Strangers Episode Guide
58 - College Bound (aka Wrap Around)
First Air Date:
December 9, 1988
Nielsen Rating: 13.7 HH
TV Guide Description: While
Balki takes his college-entrance exams, Larry and friends prepare a surprise
party and reminisce (via clips from past episodes) about Balki's introduction to
life in America.
Created by: Dale McRaven
Written by: William Bickley & Michael Warren
& Paula A. Roth
Directed by: Joel Zwick
Bronson Pinchot: Balki Bartokomous
Mark Linn-Baker: Larry Appleton
Melanie Wilson: Jennifer Lyons
Rebeca Arthur: Mary Anne
Belita Moreno: Miss Lydia Markham
Jo Marie Payton-France: Harriette Winslow
Appearances: Dimitri can be seen on the bookcase wearing a black
graduation cap and gown.
"Before you sing ĎFor Heís a Jolly Good Feloní . . . "
ridiculous: Not said in this episode.
used in this episode:
Other running jokes
used in this episode:
Harriette and Lydia argue with one another
Mary Anne says something incredibly complex in an odd context
The Dance of Joy
Balki passes his college entrance examinations
"For Heís a Jolly Good Fellow" - everyone starts to sing this to
Balki after learning he has passed his exams
- According to the shooting script, the episode is
titled "College Bound" but was also known as "Wrap Around."
- This is the only flashback episode of the series. It was done in
part because of the ear infection Bronson developed during the filming of the
previous episode. Because he could not get back to Los Angeles from New
York for the showís filming they did this flashback episode and shot
Bronsonís final scene at a later time.
- When Bronson enters at the end of the episode he
is wearing a sweatshirt with the phrase "Be a Winner. Dial
College" on the front. The logo below the saying is that of the
actual City Colleges of Chicago.
- There is a basic
concept flaw in this episode in the fact that Jennifer and Lydia are both
telling stories from accounts told to them by Balki. But would Balki tells
the stories in a way that would really make Larry look bad? Or were they
able to deduce Larry's foolishness even from Balki's positive accounts?
episode begins in Balki and Larryís apartment, which is decorated with banners
and balloons. A banner that reads "Congratulations Balki" is
under the kitchen counter. Jennifer and Mary Anne are arranging hors
díouvres on trays on the counter. Harriette is at the dining table
pouring soda into a punch bowl. Lydia approaches from the kitchen with a
container of ice cream and is about to scoop some into the bowl as well.
"What are you doing?" Harriette asks quickly. "Iím gonna
put ice cream in the punch," Lydia explains. "You donít put it
in now!" Harriette scolds, "Itís gonna melt before Balki gets
here." "Well, youíre putting the soda in," Lydia points
out. "Soda doesnít melt," Harriette explains, "Donít
you know anything about making punch?" "Oh, I can make a
punch!" Lydia threatens, curling her fist at Harriette, who stands in
Larry is standing by the fireplace,
looking worried. He crosses the room to the girls. "Maybe I
should have gone down to the school
with Balki," he sighs, "He was so nervous." "Larry,
you canít take his entrance exam for him," Jennifer explains, carrying a
tray of snacks to the coffee table, "Itís just one of those things he has
to do on his own." "But getting into college is so important to
Balki," Larry continues. He sees the girls have sat down on the couch
and so he sits as well. "Gosh, Balki going to college," Mary
Anne thinks aloud, "It seems like he just graduated from high school."
"He did just graduate from high school," Jennifer reminds Mary Anne.
"Oh, right," Mary Anne says as everyone looks at her. "You
know," she continues, "I donít know what the big deal is about
college. I went to college and other than learning how complex hydro
carbons are broken down to make glyceride I didnít get a thing out of
it." "Balki going to college," Larry sighs thoughtfully,
"I canít believe heís come so far so fast. If you had seen him
when he first walked through my door you wouldnít have thought he was college
material." The picture gets wavy as we melt into a flashback:
First Flashback from Knock
Knock . . . Whoís There?
opens the front door to find Balki, who looks somewhat out of place standing
there. Balki refers to a slip of paper and asks "Am I looking up
Larry Appleton?" "Larry Appleton, that's me," Larry smiles.
Balki is overjoyed, launching through the door and hugging Larry in glee, crying
"Larry, Larry, Larry! I look everywhere for you! I walk the
streets, I search the alleys, I say to everyone, 'Have you seen Larry?'
You don't know how many people have never heard of you! But now I find you
and I'm safe, I'm safe, I'm safe!" He hugs a surprised Larry again.
"Yes, yes," Larry agrees, "Now you're safe! Who are
you?" "I am Balki Bartokomous! Philo, my fifth cousin three
times removed is the step-uncle to your father on my motherís side, two
continents removed." "I see, so weíre sort of related by
rumor," Larry quips, still stunned Balki looks around Larry's apartment,
hardly able to contain his joy. "America!" he sighs, "Land
of my dreams, home of the Whopper."
scene dissolves back to the present day where Harriette and Lydia have joined
the others. "You mean thatís why you two got to be roommates,"
Harriette comments, "Balki just showed up on your doorstep one day?"
"Yep," Larry confirms, "He was a real babe in the woods.
Yeah, if I hadnít taken him under my wing thereís no telling what would have
happened to him. He had no experience with women. I had to teach him
everything." "You know, Balki told me about the time you took
him to that singleís bar," Jennifer says to Larry. "He
did?" Larry asks with surprise. Jennifer nods. "Uh, the way
Balki tells it you were both babes in the woods." Jennifer leans over
to share the story as the scene dissolves again, saying, "See, Larry took
Balki to a singleís bar to meet women . . . . "
Second Flashback from First
Balki and Larry enter the
singleís bar and Balki immediately starts moving to the music. "So,
this is one of your American mating
places," Balki notes. "Meeting, a meeting place," Larry
corrects him quickly, "People meet each other here. They mate
somewhere else." Larry then says, "Go slow, take it easy.
Be cool." They head for the bar as Balki assures Larry, "I know
how to be cool!" Balki walks with a loose gait as he veers away from
Larry and approaches two women at a table, remarking to one of them, "Hey
Mamo, you be gettin' down wid you bad self!" Larry rushes over and
grabs Balki, pulling him over to the bar quickly where they sit down.
"All right, let's get this over with so I can go home," Larry sighs,
"Now the first thing is what we call eye contact." "Eye
contact," Balki repeats, "Like the Three Stooges?" Balki
motions a classic Stooges eye poke bit at an non-amused Larry. "All
right, I'm gone, I'm outta here," Larry states, turning to leave.
"No no, Cousin, Cousin!" Balki stops him, pulling him back.
Larry agrees, sitting back down, "Look, for safety's sake we had better
define eye contact. You look . . . you look . .
. into a woman's eyes from across the room, and if she looks back, you know, you
kind of hold the look . . . that's eye contact." "Like that
woman is looking at you?" Balki asks, spotting a woman on the other side of
the bar. "What woman?" Larry asks. Balki raises his left
hand to point across the bar and Larry grabs it, pushing it down. Balki
then points with his right hand and Larry grabs that and pushes it down as well.
"Don't point!" Larry insists. Balki then points her out with his
nose. Larry ventures a look and sees the woman is indeed looking and
smiling at him. Larry looks embarrassed then continues, "After you've
made eye contact you work your way over to the woman and you use your opening
line. Something like, uh . . . do you come here often? . . . can I buy you
a drink? . . . didn't we meet in the Oval office? Things like that."
"Can I try it?" Balki asks excitedly. "Oh . . . oh . . .
okay," Larry agrees nervously.
Balki prepares himself
them starts scanning the room with his eyes. He makes eye contact with a
shy-looking blonde at the end
of the bar. She smiles back at him. "I have made eye
contact," Balki informs Larry. "Oh boy!" Larry says, still
worried. "Can I try my opening line?" Balki asks.
"All right, go ahead," Larry says, "Just, uh . . . don't tell her
you know me." Balki walks around to the woman, leaning over her
shoulder to say, "Hello. Do you come here often?" The
woman sighs, "No." "Would you smother me with your
beautiful American body?" Balki asks, slumping down slowly as if to drop to
his knees. Larry leaps from his barstool and runs to Balki, grabbing him
to hold him up. "Excuse us!" Larry offers, pushing Balki back to
his barstool, then turning on Balki to say, "You were one step away from
throwing yourself at that woman's feet, weren't you?" "Old
habits die hard," Balki admits, "Why don't you show me, Cousin Larry,
you're the expert!" "Look . . . look, I . . . I just don't like
these places," Larry stammers, "and besides, I'm . . . I'm more of a
kind of a uh, talking expert than a, uh . . . uh . . . I really don't want to
Balki looks across the bar
and notes, "That woman is still looking at you." "She
is?" Larry asks, looking away. Balki follows her
eyes and confirms, "Yes, she is." Larry slowly looks up at her
and sees she is smiling at him. "Oh my God, she is!" Larry says,
looking down again. "Go ahead and get her, you love devil!"
Balki encourages. Larry looks at her hopefully, then says, "All
right. This is a little faster than I usually like to operate. I'm
only doing this for you!" Balki nods his thank you and Larry gets off
his stool and casually starts to make his way around the bar. As he
suavely makes his way to the other end of the bar we can see that the woman
Balki had talked to has walked down to his end of the bar and is seated in
Larry's place, talking to Balki. Larry sidles into the barstool next to
the woman who has been eyeing him and begins, "So . . . . " He
is immediately grabbed by the throat by a huge man who was sitting at a nearby
table. "Hey, pal . . . that's my girlfriend!" he says, dragging
Larry out of the bar. Larry tries to call to Balki for help but can't yell
out with his throat constricted. Balki is too busy talking to the blonde
to see Larry being pulled out the front door.
Dissolving back to the present day
everyone is laughing at Jenniferís story, especially Harriette.
"Boy, I wish I couldíve seen
that! Iím a sucker for a cheap laugh!" Harriette howls.
"You know, I donít mean to split hairs here but that is not at all the
way I remember it," Larry insists. Lydia walks over from the
fireplace to sit on the arm of Harrietteís chair as she asks, "Well, did
the guy beat you up or not?" Larry hesitates, stammering, "W . .
. well . . . beat up is such a strong term." "Sounds like he got
his butt kicked!" Harriette laughs and everyone joins in. "Look,
there have been countless times that Balki has needed me and I have been there
for him," Larry defends himself, saying, "For instance the time he
invited his friend Gina to stay with us while her husband was out of town."
"Gina, isnít she the one who had her baby while she was staying with
you?" Jennifer asks. "Yes! In the middle of the
night!" Larry confirms, "And if I had not been there with one of my
foolproof plans . . . well, there is no telling what would have happened."
"Thatís interesting," Lydia says, "the way I heard it your
plans sort of fell apart." "Well . . . " Larry begins.
"Larry had rehearsed everything using a stopwatch," Lydia continues as
the scene dissolves once again, "so he . . . . "
Third Flashback from Hello,
Gina waddles to the sofabed where Balki and Larry are both asleep. "Balki,
itís time," Gina says gently, shaking Balki awake. Balki looks up,
asking, "Gina? Itís time?" "Yes!" Gina
answers. "Ah Gina, how exciting!" Balki says, getting up,
"A little baby!" Larry stirs slowly, barely opening his eyes.
Dimitri is in his arms. "Mmm? Why is the light on?"
"The babyís coming, Larry," Gina answers. "What
baby?" Larry mumbles, "Who are you? Why am I holding a
sheep?" "He doesnít wake up well," Balki tells Gina, then
he leans down toward Larry, "Cousin, itís Gina. Remember the
plan?" Larry awakes in an instant now. "The plan?
Yes, of course I remember the plan. Itís my plan!" Larry assures
them, "All right. No need to worry. First babies take a long
time." "Oh well, Larry, Iíve been in labor a long time,"
Gina informs him. "Why didnít you tell us?" Larry asks.
"Well, I didnít want to bother you, you were up so late," Gina
Larry leaps up out of bed.
"All right! Donít panic!" He clicks the stopwatch in his
hand and shouts, "Go!" He turns and runs
straight into the end table, knocking all the books to the floor and almost
upsetting the lamp, which he hangs onto and fumbles with. Balki walks to
the phone and asks, "Are you all right?" as Larry reaches him.
"Yes, yes Iím okay," Larry insists, "What are you doing?"
"Calling the hospital," Balki explains, dialing and waiting for an
answer. "Calling the hospital is my job, you get the suitcase!"
Larry insists, snatching the receiver away from Balki and dialing madly.
"But . . . I called the hospital last time," Balki reminds him.
"Look, I gave you a chance to prove you were a good communicator and what
did you say? ĎHello, hospital. Baby is coming!í Cavemen
are more articulate!" Larry motions for Balki to go to the closet to get
the suitcase. "Could you please hurry?" Gina begs, then she
bends over and cries out in pain. Startled by this, Larry says into the
receiver, "Hello, hospital? The baby is coming!" Larry
hangs up and stands, looking confused.
Balki offers. "I forgot to tell them who I was!" Larry realizes,
picking up the receiver again. "Oh, Larry Larry thereís no
time," Gina insists, "We get to the hospital, they probably figure out
why Iím there." She opens the door and walks out into the hall.
"Good thinking," Larry agrees as Balki throws their coats to him and
he in turn throws them out the door into Ginaís arms, "Okay, all right .
. . no need to panic . . . everything is under control." Balki picks
up the suitcase and heads out after Gina as Larry takes the map thatís taped
up to the door and says, "All right, I get the map and we are gone . . .
" He steps into the doorway and stops the stopwatch, eyeing the time
before crying triumphantly, "Yes!" Larry throws the stopwatch
onto the nearby table and hurries out the door, closing it behind him. A
moment later the door bursts open again and Larry dashes in frantically,
followed by a very calm Balki who walks to the closet. "My keys!
My keys! Where are my keys?" Larry cries. "Theyíre in
your pants," Balki answers calmly. "Where are my pants?
Where are my pants?" Larry cries. "Theyíre in the
closet," Balki answers. "Whereís the closet? Whereís
the closet?" Larry yells, running around the apartment, "Okay, look
look . . . we canít get to the hospital without my keys!"
"Cousin . . . " Balki tries to calm Larry.
me now!" Larry snaps as he starts throwing things around in a mad search
for his keys, crying, "Look, look . . . I
donít have my keys, I donít have my pants, I canít do this! She will
just have to have the baby at some other time!" He wheels on Balki,
screaming, "Why donít you help me?" Balki holds up Larryís
car keys, making Larry look angry. "Oh! Oh, I see!" Larry
pants, "Youíre trying to make me look bad in front of Gina."
He motions behind him to no one and realizes it. "Where is Gina?
Where is the mother? We canít do this without the mother!"
Larry stands panting and gasping in front of Balki, who says, "Cousin . . .
some day you forgive me for this." Balki slaps Larry across the face
and Larry looks stunned. Balki looks shocked as well, then tentatively
asks, "Feel better?" "No!" Larry answers honestly.
"Can we go have a baby now?" Balki asks. "Okay," Larry
nods, "Iíll follow you." Balki walks past him to the door and
Larry asks, "Where are you going?" "To the hospital,"
Balki explains. "Right! Yes!" Larry agrees, stepping out
the door and saying, "Gina! There you are! Thank God!"
Balki closes the door behind them and the scene fades to black.
Act two begins at the apartment with
everyone still reminiscing. Larry looks uncomfortable as everyone laughs
at his expense. "You
know, Iím a little worried about Balki," Jennifer says, "Shouldnít
he be finished with his exam by now?" "What if he sat down to
take the test and froze up?" Lydia speculates, "What if his mind went
blank and he couldnít remember a thing? What if he got dizzy and the
room started spinning and he started hy . . . hyperventilating . . . . "
Lydia is carried away by her description. "You mean like what happens
to you when you sit down to write your advice column?" Harriette asks.
Lydia stands up angrily. "All right . . . all right . . . Iím just
not gonna talk any more. That way no one can make fun of me."
Lydia walks to the chair opposite Harriette and sits down in a huff.
"Ladies, ladies," Larry pleads, "Weíre all a little edgy
because weíre worried about Balki. Maybe I should have gone down there
with him. He always needs me to get through these pressure situations.
If I wasnít there to help him he wouldnít have gotten through his first day
of work." "Wait a minute," Harriette stops Larry, "I
was there. And I wouldnít call what you did help. Now Gorpley was
looking for a reason to fire Balki, and Larry was trying to write his first
article for the newspaper, when all of a sudden . . . . " The scene
Fourth Flashback from All
the News That Fits
Gorpley exits his office and calls Balki over, asking "You finished?"
"Yes yes yes, I finished," Balki confirms. "This is all of
Ďem?" Gorpley asks incredulously. "Yes, Iím sorry it take so
long but I thought that I would alphabeticalize them," Balki explains.
"Is that okay?" "You think youíre pretty smart, donít
you?" Gorpley asks. "Well, Iím no Sam Donaldson, but . . .
" Balki shrugs humbly. "Weíll see how smart you are,"
Gorpley smirks, holding up a paper. "I need one hundred copies of
this flyer. Youíve got ten minutes." "Oh but guess
what," Balki says, "The copy machine is broke." "Hey,
relax! Iím looking out for ya!" Gorpley says smoothly, "You can use
the mimeograph machine. See, I even got your stencil all ready to go.
Ten minutes, Bartokomous . . . and if you canít do the job, I know someone who
can!" He gives Balki a phony smile as he walks up the stairs.
Larry, whoís working on
his article, asks, "Balki, you need help with the mimeograph machine?"
"Oh, no no, Cousin," Balki assures him. "Good," Larry
sighs, continuing his work. "Just . . . point it out to me,"
Balki admits. Larry gets the machine from
behind the stairs, saying, "Back here . . . look here. Just wheel it
out to your table and Iíll plug it in." Balki wheels the machine
toward his table as Larry takes the cord and moves the opposite direction to
plug it in, but the cord is too short and Larry ends up getting pulled down to
the ground when Balki wheels the machine too far and too fast. Balki
wheels the huge machine back to where Larry can plug it in and Larry tells Balki,
"All right, get the stencil." Balki brings the stencil and Larry
says, "Okay, get the paper." Balki gets some paper and hurries
back. "Okay," Larry says, having placed the stencil in the
machine, "Stencilís on . . . paper goes in here . . . and you turn it on
here. Get it?" Larry asks. "Got it!" Balki answers.
"Good," Larry finishes and goes back to his desk. Larry starts
typing on his article as Balki turns on the mimeograph machine and the copies
start flying out loosely onto the floor as Balki tries to catch them.
After a moment the papers stop coming out and Balki is flustered, not
understanding why itís stopped working. "Howís it goiní, Balki?"
Larry asks without looking. "Oh, itís going fine!" Balki lies,
"Just dandy. You just finish your article."
Finally Balki stops the
machine and Larry looks around, seeing Balki is having trouble. "Balki!"
Larry says in shock, getting up to help. "No no no! No problem!
No problem, Cousin!" Balki insists. Mr. Burns appears at the top of
the stairs, calling out "Applebee!" "Uh, yes sir!"
Larry answers, moving back toward his desk. "I need that article in
five minutes!" Mr. Burns
announces. "Yes, thatís Appleton, sir! Appleton!" Larry
calls, torn between sitting at his desk and going back to help Balki.
"All right," Larry finally decides and walks over to Balki to help.
"Cousin, no, you have to do your article!" Balki pushes Larry back to
his desk, saying he has to do his article. "Balki, look, I can do
this in just a minute," Larry pushes Balki back over to the mimeograph.
"But you only have five minutes!" Balki pushes Larry back to his desk
again. Larry ends up pushing Balki aside and goes to the machine.
"All right, look, hereís the problem," Larry explains, "You got
all these papers jammed under the drum here." The machine starts
running again but the papers are still flying out onto the floor.
"Get the basket!" Larry tells Balki. "The basket?"
Balki asks. "The paper basket!" Larry explains. "The
paper basket," Balki repeats, hurrying off to get it. Larry makes
some adjustments to the mimeograph and turns it on again, not realizing that his
tie is now in the drum. When he turns the machine on it pulls his tie in,
pulling Larry down toward the machine and trapping him.
Balki runs back and eyes
the situation in shock. "Cousin! Itís alive! And itís
hungry!" he cries. "Turn it off! Turn it off!" Larry
yells, but Balki canít get the machine to shut off. Balki grabs Larry by
the neck and tries pulling him out of the machine, then when that doesnít work
he grabs Larryís head and then his ears and keeps pulling. Larry cries
"The plug!" repeatedly to Balki, finally grabbing Balki by the hair
and insisting, "The plug!" Balki cries ow and when Larry
releases him runs over and pulls the
machineís plug out of the wall, shouting, "I did it!" The
machine releases its grip but still has the end of Larryís tie in the drum.
The elevator door opens and Mr. Burns steps out, calling "Appleton!
Where is the story?" Unable to move away from the machine, Larry
explains, "Mr. Burns, something came up and I still have a bit of polishing
to do." In an attempt to help, Balki grabs a pair of scissors and
without a word cuts Larryís tie in half, freeing him. "This is
news, not silverware!" Mr. Burns cries, "I need a story!"
Balki runs to Larry desk and picks up one of the wrinkled paper lying there and
hands it to Mr. Burns. "Mr. Burns, it was my fault," Balki says,
"I accidentally threw his article away but I just found it."
"Well, actually, thatís not the final final version, if I could just have
a . . . . " Mr. Burns reads it and stops Larry, saying "Itís
pretty good." "Well, Mr. Burns, if I could only . . . pretty
good?" Larry asks happily. "Iíd say for your first assignment
itís pretty good," Mr. Burns smiles, then says, "See you on Monday,
Appleton! Then maybe you can explain to me why you were trying to
mimeograph your tie!"
The scene dissolves back to the living
room and everyone except Larry is laughing at this latest story.
"Okay, okay. All right,"
Larry says, "That particular time Balki was more help to me than I was to
him. But that was an exception. More often than not he wouldnít
know what to do unless I led him by the hand. Come on! You guys know
that! I mean, why do I feel like Iím defending myself? Think of
all the times that if I wasnít there he wouldnít know what to do."
Everyone thinks hard but they all remain silent. "Jennifer, you can
think of something!" Larry urges. "Oh, of course I can,"
she agrees, and she thinks but also doesnít come up with anything.
"Harriette?" Larry asks desperately. "I got nothiní,
baby," Harriette assures him. "Lydia?" Larry asks.
"Iím not saying anything," Lydia says, "I donít want to open
myself to insults." "Iíve got one!" Mary Anne announces.
"There! You see?" Larry says happily. "I remember the
time you taught Balki all about plumbing!" Mary Anne says. Larry
looks worried as Mary Anne begins the story. "You see, Jennifer and I
were out of town and Larry offered to fix our shower . . . and so he and Balki
went up there while we were gone . . . . " The scene dissolves into
flashback once more.
Fifth Flashback from Pipe
We see Balki and Larry
sitting on the edge of the tub in the girlsí now-demolished bathroom.
"Boy Cousin . . . this place looks like
the Ty-D-Bol Man went berserk." "You want to make an omelette,
you have to break some eggs," Larry comments, "A few cans of spackle
and youíll never know weíve been here." Balki eyes the walls
again and then gazes at Larry in wonder, remarking, "Boy, this spackle must
be amazing stuff!" "Yes, it is," Larry answers.
"Well, what do you say we button this job up?" Larry asks as he stands
up, "Jennifer and Mary Anne will be back tonight!" As they
stand, Balki finds a very long pipe with a valve on it lying on the floor.
"Cousin . . . where does this go?" Balki and Larry both look at the
shower and tub then turn back to the pipe. "Trash," Larry
finally answers. Balki tosses the pipe aside with a loud clank.
"Well, I think weíre ready to test this baby," Larry announces, and
they turn to the shower, which Larry turns on. There is the growing sound
of water building up in the pipe and then the shower head flies off the pipe
riding on a spray of water and flies across the bathroom to crash into the
mirror above the sink, shattering it and sending water shooting all over the
mirror and sink.
Larry and Balki share a
look, then Larry tries to turn off the water but both of the faucets come off in
his hands. "Itís broken!" Larry cries. "Nooooo!"
Balki says sarcastically. Larry tosses the faucets aside and he and Balki
jump into the tub and try to hold the water coming out of the pipe back with
their hands. Suddenly the faucets burst off the sink and water spurts out
of the two
openings. "Well, do something!" Larry cries to Balki.
Balki runs over to the sink and sticks his fingers into the holes to stop the
water. Water then bursts out of the toilet in a geyser.
"Donít look at me!" Balki cries. "Find the turnoff
valve!" Larry cries. "I think itís underneath the sink!"
Balki calls. "Then turn it off!" Larry yells, "Turn it
off!" Balki is trying to pull his fingers out of the faucet holes but
theyíre stuck. "Cousin, I canít, my fingers are stuck!"
Balki cries, "Go on without me, Cousin, save yourself!" Larry
releases the shower pipe, which then squirts Balki on the back as Larry hurries
over to help him pull his fingers out of the faucet holes. Having done
this, Larry sits Balki down on the toilet, which is still spraying water (much
to Balkiís apparent pleasure). Larry then moves Balki to sit on the edge
of the tub as he opens the doors of the cabinet beneath the sink and they are
soaked with the cascade of water which comes out. Larry reaches underneath
and finally manages to turn off the water. The cousins sit in the flooded
bathroom, exhausted and shocked, debris floating everywhere. "Well .
. . . " Larry finally sighs.
scene dissolves back to the living room where Mary Anne looks guilty.
"Maybe that wasnít a good example," she admits. "I guess
Iím wrong," Larry sighs, "I havenít been helping Balki.
Iíve been holding him back." Larryís eyes widen. "Oh
my God! I helped him study for his entrance exam! He probably went
down there and failed all because of me. I should get out of his
life." The door suddenly bursts open and Balki runs in, wearing a
yellow cap and blue sweatshirt. He cries, "Look at me! Iím a
college man!" before throwing the cap into the air. Everyone gets up
and runs to the door to greet him. Larry prompts everyone to start singing
"For Heís a Jolly Good Fellow" but Balki stops them before they
really get started. "Wait wait wait!" Balki urges, "Before
you sing ĎFor Heís a Jolly Good Feloní thereís something I want to say.
Like so many other things that have happened to me since I come to this country,
I couldnít have done this without my Cousin Larry."
Larry asks happily. "Well, yes!" Balki assures him.
"Did you hear that?" Larry asks, "He couldnít have done it
without me. What was it? The coaching I gave you on the language
section?" "Well . . . " "Or the work I did with
you on the math drills?" "Well . . . " "Or the
mnemonic coding I gave you to remember the history dates?"
"Well, those were all great," Balki admits, "but I was referring
to the fact that you loaned me your pencil." Balki holds up a pencil.
Larry looks stunned until Balki says, "Oh come on, Cousin! Iím just
kidding. Thatís college humor." Balki hands his books to
Harriette and grabs Larryís arms. "Cousin, what do you say?
Now we are so happy, we do the Dance of Joy!" They launch into the
Dance of Joy, finishing with Larry in Balkiís arms and everyone applauding
There are a few
differences between the shooting script dated November 18, 1988 and the final
Mary Anne says it seems that Balki just graduated from high school, Jennifer
says, "He did just graduate from high school. That's what you do.
You graduate from high school then you go to college." Mary Anne then
says "Oh, right" and makes her comment about learning how complex
hydro carbons are broken down to make glycerides, to which Jennifer explains to
Larry, "She was part of a chemistry experiment in college."
of saying, "I'm a sucker for a cheap laugh," Harriette's line after
the single's bar story was "Talk about the blind leading the blind."
Lydia refuses to talk because she doesn't want to "open myself to
insults," Harriette quips, "Honey, you're a revolving door to
Balki runs in the front door he says, "Look at me. I'm a college man.
Boola boola boola . . . Whatever that means." After Balki says
that he couldn't have done it without his Cousin Larry, Larry asks
"Really?" Balki answers, "Yes" and Larry simply says
to the others "See?" before they do the Dance of Joy.
was an alternative scene included with the script on the chance that Bronson
would not be able to make it back at all that week for the filming. After
Larry worries he may have hurt Balki's chances to pass the exam the phone rings.
Larry answers it, saying, "Balki, where are you?" To the others
he explains, "It's Balki." "We know that," Harriette
says, "How did he do on his entrance exam?" Larry asks into the
phone, "How did you do on your entrance exam?" To everyone Larry
says, "He says, 'yip yip sik likki.'" Realizing he doesn't know
what that means, Larry says, "In English, Balki. In English."
He listens, then reports, "He passed." Everyone cheers.
Larry then says into the phone, "What? Oh thank you. That's
very nice." "What did he say?" Jennifer asks.
Vindicated, Larry announces, "He said he couldn't have done it without
me." Into the phone he says, "What? Yes, Balki, now we are
so happy we do the dance of joy . . . But we can't because we're on the
phone." Larry is embarrassed as he says, "Well, I guess if it
means that much to you." Larry proceeds to do his half of the Dance
of Joy on the phone. (If this scene had been used instead of the other one
it would have marked the only time Mark said the line "Now we are so happy
we do the Dance of Joy.")
on to the next episode . . .