Strangers Episode Guide
57 - Up a Lazy River, Part Two
First Air Date:
November 25, 1988
Nielsen Rating: 13.5 HH
TV Guide Description: Conclusion.
Lost in the wilderness, the campers wonder if it's just Mother Nature's way of
saying they shouldn't have embarked on the trip with Larry as guide.
Created by: Dale McRaven
Written by: Robert Griffard & Howard Adler
Directed by: Joel Zwick
Bronson Pinchot: Balki Bartokomous|
Mark Linn-Baker: Larry Appleton
Melanie Wilson: Jennifer Lyons
Rebeca Arthur: Mary Anne
Appearances: Dimitri can be just barely be seen sitting on the bookcase
when Balki and Larry come home, wearing what appears to be a red shawl or coat
(or maybe even a life jacket?)
"I saw one time this episode of ĎFathers Knows Bestí . . . "
"Cousin, you get lost in a full sun!"
ridiculous: Not said in this episode.
used in this episode:
"I donít know!"
Other running jokes
used in this episode:
Balki, Larry, Jennifer and Mary Anne go on a trip which turns into a disaster
Larry paints a bleak picture of the future to manipulate Balki into doing
A joke is made about Larryís height
The use of alliteration, this time based around the letter ĎFí
Balki laughs at his own joke
Balki and Larry sit and put their feet up at the same time
Marching Cadence (Sound Off)" - sung by Larry when heís trying to rally
the group to follow him
"100 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" - sung in Myposian by Balki with
Jennifer and Mary Anne singing the final line of the verse in English
"Relax" - sung by Balki when he and Larry are caught in the quicksand
- This episode includes a brief recap of the events from the previous
week before the opening credits. The same is true of all the two part
episodes plus the first episode of season eight.
- During the filming of this episode, Bronson got
water and gunk in his ear while shooting the quicksand scene. He flew to
New York to do some interviews and while there came down with an ear infection
which prevented him from flying back for the next weekís shoot. This is
why the following episode was the only flashback episode of the series, with
Bronson shooting his appearance in the final scene at a later time.
- A funny incident happened when the cast was
working with the bear named Trishka. Rebeca explained that when they were
laying on the ground pretending to be asleep the bear was supposed to walk
through the scene, but instead she kept coming over to the girls and nuzzling
their hair instead. It turns out Rebeca was chewing a stick of Dentyne and
the bear wanted some. Mark asked for some gum because he wanted the bear
to come up to him as well!
- Trishka also has a thing for Mark Linn-Baker.
As Paula Roth explained to TV Guide, Trishka was supposed to be menacing, but
she loved Mark and just wanted to hug him, so Joel Zwick had a difficult time
getting the shot.
- One blooper that didnít make the show but is still notable is when
Larry jumps up on the rock to view the river. The audience lets our a
rousing cheer when he makes the jump and stands looking. This is because
on the first take Mark jumped and then promptly fell back off the rock!
The episode begins with a quick establishing shot of the riverbank in the woods.
In a clearing, Balki carries Mary Anne over to a rock. Both are drenched.
"We can . . . we can rest here," Balki says, setting Mary Anne down.
He sits next to her and reaches over to pinch her cheeks. She spits out a
large amount of water and starts coughing. Jennifer enters the clearing
behind them, carrying Larry in her arms. Both are also drenched. She
sets Larry down and everyone puts their life jackets on the ground.
"Jennifer! Thank God youíre alive," Mary Anne sighs.
"Yeah well, when I saw Larry coming to save me I thought I was a
goner," Jennifer replies. Larry looks mortified then stands up.
"All right," he says, "the first thing we have to do is figure
out how to get out of here."
"No, Cousin," Balki contradicts,
also standing up, "the first thing we have to do is to figure out where
here is." The girls stand up
now, looking worried. "You mean weíre lost?" Jennifer asks,
"No, no, no, no, we canít be lost! The last time you got us lost we
were almost killed in an avalanche!" "Jennifer, donít
worry," Larry says calmly, "Iíll get us out of here."
"Weíre going to die!" Jennifer screams, causing Mary Anne to cry,
"Oh my God! Oh my God!" "Ladies, ladies, ladies,
please!" Balki cries, covering their mouths for a moment, "Have some
consideration. Youíre gonna wake up the owls. Now, letís just
take stock of our situation. Huh? Now this happens to be a nice,
safe spot for a campsite. Isnít it? Yes! And now Iím gonna
be handing out some assignments seeing that Iím the camping leader.
First of all we need somebody to hunt for nuts and berries, we need somebody to
head up the firewood committee, and one of you people gets to dig for the good
luck slug." Everyone looks at Balki strangely.
letís take the life jackets and spread them out to dry," Balki suggests.
"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait," Larry says as the other set the
life jackets out on a log, "Why are we making camp? All we have to do
is cut across the forest in . . . " He eyes one direction then points
the completely opposite way, " . . . that direction and weíll run right
into the other fork of the river. We just follow it down to the campsite
and weíll be there in time for the big barbecue and talent show."
"Cousin, I think that we should stay here and wait for a search
party," Balki says. "Iím with Balki," Jennifer agrees.
"Me, too," Mary Anne adds. "Uh, Balki, could I speak with
you privately?" Larry asks. "Oh sure," Balki says.
"Excuse us," Larry says to the girls and they sit down on a rock on
the other side of the clearing as Larry takes Balki aside. Larry smiles
over at the girls, who both give him a half-hearted smile back.
"You have got to let me lead
us out of here!" Larry insists to Balki. "You have got to
be kidding!" Balki answers. "Cousin, Jennifer and Mary Anne
wonít follow you," Balki notes, "Iím having kind of a hard time
myself." Balki starts back over to the girls but Larry
stops him. "All right, wait wait wait wait. Youíre the
camping leader. Theyíll follow me if you tell them to."
"Cousin, they lost their way, not their minds," Balki replies,
"But good news! Iím gonna put you in charge of gathering
nuts!" Balki squeezes Larryís cheeks playfully. Once again
Balki starts toward the girls but Larry stops him. "Balki! If I
donít get Jenniferís respect back she wonít trust me again. If she
doesnít trust me, she wonít go out with me any more." "Well,
uh," Balki sighs. "Weíll drift apart . . . Iíll wind up
alone . . . heartbroken. No wife. No children. Never to have a
darling little tyke to climb into my lap and say in a sweet, innocent voice,
ĎWhen is Uncle Balki coming over to visit? I want him to tell me more
stories of Mypos.í" Balki is moved to tears. "Oh Cousin,
I want to be an uncle!" "Of course you do!" Larry agrees.
Balki cries, then melds into, "Even though I donít know how that works
since weíre cousins."
They discuss this for a second until Balki
says, "Wait a minute. Are you sure you know how to get back to the
campsite?" "Of course!" Larry insists, "Nobody can be
wrong all the time!" Balki struggles with himself then says,
"Okay! Iíll do it!" He stands
confident for a moment until he realizes, "Oh . . . I suppose I have to now
break the news to Jennifer and Mary Anne." Larry pats Balkiís
shoulder and says, "You can do it!" "Okay!" Balki
says, not so confidently, "Well, here I go." He walks over to
where the girls are sitting. "Jennifer . . . uh, Mary Anne . . .
first of all Iíd like to tell you just how lovely you look today."
They look at Balki incredulously. "Now, uh, Iíve been thinking
about this," Balki continues, "and as camping leader . . . Iíve
decided that we should follow Cousin Larry." "WHAT?" the
girls ask in disbelief. Larry steps forward, assuming the role of a drill
sergeant. "Get Ďem up! Move Ďem out!" He goes
into a sound off military marching cadence, trying to inspire them to fall in,
which they do, following him reluctantly into the woods. "I donít
know but Iíve been told . . . " Larry sings, waiting for the echoing
reply which doesnít come. "Illinois winters are mighty cold,"
Larry sings, again waiting with no reply. "Sound off!" No
answer. "Sound off!" No reply as the weary troops follow
behind. "Ten count!" Larry counts off one, two, three,
four, on his fingers, then finishes with "Three four!" not concerned
that no one else is joining in.
the group reaches a clearing, still following Larry. Balki is leading
Jennifer and Mary in a rousing Myposian version of "100 Bottles of Beer on
the Wall" (Balki sings the first three lines in Myposian and the girls sing
the final line in English). Larry stops and exclaims, "Look!" as
he points away. He runs to a big rock and jumps up on it, standing like a
sentry for a moment before jumping down and running back to them. "I
can see the other fork of the river!" Larry reports. Everyone cheers
happily. "We made it!" cries Jennifer as she throws herself into
Larryís arms. "And it only took us five hours!" Mary Anne
adds. "The campsite canít be far from here," Larry says,
"I did it." "You did it!" Balki exclaims happily.
"I did it!" Larry repeats triumphantly, then says, "Weíll rest
here for a few minutes then weíll march into camp with our heads held
As the group steps forward we see there
are life jackets sitting on a log in the clearing. Balki, Jennifer and
Mary Anne all spot
this. Balki steps forward to pick two of them up. "Whatís
that?" Larry asks. "Life jackets," Balki sobs.
"Those look like the ones we left at the other clearing," Mary Anne
notes. "Mary Anne, this is the other clearing," Jennifer
states as Balki drops the life jackets in despair, then she turns on Larry.
"Weíve been walking for five hours and you led us in a circle."
Jennifer grabs Larry by the neck and starts throttling him viciously, forcing
him to his knees as she screams, "How could you lead us in a circle?!"
Balki steps to them, saying, "Jennifer, Jennifer. May I have a word
with you? Now, is this really fair? Shouldnít you pick on someone
your own size? Let me have him. Let me have him. Let go.
I know itís hard." Jennifer releases Larryís neck and Balki picks
him up by the back of his shirt collar, saying, "Get up." Balki
eyes Larry for a moment, then asks, "How could you lead us in a
circle?" Balki starts throttling Larry but then stops himself, saying
"All right, now," Balki says,
composing himself, "Weíve wasted a lot of daylight, so girls I want you
to go and search for firewood. Cousin
Larry and I are going to forage the forest for food."
"Fine," Jennifer says. "But wait, letís not forage the
forest for food so fast!" Larry cries, "Now I know what I did wrong.
Now I really know where Iím going. We head through the woods . . .
" Jennifer grabs Mary Anne by the arm and pulls her away to start
looking for firewood, saying, "Letís get some firewood." Larry
keeps trying to get their attention with his idea, but the girls are hearing
none of it. "Cousin, Cousin," Balki urges, "Itís over . .
. let it go." Larry starts to cry pathetically. "I
canít," he whines as he as he sits down on some rocks, "I just
canít!" "Cousin, come on," Balki says as he squats down
next to Larry, "Listen to me . . . listen to me, listen . . . itís gonna
be great!" "Yeah?" Larry whines. "Weíre gonna
build a fire!" Balki says, talking to Larry as if he were a child,
"And weíre gonna tell stories around the campfire! And weíre
gonna have a wonderful camping trip!"
"I donít wanna have a wonderful
camping trip!" Larry whines. "You donít?" Balki asks.
"No. I want Jennifer to respect me!" Larry
sobs. "Well, Cousin, that ship has sunk," Balki states plainly,
causing Larry to cry harder. "I canít believe I did this,"
Larry sobs, "I canít believe I did this!" "Cousin,
listen," Balki tries again, "Jennifer wonít be mad forever."
"She wonít?" Larry asks in a high-pitched squeal.
"No," Balki answers. "No?" Larry asks in that same
voice. "Would you stop . . . please donít make that sound,"
Balki begs, then continues, "Listen, you know what it is? Itís just
every time her life gets threatened she gets a little cranky."
"Yeah, I suppose youíre right," Larry sighs. "Well, you
see, as soon as the forest ranger comes to rescue us her head will be wearing a
big happy face!" Balki explains. "Forest ranger?" Larry
asks in a low, serious voice, then he stands up quickly, saying, "All
right, wait a minute! Jennifer is not going to be rescued by some
good-looking guy. Sheís going to be rescued by me!"
"All right, you stay here,"
Larry orders, "Iím going to go get help." Larry turns to leave
but Balki steps forward to stop him. "Now
Cousin, Cousin no!" Balki insists, "Itís going to be dark soon.
Itís not safe to travel around the woods alone." "Balki,
thereís a full moon," Larry says. "Cousin, you get lost in a
full sun!" Balki points out. "Balki, Iím going to find help or
die trying!" Larry insists. He turns and takes one step . . . right
into a pit of quicksand. Larry stares up at Balki in shock.
"Boy, are you haviní one bad day," Balki sighs. "Balki,
help . . . Iím stuck in quicksand!" Larry cries. "Cousin,
donít worry, Iíll help you," Balki offers. He steps forward and
reaches down to take Larryís two hands in his and tries to pull Larry up out
of the quicksand, but instead Balki slips and plunges into the quicksand
himself. As they look at their situation, Balki says, "Itís gonna
be kind of hard to save you from here." "Yes, yes it will,"
Larry steams. They both start to sink slowly. Realizing this, they
both start crying out for help as the scene fades to black.
Act two begins with Balki and Larry still
sinking slowly in the quicksand calling for help. "Jennifer!
Mary Anne! Help!" Balki cries. "Whereíd
they go to get firewood? Canada?" Larry asks, "Help!"
"Cousin, if I donít get out," Balki says as he starts to sink more
quickly, "I want you to pick up, I have a . . . I have a . . . I have a
roll of film at the Photorama." Larry sees Balki is about to go under
and cries, "Oh Balki! Balki, oh!" He reaches over and
somehow manages to pull Balki back up so they are at the same level again.
They both breath a sigh of relief, then start to sink again. "Cousin,
cousin, wait, wait!" Balki says, "I know how to keep us from
sinking!" "How?" Larry asks. "Well, I saw this
movie once," Balki explains. "Yes?" Larry asks impatiently.
"Did you ever see ĎTarzan Fights for his Life?" By this time
theyíre about the go under, so Larry shouts, "Spit it out! Spit it
out!" "Okay," Balki says as theyíre chins go under,
"Tarzan says that . . . that if you donít struggle then you wonít get
caught in the quicksand." "Okay, then relax," Larry urges.
"Relax!" they both repeat,
taking on mellow tones. Only their heads are above the surface now.
"Ah!" they both sigh in turns. "Balki?" Larry asks.
"Yes?" Balki answers. "Weíre not sinking," Larry
notes. "Well, of course weíre not! Tarzan donít lie!"
Balki laughs at his own comment. "Now how are we going to get out of
here?" Larry asks. "Well, now Cousin," Balki begins.
there, thereís a nice branch you can grab." "Over where?"
Larry asks. "Over there!" Balki says, motioning behind Larry by
widening his eyes. "Over there?" Larry asks, motioning with his
eyes behind Balki. "Over there!" Balki insists, emphasizing his
look more. "Oh, over there!" Larry realizes, opening his eyes in
the direction Balki was. "Over there," Balki confirms.
"Okay," Larry says, and slowly his head starts to turn in the
direction Balki was indicating. "Yes, I see it!" Larry anounces.
"Well then grab it!" Balki suggests. "All right,"
Larry says, reaching for the branch. Balki urges him to "Relax."
"Yes, Iím relaxed, Iím relaxed," Larry repeats, his hand appearing
above the surface as he reaches for the branch. As his fingers get closer
he says, "Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!" He suddenly
starts to sink and cries, "Iím sinking! Iím sinking!" as
Balki yells, "Relax! Relax!"
Finally Larry says, "Iím relaxed,
Iím relaxed," and is calm with his face just above the surface.
They both repeat, "Relax!" several times, and then Balki breaks into
the song "Relax" by Frankie Goes to Hollywood, singing, "Relax,
donít do it, when you want to go to it . . . . " Larry slowly turns
with his eyes bugging out to stare at Balki incredulously. "Balki,"
Larry says seriously. "Perhaps . . . perhaps I should try it,"
Balki suggests. "Yes, by all means," Larry agrees. Balki
slowly reaches a hand up through the surface,
showing that heís caught on to the small end of the branch that was under the
quicksand. "Yes! Yes! Yes!" Larry cries excitedly.
"See that?" Balki asks, pointing to the twig. Balki slowly
starts to pull himself out of the quicksand as Larry cries, "Yes!
Balki! Balki! You did it!" As Balki pulls himself toward
the edge, Larry slips under the surface. Balki reaches around behind and
fishes for Larry, finally pulling him up out of the muck by his hair.
Larry is in a panic and scrambles for the shore, pushing Balki under in his rush
to get out. Sitting up on the edge, Larry realizes Balki is under and
cries, "Oh Balki!" as he fishes for him. He finally pulls Balki
up by the hair and Balki lunges at Larry angrily, trying to throttle him again.
Finally Larry helps pull Balki onto the solid earth and they both lay exhausted
in each othersí arms as Larry cries, "Weíre alive! Weíre
Later that evening, they are all sitting
around a campfire. Larry is leaned back against a rock with his eyes
closed. Jennifer is
brushing her hair while Mary Anne holds up a mirror for Jennifer to see herself.
"Who wants more of Balkiís all-natural trail mix?" Balki asks,
offering it on a leaf and adding, "Fresh off the trail." The
girls take some. "This stuff tastes delicious," Jennifer says,
"What do you call these nut-like things?" "Nuts,"
Balki answers. He turns to offer some to Larry but sees his eyes are
closed. "I think heís asleep," Balki reports.
"Well, at least weíre safe for a while," Jennifer sighs.
"Oh Jennifer, try not to be too hard on Cousin Larry," Balki says,
"He was just trying to show you a good time." "But Balki,
every time he tries to show me a good time they send out a search party,"
Jennifer points out. "He knows that," Balki explains,
"Thatís the reason he tried to make this trip the best trip youíve ever
taken." "And he struck out again . . . wow," Mary Anne
I know how we can make him feel better," Balki begins, "Um, we can use
a trick the experts use. I saw one time this episode of ĎFathers Knows
Bestí and David had a problem with Ricky. And he went into the . . . .
" "No, Balki, I think youíre talking about ĎOzzie and
Harriet," Jennifer corrects. "Ooh, right right right!"
Balki realizes, then continues, "So anyway, um . . . so David got the Beav
to pretend that he needed some help . . . . " "No, no,
wait," Jennifer interrupts again, "Balki, the Beav was on ĎLeave it
to Beaver.í" "Oh, of course! Right right right,"
Balki agrees, "Thank you. Um . . . wait a minute, maybe it was . . .
it was Wally. Yeah! It was Wally who needed help. Okay . . . .
" "Was that Wally on ĎLeave it to Beaverí or Wally on
ĎOzzie and Harrietí?" Jennifer asks. "I donít know,"
Balki answers abruptly, bringing the questions to an end. "Okay, so .
. . somebody on television pretended that they needed help so that somebody else
on television would come and help them and be the hero and get their confidence
back," Balki explains.
"You mean that if we trick Larry into
doing something heroic maybe heíll get his confidence back?" Jennifer
asks. "Yeah," Balki
nods, "I was thinking maybe you could pretend to be bitten by a snake and
then I could run and hide in the bushes and you can wake Cousin Larry up and
then he can suck out the deadly poison." "Balki, thatís
great!" Mary Anne says excitedly as she starts digging in her bag.
"You like it?" Balki asks. "Yes," Mary Anne confirms,
"you can use my eyeliner pencil to draw the snake bite." Larry
opens his eyes and sits up as Jennifer asks, "Where should I put it?
On my hand?" "Uh, well I think your arm is better," Balki
suggests. "No, no, her leg!" Larry offers. "No, no,
her arm is . . . " Balki starts, then stops when he realizes Larry knows
whatís going on. "Please . . . I donít want your pity,"
Larry says. He picks up his life jacket as he gets up and moves away
behind them, dropping it to the ground and then flopping down dejectedly to the
ground on top of it. "So what did we decide?" Mary Anne asks,
"Is it gonna be on your arm or on your leg?"
later that night everyone is asleep. Balki wakes up to see the fire has
gone out, so he gets up and walks into the woods to get some more firewood.
Moments later a bear walks into the clearing, passing behind Jennifer and Mary
Anne and growling low. "Mary Anne, your stomach is growling,"
Jennifer mumbles. "Sorry," Mary Anne sleepily replies. The
bear moves past them and Jennifer slowly opens her eyes, seeing the bear as it
starts to move away. She quickly shakes Mary Anne awake. "Mary
Anne! Mary Anne!" Jennifer whispers. "What?" Mary
Anne asks. She looks and they see the bear as it goes behind a nearby
bush. "Oh, Balki!" Jennifer cries as Mary Anne realizes,
"Heís gone." They run to wake up Larry instead.
"Larry! Larry!" Jennifer cries. "Oh, Jennifer, what is
it?" Larry asks sleepily. "Bear! Bear!" Jennifer says
urgently. "A bear? Where?" Larry asks, wide awake now.
"There! There!" Jennifer cries, pointing to the bush, which is
Larry looks around, then asks,
"Whereís Balki?" "Heís not here," Mary Anne
explains. Larry smirks, saying, "Of course he isnít. I
see whatís going on." "Larry, Larry please, there really is a
bear over there," Jennifer assures him. "Oh, okay fine,"
Larry sighs, getting up. "Be careful!" Jennifer urges as Larry
walks to the bush, still looking skeptical. The bear growls from behind
the bush as Larry approaches. "Yoo hoo! Mr. Bear!" Larry
calls, "Are you hungry? Hereís my arm!" Larry sticks his
arm behind the bush. Jennifer gasps, "Larry, what are you
doing??" "Iím scaring the bear away so I can get my confidence
back," Larry explains, then turns back toward the bush and says, "Boo!
There. Okay? I got my confidence back." Larry walks back
to the girls just as Balki returns with the firewood, but Larry has his back
turned so he doesnít see him right away. "All right, Balki . . .
you can come out now," Larry calls. "What are you doing
up?" Balki asks. Larry turns and sees Balki and his eyes widen.
There is a loud growling and the bear emerges from the bush, now up on its hind
legs and moving toward them menacingly.
They react in fright. "Larry,
heís gonna get us!" Jennifer cries. Larry immediately grabs one of
the branches Balki has gathered
for firewood and yells, "All right! Everybody back!" He
runs toward the bear, waving the branch and yelling, "Back! Back!
Back, furball!" The bear puts its front paws on a rock while Larry
keeps up the waving and yelling. "I hate these woods and everything
in it! Just get out of my face! Leave us alone!" Larry
keeps yelling until the bear runs off into the woods. Larry yells
triumphantly, waving the stick one last time. Balki drops the firewood and
walks to Larry in shock. "You could have been killed!" Balki
says. "You scared it away!" Mary Anne says. "Larry,
you saved our lives!" Jennifer adds. "I did?" Larry asks,
the realizes, "Well, I guess I did. I really scared that bear away!
I really risked my life! I . . . I really think you oughta catch me."
Larry starts to faint and they ready their hands for him to fall backward into
their arms, only he falls forward and lands face down on the ground.
Larry and Balki return home and walk into
their apartment. "Ho boy," Larry sighs as they enter, "Some
weekend, huh?" "Whoa, you can say that again," Balki
agrees, "You believe that Sunday night traffic?" Larry eyes
Balki in exasperation. "Balki, I was referring to almost drowning in
a river, getting lost in the woods and being attacked by a bear," Larry
explains. "Oh! Well, that
too," Balki agrees, "Yes, by all means that was quite . . . quite
something." They move to the couch and both sit down and put their
feet up on the coffee table at the same time. The bottoms of their boots
are coated with mud. "How long do you think it will be before
Jennifer forgets that I saved her life and remembers that I was the one who
risked it?" Larry asks. "Oh, Ďbout a . . . week, ten days
tops," Balki answers. "Well, Iím gonna enjoy it while I
can," Larry says, "You know, on the bus ride home Jennifer looked at
me differently. Her eyes swelled up with what I have to think is a
newfound respect for me." "Well, they did swell up,
Cousin," Balki agrees, "but Iím pretty sure it was from the poison
ivy you gather for her to sleep on." "Poison ivy?" Larry
asks, "Canít be. I used the same leaves to make my bed."
As Larry says this he starts to scratch his shoulder. Balki looks at this
and Larry slowly realizes the truth, then starts scratching more vigorously.
on to the next episode . . .