Strangers Episode Guide
64 - Come Fly With Me
First Air Date:
February 10, 1989
Nielsen Rating: 14.7 HH
TV Guide Description: Balki's
spirits soar as he boards his first flight, but stewardesses Jennifer and Mary
Anne can't wait to get back on terra firma after sampling Balki's Myposian
lameetkas. (Editor's note: we have no idea where they got that name for
the Honey Roasted Chalkidikis.)
Created by: Dale McRaven
Written by: Robert Griffard & Howard Adler
Directed by: Joel Zwick
Bronson Pinchot: Balki Bartokomous
Mark Linn-Baker: Larry Appleton
Melanie Wilson: Jennifer Lyons
Rebeca Arthur: Mary Anne
Robert Pierce: The Groom
Mary Ellen Dunbar: The Bride
John Di Santi: The Irate Passenger
J.P. Bumstead: The Vegetarian
Gerald Castillo: The Ex-Smoker
Rowena Balos: The Woman
Nancy McNamara (aka Nan McNamara): The Red-Headed Woman
Dimitri is not seen in this episode.
"I canít believe Iím actually going to fly on an aeroplane and spend a
whole week in the Great Pumpkin."
"Well, without you the Big Apple will be rotten to the core."
"Isnít that where the Japanese bombed Pearl Bailey?"
" . . . if you check these bags then theyíll put them in the stomach of
the plane for you."
"Well, Cousin, as you know I prefer suspenders to a belt buckle any time .
. . "
"Yes, whenever we find quality, we try to control it."
"Listen, who gets the veterinarianís supper?"
"Itís in the Mr. Microphone oven."
"Why are you acting like a lunch mob?"
"Well, I got a hot flash for you . . . "
ridiculous: Said once in this episode.
used in this episode:
"Balki, Balki, Balki . . . "
"Itís common knowledge."
Other running jokes
used in this episode:
Larry has a clipboard to organize things
Larry chooses to ignore a mistake of Balkiís instead of bothering to try to
Larry makes a wacky excuse for Balkiís odd behavior
"King of the Road" - sung by Balki as he listens to the music on the
- The title of this episode was borrowed from the 1958 Frank Sinatra hit
song and album, Come Fly With Me.
titles of Perfect Strangers episodes were also used for Full House episodes,
such as Come Fly With Me, Blast From the Past, Bye, Bye Birdie, The Wedding,
The King and I, Up on the Roof (using Ďaí instead of Ďthe) and The
Playís the Thing. The same is true of Family Matters, which
shared the titles Car Wars, To Be or Not to Be, Wedding Bell Blues (without
the e on Bell) and Karate Kids,
- Balkiís line "Iím so excited and I just
canít hide it. Iím about to lose control and I think I like it"
is from the 1982 Pointer Sisters song Iím So Excited.
- Balki pronounces Hawaii by enunciating both Iís.
This is actually how the name is supposed to be pronounced (although ideally the
Ďwí should also be pronounced as a Ďví.)
- Balkiís line "Come on down!" is
borrowed from The Price is Right and is what the announcer calls after
naming the next contestant from the studio audience.
- If Balki and Larry were taking the same flight
today there would be some major differences. Larry would not be able to
carry on so many bags. And itís doubtful the airlines would let Balki
take a big stick on board, either! All domestic flights are now
non-smoking, so the groom couldnít impress his bride by demanding the
non-smoking section. Larry would have a long wait before being served any
honey roasted peanuts, which have been dropped by most airlines because of
allergy concerns. And while it doesnít come up in this episode, Larry
wouldnít be able to carry on any substantial amount of liquid antacid.
Balkiís Aunt Uvula has the same name as the piece of soft tissue
dangling down from the soft palette over the back of the tongue. Of course
in Myposian there is probably another word for the uvula and hence his auntís
name would not mean that to them.
- If character actor Robert Pierce looks familiar,
chances are you were a fan of Happy Days or its spin-off show, Joanie
Loves Chachi, where he played the band mate named Bingo, which makes sense
since the series was an earlier Miller Boyett production. You can visit
Robert's official website here.
- This is the only episode where we get to see
Jennifer and Mary Anne in their work environment.
Character actor John Di Santi, who played the irate customer in this
episode, also appeared as a cabbie in the Mark Linn-Baker made-for-TV movie Going
to the Chapel. In 1993 he had a recurring role in the series Home Front.
- The person sitting in front of Larry on the plane
is reading a copy of the Chicago Chronicle.
- Roger Millerís song, King of the Road,
was a major hit for the country singer back in 1965.
- The flair bartending moments were undoubtedly
inspired by the popularity of the 1988 film Cocktail, in which Tom Cruise
and Bryan Brown brought the talent to the general publicís attention.
- The pilotís name is Captain Hogan. This
is an in-joke referring to the earlier Miller / Boyett series, Valerie
(which became The Hogan Family), in which the husband / father was an
international airline pilot.
- Ernest Goes to Camp was one of several movies starring Jim Varney as
Ernest P. Worrell, a goofball character he created for countless television
commercials in the 1980's. His famous catchphrase, "Know what I mean,
Vern?" was part of these commercials in which his character would endlessly
harass his hapless (and never seen) neighbor, Vern, to tout whatever product
needed selling. Sadly Jim Varney passed away in 2000.
- When Balki exits his bedroom the hobo bag he is carrying accidentally
hits a picture hanging on the wall just inside his room. The picture
continues to swing behind him as Balki quotes The Pointer Sisters.
- Balki says this is the first time he will have
ever been on a plane. But Balki and Larry flew to Las Vegas back in the second
season episode Babes in Babylon (where Larry said he sold his plane
ticket to get more money for gambling).
- At some point Balki and Larry switch seats and
Larry sits in the aisle instead. Itís never explained why they changed
places. In fact, the script variations below makes their seating
arrangement even more confusing!
- Larry mentions seat 26 B but Larry and Balki are
in row 22 and there are only two rows behind them. The galley appears to
be at the back of the plane. So where would row 26 be, exactly?
- The establishing shot of the Honolulu Airport
shows the plane sitting at the gate. The plane was actually superimposed
onto the footage of the airport, and you can see the which part is the matte
painting when the image moves around slightly. This was very common for
these kind of shots that the superimposed elements have a slight movement to
them, making them somewhat obvious.
The episode begins in the cousinsí apartment during the day. Larry is in
the living room packing clothes into a suitcase. There
are several other bags already packed and on the coffee table and chair.
Balki comes out of his bedroom carrying a bundle on a stick similar to a
hoboís pouch. "Cousin, Iím so excited and I just canít hide
it!" Balki begins, walking to Larry, "Iím about to lose control . .
. and I think I like it. I canít believe Iím finally going to fly on
an aeroplane and spend a whole week in the Great Pumpkin." "No,
Balki, not the Great Pumpkin," Larry corrects, "New York City is the
Big Apple." Balki nods and sets his hobo bag aside. "Is that all
youíre taking?" Larry asks. "Well, of course not, donít be
ridiculous," Balki says, "Iím wearing an extra set of jockey
shorts." Balki fidgets uncomfortably.
There is a knock at the door. Balki
goes to open the door as Larry closes the suitcase and moves to pick up a
Anne and Jennifer enter as Balki says, "Hi, girls!" and the girls
greet him. "Hi!" Larry says as Jennifer approaches, "Are
you two ready for New York City?" "Larry," Jennifer begins,
"About that . . . Iím afraid we have some bad news."
"Weíve finally been assigned to work the Hawaii flight, the one weíve
been bidding on for so long?" Mary Anne explains, "Itís the best
route on the schedule, more money and something most flight attendants only
dream about." "Well, that doesnít sound like bad news to
me," Larry smiles. "It doesnít, does it?" Mary Anne
realizes, "What was the bad news, Jennifer?" Jennifer
eyes Mary Anne in disbelief a moment, then turns to Larry. "The bad
news is that we have to start our new flight tomorrow so we canít go to New
York with you guys," Jennifer explains, "Iím really sorry,
Larry." "Oh," Larry sighs in disappointment, "Oh . . .
well, uh . . . thatís all right. I understand about careers."
"Well, without you the Big Apple will be rotten to the core," Balki
tells Mary Anne.
"Gee, too bad you guys are so set on
New York," Mary Anne says, "If you werenít you could go to Hawaii
with us." "Hawaii? Well, that sounds great!" Larry
says enthusiastically, then worries, "But I donít know if we can afford
it." "No, sure you can!" Jennifer
assures him, "If you fly standby itíll be just a little bit more than
youíd spend on your trip to New York!" "Cousin! Hawaiíi!"
Balki says with excitement, "It will be fun and educational. Isnít
that where the Japanese bombed Pearl Bailey?" "Yes, it is,"
Larry answers with a smile. After a moment Larry announces, "Well,
letís go to Hawaii!" Mary Anne and Balki hug as Jennifer hugs
Larry. "This is great!" Jennifer exclaims, and she and Mary Anne
head for the door, "Well, we better go get packed. Weíll see you in
the morning." Balki follows them to the door, waving his arms in
excitement, as Larry says, "Weíll be ready!" After Balki
closes the door Larry cries, "Weíll never be ready! It took me six
weeks to pack for New York City. Now Iíve got twelve hours to pack for
Hawaii. I need sunscreen, sunglasses, casual wear, something formal yet
not fussy in case we go out to dinner . . . " During this worrying,
Balki has approached Larry. "Cousin, all you need for Hawaiíi is a
swimsuit, a towel and a pair of those sandals with, uh . . . that thing that
goes in between your toes." "Thongs," Larry explains.
"Youíre welcome," Balki smiles, "See you in the morning."
Balki dances to his room as Larry stands, confused.
next morning at the airport, we see the interior of a passenger plane.
Balki peeks through the curtains separating first class from coach, carrying his
hobo sack on a stick. "Hello!" he says to everyone in general,
then enters, moving down the aisle and greeting people as he goes.
"Hello!" He motions to one man and says, "Hi!" then looks
across to the other side and says "Hello." He stops at the next
row and reaches down to take a womanís hand, shaking it as he says,
"Hello, Iím Balki Bartokomous." He moves to the opposite side
and pats a red-headed womanís shoulder and repeats, "Balki Bartokomous.
Iím in 22D. Feel free to drop by any time." He continues down
the aisle past the next row of seats, saying "Hello!" to everyone.
To one man he says, "How are you? Balki Bartokomous . . .
sheepherder." Balki reaches row 22 and looks at the number above the
seats. A man finishes placing his bag in the full storage bin above their
row and moves away as Balki calls, "Cousin! Cousin! 22 D &
E! Come on down!"
bursts through the curtains into the cabin, struggling to carry four bags.
He pauses at the curtain and calls back, "Sorry!" As he makes
his way down the aisle he manages to hit just about every person in an aisle
seat with one of the bags, saying, "Excuse me. Oh, I am terribly
sorry. Sorry. Iím sorry. Iíll be by in a sec. Iím
sorry. Oh, I am so sorry. Let me just get by and Iíll be
fine." He finally reaches their row and hits the man sitting in the
aisle across from them with a bag. "Iím sorry. Sorry,"
Larry offers, turning around and hitting the same man with another bag.
The man pushes Larry roughly into his seat. Larry eyes the man and finally
says, sarcastically, "Thank you." Larry gets up and starts to
sort out his bags to put in the overhead bin. "Cousin, uh . . . you
know if you check these bags then theyíll put them in the stomach of the plane
for you." "Balki, Balki, Balki," Larry sighs, "I make
it a point to carry on all my luggage and put it in the overhead
Larry reaches up to open the compartment
above their row as Balki tries to warn him. "Well, just . . . just .
. . just let me . . . " Larry
opens the compartment and all the bags fall out on him, landing on the floor.
"I was just gonna say that this particular compartment was full,"
Balki finishes. "So it was," Larry notes. "Cousin,
let me take care of that," Balki offers, climbing out of the row to pick up
the fallen bags, "You do your bags." Balki leans down to pick up
one of the bags and when he straightens Larry manages to hit him on the side of
the head with one of his. "Oh . . . Iím so sorry," Larry
offers. "Oh, thatís okay, thatís okay," Balki assures him.
"Okay," Larry sighs, and lifts another of his bags which hits Balki on
the forehead. "Iím sorry," Larry says. "Itís
okay! Itís okay," Balki says again, a little less patiently this
time. Larry tries to find a way to carry all the bags again and Balki
hands him his last bag. "Thank you," Larry smiles.
"Sure," Balki says. As Larry turns to walk down the aisle he
swings the bag up and hits Balki on the chin. Larry walks toward the back
to find a place to put his bags.
We see a man and a woman, who are sitting
in the row behind Balki and Larry row. "You know, I love the
way you demanded the
no smoking section at he ticket counter," the bride smiles, "I never
knew you could be so forceful!" The man laughs and says, "Well,
thereís a lot about me you donít know, honey. But, youíll have the
rest of our lives to find out." They move to kiss one another when
Balki, who has been watching from his row, leans over the seat and says,
"Let me guess! Honeymooners?" "Yes, we are," the
man confirms with a smile. "So tell me," Balki asks the man,
"was it a prearranged marriage? Or did you have to pay for her with
livestock? Gee, she looks like she could command at least two sheep and a
goat." The bride and groom are at a loss for what to say.
"You know," Balki continues, "My aunt Uvula used to say, ĎJust
give me an ox. I donít care about the dowry, I donít care about those
little towels that you get when you . . . " By this time Larry has
returned and pulls Balki off the back of the seat. "Excuse him,"
Larry says to the couple, "Heís on anti-seizure medication."
Larry pushes Balki down into his aisle
seat and sits down beside him in the middle seat. "Balki, these
people donít want to be
disturbed," Larry explains, "Now, buckle up." "Well,
Cousin, as you know I prefer suspenders to a belt buckle any time," Balki
points out, "both for aesthetic and practical considerations."
Balki starts to talk to the man across the aisle from him, "As I once . . .
" "No, the seat belt," Larry sighs, then says, "Here .
. . here," as he reaches over and grabs Balkiís seat belt and pulls it
around Balki to buckle him in. "Comfy?" Larry asks.
"Yeah," Balki smiles. "Tight enough?" Larry asks,
pulling the strap to tighten it as Balki squeaks, "Oh, yes!" Larry
settles down in his own seat and we can see the man in front of Balki put a
pillow behind his head and settle back to try to rest. Balki reaches under
his seat for something and as he does so he accidentally hits the knob that
releases the tray table. It falls down in front of him, much to Balkiís
surprise. "Balki, put the tray table up," Larry says.
"Well, I . . . I . . . I . . . " Balki stammers, still confused.
"Put the tray table up now," Larry insists.
Balki pushes the tray up and Larry starts
to read a magazine, but Balki doesnít understand about turning the knob to
keep it up,
so when he lets go it falls back down. Balki pushes it up again, hard, but
it falls down as soon as he lets go. Balki gets frustrated, trying to push
the tray table up repeatedly, but it wonít stay. The man in the seat in
front of him is getting jostled as Balki tries with more and more fervor to get
the tray table to stay closed. Larry just watches this in exasperation as
Balki starts shoving the tray into the seat, finally even giving it a kick as
well. Larry reaches over and grabs the tray and scolds, "Stop
it!" Balki clasps a hand over his mouth as Larry moves to turn the
knob and the man in front of them looks over the back of his seat at then,
seeing Larry as the one with his hand on the tray. Larry realizes the man
thinks heís the one whoís been pushing on the back of the seat.
"Youíre not ever gonna do that again? Are you?" the man
snarls at Larry. "Cousin, I have to just say here he has a
point," Balki says, "Itís very disruptive to the travel
experience." The man sits back down in his seat and Balki smiles like
a naughty child as Larry fastens the tray into its upright position.
Steaming, Larry grabs a set of headphones
from the pouch in front of Balki and starts to fumble with them, plugging them
into Balkiís armrest as Balki looks around at his surroundings with curiosity.
Finally Larry finishes readying the headphones and holds
them up to Balki, saying, "Come here!" in a threatening manner.
Balki eyes the headphones and panics, crying, "Cousin! No! I
promise Iíll never touch it again!" Balki tries to move away as
Larry struggles with him to put the headphones in his ears, but Balki is trapped
by the seat belt and canít wiggle away, gasping and crying with fear until
Larry finally gets them in place. Balki stops, listens, and then smiles
and says, "Ooh!" Balki settles into his seat and listens happily
as Larry tries again to read his magazine. Balki starts snapping his
fingers and moving his head in time to the music, finally breaking out singing,
"Trailers for sale or rent . . . rooms to let, fifty cents . . . "
"Balki," Larry tries to interrupt. " . . . no phone, no
pool, no pets . . . I ainít got no cigarettes . . . " He becomes
louder with each line until everyone in the plane is looking at him. Balki
continues to sing, "Ah but, two hours of pushiní . . . " when Larry
pulls the plug of the headphones out of the arm jack and yells, "Balki!"
into the end, causing Balki to jump in fright. Larry pulls the headphones
out of Balkiís ears and Balki cries, "Why you did that for?"
"Iím sorry, Iím sorry," Larry offers, "I forgot to tell you,
this is a . . . no singing section."
Jennifer and Mary Anne appear from the
back and approach their aisle. "Hi, guys," Jennifer says.
"Jennifer, Mary Anne!" Balki says as Larry stands up. Balki
tries to stand up but is stopped by his seat belt. Larry reaches down and
unbuckles it for him so
he can stand up. "We just wanted to say hello because we wonít have
a chance to talk during the flight," Jennifer explains. "Well,
then Iíll have to give you these now," Balki says, reaching under the
seat in front of him to pull out a canister which he opens, "I baked us a
little treat for our trip." "Those look good," Jennifer
notes. "What are they?" Mary Anne asks, taking one.
"These are honey roasted chalkidikis," Balki explains. Jennifer
takes one as well and asks, "What?" "Honey roasted
chalkidikis," Balki repeats, "the traditional travel food of Mypos."
Balki offers them to Larry, saying, "Cousin." "Uh no,
Iíll wait for the honey roasted peanuts," Larry says, "the
traditional travel food of America." "Balki, these are
delicious," Jennifer says. "Oh thank you very much," Balki
replies, "Theyíre not only tasty and nutritious but they have a shelf
life of over one hundred and twenty years." "Captain
Hogan," a voice comes over the loudspeaker, "Will the flight
attendants please prepare for departure?" "Put your seat belt
on," Mary Anne tells Balki and the girls return to the back, reminding
passengers to buckle in as well.
We see the airplane coming down the runway
as it takes off. Balki cries out excitedly, "Cousin, weíre fly-ing!"
As the plane
reaches cruising altitude, we return to the cabin. Jennifer walks into the
cabin from the back, looking sick. She approaches Larry and Balki and
says, "Larry, I feel terrible and so does Mary Anne."
"Well, maybe itís something you ate," Larry guesses, "Whatdja
have for breakfast this morning?" "Well, uh, just a little
coffee, dry toast and that chalkidiki Balki gave us." Larry looks at
Balki, who says, "Jennifer, think very carefully . . . what kind of toast
was it?" "Balki, it wasnít the toast," Larry argues,
"Whatís in those chalkidikis?" "Cousin, nothing
special," Balki assures him, "just uh . . . you know, flour, eggs
honey, yeast . . . um . . . goat spleen . . . aged at room temperature until it
has that little green fur on it. Salt and pepper to taste . . . "
Jennifer says, "Excuse me," and hurries away, looking even sicker than
before. "Little green fur?" Larry asks in disbelief.
"Cousin, I know what youíre thinking," Balki says, "Youíre
thinking I should have waited until the goat spleen fur turned blue, but
thatís only what they do on the south side of Mypos. Itís a regional
"No," Larry interrupts,
"No, thatís not what Iím talking about. Those chalkidikis made
her sick." "I find that hard to believe!" Balki cries,
"Iíve been eating them since I was five years old and they never made me
sick . . . unless I have them with milk. But you
donít combine spleen with dairy products, itís common knowledge."
"What happens if you do?" Larry asks. "You wish you were
dead," Balki answers. Larry unbuckles and they get up and head to the
back of the plane. As they walk down the aisle they pass the last row
where Mary Anne is laying across the seats covered with a blanket. Larry
and Balki kneel next to her and Balki takes her hand. "Mary Anne, how
do you feel?" Larry asks. "I wish I were dead," she moans.
"Not a good sign, Cousin," Balki notes. "Did you have any
dairy products this morning?" Larry asks. "Just the cream in my
coffee," Mary Anne answers. "That would do it," Balki says.
They leave Mary Anne and walk into the galley in the back where Jennifer is
preparing the drinks cart. "Jennifer?" Larry says, "Maybe
you should get some help from the flight attendants in first class."
"No, Larry, theyíll think we canít handle the job and weíll lose the
route," Jennifer answers, "Now donít worry . . . I had a glass of
milk and I think thatíll make me feel better." "Think
again," Balki states. Jennifer suddenly gasps and turns to run into
uh, remind me to put a warning label on any future chalkidikis," Balki
sighs. "Balki, are they gonna be all right?" Larry asks
worriedly. "Yeah, Cousin, theyíre gonna be fine in just a few hours
but until then it wonít be pretty." "Hey, what díya have to
do to get a drink on this flight?" one of the passengers calls out.
"Oh, I guess I better explain to the other passengers," Balki says,
"Iím sure theyíll understand." Larry reaches out to stop
him. "Uh, no no no. You canít do that. Those people
donít want to understand. All they want is service."
"Well, Cousin, how are they going to get service with Jennifer and Mary
Anne so sick?" Balki asks. Larry look over and spots a couple of
aprons hanging on the wall, one blue and one green, which he takes down.
"Weíll do it ourselves," he says. "What?" Balki
asks. "Come on," Larry encourages, "All we have to do is
pass out a few magazines, pour some coffee, heat up a few TV dinners.
"Cousin, I want the blue one,"
Balki says about the apron, even though Larry already almost has it completely
on. "No, it doesnít make any difference," Larry argues.
"No, I really want the blue one," Balki insists. Larry continues to
refuse until Balki says, "I need
the blue one." Larry gives up and pulls it off, leaning over to put
it over Balkiís neck but Balki pushes his apron at Larry and gets his over
Larryís neck, only Balkiís arms have gone through the neck of the blue apron
and it leaves Balki with his arms sticking through the straps awkwardly.
Larry quickly fastens the green apron and says, "Okay. Head Ďem up
. . . move Ďem out." Larry pushes on the beverage cart but it
wonít budge. He keeps trying to push it, putting all his weight on it.
"Maybe this little thing down here is the brake," Balki notes as he
reaches down and switches off the brake. The cart flies forward and Larry
falls flat on his face in the aisle as the cart careens down the center of the
cabin at top speed, making a loud crashing sound at the other end. Balki
stands between Larryís legs, looking down the aisle. "Yup.
That was it," Balki notes and the scene fades to black.
Act two begins with Larry and Balki
serving drinks from the cart. They reach the irate passenger who sits in
front of Balki and stop. "Sir, may I interest you in a refreshing
beverage?" Balki asks. "White Russian," the man answers.
"Oh my goodness, no no
no . . . uh, many people make that mistake," Balki says, "Iím
actually an olive-skinned Myposian . . . " "Balki . . . itís a
drink," Larry explains. "Oh! That White
Russian," Balki realizes, "Coming up!" Balki and Larry
start fixing the drink in the style of flair bartenders. Larry flips the
plastic cup into the air and calls, "Ice!" Balki tosses an ice
cube to Larry who catches it in the cup. "Nice!" Balki comments.
"Ice!" Larry prompts again and Balki throws a second cube which Larry
catches in the cup. "Nice twice!" Balki notes.
"Vodka!" Larry calls. "A lotka!" Balki answers as he
tosses the tiny bottle to Larry. Larry tosses it behind his back and
catches it, unscrewing the top and emptying it into the glass. "Kahlua!"
Larry calls, tossing the empty vodka bottle to Balki. "For
you-a!" Balki answers, tossing the tiny Kahlua bottle to Larry. Larry
tosses that behind his back as well, then opens and empties it.
"Cream!" Larry calls, tossing the empty Kahlua bottle to Balki.
"A dream!" Balki answers, tossing the cream carton to Larry.
Larry pours the bit of cream in and holds the glass out to Balki, saying,
"Swizzle?" "A bizzle!" Balki answers, placing a
swizzle stick into the cup. Larry hands the drink to the man and everyone
applauds the performance.
"I thought you guys were just
passengers," the man comments. "Oh no no no," Larry says,
"Uh, we work for the airline. Weíre, uh . . . quality control
experts." "Yes, whenever we find quality, we try to control
it," Balki adds. "Donít go away, anybody," Larry
announces, "You donít want to miss the dinner show." Larry and
Balki hold up their arms in a showbiz way and each try to pull
the cart a separate way until Balki follows Larry lead and they roll it to the
galley as the passengers applaud again. Once in the back Larry sets the
cart aside but Balki continues to strike the pose, until Larry says, "Balki!
Balki, this is great! For the first time Iím helping Jennifer out of a
jam I didnít get her into. Come on, letís get the dinners ready."
Larry moves to get two trays of dinners out of their storage container when the
Captainís voice comes over the loudspeaker. "Ladies and gentlemen,
this is Captain Hogan again. Please fasten your seat belts. It
appears weíll be experiencing a little turbulence." Balki also
takes two trays out of the container and turns to Larry, who is behind him in
the cramped space. "Cousin? What . . . what is
turbulence?" Balki asks. The plane suddenly bounces and Balki falls
into Larry, smearing the dinner he is holding all over Larryís face.
In the next scene the transition shot
shows the plane bouncing terribly. Larry is trying desperately to serve
coffee from a pot while the plane rocks back and forth. He stops at a row
where a woman asks, "Is that regular?" "Yes, it is,"
Larry answers and
pours some into her cup, almost spilling it. Larry turns around and the
red-headed woman on the other side of the aisle asks, "Is that decaf?"
Larry thinks a moment then answers, "Yes, it is." He pours a
little into her cup and then asks, "Cream or sugar?" "Yes,
please," she answers. The plane jerks suddenly and the little tray
with the cream and sugar packets on it tips over, dumping them on the woman and
floor. "Oh, well the uh . . . the cream is by your left foot and the
sugar is . . . " Larry looks for it, then gives up, saying,
"Sugar is bad for you." As Larry heads for the back the woman
who asked for regular coffee says, "Hey, you, my baked potatoís
cold." "Well, here, let me heat that up for you," Larry
offers, holding the tray out so she can place the potato onto it. He
starts for the back again. The irate man says, "You get these dirty
trays?" "Dirty trays? We havenít even eaten yet!"
the groom complains another passenger in the back yell, "Yeah! When
are we gonna eat?" "Well, Iíll get your dinners out as fast as
I can," Larry promises, forcing a smile.
Larry manages to reach the back where
Balki is standing with his back to him. Balki turns around, showing he is
eating a dessert
with whipped cream, some of the cream on his face. "Balki, help
me!" Larry says. Balki sets the dessert down and runs to the food
trays storage container where he opens the door. Larry is standing behind
him in the cramped space, and every time Balki tries to pull out a tray from the
container Larry falls into him and the tray gets pushed back in. "Balki,
rows twenty-two through twenty-four still need their dinners, and weíve got to
pick up the trays from rows nineteen through twenty-one, 23 A wants a club soda
with a twist and 86 the Seven & Seven on the 26 B." "Ten
four, Cousin," Balki replies, finally pulling a tray from the container,
"Listen, who gets the veterinarianís supper?" "19
C," Larry answers. "Okay," Balki answers, sniffing at the
dinner. The microwave beeps and Larry takes out the baked potato he put in
a moment ago. "Oh, potatoís ready," Larry says, reaching in to
take it out. He screams as it burns his fingers, and Balki sets the tray
down as Larry throws the potato to him. Balki cries in pain and tosses it
back to Larry. Larry juggles it before throwing it back to Balki.
Balki tosses it to the ex-smoker in the second to last row (there is nothing in
the final script to indicate why he is called this), who then tosses it to the
bride, who throws it to the irate man, all screaming in pain as it goes along.
The man hands it to the woman who wanted it reheated, who says, "Thank
Larry says, "Balki, you pick up the
dirty trays. Iíll fix the rest of the dinners."
"Okay," Balki says and he hurries down the aisle as
the passengers in the back of the cabin complain, asking whatís taking so
long. Balki starts to get the dirty trays when a man in the front row
stands up and asks, "Whereís my vegetarian meal?" "Oh
sir, I know just where it is," Balki explains, "Itís in the Mr.
Microphone oven. Iíll go get it." Larry and Balki pass each
other in the aisle as Larry delivers a tray of food to the irate man.
"Hey hey hey! Wait a minute now!" yells the ex-smoker,
"Theyíve already eaten! That should be our food!" Larry
tries to take the tray back but the irate man grabs it and says, "Well,
itís mine now, buddy!" "All right," Larry sighs, giving
the other tray to the man sitting opposite their seats, "Here you go."
Balki passes Larry again as Larry heads for the back and Balki runs to the front
row with a dinner. "Here you go, sir," Balki says, setting the
dinner in front of the man, "One veterinarian supper." The man
looks at the dish which has a steak stuck in the middle. "But this is
steak. Iím a vegetarian," the man complains. "Well, I
added that," Balki explains, "Our veterans deserve the best."
Balki and Larry pass each other again as
Larry delivers trays of food to the newlywed couple. Exhausted, Larry
collapses in the
now empty row ahead of the couple. "You promised to get me a brownie,
dear!" the bride complains. "Well, I think theyíre out of
them, dear," the groom snaps. "I want a brownie!" the bride
complains. Larry leans over the seat and says nicely, "Well, I think
I can get you an extra brownie." "Thank you," she smiles.
"Why does the broad get an extra brownie?" the irate man asks.
"Broad?" the groom exclaims as he stands up, "Hey, you canít
call my bride a broad, buddy!" The irate man approaches him saying,
"You wanna step outside, pal?" "Yeah, Iíd like to!"
the groom retorts. "Well, come on!" the irate man shouts,
lunging for the groom. Larry holds them apart, crying, "Wait a
minute! Wait a minute! Look, I know weíre all a little irritable
because we havenít eaten . . . " "Yeah, and itís all your
fault!" the red-haired woman complains from the front. "Yeah,
when are we gonna eat?" the man in the back asks. "Letís take
over the kitchen!" the vegetarian man suggests. "Yeah!"
everyone says, some passengers getting to their feet and surrounding Larry in
the aisle. Balki comes out of the back, again eating the dessert, and
asks, "Cousin, need some help?"
"Hey, why are you on a coffee break
when Iím starving?" the man in the back asks, getting to his feet as
well. "Yeah, letís go get
our own food!" the groom suggests. Larry pushes past the mob to block
the galley entrance, yelling, "All right, all right, hold it right
there!" He holds up a video cassette tape box and threatens,
"One more step and no movie!" The mob takes a step back,
horrified. "My God!" the bride cries, "I think he means
it!" "What is the movie, anyway?" the irate man asks.
"Oh, itís a good one," Balki says, reading the cassette box in
Larryís hand, "Ernest Goes to Camp!" "Get him!" the
bride suggests, and the mob starts to advance again. "Wait a minute!
Wait a minute!" Balki says, stepping forward to keep the mob back,
"Now just get back, funky cats. Now I may be mistaken but Iím
picking up some bad vibes from you people. Youíre supposed to be going
off to have a nice vacation. Why arenít you happy and joyful? Why
are you acting like a lunch mob?" "ĎCause youíre the worst
flight attendants weíve ever seen," the irate man states.
"Yeah!" everyone agrees.
"Well, I got a hot flash for
you," Balki says, "Weíre not flight attendants at all. Here .
. . " Balki pulls blankets off two of the back row seats, revealing
Jennifer and Mary Anne, " . . . are your flight attendants. And they
happen to be two of the best in the
business." Jennifer and Mary Anne both collapse onto the seats next
to them. "Unfortunately at the moment theyíre two of the sickest in
the business," Balki adds. "Yeah, well cry me a river," the
ex-smoker complains, "I paid good money for good service and Iím not
getting it." "We understand that," Larry assures them,
"The only reason weíre doing this is to help these ladies out. I
mean, if somebody complains they could lose their jobs. Now, look . . . is
it too much to ask that we all just help out a little? Just sit down and
be patient and weíll get to you. Now think about it . . . youíre
fighting over airline food." "Well, heís got a point,"
the groom says, "my brownie was awful." "I thought the
Jell-O was pretty good," the irate man sighs. Everyone goes back to
their seats. Balki and Larry enter the back galley again and Balki sighs,
"You know what? I donít know how Jennifer and Mary Anne serve
dinner at all with the plane bouncing around like this." Larry gets
some more trays out of the container when the captainís voice comes on the
loudspeaker again. "Ladies and gentlemen, this is Captain Hogan
again. I think the turbulence is finally behind us. Flight
attendants may now begin serving dinner." Larry and Balki share a
We see the plane parked at a gate at the
Honolulu Airport. "Girls, Iím glad youíre feeling better,"
Balkiís voice is heard over the
shot. Inside the galley, Mary Anne and Jennifer are back on their feet.
"You know, Jennifer, after trying to do your job I have a whole new respect
for you," Larry admits, then thinks about what heís said and adds,
"Not that I didnít respect you before!" Jennifer nods, saying,
"Oh no, I understand." "Oh look," Mary Anne says,
looking into the cabin, "someone left their jacket." She goes to
get it. "Jennifer, uh," Balki begins, "although you feel
fine now I got to warn you that there is one nasty little side effect. For
about a week youíre going to have a very bad reaction to plaid."
Jennifer laughs, saying, "A bad reaction to plaid? Oh, Balki!"
She continues to laugh as Mary Anne walks in with the jacket, which is a loud
plaid pattern. Mary Anne holds it up, saying, "Well, I guess Iíll
just turn this in to lost and . . . " She stops, as her and Jennifer
see the plaid. They both make a mad dash to the bathroom, leaving Balki
holding the jacket as the episode ends.
There are a few
differences between the shooting script dated January 23, 1989 and the final
living room in the opening scene is described as having clothes all over the
couch as Larry packs the one suitcase. The way it was filmed, he is
finishing his packing with the last suitcase. Balki's bag is described as
just a bag. The I'm So Excited reference is not in this version.
Balki enters and says, "Cousin, I can't believe I'm finally going to get to
ride on an airplane and spend a week in the big banana. Life is too
good." After Larry asks Balki if that's all he's taking, Balki says,
"I'm planning to wear an extra set of underwear."
- When the girls come in, Larry asks, "You two
all ready to New York? I'm dying to see 'Cats.'" Balki says,
"Cousin, we're going to New York just to see cats? You can do that by
hanging around behind the Chinese restaurant." "It's a
play," Larry explains. After Larry says he understands about careers
he also says, "You have to take advantage of an opportunity like
this." After Balki says the Big Apple will be rotten to the core, he
calls Mary Anne "my little golden delicious." After the girls
leave and Larry starts to panic, Balki says, "Cousin, try a little
- On the plane, Balki's bag is described as a small
shoulder bag. After Larry tells Balki that the other passengers don't want
to be disturbed, Balki says, "I wasn't disturbing them, I was just trying
to be a friendly fellow traveler." "Balki, try to be a friendly
fellow traveler without talking to anyone. Now, buckle up."
Balki starts to adjust his belt buckle, saying, "I checked it before we
- Balki has the chalkidikis in a paper bag, not in
the little tin as seen in the show. The scene where Jennifer comes out to
tell Larry and Balki she's sick starts differently. Larry is alone in the
row when Balki excitedly enters and sits down. "Cousin, you have to
go to the bathroom!" Balki says. "No, I don't, Balki,"
Larry assures him. "Yes, you do," Balki insists. "Balki,
trust me," Larry says, "When I have to go, I'll be the first to
know." "You have to go look at the bathroom," Balki
clarifies. "Oh," Larry understands. "It's got a tiny,
little sink with tiny, little faucets and tiny, little soaps. Cousin, it
was practically built for you." (If this scene were filmed and cut
from the show, how did Balki get into the middle seat before Jennifer comes
- In the script when Jennifer comes out they
describe it as "She looks sick, yet lovely."
- When Balki says he's going to go explain to the
passengers about Jennifer and Mary Anne, Larry says, "Are you crazy?
You can't do that."
- After the irate passenger asks for a White
Russian and Balki says he's an olive skinned Myposian, Balki adds, "The
White Russians are descendants from nomadic tribes of the Ural Mountains . . .
" After the turbulence announcement, Balki asks "Cousin, what's
turbulence?" The description is then 'The plane hits a bump.
The guys are thrown against the wall of the galley and the food goes flying.'
"Any other questions?" Larry asks. "No. Thank you,
Cousin," Balki answers.
- Before Larry starts pouring the coffee, Balki is
serving food and drops a baked potato into a woman's lap. "Oh.
I'm sorry. I'll get that for you," Balki offers, and searches for the
potato, finding it and giving it to the woman.
- When Larry is heading back to the galley, he
stops at the back row seat where Jennifer is, stopping to take a blanket out of
the overhead compartment for her. "Jennifer, how are you
feeling?" Larry asks. Jennifer is delirious, and says, "Hi,
Grandma. Thanks for the sweater." Larry looks at her a beat,
then says, "Don't mention it."
- The bride complains to the groom, "You
promised me to let me have your brownie, dear."
- When Larry is explaining about why they are
helping the girls, he says, "Is it too much to ask for everyone to help out
a little? You don't have to do anything, just sit down, be patient, and
we'll get to you." When they go back to the galley, Balki says,
"Thanks, Cousin. For a minute there I thought our goose was
- In the final scene after Balki says he's glad the
girls are feeling better, Jennifer says, "Me too. I don't remember
much about it, but I thought I saw my grandmother." Later Mary Anne
says, "Thanks for taking over, guys. I've never seen passengers so
happy." "Whatever you did, it must have been great,"
Jennifer agrees. "It was nothing," Larry assures them, "I'm
glad we could help out."
on to the next episode . . .