Perfect Strangers Episode Guide

EPISODE 66 - The 'King' and I

First Air Date: February 24, 1989
Nielsen Rating: 16.7 HH

TV Guide Description: A hypnotist's demonstration leaves Larry unfazed, but it leaves Balki acting, dressing and singing like Elvis on the day of Balki's big tax audit.

Co-Producer: James OíKeefe
Created by: Dale McRaven
Written by: Robert Blair
Directed by: Joel Zwick

Cast:
Bronson Pinchot: Balki Bartokomous
Mark Linn-Baker: Larry Appleton
Melanie Wilson: Jennifer Lyons
Rebeca Arthur: Mary Anne
Belita Moreno: Miss Lydia Markham

Guest Cast:
Jo Marie Payton-France: Harriette Winslow
Sam Anderson: Mr. Sam Gorpley
Terrence E. McNally: Lamont Cassidy
Ron Perkins: Mr. Ronald Yates

Dimitri Appearances: Dimitri is not seen in this episode.

Balki-isms:
"Then I need to talk to you, because I got some problems with my hip . . . "
"Oh, I love Charro!  Especially when he takes his sword and makes the sign of the Z!"
"Cousin, I donít think thatís a good idea.  We might get tire marks on it."
"Really?  I have an Uncle Sam myself.  Actually, his name is Salmonella after the fish and the jazz singer."

Donít be ridiculous: Said twice in this episode.

Other catchphrases used in this episode:
"Oh my Lord!"

Other running jokes used in this episode:
Balki and Larry say the same thing at the same time
Harriette insults Lydia
Balki picks up Larry and carries him when Larry is being stubborn
Balki and Larry sit in unison
Balki laughs at his own practical joke
Lydia has a fear of something, in this case pom poms

Songs: "Suspicious Minds" and "Heartbreak Hotel" - performed by Balki when he thinks heís Elvis.

Interesting facts:
-
The episode title is derived from the name of the popular musical, The King and I, with ĎKingí in quotes to refer to Elvis Presley, who was known as ĎThe King.í
- Amongst the posters decorating the walls are ones for the James Dean films Giant and Rebel Without a Cause.  There is also a poster of James Dean by the front door.  On the front door itself is a poster for singing star Fabian, who made a notable appearance on Laverne and Shirley.
- The three background actors we saw in the previous episode, Blind Alley, all appear at the party in this episode as well.
- When Lydia introduces Lamont to Balki and Larry they both reach to shake his hand at the same time, leading to an awkward moment.
- Actor Terrence E. McNally made a couple of appearances on Perfect Strangersí predecessor, Mork & Mindy.  Formerly married to actress Julie Brown, he also penned the novelty song which she recorded in 1984 entitled The Homecoming Queenís Got a Gun.
- Lamont hypnotizes Lydia into thinking she is Charo, who is also known as the "cuchi-cuchi girl."  A talented singer and guitarist, Charo made her first notable appearance in the U.S. on the 1960's show Laugh-In.  Oddly enough, while Charo is not directly connected with the 50's there is an obscure connection in that Elvis Presley starred in a film called Charro! (which is a Mexican word for cowboy) in 1969.  You can visit Charoís official site by clicking here.
- The accidental hypnotizing of someone is a standard in sitcom lore, taken to itís finest level on The Dick Van Dyke Show in almost the same plot context as here, only Rob Petrie is hypnotized to act drunk any time he hears a bell.
- Bronson was anything but a media-baby, so when he was called upon to imitate or perform something from popular culture the producers would provide him with materials to study.  This was the case with Elvis Presley.  In one interview, Bronson said he hadnít cared a thing about Elvis until this script came along and he had to thoroughly research the singer / actor to learn his mannerisms and style of speech.  " . . . I watched a tape of every single thing he did - and now I always smile when I see Elvis, and say, ĎThatís an outtake from a 1956 Sun Records session.í"  (Thanks to Cousin Quidget for finding the article which referenced this episode)
- When Balki, as Elvis, calls out "Red?  You wanna take care of this one?" heís referring to Red West, who was a longtime friend of Elvis from high school and later became Elvisí driver and bodyguard.  Another reference Balki makes is to "The Colonel."  Colonel Tom Parker was Elvisí manager throughout of his career.
- All the instrumental music between the scenes is performed in a 50's rock and roll style.
- When Balki is choreographing the number with Mr. Gorpley, he mentions that heíll start out in front of his cell.  This is a reference to the Jailhouse Rock number made famous in the movie by the same name.
- When Gorpley starts to count to three, saying "One!" and Balki answers with "For the money" then "Two," "For the show," it is a reference to the opening lines of Elvisí 1956 hit Blue Suede Shoes written by Carl Perkins.
- Character actor Ron Perkins also had a recurring role as Pete Wilkins on the ABC hit series Roseanne.  More recently he has appeared as Dr. Simpson on the popular Fox series, House.
- Larry refers to This is Your Life, which was a popular radio and television series in which celebrities and other notable people were surprised by the appearance of friends and colleagues as they look back at the special guest starís life.
- Balkiís comment, "Take it home, Shaun!  Jam!" may be reference to Shaun Nielsen, a tenor gospel singer who sang with Elvis on tour and in the studio in the later years.

Bloopers and Inconsistencies:
-
In the final scene, Lamont says they just came by to pick up his bell.  After he and Lydia leave, Larry notes that Lamont forgot his bell again.  But why is no mention made of his leaving his bell the first time, since theyíre mentioning it now?  A missing scene, which you can read in the script variations below, explains this.


Synopsis:
The episode begins in the apartment, which is decorated for a 50's theme party.  A jukebox by the kitchen is playing "At the Hop" while guests mill about, all dressed in clothes from that era.  Balki exits the bathroom just as Larry walks out of his bedroom and they meet in the hallway, walking into the living room together.  Larry is dressed a la Pat Boone while Balki is dressed more as a hip rock and roller.  They stand, leaning to examine each otherís hairstyles, then they both say, "Nice hair!" to one another.  Harriette approaches, dancing, and says, "Hi guys!  A fifties party is a great idea!"  "Thank you," Larry and Balki say as Harriette joins some other people and they dance back across the living room in a line.

There is a knock at the door and Balki reaches over to open it.  Jennifer and Mary Anne walk in.  Jennifer is wearing a conservative 50's girl outfit and Mary Anne is wearing a dress, hat and glasses like an old woman.  They all say hi to one another.  "Iím sorry weíre late," Mary Anne apologizes, "I couldnít decide what outfit to wear."  "Well, uh, Mary Anne," Larry comments, "I could be wrong but that outfit doesnít look like something from the fifties."  "Oh, from the fifties!" Mary Anne gasps, "I thought we were supposed to dress like we were in our fifties."  "I spent about twenty minutes on it and then just gave up," Jennifer explains.  "Well, come on in!" Larry urges and they enter, Mary Anne asking Balki if her outfit is okay and Balki assures her it is.

Larry is about to close the door when Lydia walks through the door with a handsome gentleman.  Lydia is wearing a Mickey Mouse Club costume with ears and her name across her chest.  "Hi!" Lydia announces, waving at everyone.  "Oh hi!" Larry says, closing the door behind them.  Balki comes over and kisses Lydia on the cheek.  "Uh, this is my friend, Lamont Cassidy," Lydia introduces her date.  Balki and Larry say hello and shake hands with him.  "Lamont is a hypnotherapist," Lydia explains.  "Oh really?" Balki asks, "Then I need to talk to you, because I got some problems with my hip.  I just donít know what it is . . . does this leg look shorter to you?  Because, you know, the hip girdle, itís all at a funny angle."  "No, no," Larry interrupts, "Not a hip therapist.  A hypnotherapist."  "What that is?" Balki asks.  "Well, thatís someone who uses hypnosis to put people to sleep and make them act like dogs and other barnyard animals," Larry answers.  "Actually, I use hypnosis to break people of certain behavioral patterns," Lamont explains, "like smoking, overeating . . . rudeness."  Lamont aims the last one directly at Larry.

"Lamont has successfully cured migraines and back problems and a myriad of sexual dysfunctions," Lydia announces.  "And that was just for Lydia!" Harriette adds.  "Um, Mr. Cassidy, could you show me how that you make people go to sleep and then act like animals?" Balki asks, "Because I havenít seen a really good mongoose impression since I left Mypos."  "I donít know, Balki," Lamont hesitates.  "Oh, come on, Lamont," Lydia giggles, "You can hypnotize me!  You know how easy I am!"  Realizing how that came out, Lydia quickly clarifies, "To hypnotize.  Hypnotize."  "Okay, sure," Lamont agrees, and he leads Lydia to sit on the couch, saying, "Come on, Lydia."  "Everybody!  Everybody!" Balki calls, "Mr. Cassidy is going to hypnotize Lydia!"  Everyone gathers around the couch as Lamont sits on the chair opposite Lydia on the couch.

Lamont pulls a watch on a chain out his pocket and dangles it in front of Lydia.  "Okay.  Now Lydia, concentrate on the watch.  Your eyes are tired.  Theyíre getting heavy.  You can hardly . . . "  Lydiaís head drops to her chest.  "Boy, she is easy!" Harriette says.  "Okay now, Lydia," Lamont continues, "When you hear a bell youíll become Charo, and youíll be Charo until you hear the bell again."  "Oh, I love Charo!" Balki says, "Especially when he takes his sword and makes the sign of the Z!"  "No, thatís Zorro," Larry explains, "This is Charo."  "Oh, this is Charo!" Balki understands.  "Yes," Larry confirms.  Lamont continues.  "When I snap my fingers, you will wake up."  Lamont snaps his fingers and Lydia awakens, looking around in confusion for a moment.  "Oh, Lamont, I hope I didnít do anything silly," Lydia smiles.  "No, of course not," Lamont assures her.  "Oh good!" Lydia laughs, "Because, you know, as a nationally syndicated advice columnist, I have to maintain a certain amount of . . . . "

Lamont rings a little bell and Lydia immediately starts acting like Charo, crying, "Coochi, coochi, coochi!  I am so happy to be here!  Could you lower the lights and I do a little number for you!  Arriba!  Arriba!  Arriba!  Arriba!"  Lamont rings the bell again and Lydia picks up where she left off before becoming Charo.  " . . . to maintain a certain amount of professionalism.  You know, I have a reputation to protect."  Lamont snaps his fingers and Lydiaís head drops again.  "Okay, when I clap my hands you will wake up," Lamont says, "And you will remember nothing of what just happened."  Lamont claps his hands and Lydia wakes up.  Everyone applauds.  "Thank you!" Lydia smiles, then looks at Lamont and asks, "You didnít make me do the rooster, did you?"  "No, no," Lamont assures her.  "That was wonderful!" Balki says, standing up, "I donít believe it!  I want you do that to my Cousin Larry."  Balki runs to Larry as everyone in the room agrees.  "No, no, no.  I donít think so," Larry argues, "There is no way I could be hypnotized. My will is too strong."

Balki picks Larry up around the middle and carries him to the couch.  "You might be surprised, Larry," Lamont says.  "Okay, all right," Larry says, sitting on the couch, "Take your best shot."  "Oh!" Balki says, kneeling down next to the couch, "Make him somebody famous."  A timer goes off in the kitchen.  "Oh, uh, Iíll get the pizza rolls," Larry says, starting to get up.  Balki stops him, saying, "No, no, Cousin.  You stay here and you let Mr. Cassidy hypnotize you.  I go get the pizza rolls."  Balki runs to the kitchen as Lamont picks up the watch and dangles it in front of Larry.  "Remember to concentrate on the watch.  Your eyes are tired."  Larry eyes follow the watch.  Balki finishes getting the pizza rolls out of the oven and walks to the kitchen counter, leaning on it to watch the proceedings.  "Your eyelids are getting heavy," Lamont continues, "You can hardly keep them open."  As he speaks, Larry starts to nod but Balki also starts to nod off at the counter, although no one in the room notices this.  "Youíre getting very, very sleepy.  You are falling into a deep, deep sleep."  Larryís head drops and Balki collapses across the counter.  "When you hear a bell, you will think that youíre Elvis Presley," Lamont suggests, "And you will be Elvis until you hear that bell again. Now when I snap my fingers, you will wake up."

Lamont snaps his fingers and Larry lifts his head.  Balki also gets up from the counter, looking confused.  "Wow . . . what happened?" Larry asks, "I canít remember a thing."  Lamont rings his little bell.  Larry makes a strange face and starts rubbing his neck, saying "I coulda been a contender.  I coulda been somebody . . . instead of a bum.  Which is what I am."  As Larry is saying this, Balki starts to gyrate like Elvis Presley in the kitchen, moving his hips and hands rhythmically, but no one in the living room sees this because they are watching Larry.  "Wow, thatís uncanny!" Mary Anne says.  "Wait a minute!" Jennifer says, "Thatís not Elvis.  Thatís Marlon Brando."  "Well, I donít do Elvis," Larry says in his own voice, "And I donít get hypnotized, either."  Larry reaches down and rings Lamontís little bell.  Balki stops being Elvis when he hears the bell ring.  "Well, Larryís proved his point," Lamont says, "Some people canít get hypnotized.  Theyíre too rigid."  Balki carries the tray of pizza rolls into the living room and says, "Here I am!  Thanks for waiting.  Go ahead, Mr. Cassidy. Hypnotize Cousin Larry."  Everyone looks confused.

The next morning in the apartment Balki is cleaning up after breakfast.  His hair is still in the 50's style from the night before.  The telephone rings and he becomes Elvis, picking up the phone and answering, "Graceland" with Elvisí accent.  "Uh, Iím sorry, maíam . . . we donít have any Balki Bartokomous here.  How did you get this number?  Uh . . . who you talkiní to?  Well . . . folks call me ĎThe King.í  Hold on."  He calls out to the apartment, "Red?  You wanna take care of this one?  Pick up on three!"  He hangs up the phone and stands in the kitchen, looking at the stove.  "Iím gonna fry me a peanut butter and banana sandwich," he announces.

At the Chicago Chronicle, Larry is working at his desk.  Balki enters, still acting like Elvis.  "Ďxcuse me, Mister," he says to Larry.  Larry stands up, asking, "Where have you been?"  "Well, uh . . . Iíve been to Memphis . . . Iíve been to, uh, Nashville . . . I guess Iíve been more places than you can shake a stick at."  "What are you talking . . . ?  What happened to your accent?" Larry asks.  "Well, uh, Iíve been taking acting lessons," Balki explains, "The Colonel wants me to make another picture.  Look, uh . . . I just stopped by to return this."  He holds up an ornate wallet.  "I found it in my pantsí pocket."  "Well, of course you found it in your pants pocket, itís your wallet," Larry points out.  "Uh, no sir, itís not mine," Balki says, "It says it belongs to a Balki Bartokomous.  It says on the identification card that he works here."  " Bad day to fool around," Larry says, "Look, I gotta run this up to the city desk.  When I get back I wanna take a look at your tax return and run over the numbers."  Larry heads for the staircase.  "All right," Balki says, moving to the middle of the basement floor by the stairway, "While youíre gone Iím gonna run over a number of my own."  Larry eyes Balki in disbelief and says, "You do that."  Larry heads up the stairs.

As Balki stands, he counts down "One, two . . . one, two, three, four . . . " and then starts gyrating his hips to music in his head.  Mr. Gorpley enters from the loading dock and sees Balki moving strangely.  He stops, looking at him in confusion.  "Oh good, youíre here for the rehearsal," Balki says, "Okay, Iíll show you how the number goes."  Balki runs up the stairs to the first landing and continues, "I stand like this up here in front of my cell, the music comes in, and I start to go like this."  He begins gyrating his hips again.  "And then I come down here like this."  He comes down the stairs, moving his hips with each step.  "Now, donít worry, now, because uh, Iím choreographing this number myself and I want everyone to have fun.  I wanna work with ya.  But uh . . . letís just see if we can get a little . . . a little . . . "  He takes his knee and pushes on the back of Gorpleyís left knee, trying to get him to flex it a bit.  " . . . in your knees and in your hips, man."  Balki "bumps" Gorpleyís hip with his own.  "You gotta just let out what youíre feeliní.  Thatís what musicís all about.  Come on, baby.  Burn me up this time, put a little fire into it!"

"If you donít start behaving like yourself by the time I count to three," Gorpley warns, "You are out of a job!  One!"  "For the money," Balki says.  "Two," Gorpley continues.  "For the show!" Balki says.  The telephone rings and Balki becomes Balki again, looking at Mr. Gorpley.  "Hi, Mr. Gorpley.  Where did you come from?"  "Minneapolis," Gorpley answers, "And itís really none of your business!"  Gorpley walks to his office as the phone rings again.  Balki becomes Elvis again and walks to the phone, shaking his hips on the way.  The phone rings once more before Balki reaches it and he picks it up as Balki.  "Hello?" Balki says into the receiver, "Oh no, this is the basement.  Complaints is extension 6830.  Youíre welcome."  Balki hangs up the phone.  Balki sees his wallet sitting on Larryís desk and picks it up, looking around in confusion, then putting it back into his pocket.  The elevator door opens and Larry steps out, saying, "Thank you, Harriette."  "All right, sweetie," Harriette answers as she closes the door. Larry walks to his desk, saying, "All right, Balki, come on.  We gotta get to your tax audit.  Weíll run over your return in the car."  "Cousin, I donít think thatís a good idea," Balki says worriedly, "We might get tire marks on it."  "Get in the car," Larry says seriously.  Balki runs past him and they head into the parking garage.

We see the exterior of a building with a sign reading "Internal Revenue Service Building."  A man is sitting at his desk and hits the intercom button on his phone.  "Charlotte, send in my next appointment."  Larry opens the door and he and Balki enter.  "Hi," Larry says.  "Hi," the man says, standing.  "Hi!" Balki offers, walking up and hugging the man, "Iím Balki Bartokomous.  This is my Cousin Larry."  "Ronald Yates, Iíll be your auditor," the man introduces himself, "Why donít you sit down and weíll get started."  "Well, thank you," Balki says as he and Larry sit down across from the desk, "Itís a nice place youíve got here.  So . . . green.  Did you decorate it yourself?"  "Uh, no.  Uncle Sam did that for me," Mr. Yates answers.  "Really?" Balki asks, "I have an Uncle Sam myself.  Actually, his name is Salmonella after the fish and the jazz singer."  "Balki, this is a tax audit," Larry explains, "Not ĎThis is Your Life.í"

The telephone on the auditorís desk rings and Balki starts gyrating in his seat like Elvis.  Mr. Yates picks up the phone.  "Yates speaking. Yes, sir?  Iíll be right there."  Mr. Yates hangs up and stands, asking, "Uh, will you excuse me for a moment?"  "Yes," Larry answers.  Mr. Yates leaves the office.  "Well, he seems like a nice guy," Larry comments.  "Yeah.  Think Iíll buy him a Cadillac," Balki says.  Larry looks at Balki strangely, asking, "What?"  "Buying Cadillacs for people makes me feel good," Balki says, "You want one?"  "Will you stop that?" Larry asks.  "Stop what?" Balki asks.  "Stop pretending to be somebody else," Larry says, "Who are you, anyway?"  "Well, uh . . . folks call me ĎThe King.í"  "The king of what?" Larry asks.  "Man, thatís cute," Balki smiles, "Iíll have to tell that one to Priscilla when I get back to Graceland."  Larryís eyes open wide and he stares at Balki in shock.  "Oh my Lord!  You think youíre Elvis!"  "Well, of course I do!  Donít be ridiculous!" Balki says.

"You must have got hypnotized at the party," Larry says worriedly, "Oh, okay.  All right, all right, all right.  Snap out of it!"  Larry snaps his fingers but Balki is still Elvis.  "Snap out of it!" Larry repeats, trying again and again.  "Uh, no offense, man, but you ainít got no rhythm," Balki says, "It goes like this."  Balki stands up, snapping his fingers, and launches into "Suspicious Minds," dancing along as he sings.  "All right, all right, all right," Larry says, trying to think quickly, "What did Lamont do?  He rang a little bell!  He rang a bell!"  Larry thinks a moment then realizes, "The phone!  The phone!"  He gets up and goes to the phone, looking at it to write down the phone number on the envelope he brought Balkiís tax return in.  Larry then runs out the door to the waiting room.  A moment later the phone on the desk rings and Balki stops being Elvis.  Larry races back through the door, launching himself across the desk to pick up the receiver before the phone can ring again.

Balki eyes Larry in shock.  "Cousin, youíre acting a little strange," Balki notes.  "Balki?" Larry asks.  "Yes?" Balki asks, sounding worried.  "Itís you," Larry sighs with relief, hanging up the phone and getting off the desk, "It worked."  "What worked?" Balki asks, "Did I pass my audit?"  "No," Larry answers.  "Where did Mr. Yates go?"  "Well, he . . . "  "Why am I so sweaty?"  Before Larry can explain anything, Mr. Yates enters the office again.  "Excuse the interruption," he says, walking to his desk, "Sorry."  "Uh, look," Larry begins, "I can see youíre very busy so if you have any questions about the return why donít you give us a call?  Come on, Balki."  "I have questions about the return," Mr. Yates says, "Thatís why youíre here."  "Cousin, what . . . what are you doing?" Balki asks in exasperation, "Youíre acting very peculiar.  Very peculiar."  Balki and Larry sit down again.

Mr. Yates pushes the intercom button on his phone and says,"Charlotte, Iím expecting a call from my wife any minute.  Would you pick up when it rings?"  Upon hearing the word "rings," Larry gets panicked.  "Oh!  Oh!" he cries, holding his hand up over his eyes, "Gosh, the glare from that window.  You mind if I, uh, tilt the blind?"  Larry gets up and walks past Mr. Yates, desk, going straight to where the phone cord goes into the wall.  Without a momentís hesitation, Larry grabs the wire and yanks it out of the wall.  Balki gets to his feet and he and Mr. Yates stare at Larry in shock as Larry stands with the frayed cord in his hand.  "What do you think youíre doing?" Mr. Yates asks.  "Oh goodness!" Larry says innocently, "Howíd that happen?"  "How did that happen?" Balki asks, "You walked over and yanked it out of the wall!  What are you doing?"  "Balki, Balki," Larry tries to stop him, "Just let Mr. Yates finish the audit.  Iím sorry about the phone.  I was raised among the Amish."  Mr. Yates gets to his feet and says, "Could everyone just stay seated while we get through this?"  Larry and Balki sit down, crossing their legs at the same time.

"Now, Mr. Bartokomous," Mr. Yates begins, "how much did you earn last year?"  "Well, uh, let me think," Balki says, and then a clock hanging on the wall starts to chime three oíclock.  Balki becomes Elvis on the first chime, gyrating and shouting, "Take it home, Shaun!  Jam!"  The clock chimes again and Balki becomes Balki again, saying, "Let me think.  Um . . . must have been . . . "  The clock chimes the third time and Balki is Elvis again.  "Canít stop it now, baby!  Canít stop it now!"  "Excuse me? Sir?" Mr. Yates asks, "Your income from last year?"  "Well, I have no idea," Balki answers, "The Colonel handles all my money."  "And Iím the Colonel," Larry improvises, "Colonel Larry Appleton.  And this Colonel can assure you that this gentlemanís income was exactly what it says on that tax return."  "Could you let your friend answer the questions?" Mr. Yates asks, then addresses Balki, "Sir?  Mr. Bartokomous . . . "  "Uh, my name isnít Bartokomous," Balki says as he gets up and approaches the desk, "Itís, uh, Presley.  Elvis Aaron Presley.  Uh . . . maybe you get a lot of Elvises in here, I dunno, but . . . "  Balki walks around the chairs to the back wall.  " . . . so you know which one I am . . . "  Balki grabs a barometer that has a long neck from the wall and holds it like a guitar.  "Iím gonna sing ya a song."  Balki jumps up onto Mr. Yates desk, landing on his knees and strumming the barometer as he sings "Heartbreak Hotel."

Back at the apartment that evening, Larry is sitting on the couch.  There is a knock at the door and he goes to answer it.  Lydia enters with Lamont.  "We got here as fast as we could!" Lydia says, "How is he?"  "Well, heís in his room being Elvis," Larry answers, "I got tired of ringing the bell."  Lamont nods and says, "Well, Iíll just have to hypnotize him again to remove the suggestion."  "All right, Iíll get him," Larry says, "Now . . . bear with me because this is the only thing that he responds to."  Larry hesitates, then says in a booming announcerís voice, "Ladies and gentlemen!  The Grand Showroom of the Las Vegas Hilton is proud to present . . . the one . . . the only . . . Elvis!"  Balki comes out of his bedroom and walks to the middle of the living room, wearing a white sparkling sequined jumpsuit.  He gets down on one knee and holds out the cape of the suit, which is covered with blue sequins, on both sides.  He takes a wood candlestick from the fireplace mantle and talks into it like a microphone.  "Thank you.  Youíve been a really fantastic audience.  A really beautiful audience.  Uh, first picture that I ever made was called ĎLove Me Tenderí . . . Iíd like to sing it for you right now."

"Balki, when I snap my fingers youíre going to fall asleep," Lamont says.  He snaps his fingers and Balki topples face first to the floor behind the couch.  "Now wait a minute," Larry complains, "I snapped my fingers Ďtil I had blisters and it didnít work for me."  "Well, itís not just the snap, itís also the sound of my voice," Lamont explains, "Balki, when you hear a bell you will no longer be Elvis.  You understand?"  "Well, of course I do, donít be ridiculous," Balki answers, still laying on his face on the carpet.  "When I clap my hands youíll wake up and you will remember nothing of what happened yesterday."  Lamont claps his hands.  Balki slowly gets to his knees, looking surprised.  "Lydia!  Mr. Cassidy!  What are you doing here?"  "Um, we just stopped by to pick up my bell," Lamont explains.  "Oh!  Oh!" Larry remembers, fishing into his pocket to pull out the little bell.  He rings it in front of Balki, who simply says, "Pretty."  Larry sighs with relief.  "Looks like heís okay," Lamont observes.  "Well, we have to be going," Lydia says, leading Lamont to the door, "Lamont is gonna hypnotize me to help me get over my fear of pom poms."  As they reach the door, Lydia spots some pom poms on the wall, decorations from the 50's party.  She lets out a scream and cries, "Look!  Thereís one now!"  She spots one on the other side of the door and screams again.  Lamont finally manages to get her out the door.

Larry closes the door behind them.  Balki is looking down at himself, still holding the candlestick.  "Why am I wearing a sequined jumpsuit?" he asks.  "Balki, last night when Lamont tried to hypnotize me, you got hypnotized instead," Larry explains, "You thought you were Elvis all day.  You made me take you shopping."  Balki thinks, then asks, "I didnít turn into Elvis during the audit, did I?"  "Well, yes, yes," Larry answers, "But itís okay.  Mr. Yates finally believed youíd been hypnotized but not until after you tried to hit the high note in ĎYouíll Never Walk Alone.í"  "Boy, I wish I could have been there," Balki sighs.  "Balki, itís good to have you back," Larry says.  "Thank you, Cousin," Balki replies, "Itís good to be back.  Even though I donít know where Iím back from."  Larry looks down and realizes he still has Lamontís bell in his hand.  "Oh, can you believe that?  Lamont left his little bell again."  Larry rings it and Balki starts to sing "Heartbreak Hotel."  Larry turns to look at Balki in shock and Balki smiles and points at Larry, saying, "Got you, Cousin!"  Balki laughs at his practical joke.


Script Variations:
There are some notable differences between the shooting script dated February 13, 1989 and the aired episode:
When Lydia says "You know how easy I am" she specifically says to Harriette, "To hypnotize."  Harriette replies with, "I didn't say anything."
- After Balki says, "Make him be someone famous," he thinks and adds, "I know -- Travos Kalidikos."  "Who's that?" Mary Anne asks.  "Get out of the city!" Balki gasps, "You never heard of Travos Kalidikos?  He's the biggest rock 'n' roll star on Mypos.  Women and small livestock faint when they see him.  You can't tell me you never heard his hit single, 'Rock Around the Flock.'"  Everyone says no.  "What about 'Twist and Snout'?"  They all say no.  "I don't believe this.  On Mypos, we heard all about Elvis and he wasn't nearly as world famous as Travos Kalidikos."  "Balki, it really doesn't matter," Larry says, "He's not going to be able to hypnotize me."  The timer goes off in the kitchen and Balki goes to get the pizza rolls.  After Lamont starts to hypnotize Larry, he says, "When you hear the bell, you'll think you're . . . "  "Make him think he's Elvis," Jennifer suggests, "I'd love to see him try to curl that upper lip."
- The morning scene in the apartment was actually longer.  Larry is in the kitchen, dressed for work.  He crosses to the bookcase and picks up a manila envelope.  Balki enters from his bedroom, partially dressed for work.  "Cousin, what are you doing up so early?" Balki asks.  "Balki, I'm leaving for work early," Larry explains, "Marshall and Walpole have a lot for me to do and I want to get ready for your tax audit.  You haven't forgotten your tax audit, have you?"  "Oh, I wouldn't forget my appointment with the We Are Us," Balki assures him.  "The IRS," Larry corrects.  "You are who?" Balki asks.  "The Internal Revenue Service," Larry explains.  "Oh, oh, oh right," Balki says, looking around, "I guess we'll clean up this place tonight when we get home."  Larry sees Lamont's bell sitting on the end table.  "Oh, look, Lamont forgot his little bell.  Do you believe that guy?"  Larry picks up the bell and rings it.  Balki becomes Elvis but Larry doesn't notice.  "He acts like he doesn't want to hypnotize people at parties, but he carried this little bell around with him," Larry scoffs.  He rings the bell again and Balki becomes Balki again.  "I can't believe he thought he could hypnotize me," Larry continues.  "He sure did a good job with Lydia," Balki notes.  "Balki, Lydia gets hypnotized watching clothes spin around in dryer," Larry says, "See you at work."  Larry exits out the front door with the folder.  This is when Balki starts cleaning the plates off the counter and the phone rings.
- The scene in the newsroom begins differently, too.  Larry is talking to Harriette, saying, "What am I going to do?  Balki hasn't shown up yet and his tax audit is in twenty minutes."  "Maybe the pressure of the audit is getting to him," Harriette suggests, "I remember when I was audited.  I was so upset, I didn't know which way was up.  Which is dangerous when you're an elevator operator."  The elevator buzzes three times.  "Buzz all you want," Harriette calls, "I'm not going to get there any faster."  To Larry she says, "You've got to teach them a little respect."  Harriette exits in the elevator and Larry goes to his desk and this is when Balki arrives as Elvis.
- When Balki explains about his Uncle Salmonella being named after the fish and the jazz singer, he adds, "His mother liked both so . . . " before Larry interrupts.
- There is a segment at the auditor's office which isn't in the episode.  After Larry manages to get the phone to ring to turn Balki back into Balki and Mr. Yates comes back in his office, Mr. Yates asks, "Is this the tax return you filed last year?"  "Yes, it is," Balki answers, "But I didn't do it all myself.  Cousin Larry helped me."  "Good, now . . . " Mr. Yates begins, but a woman pushes a small coffee wagon to the door.  She asks, "Your usual, Mr. Yates?"  "Oh, thanks, Cleo," he says.  Cleo takes a cup of coffee and a cheese danish off the cart and takes them to Mr. Yates.  Balki notices there is a bell on her cart.  "Oh, look Cousin," Balki says.  "Not now, Balki," Larry insists.  "She has a little bell on her cart," Balki notes.  Before Larry can stop him, Balki rings the bell and becomes Elvis.  "Baby, you look sexy tonight, you start the hammers pounding in my skull," Balki says to Cleo, doing an Elvis pucker and kissing her.  Cleo is in awe and says, "I get off at six."  Larry reaches over and rings the bell on her cart and Balki becomes Balki again.  "Nice bell," Larry comments.  Cleo blows Balki a kiss and exits.  "Boy, everyone here is so friendly," Balki notes.  This is when Larry tries to say to the auditor that he appears to be busy.  The way the scenes appear in the final episode it seems as if this part was dropped before the actual filming, although the part of Cleo had already been cast and was supposed to be played by Debra Christofferson.
- After Balki turns into Elvis and starts to sing "Heartbreak Hotel" for the auditor, Larry tries to explain it by saying, "You're probably wondering why he's doing that.  You see, last night we were giving a little party for one of our friends.  It was a fifties thing.  And as luck would have it, there was a hypnotist there.  I said I couldn't be hypnotized and I was right.  Unfortunately . . . " and the scene dissolves.
- After Larry says, "Balki, last night when Lamont tried to hypnotize me, you got hypnotized instead.  You thought you were Elvis all day.  You made me take you shopping," Balki responds by saying, "Wait a minute.  Are you saying last night Lamont tried to hypnotize you and I got hypnotized instead?  And I thought you was Elvis all day and made me take you shopping?"  "Yes," Larry answers.

Continue on to the next episode . . .