of disgust.

"Cousin, come alone . . . letís go and see Jennifer!" Balki encourages Larry, but Larry walks away from the door.  "Balki, whatís the point?" Larry asks, discouraged, "Any feelings I had for Jennifer are dead and buried."  Balki looks around at all the Jennifer memorabilia and comments, "Well, from the looks of your apartment itís a shallow grave."  "Maybe I still feel something for Jennifer . . . so what?"  Balki grabs Larryís arms, saying, "So tell her, man, as you ought to have done forty years ago!"  "Itís too late!" Larry insists.  "Itís never too late!" Balki argues. "Itís over . . . itís done . . . itís yesterdayís potatoes," Larry continues.  "Oh yi yi yi, yooki biggi mooki, Cousin Larry!" Balki sighs in exasperation.  "Yes, yes . . . easy for you to say!" Larry counters, "But for me the ship has sailed.  Greeki baltic bowaticki . . . biggi mooki, babasticki!"

"She said sheíd love to see you again," Balki informs Larry.  "She did?" Larry asks hopefully.  "Yes, she did."  "Well, I would like to see her again.  See how sheís changed.  See if the years have treated her well.  We could talk about all the things sheís done . . . all the things I havenít done."  "Cousin, think of it, man . . . there was a spark there once.  Maybe you can fan it into a flame again."  "You think so?" Larry asks excitedly.  "Fan it, man, fan it!" Balki encourages.  "Youíre right, Balki!  Letís go see Jennifer!"  "Oh Cousin!" Balki smiles, "Now we are so happy, we do the Dance of Joy!"  They begin the dance, Larry barely able to keep up at all as Balki goes slowly for him.  By the end Larry is so exhausted he canít even begin to jump into Balkiís arms, so Balki attempts to pick him up, causing them to both fall to the floor behind the couch.

Act two begins with Larry tossing and turning in bed again (to remind us this is a dream).  "This is your second chance!" Balkiís voice warns, "There was a spark there once.  Fan it, man, fan it!  This is your last chance . . . last chance . . . last chance . . . . "  We fade again to Balki and Mary Anneís apartment in the future were Balki is opening the door for Cousin Larry, who is now also wearing a jacket.  "I donít know about this, Balki," Larry worries, "Iím not as cute as I used to be!  Iím an old man!"  "Well, Cousin, weíre all old," Balki points out, "And, listen . . . if we didnít get older, weíd be dead."

Mary Anne enters from the bedroom, exclaiming, "Oh youíre here!  And you look so . . . clean!  Jenniferís a little nervous about seeing you."  Mary Anne walks back to look in the bedroom, as Larry turns to Balki and says, "Maybe sheís not as cute as she used to be!"  Mary Anne turns back to the room, saying, "Hereís Jennifer, Larry!"  Jennifer walks out of the bedroom, as radiant and beautiful and as young as ever.  Larryís eyes bug out at the sight of her.  "Hi, Larry!" Jennifer smiles.  "Jennifer, you havenít changed a bit!" Larry gasps.  "Well . . . . " Jennifer begins, but Larry interrupts.  "No, I mean you really havenít changed a bit!  I mean, nothing!  Not anything!  Youíre . . . gorgeous!"  He starts for her lustfully but Balki holds him back, saying, "Try to show a little dignity."

Mary Anne suggests they all sit down, so they move to the couch.  Everyone sits, although Larry takes longer in doing so.  "Well, here we all are . . . together again!" Balki says, "Four Mouseketeers."  "Friends Ďtil the end," Mary Anne adds.  "Thatís right," Balki agrees, then says, "Well, we gotta go."  He and Mary Anne get up and walk to the door as Jennifer also stands up and Larry chases after Balki.  "What díya mean Ďgoí?  Where are you going?  You know, I just got here!"  "Ever since Balki bought the Cubs he likes to throw out the first ball," Mary Anne explains.  "Of every game!" Balki elaborates, "Baseball fever . . . I caught it and I bought it!"

Larry grabs Balki and takes him aside, saying, "Balki, Balki!  You canít leave me alone with Jennifer!"  "But Cousin, this is your chance to reveal to her how you feel!" Balki explains, "The sound you hear is opportunity knocking!  So you just walk over there . . . . "  "Balki, we should be going, weíre going to be late," Mary Anne interrupts.  "Darling, darling," Balki shrugs her off, turning back to talk to Larry.  "Balki, honey . . . . " Mary Anne tries again.  "Darling, weíre not going to be late," Balki assures her.  "Balki!" Mary Anne says more sternly.  Balki looks at her and says, "Darling, Iím involved."  She gives him "the look" and he finally says, "All right, letís go."  "See you later!" Mary Anne says sweetly and she and Balki leave.

Larry walks back over to the couch and Jennifer sits down, Larry sitting down more slowly next to her.  They both start talking at the same time and laugh at this.  "Go ahead," Larry offers.  "No, you go on," Jennifer suggests.  "No, ladiesí first," Larry insists, "What were you going to say?"  "I have to go," Jennifer says, "I donít have much time, I have a plane to catch."  "Jennifer, donít go to Los Angeles!" Larry cries.  "Iím not going to Los Angeles, Iím going to Monte Carlo," Jennifer answers.  "No, no!  Itís what I should have said forty years ago when you had that job opportunity in California," Larry blurts, "I wanted you to stay in Chicago with me.  I liked you a lot then.  I like you a lot now.  Iíll probably always like you a lot."

"I like you a lot, too, Larry," Jennifer assures him.  Larry gets excited at this, saying, "You do?  You like me?  Thatís wonderful!  We can build a life together!  Weíll start over . . . letís have lots of kids!  Where do you want to live?  I like Chicago but Californiaís probably better for my rheumatism.  Oh what the heck?  It doesnít matter where we are as long as weíre together!  Oh gosh, Jennifer, I feel sixty again!"  Jennifer, who has not had a chance to even speak yet but looks less than enthusiastic, comments, "Well, Larry, we live in different worlds now.  Mine is a world of fancy parties, lunch at the polo lounge, dinner at Maximís.  The cholesterol alone would kill you."  She pats Larryís hand and stands up.

"Where are you going?" Larry asks, getting up as well.  "To the airport, thatís where they keep the planes," Jennifer answers.  "Please, donít go!" Larry begs.  "If only youíd said something forty years ago," Jennifer says, "Things might have been different."  "I understand," Larry sighs in a defeated voice, "Goodbye, Jennifer."  He sits sadly on the couch again.  "Goodbye, Larry," Jennifer offers, then turns to walk away.  Larry launches himself off the couch and grabs onto her leg, holding on for dear life as she tries to get to the door.  Larry pleads as he's dragged behind her, "No!  Donít leave me!  Donít leave me!"

The scene fades back to Larry in bed, clutching his pillow and crying "Donít leave me!  Donít leave me!"  He awakens with a start and a second later screams a loud, long scream.  We see the dark hallway of the apartment where a disheveled Balki in pajamas opens the door to his room, having heard the scream.  Worriedly he walks to Larryís bedroom door which flies open and Larry rushes out, knocking Balki back against the wall as he rushes to turn on the lights and looks around, crying, "Yes!  Yes!"  He runs to the bookcase and fingers some items, crying, "Hello, you wonderful old Myposian artifacts!"

Balki has followed Larry into the living room, only to be knocked out of the way again when Larry runs into the bathroom to look at himself in the mirror.  "Ah ha!  I have hair!  I have hair!  Lots of hair!" Larry cries happily.  Larry pushes Balki aside once more as he runs back into the living room and dashes to the mantel, clutching a framed picture there.  "Mom!" he cries, kissing the picture.  Larry turns around and spots Balki, as if seeing him for the first time, and clutches his arms, then runs his fingers over Balkiís upper lip, finishing by clutching Balkiís head.  "You have no moustache!" he exclaims happily.  Larry rushes to the closet and throws open the door, getting his coat and fumbling to put it on over his pajamas.  As he does this, his hand falls into the pocket and he pulls something out, eyeing Balki in wonder.  "Zuzuís Petals!" Larry exclaims excitedly.  He takes a step toward Balki, who backs away in fright and confusion.  "Itís not too late!" Larry states, then runs out the front door in a hurry.  "Must be an antacid flashback!" Balki surmises, still confused.

Upstairs we see the girlsí dark apartment.  There is a frantic knocking upon their door and Jennifer hurries out of her bedroom in her bathrobe.  She turns on the light and calls out, "Who is it?"  "Itís Larry, Jennifer!" comes Larryís frantic voice.  Jennifer undoes the chain and opens the door quickly, asking, "Larry, whatís wrong?"  "Jennifer, donít go!" Larry says firmly.  "What?" Jennifer asks in confusion.  "Donít go to Los Angeles!" Larry insists.  "You donít want me to go?" Jennifer asks in happy surprise.  "No, no!" Larry cries, then looks worried, "Iím not too late again, am I?  You can change your mind, canít you?"  Jennifer shakes her head and nods to these questions.

"Jennifer . . . I really like you.  I donít think Iíve liked anybody as much."  "Oh, Larry, when you didnít say anything I thought you didnít feel about me the way I feel about you," Jennifer admits.  "Well, how do you feel about me?" Larry asks.  "I like you, Larry!" Jennifer smiles, then adds, "As long as you like me!"  "I do!  I do!  I like you!  And I want you to stay!"  "I want to stay here, too!" Jennifer assures him.  "You do?" Larry asks.  "I do!"  "So . . . youíll stay?"  "Iíll stay," Jennifer confirms.  "You wonít be sorry!" Larry promises, "Weíll have fun!  Iíll do nice things for you!"  He thinks a moment then asks, "You wanna pizza?"  "Larry, itís three oíclock in the morning," Jennifer reminds him.  "Right," Larry realizes with some embarrassment, "Yes . . . I got you up . . . I . . . Iím . . . Iíll go back downstairs, cause . . . and I just . . . I . . . do you still like me?"

Jennifer smiles and approaches Larry gently, kissing him on the lips.  She steps back after a moment and asks, "Does that answer your question?"  Larry smiles in a dazed manner for a second, then launches himself at Jennifer, pulling her into a full, passionate kiss.  After a moment they part, both pleasantly stunned.  "I guess it does!" Jennifer deduces.  Larry stands and sighs, trying to gather himself.  "Well, I . . . I . . . I should be going," he finally says, then looks at Jennifer questioningly, "Shouldnít I?"  "I think so," Jennifer finally nods.  "No, I thought I should," Larry agrees, backing to the door and smiling boyishly.  "Good night," he offers, and turns to leave.  As Jennifer watches him leave she cringes as we heard the sound of Larry yelling and crying as he tumbles down the flight of stairs, landing with a loud thud at the bottom.  "Iím fine!" he calls up afterward, and she closes the door.

Balki is still standing in the spot where Larry left him and watches as Larry enters, limping in pain and panting excitedly.  "Balki, youíll never guess what happened!" Larry begins.  "You fell down the stairs!" Balki guesses.  "Well, yes, but thatís not important," Larry says, "Jenniferís not going to Los Angeles!  She likes me!  She really likes me!"  "Cousin, youíre starting to sound like Sally Field at the Academy Awards," Balki warns.  "I canít help it!" Larry continues happily, "Iím so happy and I owe it all to you, Balki.  Youíre the one who told me to go upstairs and tell her how I feel."  "Well, I try to call them like I call them," Balki says.  "You know, I have always let opportunity slip through my fingers because Iíve been afraid to take chances," Larry admits, "Well, I learned a lesson tonight!"  "Yes, you did," Balki agrees, "You took the bull by the horns and you stepped in something good."  "Balki, I feel like Iím on top of the world!" Larry proclaims, "I feel like I could do anything!  I feel . . . I feel like I broke my leg."  Balki starts to help Larry to the couch as the scene fades.


Script Variations:
There are some notable differences between the shooting draft script dated September 22, 1987 and the episode which aired:
The episode actually started with Larry doing charades in front of the group.  He acts as if he is stirring something in a bowl.  "Stir?" Mary Anne asks.  "'Webster,'" Balki guesses.  "Yeah," they all say.  This is when Balki gets up for his turn and says, "Okay.  My turn.  You'll have to put on your thinking caps to get this one."  He rotates his hand in front of his face to indicate a movie and they all immediately say, "Bambi."  "You guys are good," Balki comments.  "Balki, you always do Bambi," Larry points out.  "I thought I could fool you this time," Balki sighs.
- After Jennifer says she's moving to Los Angeles, the script says that both Larry and Balki are speechless instead of Balki reacting happily at first and then realizing what it means.
- After Balki asks Mary Anne if she is moving to Los Angeles, too, she replies, "No, I have allergies.  I could never live in the 'Windy City.'"  "Mary Anne, Chicago is the 'Windy City,'" Jennifer points out.  "Oh, well, I guess I could move to Los Angeles," Mary Anne realizes.  "Please, Mary Anne, don't go," Balki begs, "I like you and if you go away, I'll feel very sad in my heart."  "Oh, that's sweet," Mary Anne smiles, "I'd miss you, too, Balki.  I'll stay."  "I'm so glad I'm not losing you, my little lamb kabob," Balki smiles.  "I'm glad, too," Mary Anne says.  They are drawn to each other.  Larry and Jennifer look on uncomfortably.  "So, Jennifer, when will you be moving?" Larry asks.
- After the girls leave and Balki scolds Larry, Larry says, "What was I supposed to say?  She's obviously got her mind made up.  I didn't want to stand in her way."  "That's exactly what she wants you to do," Balki explains, "She was practically begging you to stand in her way."  "I didn't hear begging," Larry says, "I heard a person going on about this great opportunity in sunny California.  She's probably up there packing right now."  "Cousin, Cousin," Balki sighs, "Listen to the wisdom that made Mypos great.  'There are none so blind as those who will not hear.'"  "That's the wisdom that made Mypos great?" Larry asks.  "Just a taste, actually," Balki says, "I didn't want to give you all of it at once."  He then tells Larry to get upstairs and tell Jennifer how he feels.  After Larry insists that nothing will change his mind, Balki says something in Myposian.  "Don't bother translating.  I'm not listening," Larry says, heading for his room.  "It says, 'You can lead a sheep to water but you can't make it drink,'" Balki translates anyway.  "I said I'm not listening . . . and it's a horse," Larry calls back.  Larry exits to his bedroom and slams the door.  "Horse, sheep.  What difference does it make?" Balki says to Larry's closed door, "The point is, 'It's better to have loved and lost than to be thrown from a cliff.'"  Balki exits to his room.
- In the transition scene when Larry is seen having a nightmare and Balki's voice is speaking over the scene, instead of repeating, "You're going to be a lonely old man . . . old man . . . " Balki is saying, "There's no place like home . . . there's no place like home . . . "
- In Larry's dream, when Balki says that Mary Anne is still his spicy little lamb kabob, Mary Anne replies, "And you're still my big leg of mutton," before saying, "Dinner is almost ready."  Balki then replies with disappointment, "I was afraid of that."
- After Larry starts choking when Balki tells him how much rent he owes and Balki pats his back, Larry says, "I'm good for it.  I'm thinking about getting my real estate license."
- After Mary Anne tells them she made jello for dessert, Balki says, "You insatiable love goddess.  You wear me out."  This is when Larry says, "Love jello.  Always have."  Mary Anne goes on to say, "You'll never guess who I got a letter from today."  "Balki, junior?" Balki guesses.  "No," Mary Anne says, "Ever since he got elected he hardly has time to write."  "Oh, darling, don't be distressed," Balki comforts her, "We'll see him next month at Camp David."  "I know that," Mary Anne smiles, then she goes on to say she got a letter from Jennifer.
- After telling Larry that Jennifer will be stopping by to visit tomorrow, and Balki pointing out that Larry is finally going to see her again face to face, Larry gets up and starts for the door.  "Tomorrow night?" he cries.  "Why don't you give a guy some notice?  I've got to get to the gym."  He stops to catch his breath, gasping, "Gosh, this is a big apartment."  He exits out the door.  "Are you hungry, dear?" Mary Anne asks Balki.  "Yes, but not for snout," Balki answers.  Balki picks her up and carries her into the bedroom, and they sing together, "Ah, sweet mystery of life, at last I found you."
- After Larry says he feels something is missing, Balki says, "As usual, Cousin, it's your pants."  Balki picks up a pair of pants, with suspenders, that are draped over a chair.  "Come on, Cousin, you want to look nice for Jennifer."  Balki starts helping Larry into them, with difficulty.  "I've changed my mind," Larry says, "I'm not going."  "Oh, yes you are," Balki insists.  "Oh, no I'm not," Larry argues.  "Come on, Cousin," Balki says, "I want you to see Jennifer."  This is when Larry says that whatever feelings he had for Jennifer are dead and buried.
- Before Larry speaks Myposian in this script, it's Balki who speaks Myposian to try to convince Larry to go upstairs and Larry understands what Balki is saying without any translation, saying first, "I know.  I hear what you're saying but it's over," and then, "Yes, yes.  It's easy for you to say but for me that ship has sailed."  Larry then repeats the sentence in Myposian, followed by a, "Huh?"  Balki nods in agreement and they sigh together.  "It's hopeless," Larry sighs.  "Hopeless?" Balki asks, "Hopeless?  If I had listened to everyone who told me it was hopeless, there would be no Balki Towers.  There would be no Balki Stadium.  People wouldn't be sailing on Lake Bartokomous."  "Gosh, you've done well," Larry comments.  "And do you know why?" Balki asks.  "Because you invented a car that runs on sheep dung?" Larry guesses.  "That was part of it," Balki agrees, "But I couldn't have done it without a good woman at my side.  And how, you may ask did I win this woman?  Forty years ago I had the courage to tell her how I felt about her."  "Okay, so I didn't have the courage," Larry sighs, "Is that why you came down here?  To tell me I'm a coward?"  "No, actually I came down here to make sure you had your pants on," Balki answers.  "Well, do I?" Larry asks.  "Yes, and now that you do, why don't you come up and see Jennifer?" Balki asks.
- In the beginning of Act Two, after Balki says, "If we didn't get older, we'd be dead," Larry says, "Good grief.  I think I just lost the hearing in my left ear."  "Hang on, Cousin," Balki says.  Mary Anne comes out of the bedroom and says to Larry, "Oh, you're here.  And you remembered your pants."  Larry looks pleased that she's noticed.
- After Mary Anne suggests they all sit down, Jennifer asks, "Can you make it to the couch, Larry?"  "I'm fine.  I'm fine," Larry insists.
- Later, after Mary Anne and Balki leave, Larry is trying to sit down on the couch but can't make it.  He asks Jennifer, "Do you mind?"  She hits him behind the knees and he sits.  "Thanks," Larry says.  "Don't mention it," Jennifer replies.
- After Larry begs Jennifer not to go, she says, "There was a time for us, Larry, but it's over.  Things change.  People change.  Feelings change.  We're just not the way we were."  The theme song from "The Way We Were" plays in the background as Jennifer brushes a wisp of Larry's hair and it comes off in her hand.  This is when she says, "If only you had said something forty years ago."
- As Jennifer heads for the door and Larry grabs her leg, he cries, "Don't go!  This is like a bad dream!"  "Larry, this is a bad dream," Jennifer says.  Then Larry cries, "Don't leave me.  Don't leave me."
- When Larry wakes up and is running around the house, he runs to the bookcase and says, "Mypsoian wall hanging," instead of, "Hello, you wonderful old Myposian artifacts!"
- After Larry says he wants Jennifer to stay and she agrees she wants to stay, Larry says, "But, I wouldn't want to hurt your career."  "Oh, you wouldn't," she assures him, "There will be other promotions."  "Of course there will be," Larry says, "You're so good.  You're the best.  So you'll stay?"
- When Larry comes back downstairs after seeing Jennifer and Balki guesses he fell down the stairs, Balki also points out, "Did you know it's three a.m.?"
- After Larry says he feels like he broke his leg, Balki says, "I better get you to the hospital."  "What if it's not broken?" Larry asks, "I'll look like a fool."  Balki moves Larry towards the door and says, "Don't worry, Cousin, if it's not broken, I'll break it for you."  Balki helps Larry out the door.

Continue on to the next episode . . .