Strangers Episode Guide
59 - The Gift of the Mypiot
First Air Date:
December 16, 1988
Nielsen Rating: 12.8 HH
Description: Balki gets caught up in the Christmas spirit and invites the
lonely Mr. Gorpley to the boys' Christmas Eve party, which ruins the holiday
mood for Scroogelike Larry.
Created by: Dale McRaven
Written by: John B. Collins
Directed by: Joel Zwick
Bronson Pinchot: Balki Bartokomous
Mark Linn-Baker: Larry Appleton
Melanie Wilson: Jennifer Lyons
Rebeca Arthur: Mary Anne
Belita Moreno: Miss Lydia Markham
Jo Marie Payton-France: Harriette Winslow
Sam Anderson: Mr. Sam Gorpley
Jim Doughan: Jimmy the Security Guard
Kate Finlayson: Allyson
Dimitri is not seen in this episode.
"You said you were choking. Iím giving you the ham hock maneuver!"
"Well, Cousin Larryís having a nervous break dance."
"I have never been realer."
ridiculous: Not said in this episode.
used in this episode:
"Well, we gotta talk about that."
"What was the question?"
"Are you crazy?"
Other running jokes
used in this episode:
Balki avoids answering a question of Larryís because he know he wonít like
the answer, countering with simple questions of his own
Lydia wears one of her fancy party dresses
Balki dressed as Balki Claus
"Hark the Herald Angels Sing" - sung by everyone at the end of the
- The name of this
episode is a take off on the name of a classic O. Henry Christmas story entitled
The Gift of the Magi.
- The snow in the transition scenes of the apartment and Chronicle
buildings were special effects done with matte paintings and superimposed snow.
Kate Finlayson appears as "Allyson" in this episode and is seen
at the beginning of the episode and again at the Christmas party, although she
is not present during the second half of the party (this is because of a scene
that was cut from the show). The character of Allyson apparently works at
the Chicago Chronicle but no other mention of her is ever made in the series and
she never made another appearance. Kate Finlayson now teaches classes in
NIA (Neuromuscular Integrative Action) and has her own website.
- This was the second (and last) Christmas episode
made for the series. Once again Balki dresses as Santa and calls himself
Balki Claus. Itís surprising there were no more Christmas episodes for
the rest of the series, seeing what an important holiday it was for Balki and
- When Balki makes the comment that "This is
not Geraldo" after Harriette tries to attack Mr. Gorpley, heís refering
to Geraldo Riveraís then popular afternoon show which was very much in the
style of The Jerry Springer Show today.
- Sometime between the arrival of Mr. Gorpley and
the appearance of Balki Claus two of the guests, Allyson (the woman seen at
the office at the beginning of the episode) and Jimmy have left and two other
guests arrive . . . an unknown woman and the man who is also often seen in the
mailroom (and elsewhere) as a regular background character. The
disappearance of Jimmy and Allyson is explained in the script variations below.
- Sam Anderson said that his was his favorite
episode, which is understandable considering it is the most dramatic one in
which his character, Mr. Gorpley, was featured.
- After the end credits there is a shot of Balki
and Larry sitting at the window looking out at the snow with the words
"Happy Holidays" superimposed on the screen. Jennifer and Mary
Anne can be seen in the background, as well as Harriette.
- Included in the shooting script for this episode
was the pickup of the scene for College Bound with Bronson that wasn't
filmed the previous week due to Bronson's ear infection which prevented him from
flying back to Los Angeles from New York for that week's filming.
- At this point Balki and Larry have been working at the newspaper for
less than two seasons (or two years). However, Mr. Gorpley tells his
mother that his wife has been remarried for the past two years and mentions
later in the episode he was divorced three years before. Yet Harriette
threatened to tell Mr. Gorpley's wife that he was messing around in the elevator
at the company Christmas party during the first episode of season three, the
first week Balki and Larry were working at the paper.
episode begins in the basement of the Chicago Chronicle. Balki is at his
worktable with Jimmy the security guard, Lydia and another female co-worker
named Allyson. "Harriette! Harriette!" Balki calls,
motioning toward the elevator, "Come over and look the Christmas present my
mother sent me from Mypos." Harriette hurries over as Balki reaches
into a box and pulls out a carved, ornate wooden cup with a lid. Everyone gasps
in awe. "Oh, Balki, itís beautiful!" Lydia comments, then
asks, "Is it hand-carved?" "Yeah, itís a Davros
cup," Balki explains, "Itís made by the finest artist on Mypos,
Davros Praxiteles." "Look at the detail on it!" Harriette
notes, taking the cup to look at it closer. "It take him one year
just to carve one cup," Balki explains as Jimmy takes it to look closer.
Gorpley walks out of his office, saying, "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
What is this? Just because itís Christmas Eve doesnít mean weíre not
still working here. Come on, clear the area. Letís go."
Everyone walks away and Jimmy hands the cup back to Balki. "Mr.
Gorpley," Balki says, "Mr. Gorpley!" "What?" Mr.
Gorpley asks in annoyance. "Look the beautiful cup my mother send me
for Christmas!" "I know, I heard," Mr. Gorpley scowls,
"Your mother loves you, she gave you a present, Iím all choked up."
Balki sets the cup on the table and runs behind Mr. Gorpley, grabbing him around
the middle and squeezing tightly. "Bartokomous, what are you
doing?" Gorpley cries. "You said you were choking. Iím
giving you the ham hock maneuver!" Balki explains. "Iím over
it," Gorpley assures him.
enters from the parking garage, looking frazzled and harried. Heís
carrying a box and is panting from exhaustion. "Cousin!" Balki
says worriedly, "Cousin, what . . . were you mugged?"
"Worse!" Larry announces, "I went shopping on Christmas Eve!
Itís a madhouse out there." In the background we see Mr. Gorpley
holding the cup and looking sad as he listens in to their conversation.
Larry opens the box he was carrying and pulls out a pretty pink sweater with a
sparkly pattern on it which he holds up for Balki to see. "This . . .
huh?" Larry asks, "What do you think?" "Well, I
donít know," Balki says uncertainly, "I think itís a little busy
for you, but . . . . " Both Larry and Gorpley roll their eyes.
"No, no, itís not for me," Larry explains, "Itís for
Jennifer." "Oh!" Balki realizes, "Well! In that
case itís quietly elegant." "Cost me $125 but itís worth
it," Larry says, "Iím gonna give it to Jennifer at our party
tonight. And just between you and me, I think sheís gonna be
youíre uh . . . having a little Christmas party tonight, Ďey Appleton?"
Gorpley asks as he walks over to them. "Party?" Larry asks as he
puts the sweater back into the box, "Uh, well no, weíre not having a
party. I wouldnít call it a party as such. You know, just a few,
few people getting together and killing time." "Iíll have
to watch that on Lifestyles of the Rich and Boring," Gorpley quips, then
walks back into his office. "You didnít ask Mr. Gorpley to the
party?" Balki asks with surprise. "No, I didnít ask Mr.
Gorpley to the party," Larry answers with no uncertainty. "Well,
why not?" Balki asks, "Heís gonna feel left out."
"He is left out," Larry asserts, "Balki, this is our first
annual Christmas party. I want it to be a time for all our friends to
gather together and share an evening filled with Christmas spirit. If Mr.
Gorpley came heíd ruin everything." "Oh come on, how can you
say that?" Balki asks. "Itís easy," Larry answers,
"Heíd ruin everything. I donít want him at the party!"
that evening at the Chronicle, Balki is busy taking down the Christmas
decorations. Mr. Gorpley is on the phone. As Gorpley speaks to the
person on the other end, Balki enters and hears part of his conversation.
"Great news," Gorpley says into the receiver, "Iím free to
spend Christmas with you. What do you mean, so what? No, I didnít
ask my wife but I have a hunch she doesnít want to spend Christmas with me.
Sheís been remarried for two years. So how Ďbout it? Can I come
over for Christmas? No. No, I understand. No, youíve got
family coming over. Yeah, okay, Iíll try you again next year.
Yeah. Bye, Mom." Gorpley hangs up the phone and looks lost and
sad. He sighs as he starts to tighten the belt on his coat. Balki,
having overheard, steps forward, saying, "Mr. Gorpley?" Mr.
Gorpley is startled, then recovers. "Oh, uh, Bartokomous."
"About tonight," Balki begins,
"Cousin Larry and I aaarrr . . . " Balki chokes on the words,
knowing Larry wonít approve. "Cousin
Larry and I arrr....arrrr . . . . Cousin Larry and I arrrr . . . arrrr . .
. arrrr . . . " "What is the matter, Bartokomous?" Gorpley
asks, "You got tinsel caught in your throat?" "No, I was
wondering, do you have a place to go for Christmas Eve?" Balki asks with
concern. "Wha? Me?" Gorpley asks in an exaggerated manner,
"Sam Ďthe Maní Gorpley? Iíve got invitations running out my
ears! Do I have any place to go for Christmas? What a laugh!"
Gorpley laughs and Balki joins in. "Oh boy . . . oh boy, what a
relief," Balki sighs, "I tell you, funny funny thing."
"What?" Gorpley asks. "Well, for a second over there, uh .
. . well, I was going to ask you if you wanted to come to our party," Balki
begins. "Okay," Gorpley nods. "Okay what?" Balki
asks. "Okay, Iíll come to your party," Mr. Gorpley clarifies.
"You will?" Balki asks, smiling to cover his worry. "Yes!
I will see you tonight," Mr. Gorpley states, "Okay?"
"Okay!" Balki answers as Gorpley walks out, then is happy about it,
saying, "Okay!" He then leans against Larryís desk with worry
saying, "Oh . . . kay . . . . "
the apartment, which is completely decorated for Christmas, Larry is in the
kitchen taking some cheese puffs out of the oven. Larry takes one,
fumbling with it a moment because it is hot, then tries a bite. He chews
it carefully, finally setting it down and taking up his clipboard.
"Perfect!" he says in triumph and marks it down on his list.
Balki enters the apartment and stands with his mouth open, deep in thought.
"Okay!" he announces to no one but himself and sets a box down.
Larry runs up to him with his clipboard. "Balki . . . huh?
Would you look at this? Is this going to be a perfect Christmas party or
what?" Balki takes off his coat and looks around the apartment.
"Wwowww!" Balki reacts. "All right, now the guests will be
coming any minute," Larry explains, leading Balki to the kitchen counter,
"I want you to try the egg nog. Tell me if itís okay."
He pours a little from a punch bowl into a cup and hands it to Balki, who tastes
it. "Mmmmm!" Balki reacts, "Perfect!" "It
is, isnít it?" Larry asks proudly.
a funny, funny thing happened while I was taking down the decorations at
work," Balki begins. Larry suddenly gasps, saying,
"Napkins!" He picks up a stack of cocktail napkins and takes
them to the coffee table where he starts to arrange them. "Uh, I was
. . . it all kind of . . . I was just finishing taking down the decorations for
Mr. Gorpley . . . " "You know, I knew Gorpley was slime but
making you work late on Christmas Eve is a new low, even for him!" Larry
complains. Larry gets up and walks to the fireplace with Balki following
him. He reaches down to feel the heat coming from the burning logs.
"What do you think? What do you think? Should I add another
log?" Larry asks. He motions for Balki to stand with him with their
rears to the fire. "I mean, here . . . I want people to be warm but I
donít want them to sweat," Larry explains. They swivel their hips
in front of the fire, checking the warmth. Finally they look at one
another and agree, "Perfect!" Larry marks it on his clipboard.
it doesnít get any better than this," Larry sighs happily.
"Well, we gotta talk about that," Balki counters. "What
could be better than a party at Christmas with the people you care about?"
Larry asks. Balki holds up a finger and says, "How about this?
How about inviting someone to that party who is less fortunate than you
are?" "Great idea!" Larry says. "Really?"
Balki asks. Larry flips to the second page of his clipboard and says,
"Weíll have to remember to do that next year." "Well,
Cousin, Cousin . . . I took it upon myself to do it this year," Balki
explains. "You did?" Larry asks. "Yeah!" Balki
answers. "Well, you are incredible!" Larry notes.
"Well, you donít know the half of it!" Balki replies. Larry
crosses out what heís written and asks, "Well, so who is it?
Whereíd you find this unfortunate person?" "Well . . . "
Balki hesitates, "To answer the second question first, um . . . I met him
down at the paper."
Balki motions to the Christmas tree and
walks over to it, saying, "Beautiful!" Larry follows Balki,
suspicious now. "Who is it?"
Larry repeats. "You know what?" Balki asks, "This is the
best egg nog I have ever have anywhere!" Balki gets his cup from the
counter and finishes it off, holding it to Larry and asking,
"Seconds?" "Who is it?" Larry repeats more firmly.
Balki laughs nervously, then asks, "Who is whom?" "Who is
coming to our party?" Larry asks. "What party?" Balki asks
excitedly. "The Christmas party," Larry states.
"When?" Balki asks. "The Christmas party we are having here
tonight!" Larry growls. "Oh, that Christmas party!"
Balki exclaims, then asks, "What was the question?" There is a
knock at the door and they both look that direction. "Oh goodness,
that might be Mr. Gorpley now," Balki says worriedly and Larry wheels on
him with a look of disbelief.
two begins at the same moment, with Larry staring at Balki in disbelief and
anger. There is another knock at the door. "You invited Mr.
Gorpley?" Larry asks angrily, "Are you crazy? I specifically
said I did not want him at the party!" Larry backs Balki up against
the Christmas tree and Balki reaches behind to get two small candy canes, which
he holds up to Larry like a cross. "Well, you also said that you
thought the Christmas party would be a time when all your friends would gather
around and share the Christmas spirit," Balki points out. "He is
not my friend!" Larry insists. "Well, he is my friend,"
Balki counters, "And . . . and . . . itís my party, too, and Iím gonna
let him in!" Balki starts for the door but Larry runs and cuts him
off, taking the wreath down from the door and shoving down over Balkiís head
so Balki canít move his arms. "I am not going to let Mr. Gorpley
ruin the best Christmas party of all time!" Larry insists.
"Ha!" Balki exclaims, "Let me . . . . " Larry slaps a
hand over Balkiís mouth and pulls him closer, leaning against the door.
"Ja, who is dere?" Larry asks
though the door in a Norwegian accent. "Itís Harriette and Iím
ready to party!" Harrietteís voice
comes through the door. "Itís Harriette!" Larry realizes, and
he and Balki both say "Oh!" Larry pulls the wreath off Balki and
turns to open the door. "Come on in!" Larry offers as Hariette,
Jimmy and the other gal who was seen earlier at the office enter and they all
exchange Merry Christmases. Balki kisses Harriette and the other woman and
almost kisses Jimmy as well but stops in time. "Everybody just throw
your coats off and put your presents down and go help yourself to some egg nog
and let us know if thereís too much nog," Balki offers as everyone puts
their coats and presents on the couch. There is another knock at the door
and Larry shushes everyone as Balki runs to the door. Larry is right
behind him and throws the wreath over Balkiís head again. "Cousin,
I . . . " Balki begins but Larry slaps his hand over Balkiís mouth again
and holds him as he leans to the door. "Ola!" Larry calls
through the door in a Mexican accent, "Who is it?"
"Ramon?" Lydiaís voice calls, "Is that you?"
"Itís Lydia!" Larry realizes, and he and Balki again say
"Oh!" and Larry pulls the wreath off Balki and opens the door.
"Lydia, come on in!" Larry
offers, grabbing her by the arm and yanking her into the apartment. "Whoo!"
Lydia cries, then feels Larryís muscle, commenting, "Muy macho!"
"Feliz Navidad," Larry laughs in a masculine way. Larry looks
out the door then
shuts it as Balki says, "Lydia, Lydia, itís so good to see you.
Come sit down. Take off your wrap." He removes her coat to
reveal she is wearing a fancy blue and black dress. "My
heavens!" Balki comments, "Sit down." He sits on the couch
with her when there is another knock at the door. Once again Larry shushes
everyone and Balki tries to beat him to the door but Larry throws the wreath
over Balkiís head again and grabs him tightly. "Cousin, would you .
. . ?" Balki begins before Larry slaps his hand over Balkiís mouth again
and leans to the door. "And who might that be?" Larry asks with
an Irish accent. "Oh sorry, we must have the wrong apartment,"
Mary Anneís voice can be heard through the door. "No, no, no,
itís Mary Anne!" Larry realizes. "Oh!" he and Balki
repeat as Larry pulls the wreath off Balki once again and opens the door.
"Oh, and Jennifer, come on in!" Larry offers. The girls enter
with a couple more co-workers.
Once again Larry looks to see if anyone
else is coming then closes the door behind them. At this point Harriette
approaches them, asking, "Balki, what is going on?" "Well,
Cousin Larryís having a nervous break dance," Balki explains, "just
invited someone to the party who is a little less fortunate than we are."
"Oh, real classy, Larry!" Lydia comments snidely. "Well,
thatís very nice, Balki," Harriette offers, "Now whatís this
guyís name?" "Mr. Gorpley," Balki answers.
"Good night, everybody!" Harriette says and there is a mass movement
toward the door of everyone except Mary Anne and Jennifer. "Wait,
wait!" Larry cries, blocking the door, "Now just because heís
invited doesnít mean we have to let him in! When he knocks on the door
weíll all be quiet and heíll think heís got the wrong apartment."
"I canít believe this," Jennifer notes, "No one can be that
bad!" Everyone speaks at once to tell Jennifer just how horrible Mr.
Gorpley is. "Okay, okay!" Balki cries to quiet the din,
"Mr. Gorpley is not popular. I get that. And Iím in an okay
place about it. But let me just say this . . . I invited him to this house
and when he comes here Iím gonna let him in!"
There is a knock at the door. Larry
shushes everyone earnestly. "Bartokomous? Appleton?" Mr.
Gorpleyís voice can be heard through the door. Balki moves to open the
front door and everyone grabs him, lifting him off the ground sideways.
Lydia clamps a hand over his mouth. "I know youíre in there!"
Gorpley calls, "This has happened before, you know!" "This
happened last year at
Lydiaís birthday party," Harriette says. "We tried to out-wait
him. We set in the dark for four hours listening to a man pound on the
door," Lydia adds. "It was five hours and I brought a sleeping
bag this time!" Gorpley calls. Everyone looks shocked.
"All right, I guess weíre gonna have to let him in," Larry sighs.
Everyone sets Balki down and stands around sadly. "Well, now Iím
disheveled," Balki sighs, straightening his vest, "Now look, everyone
. . . youíre gonna see that Iím right. Deep down inside Mr. Gorpley
there is an ember of the Christmas spirit and if we just treat him with some
kindness I think we can fan it into a flame." "Good, Iíll get
the matches," Harriette snips, walking over to the fireplace to lean
against it. Balki walks over to her. "Harriette, you donít
mean that," Balki scolds, "Now look . . . how Ďbout when we open the
door we give him a really beautiful ĎMerry Christmas.í Really good
one!" Balki opens the door and Mr. Gorpley walks in.
"Merry Christmas!" everyone says, some more heartily than others.
"Mmm, how festive," Mr. Gorpley says in an unimpressed voice,
"Looks like Kris Kringle threw up all over your living room."
Gorpley laughs as everyone else looks disgusted.
Later that evening the guests are standing
around talking and visiting. Jennifer walks past Larry with a plate of hot
buns, giving his
arm a pat. Larry walks over to where Mr. Gorpley is sitting alone on the
couch. "Having a good time, Mr. Gorpley?" Larry asks.
"Mmmm, better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick," Gorpley says
sarcastically and laughs. The door to Balkiís bedroom opens and Balki
comes out dressed as Santa Claus. "Ho ho ho!" Balki laughs,
"Merry Christmas! Itís Balki Claus!" Balki sits on the
couch and everyone gathers around. "Itís present time!" Balki
announces, looking into the sack he is carrying, "Present time! You
must have all been good little boys and girls because Balki Claus has presents
for all of you." Balki pulls a present out of the box and says,
"Okay, this one is for Harriette from Lydia." He hands Harriette
the present and encourages her to "Open it! Open it!" as do the
other party guests. "All right, all right. Hang on, hang
on," Harriette says as she opens the box and takes out a pretty scarf.
"Oh, thank you, Lydia," Harriette offers. "Oh, real nice,
Lydia," Mr. Gorpley says, "Theyíre giving them away at the gas
station with every fill up!" Lydia lunges angrily at Mr. Gorpley but
Harriette holds her back.
Balki pulls out another present and says,
"This one is to Lydia from Harriette." He gives her the present,
saying, "Open it! Open
it!" as everyone again encourages her to open it as well. Lydia opens
the box and pulls out a book, saying, "Oh, itís the new Nora Trueblood
Adams mystery! I have been dying to read this!" "I
know," Harriette smiles. "Iíll save you six hundred pages . .
. the countess did it," Gorpley says. "Why donít we see if he
can swallow this sideways?" Harriette snarls, grabbing the book and lunging
at Mr. Gorpley. Lydia, Balki and Larry have to hold her off. "Harriette!
Harriette!" Balki cries, "Sit down, please! Sit down, please!
This is not Geraldo!" Balki reaches in the bag again, saying,
"Now, let me see here . . . this one is to Jennifer from Mary Anne, your
roommate." He hands the box to Jennifer as everyone says "Open
it." "Wait, wait," Balki says, reaching into the bag again
and pulling out a similar box, "Wait . . . this one is to Jennifer from
Larry." He hands her the second box as everyone says to "Open
it!" "Wait, wait, wait," Mary Anne says, "Open mine
Jennifer opens Mary Anneís gift and
pulls out a pink sweater, exactly the same as the one Larry has bought for her.
"Oh, Mary Anne this is lovely but it must have cost you a fortune!"
Jennifer says. "It did!" Mary Anne nods, "$29.95!"
"Wow!" Mr. Gorpley
gasps, enjoying this, "Iíve seen Ďem for a hundred and a quarter!"
He laughs out loud, then says, "Why donít you open up the present from
Appleton? Iím dying to see what that is!" Gorpley continues
to laugh as Jennifer opens up the box from Larry. Larry tries to
discourage her but she opens the box and pulls out the same sweater, looking
embarrassed. "Oh, gee, thanks Larry," she offers awkwardly,
"This is . . . this is . . . really nice. You know, you just canít
have too many of these." "Yeah, good move, Appleton!"
Gorpley laughs, "Boy, I bet you feel like a real jerk!" Gorpley
continues to laugh and Balki gently tries to discourage him, but Larry is fed
up. "All right, thatís it," Larry says, "Youíre outta
here!" Everyone jumps up and grabs Mr. Gorpley as Larry opens the
door and they drag him outside. Balki tries to go after them but is pushed
back and has to run around the couch to chase them to the door. "Now
wait a minute!" Balki cries, "Donít you see whatís
happening?" "Yeah!" Larry calls back, "Weíre taking
out the trash!"
Balki runs out the door and comes back in
carrying Mr. Gorpley over his shoulder and setting him down by the kitchen
counter as everyone runs back in after him. "Come on, give him
back!" Larry insists, "Let us have him!" "Youíve
turned into a Christmas
mob!" Balki says, standing in front of Mr. Gorpley to protect him.
"Well, heís been asking for it all night!" Larry says.
"And weíre gonna give it to him!" Lydia adds as everyone echoes this
sentiment. "Listen to me," Balki insists, "You donít want
to hurt anybody . . . especially on Christmas Eve." "Oh relax,
Bartokomous!" Gorpley interrupts, "These people canít hurt me!
You think by throwing me out of here youíre going to spoil my Christmas?
Hey, Iíve had rotten Christmases before. Like the one three years ago
when my wife said, ĎMerry Christmas! Iím divorcing you!í Or
how Ďbout that one when I was in high school and I finally met my real father.
And he stuck around . . . long enough to have a drumstick and steal all the
money that Iíd saved for college. Or uh, there was always the one when I
was eight and our trailer burned down. No, no, no, wait a minute, wait a
minute, no . . . that was a good Christmas. I got to sleep in a real bed .
. . at the Red Cross. So donít worry about me getting hurt on Christmas
. . . itís not going to happen. But it wouldnít be Christmas if
somebody didnít try. Happy holidays."
Mr. Gorpley starts to leave but Balki
stops him. "No, now . . . thatís okay, thatís enough. Come
and sit over here." Balki leads Mr. Gorpley to the couch and
encourages him to sit down. "Come sit down. We canít let you
go, we havenít finished opening the
presents." "Oh, Iím sure you can handle that without me,"
Mr. Gorpley says, starting to get up. "No, we canít," Balki
assures him, keeping him from leaving, "because . . . because one of the
presents is for you." "Oh, what? Come on, for me?"
Gorpley laughs, "A present? Get real, Bartokomous."
"I have never been realer," Balki assures him, showing Mr. Gorpley a
box and pointing out, "I believe that this is your name on the tag."
"ĎTo Mr. Gorpley: Have a Merry Christmas from your friend, Balki,í"
Gorpley reads. Balki hands Mr. Gorpley the box and says gently, "Open
it! Open it!" Mr. Gorpley is taken aback but opens the box,
pulling out the Davros cup that Balkiís Mama had sent. "Balki, that
was a gift from your Mama," Larry notes. Balki motions to Larry that
itís okay. "Why are you giving this to me?" Gorpley asks,
"I thought it meant a lot to you." "It does mean a lot to
me," Balki answers, "Itís a gift of love and my mother taught me
that a gift of love has to go to the one who needs it the most. And right
now thatís you."
"I donít have a gift for you,"
Gorpley says, handing the cup back to Balki. "Yes, you do,"
Balki says, "If youíll take my gift then
youíre giving me a gift." Gorpley slowly takes the cup and looks
moved and bewildered. "Nothing like this has ever happened to
me," he explains, "I donít know what to say. Nobodyís ever
given me a gift that meant something before. I feel, uh . . . kind of
strange. Sort of, uh . . . warm. Like Iím almost starting to like
you people." "What youíre feeling is the Christmas
spirit," Balki explains. Gorpley looks around at everyone, asking,
"Do you feel this every Christmas?" Everyone nods in answer.
"Except for Balki," Larry adds, "He feels like this every
day." "Merry Christmas, Mr. Gorpley," Harriette offers.
"Merry Christmas, Sam," Lydia adds. Everyone else offers him a
Merry Christmas and Larry sits on the edge of the couch next to him.
"Iím sorry I tried to lock you out, Mr. Gorpley," Larry offers.
"I would have done the same thing in your place," Mr. Gorpley admits,
then says, "Uh, M . . . Merry Christmas, Appleton." "Merry
Christmas," Larry offers in return. Balki begins to sing "Hark
the Herald Angels Sing" and everyone joins in, even Mr. Gorpley, as the
There are some
differences between the shooting script dated December 1, 1988 and the final
the script the artisan who carved the cup is identified as Davros Paxiteles.
However Bronson pronounces it as Praxiteles in the episode itself.
- When showing the
cup, Balki explains "My mama asked Davros to carve this so she could give
it to me when I was born. Davros carves one for the first born in each
family." Harriette notes, "I thought you said you just got
it." "Oh, I did," Balki explains, "Davros is back
ordered about twenty-five years. The big post war baby-boom really threw
off his schedule."
- In this script
version, Gorpley makes the comment that he's all choked up but Balki does not
try to give him the "ham hock" maneuver.
- After Larry explains
he went shopping on Christmas Eve he says, "It's a madhouse out there.
A zoo. People are like animals. I had to push three old ladies out
of the way to get this."
- Gorpley says he'll
have to watch for that on "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous" instead
of "Lifestyles of the Rich and Boring."
- When Larry says
Gorpley will ruin everything if invited to the party, Balki responds, "You
really think so?" "I know so, Balki," Larry answers,
"I don't want him at the party. The man is mean, irritable and hates
Christmas." "Oh, come on, Cousin," Balki counters, "No
one hates Christmas." Gorpley enters from his office and looks at his
watch. "Okay, it's five o'clock. That means I don't have to put
up with this Christmas garbage for another second. Bartokomous, take down
these stupid decorations and do it before you go home." "Wait a
minute, Mr. Gorpley," Larry says, "You're going to make Balki work
late on Christmas Eve?" "Oh, where is my Yuletide spirit?"
Gorpley asks, "Bartokomous, you don't have to do that tonight."
"Thank you, Mr. Gorpley," Balki offers. "Come in and do it
tomorrow, on Christmas day," Gorpley says, then to Larry adds, "Happy,
saying "Okay" to inviting Mr. Gorpley to the party Balki finishes by
saying, "Oh boy."
Larry prepares for the party, he first goes to the egg nog and checks his watch.
"Six-fifty, time for the nutmeg." He adds nutmeg to the egg nog.
He then sniffs and smells the cheese puffs, which he checks as in the aired
episode. He then stops at the window and comments, "The only way it
could be better is if it would snow." It starts to snow and Larry
cries happily, "Yes!"
Larry asks Balki what he thinks of the decorated apartment, Balki says,
"Wow. Cousin, Andy Williams could do his Christmas special from
Larry complains that Mr. Gorpley made Balki work late on Christmas Eve, Balki
says, "Well, I think he's just misunderstood." "Yeah,
misunderstood by most of the free world," Larry says, "I'm not sure
what I'm happier about: This party or not having to listen to Gorpley trash
Christmas." "Go with the party," Balki suggests.
commercial break is not written as being when Balki reveals Mr. Gorpley has been
invited to the party but rather right after Mr. Gorpley arrives.
Mexican accent is described as "a la Jorge Vasquez," which was his
pseudonym Larry used when he made an airline reservation to get out of town back
in the second season episode Can I Get a Witness?
tells Harriette that Larry is having "nervous shake down."
Larry suggests they don't let Gorpley into the apartment when he arrives, Balki
says, "Cousin, I can't let you do that." "Balki, this is
America," Larry says, "The majority rules. How many want to keep
Gorpley out?" Everyone raises their hands, except Mary Anne and
Jennifer. "I don't think I should vote," Mary Anne says, "I
don't know what a Gorpley is." This is when Jennifer says she can't
believe anyone could be that bad.
line when he enters is "How festive. Looks like Kris Kringle threw up
scene after Gorpley arrives starts with Jimmy and Larry at the door.
"Sorry, Larry," Jimmy says, "I've got to get out of here before I
kill him." "Leaving so soon, Jimmy?" Gorpley asks,
"What? Are you late for your shock treatment?" Jimmy asks
Larry to "Excuse me," before lunging at Gorpley. Larry has to
restrain him. "Easy, Jimmy. Easy. He's not worth going to
prison for." Jimmy composes himself, then says, "He's the reason
they should outlaw handguns. Come on, Allyson." He and Allyson
enters the room with a tray of hot buns. Gorpley calls, "Hey, hot
buns. Over here." Jennifer does a slow burn and brings the tray
over to Gorpley. "Are you talking to me?" Jennifer asks in an
offended manner. "Yeah," Gorpley answers, "Listen, if I
told you you had a great body, would you hold it against me?" Larry
arrives and says, "Oh, what do we have here?" Larry takes a bun
from the tray and Jennifer walks away. Larry leans into Gorpley and says
in a low tone, "Lay a hand on her and I'll pull your heart out through your
throat." "Hey, I'm just trying to lighten things up,"
Gorpley says, "Your party is dying here." This is when Balki
comes out dressed as Balki Claus.
Balki starts handing out the presents he first picks one and says, "This is
for you, Cory. From Janet." Cory opens the present and holds up
a fish tie. "A fish tie," Gorpley says, "Janet must think
you're a real geek." Janet goes for Gorpley but is restrained by the
person next to her.
Gorpley's speech about his past Christmases, he says, "If these people
think they can hurt me, they're dreaming. Christmas may mean happiness and
good cheer to you but it doesn't to me. If it did, this would be one of my
better ones. Certainly better than the one two years ago, when I opened a
present from my wife and found our divorce papers." The rest of the
speech is pretty much the same as what aired.
Balki tells Gorpley he has a present, Gorpley tells Balki to "get
real" and Balki replies, "I am getting real." After reading
the tag on his present, Gorpley seems confused, and Balki says, "If you're
not familiar with the tradition, now is the time you open it." When
Balki explains why he gave Gorpley the cup, he says, "Because it's a gift
of love. And Mama taught me that a gift of love has to go to the one who
needs it most. And I believe you qualify."
Larry sits down next to Gorpley he says, "I'm sorry I tried to lock you
out." And then he adds, "And I'm sorry I tried to throw you
is a final scene after everyone is singing in which the camera is outside the
building, looking in. Balki is looking out at the snow and Larry comes up
to him and says, "You did good, Balki." "Thanks,
Cousin," Balki offers, "Merry Christmas." "Merry
Christmas," Larry replies. This may or may not have been filmed but
the set up of the camera outside the window was used for a shot of Balki and
Larry watching the snow that was seen after the end credits.
10 second ABC Christmas promo script was also included in the shooting script of
on to the next episode . . .