Strangers Episode Guide
67 - Prose and Cons
First Air Date:
March 10, 1989
Nielsen Rating: 12.6 HH
TV Guide Description: Larry
and Balki land in jail for refusing to reveal a source on Larry's stock-market
scandal story, but Larry is ready to sing after two thugs are thrown into the
cell with them.
Created by: Dale McRaven
Written by: John B. Collins
Directed by: Joel Zwick
Bronson Pinchot: Balki Bartokomous
Mark Linn-Baker: Larry Appleton
Belita Moreno: Miss Lydia Markham
Jo Marie Payton-France: Harriette Winslow
F.J. OíNeil: Mr. R.T. Wainwright
Robert Schuch: Dutch
Charles Young: Jake
Raymond OíKeefe: The Guard
Zack Phifer: The Process Server
Dimitri is not seen in this episode.
"I didnít realize Iíd made an asset of myself."
"You really have these facts at your fingernails."
"Oh, Cousin! I donít want to be set on fire!"
"I didnít know we were fighting for life, puberty and the pursuit of
"And if he donít like that, he can take it to the bank and smoke
"Well, Cousin, you did tell Judge Gideon that weíd stay in here until
Hell warms over."
"John Paul Jones . . . and Ringo!"
"Yeah, weíre defending the Constitution, the freedom of the press, and
the right to arm bears."
ridiculous: Said once in this episode.
used in this episode:
"Donít do that, baby."
"Oh my Lord!"
Other running jokes
used in this episode:
Balki pinches someoneís nose and calls them a big kidder
Balki hugs someone when greeting them
Balki looks into Larryís mouth as Larry pronounces a word correctly for him
Balki and Larry argue with each other in rapid contradictions
Balkiís name is mentioned in one of Larryís newspaper stories for the first
"America the Beautiful" - sung by Balki and Larry while they are in
prison for refusing to reveal their source on the commodities scandal story
- The title is a pun based on the expression "pros and cons,"
with prose referring to writing and cons referring to convicts.
- The elevator bit at the beginning of this episode
was originally written for the episode Games People Play which aired
earlier this season.
- The informant in Larryís story on the
commodities scandal was named "Sore Throat" by Balki. This is a
pun on the real-life mystery informant called "Deep Throat," the
secret source who leaked information about Richard Nixonís administration
involvement in the Watergate scandal. The identity of "Deep
Throat" remained hidden until 2005 when William Mark Felt, Sr., former
Deputy Director of the FBI, revealed he was the man behind the moniker in a Vanity
Fair article. The name "Deep Throat" was itself based on a
well-known pornographic film of the same name.
- When Balki refers to the pale guy in Poltergeist
II, heís referring to the character of Reverend Henry Kane played eerily
by actor Julian Beck, who warned the Freeling family, "You're gonna die in
h***! All of you! You are gonna die!" The movie was
released in 1986, so it wasnít a particularly topical reference in 1989.
In fact, young actress Heather OíRourke shocking death had happened just over
a year before this episode aired.
- Larry mentions using a Waterpik. In the
third season episode Your Cheatiní Heart itís revealed Jennifer also
has a Waterpik. Just shows how compatible Larry and Jennifer were through
- This is the second time Balki and Larry sing America,
the Beautiful in the series. The previous time, in the first season
episode Baby, You Can Drive My Car, Larry prompts Balki to sing it to
encourage him to not give up on his dream of getting a driverís license.
This time Balki sings it to inspire Larry to be strong while they are in prison.
Both times they sing the second "America" much softer than the first
one. And both times Balki pronounces purple as "pur-play" and
fruit as "froo-it."
- It's not clear if actor Raymond O'Keefe, who
played the guard in this episode, is in any way related to co-producer James
- Larry says that Balkiís name is credited on the article Larry writes
about the commodities scandal. But in a future episode a touching moment
is based around Balki getting his name on one of Larry's articles for the first
- If Balki and Larry were held in contempt of court
for not revealing their source, they were probably taken from the courtroom
straight to the jail cell. Did they really wear such casual clothes while
appearing in court, especially when Larry thought it might be televised?
The episode begins in the basement of the Chicago Chronicle. Larry is at
his desk and Lydia is standing by the elevator. The elevator door opens
and Harriette peeks out nervously. "Is Balki around?" Harriette
asks. "Uh, no heís not," Larry answers. "Then hurry
up, Lydia, before he gets here!" Harriette urges, pulling Lydia into the
elevator. Balki suddenly appears, exiting Mr. Gorpleyís office.
"Harriette!" he cries excitedly as he runs to the elevator to catch
her, "Harriette!" "Oh hi, baby!" she calls, then,
"Bye, baby!" She closes the door but Balki slides over to it and
starts knocking on it, calling, "No, wait! Wait!" She
opens the door. "This is the day you said I could drive the elevator,
you big kidder you!" He pinches and shakes her nose slightly.
"Donít do that, baby," she warns. "Oh," Balki says,
"But Iíve been looking forward to this all week." "Okay,
letís get to it," Harriette sighs.
Balki gets into the elevator, saying,
"Oh, Iím so excited! Iíve been practicing at home in my closet.
Now, now donít worry. I remember everything you teach me."
"Balki," Larry warns, "Make sure you donít accelerate too
fast." "Well, of course I wonít! Donít
be ridiculous," Balki says, then as he closes the doors he asks, "What
does accelerate mean?" We just barely catch a glimpse of Lydiaís
shocked expression. We see the floor indicator of the elevator shoot up
quickly to the seven as Harriette and Lydia scream from inside. "Gotta
remember to use smaller words," Larry sighs to himself. Mr.
Wainwright enters from the loading dock. "Appleton!" he calls.
"Uh, yes sir, Mr. Wainwright?" Larry answers, running to meet him.
"Appleton, that was a great story you wrote on the commodities
scandal," Mr. Wainwright says. "Well, thank you, sir,"
Larry replies humbly, "I try to do my small part for the paper."
"Oh, donít be so modest," Mr. Wainwright scolds, "It was good.
You should try being a little more assertive." "Well, how
Ďbout an office on the same floor with the other investigative
reporters?" Larry asks boldly. "I said assertive, not
pushy!" Mr. Wainwright snaps. "Sorry, sir," Larry sighs.
"Where did you find that informant?
What was it you called him?" "'Sore Throat,'" Larry
answers, "Actually Balki came up with
the name. In fact, Balki was the one who found him. Thatís why
Balkiís name is on the article, too." "Well, I should say well
done to Bartokomous, too," Mr. Wainwright says, "Is he around?"
"Harrietteís letting him drive the elevator," Larry explains.
We see the floor indicator of the elevator again as it drops rapidly from seven
to the basement. We again hear Harriette and Lydia screaming.
"That would be him now," Larry notes. The elevator door opens
and Balki is standing by the controls, while Lydia and Harriette are sprawled on
the floor, along with their papers and envelopes. Balki steps out,
gasping, "Wwowww!! That thing can stop on a dime! Harriette . .
. I think Iím gonna try it again." Harriette, who is on her knees,
holds her hand out and says, "Why donít you take a breather, baby, while
I try to find my contacts." Harriette gets to her feet but Lydia, who
is still on her knees, cries, "My God! Iím shorter!"
Harriette closes the elevator door. Still dazed, Balki walk slowly into
the basement. "Balki. Balki? Look whoís come to see
us!" Larry says.
"Mr. Wainwright!" Balki says,
walking up to the man and feeling his face as if he canít see straight, then
gives the man a hug, "So
nice of you to come down and join us in our basement." "Well, I
just came by to tell you what an asset youíve been to Appleton," Mr.
Wainwright explains. "Well, Iím sorry, Mr. Wainwright," Balki
says sadly, "I didnít realize Iíd made an asset of myself."
Mr. Wainwright looks confused and Larry tries to explain, "No.
No, no, Balki . . . " "I know Iíve made a few mistakes in my
time," Balki continues, "but I donít think thatís any reason for
name-calling." Mr. Wainwright turns in frustration and Larry
says to Balki, "No, no, no, itís not what you think." Larry
turns to his boss. "Heís still learning the language."
"Obviously," Mr. Wainwright sighs, "Well, just keep up the good
work, Appleton. You have a great future as a reporter!" He
shakes Larryís hand and walks back to the loading dock. "Thank you,
sir, thank you!" Larry says. "Now wasnít that nice of him to
come down here?" Larry asks Balki. "Well, to be honest with you,
Iím still smarting from that asset remark," Balki admits. "No,
no, no, Balki . . . an asset is a good thing. A good thing.
He was paying you a compliment," Larry explains. "Really?"
Balki asks. "Yes," Larry confirms. "Wish I could have
understood it so I could have enjoyed the moment," Balki says.
A man enters from the parking garage and
spots Larry and Balki, then walks to them. "Excuse me,
gentlemen!" he says, "Where
can I find . . . " He consults the pieces of paper in his hand.
" . . . Larry Appleton and Balki Bartokomous?" "Iím Larry
Appleton." "Iím Balki Bartokomous." "Oh, I saw
your names on that commodities scandal story," the man says, "Nice
work!" "Oh, thank you," Balki says modestly.
"Weíre already celebrities," Larry says to Balki slyly. They
bask for a second in their newfound fame. "What can we do for
you?" Larry asks. The man hands them each one of the folded sheets of
paper. Larry looks at it and realizes, "This is a subpoena."
"What that is?" Balki asks. "Oh, uh, youíre to appear in
court tomorrow before Judge Gideon and reveal everything you know about the
commodities scandal," the man informs them, then leaves. "Well,
uh . . . Cousin, I guess youíre right," Balki smiles, "We are
becoming celebrities. People want us to start making personal
appearances." Larry stares at Balki in shock.
That night in the apartment, Larry is
sitting on the couch with stacks of papers, a binder and a box in front of him
on the coffee table. Balki approaches from the kitchen carrying two mugs.
"Okay, Cousin," Balki says, "what if the judge asks you how was
the inside information passed?" "All right, all right,"
Larry prepares himself, "Your Honor, uh . . . " He grabs a
manila envelope and
opens it to check the contents, " . . . each commodity was given a code
name, if I can give an example?" Balki motions for him to proceed.
"Pork bellies were called Porky Pigs. I can elaborate if youíd
like?" "No need, Cousin," Balki assures him, "No need.
Wwowww! You really have these facts at your fingernails."
"I have to, Balki," Larry explains, "Iím representing the
Chronicle in what could be the trial of the decade. I have a
responsibility to have all of my facts straight. Besides . . . we could be
on television!" "Oh, Cousin, then that means weíll have to
dress for the camera," Balki notes, "That means nothing too busy.
No stripes. And I would recommend you donít wear yellow, because it
makes you look very pale, kind of like that guy in ĎPoltergeist IIí?"
Balki twists his face in an impersonation and says, "Youíre gonna
die!" "Thanks for the tip," Larry says facetiously.
"Youíre welcome," Balki offers.
"Hey Cousin, when do I get to tell
the judge what I know?" Balki asks. Larry knits his eyebrows.
"What do you know?" "Well, Iíve
got that right here in my filing system!" Balki says, reaching over
to pick up a small ornate box. He opens it and licks his fingers before
pulling out a card. "Your Honor, I have everything you want to know
about ĎSore Throatí right here. Name: Waldo Gillings.
Occupation: Driver for a big Chicago stockbroker. Hobby: Listening to his
boss make crooked deals in the back seat of the limo." Balki puts the
card back in his box. "Balki," Larry says, then reaches over and
snatches the card out of the box, "You canít tell the judge anything
about ĎSore Throat.í We promised Waldo that we would not reveal that
he was the source of our information. As reporters we have to protect
people who come to us with information they feel should be made public.
They know a reporter will not divulge their identity. And that is what I
promised Waldo." "But, but, Cousin, I have heard that if you
donít tell a judge what he wants to know he can send you to jail."
"Well, Balki, yes. Itís true," Larry admits, "The judge
could have us incarcerated." "Oh, Cousin! I donít want
to be set on fire!" Balki cries in horror.
"No. No," Larry says,
"Not incinerated. Incarcerated. Incarcerated. It
means sent to jail. But Balki . . . itís a small price to pay. We
have to stand up for the first amendment." Balki stands up.
"Sit down," Larry orders. Balki sits. "We have to
stand up for
freedom of the press." Balki stands again. "Sit
down!" Balki sits. "We have to stand up . . . sit down! . . .
" Larry snaps before Balki can barely start standing, "for
the very Constitution upon which this country was founded!"
"Well, Cousin, why you didnít say so sooner?" Balki asks, "I
didnít know we were fighting for life, puberty and the pursuit of
happiness." "Well, we are, Balki," Larry confirms, "We
are!" "Well, that settles it!" Balki announces as he and
Larry both stand up, "If that judge wants to know anything about ĎSore
Throatí we arenít going to tell him a thing! Even if he sends us to
jail forever! And if he donít like that, he can take it to the bank and
smoke it!" Larry look confused, then says, "Thatís the spirit.
And you know what I think, Balki?" "Not really," Balki
answers. "Tomorrow when the judge sees the strength of our
commitment, heís not going to throw us in jail. Heís going to throw us
a parade!" "Ha ha!" Balki laughs. There is a quick wipe cut
and we see Larry and Balki being locked inside a jail cell. "Does
this mean we miss the parade?" Balki asks.
Act two begins with an establishing shot
of the prison. Inside their jail cell, Balki is leaning against one set of
bunk beds while
Larry marks a fifth tally on the wall of the cell in chalk. "Five big
ones, Balki," Larry sighs, "Weíve been in stir for five hours."
"Well, Cousin, you did tell Judge Gideon that weíd stay in here until
Hell warms over," Balki reminds him. "And I meant it,"
Larry insists, "Could you believe that judge? He thought he could
break me by throwing me in this hole. Ha!" "Ha!"
Balki echoes, "Yeah, this cell isnít so bad. Itís not as bad as
the one I was in on Mypos. Itís got nice bunk beds and running
water." "Judge Gideon didnít know who he was dealing
with," Larry continues, "Where . . . you were in jail?"
Balki nods. "What for?" Larry asks. Balki looks down and fidgets
with his shirt, hesitating. "Kidnaping," he finally answers.
"You were arrested for kidnaping?" Larry asks in disbelief.
Balki nods painfully. "Yeah. I was accused of a 506.
Stealing a baby goat." Balki looks away in shame. "Oh! Kid-naping,"
"But it was all a mistake . . . a
mistake I tell ya!" Balki explains, "The baby goat had a rotten home
life and used to like to hang
around me. I gave him a lot of positive ego reinforcement."
"So, youíve been behind bars before," Larry states.
"Yeah," Balki sighs, then says, "Well, on Mypos the cells donít
have bars." "No bars?" Larry asks. "No, no.
On Mypos, when they put you in jail they make you stand in front of the court
house and they draw a circle around you." He indicates drawing a
circle on the ground. Larry looks skeptical and asks, "What keeps you
from escaping?" "Itís against the law," Balki answers.
The prison guard walks down the hall carrying two blankets and opens the cell
door, saying, "Hereís your blankets." "Thanks, but I
doubt weíll be neediní Ďem," Larry says, "Weíll be getting out
of here soon." "Well, I wouldnít get my hopes up," the
guard warns, "The last reporter Judge Gideon put in jail for not revealing
his source is still here." "He is?" Larry asks in surprise.
"How long ago was that?" Balki asks. "Well, uh, letís see
. . . he was here when I got here," the guard thinks, "and Iíve been
here, letís see, uh . . . three years." The guard closes the cell
door and says, "Good night," before walking away.
"Three years?" Larry asks,
"Balki, I donít think I can do three years." "Yes, you
can, Cousin," Balki assures him, putting the
blankets on the bunk beds on the far side of the cell, "Thereís a lot of
strength in that compact little body." "We could be here for
years!" Larry realizes, "Our whole world could be this cold, damp
cell. No sunshine. No fresh air. No place to plug in my
Waterpik." Larry starts to panic, rushing the cell door and grabbing
the bars frantically. "Iíll talk! Iíll talk!" he
shouts. Balki runs up behind him and puts his hand over Larryís mouth.
"Now you just calm down," Balki orders, "You just calm down!
Are you gonna be calm?" Larry makes a meek noise and Balki removes
his hand. "Balki, Iím not gonna make it," Larry sighs.
"Come on, Cousin. Have you forgotten what you said?"
"What did I say? Was it something good?" Larry asks.
"Well, of course it was good!" Balki says, "Yeah, you said that
we were in here because we are protecting Waldo and the Constitution and the
freedom of the press." "Yeah. Balki? I say a lotta
things," Larry admits, "Who am I kidding?" "Me,
mostly," Balki answers. "I donít have what it takes to become
a reporter," Larry continues. "Cousin, donít say that!"
"Itís too hard!" Larry whines,
"I donít have the strength to defend the Constitution." Larry
walks away from the door and Balki
follows him. "Thatís not true," Balki insists. "Oh,
yes it is," Larry whines. "No, it isnít!" Balki argues.
"Yes, it is!" "No, it isnít!" "Yes, it
is!" "No, it isnít!" "I donít have the
strength to stand up for anything," Larry moans. "Well then sit
down," Balki suggests. "I can do that," Larry sighs, and
they both sit on one of the lower bunk beds. "Now look, Cousin,"
Balki begins, "People like you have always defended the Constitution.
Who do you think Nathan Hale was? Paul Revere? John Paul Jones . . .
and Ringo! They were just regular people like you until they were called
upon to do something heroic, like defend the Constitution. And they had it
tough, because they didnít even have a Constitution yet!"
"I wish I had your faith in me," Larry says, "I wish I was like
those heroes." Larry starts to look stoic, but crumbles.
"But Iím not! Iím weak!" "Cousin, Cousin,"
Balki sighs, "Cousin . . . draw upon the strength of your
Larry takes in a deep breath and looks
brave . . . then crumbles again. "I canít," he whines.
Balki looks at Larry a moment, then
very softly begins to sing, "Oh beautiful for spacious skies, for amber
waves of grain . . . " Inspired by the song, Larry lifts his head and
says, "Maybe I should stop thinking about myself." "For
purple mountains majesty . . . " "I should think of those
whoíve gone before," Larry continues. " . . . above the
fruited plains!" "And those who will come after! And those
who never made it this far!" Larry and Balki both stand and belt out
"America!" They lower their voices for the second,
"America," then continue loudly, "God shed his grace on
thee!" They walk forward to the cell bars as they sing, "And
crowned thy good, with brotherhood . . . " Over the next lines they
climb up onto the bars, taking a step with each part, "From sea to shining
. . . " They then finish with a crescendo, holding their faces close
together and then stretching far apart for the finale, " . . . seeeeeaaaaaa!"
"Balki, I can do the hard time," Larry announces. He and Balki
jump down from the bars, landing on their feet together.
guard comes down the hallway again, this time herding two large and
aggressive-looking prisoners ahead of him. "All right, hold it right
here," the guard says, then walks to Larry and Balkiís cell and unlocks
the door. "I got a couple of playmates for you guys," the guard
tells Larry and Balki. "Oh my Lord!" Larry cries. The
guard directs the two men to enter the cell, pushing the second one in when he
doesnít move fast enough and slamming the door behind them. The prisoner
turns to the guard, threatening, "You push me again and youíre a dead
man!" "Donít hit him, Dutch," the other inmate says,
"Itíll make your hands swell up again." Balki pats the second
prisoner, whose name is Jake, and says, "Hi, Iím Balki Bartokomous, and
this is my Cousin Larry Appleton, and now that we have four maybe later we can
play Password!" "Scram!" Jake says in a mean tone.
"Ooh, thatís a tough one!" Balki smiles, "Cousin, weíre gonna
have to practice. These guys are good." Dutch and Jake settle
themselves on a set of bunk beds.
Larry hurries over to the guard, saying,
"Excuse me? Uh, guard? Could I talk to you for just a moment?
I think thereís been a
mistake. Uh, we are white collar criminals and these two are clearly mad
dog killers. I donít want to be a snob about this but shouldnít we be
in separate cells?" "Oh, of course!" the guard says,
"Iíll get on it right away. And while Iím at it Iíll warm up
your Jacuzzi." "Ooh!" Balki says excitedly. The guard
walks away and Dutch comes up behind Larry and taps him on the shoulder.
"Hey, what are you two guys?" he asks, grabbing them by their shirts,
"Some kind of snitches?" Jake approaches them as well.
"Oh no! No, no, no, no," Larry assures him, "We are not
snitches. In fact, weíre in here for not snitching."
"Yeah, weíre defending the Constitution, the freedom of the press, and
the right to arm bears," Balki explains. "You say one more word
and Iím gonna reach down your throat and pull out an organ," Dutch
threatens Balki. "Okay," Balki replies. Dutch releases
them and walks away. Larry and Balki share a look of concern.
Later that night, the four prisoners are
laying on separate bunk beds. Dutch is on the top bunk above Jake and
Balki is on the top bunk above Larry. Larry is curled up on his mattress,
not sleeping. Dutch, who is awake, hops down from his bunk and
approaches Larry. Larry watches nervously as Dutch reaches down and grabs
the blanket from off him. Dutch climbs back onto the upper bunk and covers
himself with both blankets. Larry lies curled on his bare mattress and
starts to shiver from the cold, making the entire bunk bed shake. Balki
sits up suddenly and cries, "Earthquake!" He jumps down from his
bunk and runs for the door, shouting, "Quick! Stand in a
doorway!" He reaches the door and realizes there is no doorway and
cries, "Oh God!" Balki runs back across the cell and Larry stops
him, saying, "Balki. Balki. Itís not an earthquake.
Iím just shivering from the cold. That goon over there took my
blanket." "Oh, well, Cousin," Balki says, "Here, here,
here, here . . . take mine." He grabs his blanket from the top bunk
and gives it to Larry. "Are . . . are you sure?" Larry asks.
"Why sure Iím sure," Balki says, "Cold donít bother
sheepherders. Cold and rain . . . now that bothers us. Do you ever
smell a sheep after itís been out in the rain a couple of days?" He
makes a face and cries, "Whoa!"
"You sure you donít need your
blanket?" Larry asks. "Absolutely," Balki assures him.
"Thank you," Larry smiles. Larry lays back on his bed and Balki
climbs up into his bunk and lays down. Moments later Jake gets up from his
bunk and also walks over to
Larry, also stealing his blanket. Balki watches this, then looks down at
Larry in surprise. He hops off the top bunk and kneels next to Larryís
bed. "Cousin, are you going to let them get away with this?"
"Well, yes, that was my plan," Larry answers. "Well, uh,
look . . . Iím gonna have a word with Dutch," Balki announces, "I
think that heís just going through a bad time in his life and he needs someone
to reach out to." Balki walks over to Dutch on the top bunk.
Dutch is covered completely with the blankets so Balki knocks on his bed as if
he were knocking on a door. Dutch doesnít respond so Balki knocks again.
When Dutch still doesnít respond Balki starts to knock again. Suddenly,
Dutchís hand reaches out from under the blanket and seizes Balki by the
throat. Larry reacts to this with shock. "Uh, excuse me," Balki
says in a hoarse voice, "I just wanted to point out that you have all the
blankets and weíre freezing our buttocks off." Dutch pulls the
blankets from his head and says, "Jake, Iím gonna kill this one,
okay?" "Okay," Jake yawns sleepily.
Dutch starts to get up but Larry runs
across the cell crying, "No! No, no, no, no! Donít mind him!
Donít mind him! Heís . . . heís . .
. heís sleepwalking! Sleepwalking! Balki, wake up!"
Larry slaps Balki across the face. "Ow! Ow!" Balki cries.
"Balki, wake up!" Larry repeats, slapping him again. "What
are you . . . ?" Balki cries. "Wake up!" Larry cries.
"What are you doing?" Balki asks, slapping Larry back with both hands
on his face. "There! There! Heís awake now!" Larry
says anxiously, "Heís awake now! Everythingís fine!
Everybody go back to sleep." Jake gets up from his bunk and says,
"I hate to wake up in the middle of the night without beatiní somebody
up." "You know somethiní?" Dutch asks, "I think this
cellís gettiní too crowded." "Letís throw these guys
out," Jake suggests. "Hey, weíd love to leave," Larry
remarks, "but the cell doorís locked." "Hey, no
problem," Dutch says, "Weíll just push you through the bars like
grabs Larry as Balki cries, "What are you doing to my Cousin Larry?"
Jake grabs Balki and they push them into the cell bars, trying to squeeze their
heads through the bars. The guard appears and cries, "All right!
Stop horsiní around!" He opens the cell door. "Well,
itís about time!" Larry says as he and Balki approach the open door,
"I guess Judge Gideon found out what the power of the press means!
Letís go, Balki." They start to leave but the guard stops them.
"Not you two. You two. Your mother posted bail."
Dutch and Jake exit and the guard shuts the door behind them and leads them down
the hall. Balki and Larry walk to the bars, Larry in shock.
"Well, Iím not sorry to see them go," Balki says wistfully,
"But I do have one regret." "Whatís that?" Larry
asks. "Now weíll never be able to see if our heads would fit in
between these bars," Balki says sadly. Larry eyes him in disbelief.
The next morning, Larry and Balki are
still sitting in their cell. Larry marks another tally on the wall.
Balki is sitting on his top bunk
with a harmonica, playing "I Wish I Had Someone to Love Me (The
Prisonerís Song)" with great emotion. Larry walks over and leans
against Balkiís bunk, noting, "Balki, I had no idea you could play the
harmonica so well." Balki lowers the harmonica and starts to shake it
out, but the music continues to play, much to Larryís confusion. "I
think itís someone down the hall," Balki explains. The guard
approaches their cell and says, "Morning, fellas. I got a message for
ya from Judge Gideon." He unlocks their cell door and enters.
"Yeah, well, I think I know what it is," Larry says.
"Yeah," Balki agrees. "He wants us to reveal our
source!" "Yeah!" "Well, I got a message for
him." "Yeah." "You tell that judge that Larry
Appleton is a serious journalist." "Yeah!" "And
even if I have to spend the rest of my life in this cell I will never reveal the
identity of ĎSore Throatí!" "Yeah!" "You
mean Waldo Gillings?" the guard asks. "Yep," Balki answers,
then he and Larry react. "You know?" Balki asks.
"Everybody knows!" the guard explains, "When Gillings found out
you two guys went to jail for him he came forward and decided to testify against
his boss. So youíre free to go." The guard walks out of the
Balki jumps down from his bunk.
"Hey, Cousin. Cousin? Did you hear that?"
"Yeah! Weíre free to go!" Larry says happily. "No . .
. what . . . did you hear what you said?" Balki asks. "Yeah!
Weíre free to go!" Larry repeats. "Cousin! Cousin!
Try to focus," Balki continues, "You said that you were a serious
journalist." "Yeah, I did, didnít I?" Larry realizes.
"Yeah! You did!" Balki says, patting Larryís arm, "And
youíre right, too. You do have what it takes to make a great
journalist." "You think so?" Larry asks. "I know
so, Cousin," Balki assures him, "When you do time with someone, you
get to know them." "Thanks, Balki," Larry offers, "I
donít think I could have done it without you." "We make a
great team, donít we?" Balki asks. "Yeah, we do," Larry
agrees, "Well, we showed them, huh? We can take any time they can
dish out!" "Yeah!" Balki agrees, "We can stay here
forever if we have to!" Larry nods. The guard walks back toward them,
calling, "Are you guys cominí or you wanna stay here?" After a
momentís pause, Larry and Balki race from the cell, running down the hall and
past the guard.
on to the next episode . . .