Strangers Episode Guide
99 - The Break Up
First Air Date:
October 12, 1990
Filming Date: August 29, 1990
Nielsen Rating: 12.8 HH
Created by: Dale McRaven
Written by: Terry Hart
Directed by: James OíKeefe
Bronson Pinchot: Balki Bartokomous
Mark Linn-Baker: Larry Appleton
Melanie Wilson: Jennifer Lyons
Rebeca Arthur: Mary Anne
David Sederholm: Bill Madden
Brian Carpenter: The Maitre dí
Appearances: The photo of Dimitri which was seen earlier this season in
the kitchen can now be seen on the bookcase.
"Nineties? I would have guessed late twenties, tops."
"I know Iím just a simple Mypiot boy and I may never be a man in my Nikes
. . . "
"Cousin, enough is too much . . . "
"Itís the bottom of the ninth, two outs, the bases are loaded and
youíve got two strikes against you. Cousin, itís time to kick it
through the uprights!"
ridiculous: Not said in this episode.
used in this episode:
"Oh, go on with you . . . "
"Oh my Lord!"
Other running jokes
used in this episode:
Larry tries to dunk a cookie into his coffee and then eat it without success
Balki mumbles and complains in Myposian
Balki offers up a saying in Myposian then translates it into English for Larry
Larry repeatedly asks Balki if he is something, to which Balki scoffs until he
Larry grabs Balki by the shirt
Larry uses Wayne Newton to distract Balki
Balki tries to say something but is repeatedly interrupted, this time by
A joke is made about Larryís height
Notable Moment: Larry
and Jennifer become engaged.
- This was actually the 100th episode filmed, but would be the
99th episode to air. According to USA Today, there was a cast
party at a Greek restaurant which included a five foot cake in the shape of the
Statue of Liberty. The production schedule for the episode shows that a
party was held on the soundstage after the filming was done. At the
filming, we were told that they'd had the dinner before the filming (although in
our records it says it was a steak and lobster dinner) and that they had cake
This was only second time we had seen the girls apartment. The
rainbow wallpaper was different this time, running horizontal instead of
diagonal. It appears they did finally discontinue that original pattern.
- There are pictures of both Larry and Balki
sitting behind the couch in the girlsí apartment, both of which are actually
promotional shots from the showís publicity department. Itís
interesting to note that the guys donít have photos of the girls in the living
room of their apartment, though.- Balki had been
cooking since the
beginning of the series but this was the first time it was ever implied
that he was taking actual cooking classes. This would tie-in when later he
began running a catering business. It isnít known if the writers were
thinking of eventually making Balkiís culinary skills his prime occupation,
but of course he ended up becoming a cartoonist and editor instead.
- The establishing shot of the restaurant is the
same as used in previous episodes with a different name superimposed over the
awnings. You may remember it as Edwards in the episode Karate Kids.
Once again Balki gets to speak in a Californian accent, reminiscent of his
- When Balki says, "My mama done told me . . .
" heís borrowing a line from a classic American song entitled "Blues
in the Night," written for a film of the same name in 1941.
- This was one of the first television appearances
for Brian Carpenter, who played the Maitre dí in this episode. He has
since gone on to appear in many shows, including Babylon 5, Chicago Hope,
Roswell, Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman,
Beverly Hills 90210 and Desperate Housewives. You can visit his
official site by clicking here.
- David Sederholm, who played Jenniferís old
college beau Bill Madden, was once a regular on the daytime serial, Ryanís
Hope. He seemed to carve out a niche as playing a handsome date or
rich guy on various shows over the years, including Friends where in one
episode he played the guy in the coma that both Phoebe and Monica yearn for.
- When Larry is proposing he makes a point of saying he wanted to tell
Jennifer he loved her since the first time he saw her in the health club.
But if youíll think back to the episode Hunks Like Us youíll remember
that Larry first saw (and lusted after) Jennifer at the Ritz Discount store when
she came in to find Balki to have him sign his membership application to the
episode begins in the apartment. Larry is sitting at the counter,
carefully dunking a cookie into his cup of coffee. Balki enters through
the front door wearing a chefís uniform. "Cousin!
Cousin!" he says excitedly, dropping his jacket onto the couch and running
to the counter while carrying a foil-covered glass casserole pan. Balki
takes the cookie from Larryís hand and throws it across the room, then holds
the pan out to Larry, peeling back the foil. "Try . . . try this!
I made it in my cooking class. Everybody loved it." "Egg
rolls?" Larry asks, eyeing the contents. "Yeah," Balki
confirms. "Well, they look safe enough," Larry decides. He
takes one and bites into it, reacting with surprise. "Balki . . .
these are the best egg rolls Iíve ever had!" "Oh, go on with
you," Balki scoffs. "No, I mean it!" Larry insists.
"No," Balki replies. "These are delicious!" Larry
as my cooking teacher Mr. De Rigeur says, ĎBalki, cuisine is an art.
Thatís why we call it Cuisinart,í" Balki relates with a French accent.
"Wh . . . what gives it that sort of bittersweet taste?" Larry asks.
"Well, uh . . . Cousin, you know, a . . . a chef is never supposed to
reveal his secrets," Balki begins, still in a semi-French accent while
removing his toque, "but I added a Myposian delicacy. I didnít
think you had it in this country and then I found it down by the lake in a
grocery store called Nedís Bait Shop." Larry drops the egg roll,
then asks, "Nedís Bait Shop?" "Yeah," Balki
confirms, "Ned had no produce at all but his meat case was stunning."
Larry picks up a paper napkin and wipes his tongue with it vigorously.
There is a knock at the door and Larry goes to answer it. Itís Jennifer.
hi, Jennifer!" Larry greets her. "Hi, Larry," Jennifer
smiles. "Oh, Jennifer! Jennifer!" Balki says, running over
with the pan, "Can I . . . can I offer you some . . . some egg rolls a
la Mypois?" "Oh, thank you, Ba . . . " Jennifer
begins, reaching for an egg roll when Larry motions for her not to take one.
" . . . lki, but I just ate," Jennifer finishes.
"Okay," Balki says, "Maybe later. They . . . they really
should curdle for about an hour." Balki motions to one of the egg
rolls and says, "Get back in there." He carries the pan back to
the kitchen, urging whatever is in the egg roll to "Stay . . . stay!"
"Larry, thereís something I . . . I need to ask you," Jennifer says.
"Well, sure, what is it?" Larry asks. "Well, I got a call
today from an old college friend who wants to have dinner with me Friday
night," Jennifer explains, "But Iíd be happy to say no if you want
donít be silly," Larry insists, "Have dinner with your friend.
Whatís her name?" "Bill Madden," Jennifer answers.
Larry looks surprised and asks, "That wouldnít be a guy, would it?"
"I can tell him no if you want me to," Jennifer repeats.
"Absolutely not!" Larry replies, "Uh, so you have dinner with a
guy who sat next to you in zoology lab. Big deal."
"Actually, I dated Bill for four years," Jennifer corrects him.
Larry looks shocked, but tries to hide it. "But, I can tell him no if
you want me to," Jennifer tries again. "No!" Larry says
adamantly, "No, no, no, no. Heís an old friend. H . . . have
dinner with him. I insist." "You wouldnít be
upset?" Jennifer asks. "Upset? Me?" Larry asks,
"No, no, no, no. Have a good time. Say hello to Bill for
me." "Well, okay," Jennifer shrugs, "Bye, Larry."
She leaves and Larry says, "Bye bye," before closing the door behind
sooner has Larry closed the door when he cries out, "I wanna die! I
wanna die!" Balki runs from the kitchen and leads Larry toward the
couch gently, asking, "Wh . . . whatís wrong with you?"
"Whatís wrong with me?" Larry cries, "What is wrong with me?
Iíll tell you whatís wrong with me! Jennifer is going out with her old
boyfriend." "Oh, is that all?" Balki says, and he turns to
walk back to the kitchen but Larry grabs his arm and stops him. "No,
thatís a horrible thing!" Larry yells, "I donít want Jennifer
going out with another guy!" "But, Cousin, Cousin, I donít get
it," Balki says, directing Larry to sit on the couch with him, "I just
heard you tell her it was all right. If you didnít want her to go, why
you donít just say no?" "Balki, the woman I love tells me she
wants to go out with another man and you expect me to say no?" Larry asks,
"What? Do you think Iím stupid?" "Is this a trick
question?" Balki asks. "No. No, it is very simple,"
Larry says, "Jennifer is a woman of the nineties . . . "
"Nineties?" Balki exclaims, "I would have guessed late twenties,
"No, no," Larry sighs, "No,
no, no. Not a woman in her nineties. A woman of the
nineties. And if you read any of those womenís
magazines you know that what she wants is a man of the nineties."
"Well, Cousin, in sixty years youíll be a man in your nineties and all
your problems will be solved," Balki offers. "No, no,"
Larry says, losing patience, "Not a man in his nineties, a man of
the nineties. And a man of the nineties isnít possessive or jealous.
And if I had told Jennifer I didnít want her to go on this date she would have
thought I was possessive and jealous. And then she would have dumped me,
gone out with another man and Iíd be miserable." "But . . .
but . . . she is going out with another man and you are
miserable," Balki points out. "I know that!" Larry assures
him, "But thatís how you keep a woman in the nineties. Havenít
you understood a word Iíve said?" "Do we have any aspirin
because I just canít take it . . . " Balki sobs, lowering his head into
his hand. "Let me explain it again," Larry says as Balki
continues to cry with frustration, "Let me explain it . . . itís simple!
Itís really very, very simple."
Upstairs in the girlsí apartment, Mary
Anne is sitting on the couch painting her toenails. "This little
piggy went to market," she
says of her toes, "This little piggy stayed home. This little . . .
" Jennifer storms into the apartment and slams the door behind her,
stating, "Larry Appleton is a jerk!" "It didnít go
well?" Mary Anne surmises. "I just asked him if he would mind if
I had dinner with another man," Jennifer explains, "Do you know what
he had the nerve to say to me? ĎI insist! Have a good time!
Say hello to Bill for me!í I could just shake him Ďtil his teeth
rattle. Iíve been dating Larry for over three years and I still donít
know where our relationship is going." "Well, I think you should
just ask him," Mary Anne says. "I know what Iíll do!"
Jennifer says suddenly, "Iíll tell Larry I want to date other people.
Heíll have to say no to that and then Iíll know how he really feels.
Thanks a lot, Mary Anne. You always give me such good advice."
Jennifer runs out the door. "Glad I could help," Mary Anne says
after sheís gone.
at the guysí apartment, Larry is still trying to explain it all to Balki, who
walks to the couch and sits down holding an ice pack to his head.
"So, by giving her complete freedom Iím ensuring that sheíll be mine
forever," Larry says, then asks, "Now do you understand?"
"Perhaps you could recommend some reference material on the subject?"
Balki asks. "Balki, let me put it another way, okay?" Larry
suggests. "Please, any other way . . . " Balki moans.
There is a knock at the door and Larry answers it to find Jennifer.
"Oh hi!" he says, "Uh . . . come on in." "Larry,
thereís something else we need to talk about," Jennifer begins. She
looks down at Balki on the couch as Larry says, "Balki, we need to be
alone." "Cousin, youíre right," Balki agrees,
"Jennifer, could you excuse us, please?" "No, Balki,
Jennifer and I need to be alone," Larry clarifies.
then I should be the one to leave," Balki says.
"Yes," Larry agrees. "I donít know why you make
everything so complicated," Balki whines as he gets up from the couch and
goes to his room, complaining in Myposian as he leaves. "Larry,
weíve been seeing each other for three years," Jennifer points out.
"Yes," Larry smiles, "Yes, we have." Balki walks out
of his bedroom and steps over to them. "Cousin, we have to
talk," Balki tells Larry. "Balki, Jennifer and I are in the
middle of a conversation," Larry says. "Iíll meet you at the
lamp," Balki says seriously, and he pinches Larryís behind before
stepping away. "Iím sorry," Larry apologizes to Jennifer,
"If I donít listen to him heíll hold his breath." Jennifer
nods and Larry walks over to Balki and asks, "What is it?"
I was just putting my Silly Putty back in my egg when I had a realization,"
Balki says, "Now, I know that some things are very personal and there are
times when a person shouldnít interfere. In fact on Mypos we have a
saying: ĎKongi fongi lavi, andri baba dravi, och po po po lopi, just donít
be so dopi.í" "Kongi fongi lavi, andri baba dravi, och po po
po lopi, just donít be so dopi?" Larry repeats.
"Exactly," Balki confirms, "Literally translated it means,
ĎWhen a man is rinsing out his underwear . . . donít drop by.í"
"Is there a point to this?" Larry asks. "Cousin, you should
tell Jennifer how you really feel," Balki urges. "Balki,
Jennifer is a woman of the nineties," Larry says again, "I am a man of
the nineties. Are you a man of the nineties?" "Ah
ha!" Balki scoffs. "Are you a man of the nineties?"
"Ah!" "Are you? Are you? Are you? Are you
a man of the nineties?"
thinks a moment then answers, "No, no Iím not." "Then I
suggest you go to your room and weíll talk about this when you are,"
Larry scolds. "That seems fair," Balki sighs, and he returns to
his room. Larry walks back over to Jennifer. "Now . . . where
were we?" "Weíve been seeing each other for three years,"
Jennifer starts again. "Yes," Larry nods. "And I was
wondering how you might feel about us dating other people," Jennifer says.
"Other people?" Larry asks with surprise, trying to hide his true
feelings, "W . . . well, I . . . I guess that would be . . . all right . .
. I guess," Larry stammers. "It would?" Jennifer asks,
trying to read Larryís expression, "Uh, maybe Iím not making myself
clear. You see, I donít just mean one date with one person. It
could be several dates with one person or one date with several people or
several dates with several people. There are several possibilities.
What do you think?"
"Well, uh . . . " Larry says,
"if you think thatís, uh . . . a good idea . . . so do I."
"So, youíre saying that it wouldnít bother you if we
both dated other people?" Jennifer asks. "Bother?" Larry
asks, "Oh, no, no. It wouldnít bother me if it wouldnít bother
you." "Youíre sure?" Jennifer asks.
"Positive," Larry smiles, still trying to hide his true feelings.
"Well, okay," Jennifer says, "How Ďbout this? I donít
think we should see each other at all. Goodbye, Larry."
Jennifer turns in a huff and leaves. Balki slowly walks out of his bedroom
with a cocky stance, carrying a wooden ball in cup toy. He walks over to
Larry and tosses the ball up but misses catching it in the cup. "I,
uh . . . I know Iím just a simple Mypiot boy and I may never be a man in my
Nikes but . . . from where Iím standing . . . " Balki finishes in a
Californian accent. " . . . yer lookiní at tail lights, dude!"
On Larryís stunned expression the scene fades to black.
two begins two weeks later at the apartment. Larry is sitting in his
pajamas and bathrobe, unshaven and unkempt, looking out the window through
binoculars. We can hear the sound of the sports car pulling away.
"Well, there they go again," Larry sighs to Balki, who is in the
kitchen, "Itís been fourteen days and Jenniferís gone out with Bill
fourteen times. Youíd think by now sheíd be sick of gettiní in and
out of the Porsche." "Cousin, uh . . . what do you say we go out
and get a couple of sky high sundaes?" Balki suggests.
"No," Larry says, "I wanna be here when the get back."
"Cousin, enough is too much," Balki protests, "Youíve got to
pull yourself together." Balki walks over to Larry and prods at his
with a rolling pin, moving him away from the window. "Now come on,
move it along, buddy. Move it along. Just keep moviní."
they are past the kitchen, Balki points out, "Cousin, you havenít left
the apartment in two weeks." "I have no reason to leave,"
Larry sighs, "Life outside this apartment is meaningless. Life inside
the apartment is meaningless . . . but my pajamas are here."
"Okay, buddy, park it on the couch," Balki prods with the rolling pin
again, motioning for Larry to sit down, "On the couch . . . on the couch .
. . move it, please." They sit down and Balki addresses Larry
seriously. "Listen to me . . . my Mama done told me there are two
times in life when youíve got to tell people what your true feelings are.
One is when someone is sticking a sharp thing in your ear. Then you say,
ĎPlease . . . take that sharp thing out of my ear.í The other is when
you love someone. And then you say, ĎI love you!í Itís
important not to get the two mixed up."
"Balki, if I tell Jennifer I love her
sheíll just reject me again and I . . . I couldnít stand that much
pain," Larry explains. "Oh,
Cousin," Balki sighs sympathetically. "I . . . I . . . Iíve
gotta stop thinking about her or Iím gonna go crazy," Larry says,
"Iíve gotta try to forget her. So if youíre my friend you wonít
do or say anything that reminds me of that . . . nameless . . . blonde
woman." Balki looks confused and asks, "Now who are we talking
about?" "Jennifer," Larry explains.
"Jennifer?" Balki asks. "No!" Larry cries, startling
Balki, "Donít say her name! Just promise me you . . . you wonít
mention her name again!" "Promise youíll never scare me like
that again!" Balki cries. "Okay," Larry agrees.
"Okay," Balki agrees. "I promise," they both say at
the same time. "Thank you," Larry adds, "Iíll be in my
room . . . destroying anything that reminds me of that nameless blonde
woman." Larry gets up and heads for his bedroom, then stops.
"Iíll start by destroying all her love letters," he says, then he
looks crushed and cries, "Oh God! She never wrote me any love
cries as he walks into his bedroom. There is a knock at the door and Balki
gets up to answer it, finding Mary Anne. "Hi, Mary Anne," Balki
offers. Mary Anne steps inside, looking serious. "Balki, I need
to talk to you." Balki takes her aside and closes the front door.
"Bill told me heís taking Jennifer to Chez Fino tonight," Mary Anne
begins. "Oh, I love that restaurant!" Balki exclaims, "They
have those little snails in puff pastry and if you poke them out they go
walking, walking . . . " Mary Anne grabs Balkiís head to get his
attention back. "Balki . . . Bill is going to ask Jennifer to marry
him." "Pig stikki! Fig stikki!" Balki curses, then
looks startled and says, "Oh! Pardon my Myposian. I canít let
this happen. I . . . I . . . I have to get Cousin Larry to that
restaurant!" "And then what will you do?" Mary Anne asks.
"I donít know," Balki answers, "Maybe take in a movie?"
Chez Fino, we see a couple leaving the restaurant. The camera pans with
them until it stops at a table where Jennifer and Bill are sitting. Balki
and Larry enter and Balki tells the maitre dí, "Bartokomous, party of
two." "Yes, sir," the maitre dí replies.
"Well, this is nice," Larry says, "Iím glad you talked me into
this. I feel better already." "Oh Cousin, youíre a . . .
youíre a . . . " Larry is about to look over toward Jennifer so
Balki turns his head back toward him, patting his face. " . . .
youíre a . . . youíre a new. . . new man. And maybe tomorrow you can
tie your own shoes." "Oh!" Larry laughs, looking down at
his shoes. The maitre dí steps forward, moving in the direction of
Jenniferís table as he explains, "I have a table waiting for you right
over here." Balki grabs Larryís face and spins him around as he
says, "Oh well, why go that way when we can take the scenic route?"
leads Larry along the other side of the restaurant in a long way to their table,
pointing out interesting things as they proceed. "Cousin, look at
this view!" Balki says as they look out the window. "Oh, well,
this is magnificent," Larry agrees. "Would you look at that
view? Fabulous!" Balki continues to lead Larry, next looking at the
wallpaper. "And . . . and this wallpaper! Is that
flocked?" he asks the maitre dí, "Lovely! And is . . . is that
a real oil painting?" Balki stops at a painting over a fireplace and
reaches up to scratch its surface with his fingernails. He looks at his
fingernails and states, "Yes, thatís . . . thatís real oil . . .
thereís a raw umber in the foreground there. Itís fantastic. And
look at this, Cousin! The desserts!" Balki moves them on to the
dessert cart. "Look, they have your favorite . . . lemon meringue
pie!" "Too much sugar for me," Larry laughs.
your table," the maitre dí says, setting their menus down on a table.
"Oh Cousin," Balki says, then sees Larry is about to sit on the side
where he would have a full view of Jennifer, "Cousin, uh, would you . . .
would you mind sitting over here? I canít be looking at those desserts,
you know, I . . . " Larry sits on the opposite side and they both
pick up their menus. "This is nice," Larry sighs, looking
around, "Absolutely nothing here reminds me of that nameless blonde
woman." Larry happens to look around behind him and sees Jennifer at
the table with Bill. "Except possibly for Jennifer sitting over there
with her boyfriend," Larry adds, looking over the menu in his hand. A
moment later his eyes grow wide and he spins around to look at them again.
Before Larry can turn back, Balki has pulled out a pair of reading glasses and
places them on his nose, looking involved in the menu as Larry eyes him with
sets down his menu and slowly starts to knock the items on the table between him
and Balki aside as he moves forward. Balki listens to every clink with
growing dread. Larry knocks one cup off the table completely then grabs
Balkiís menu and tosses it aside as well. Balki removes the glasses and
laughs, "Youíre, uh . . . youíre . . . youíre not going to get
annoyed with me, are you?" Larry is now leaning across the table and
grabs Balki by the shirt, saying, "Iím not gonna get annoyed."
"Oh, thatís good," Balki sighs. "Iím gonna kill
you," Larry adds. "Oh, thatís bad," Balki says.
Larry sits back and announces, "Iím leaving." "No,
Cousin, you canít do that!" Balki cries as Larry jumps up.
"Well, you canít stop me!" Larry insists. Balki chases after
him, grabbing him from behind but Larry continues to walk, dragging Balki with
him into the foyer.
is the sound of a commotion and Balki returns, holding Larry around the neck and
pulling him into the restaurant. "Cousin, you have to tell that
nameless blonde woman how you feel about her," Balki insists, "If you
donít you will regret it for the rest of your life!" Balki
emphasizes the sentiment by squeezing Larryís head repeatedly. "Balki,
let me go!" Larry insists. "No!" Balki says, squeezing
Larryís head again. Larry suddenly points and says, "Oh look!
Is that Wayne Newton?" Balki releases Larry and cries excitedly,
"Wayne!" Larry runs into the foyer and Balki chases after him.
There is the sound of another struggle and Balki enters carrying a stubborn
Larry across his shoulders. Balki carries Larry to Jennifer and Billís
table and stands a moment before asking, "Who had the Cousin Larry?"
"Do you know these people?" Bill
asks Jennifer. "Iím afraid so," Jennifer admits, then she
turns to Larry and Balki and asks, "What are you doing here?"
Balki sets Larry down and explains, "Cousin Larry has something he wants to
tell you." "Uh, weíre in
the middle of a very private moment," Bill says. "Eat your
broccoli!" Balki orders Bill, then steps around Larry so Larry is closer to
Jennifer, urging, "Cousin, go ahead." "Well," Larry
begins, " . . . uh . . . uh . . . uh . . . " "Jennifer,
what he wants to tell you is . . . " Balki tries to help. "Balki,"
Jennifer tries to stop him. "Jennifer . . . " "Balki
. . . " "Let me just say . . . " "Balki . . .
" "Let me tell you . . . let me just say . . . "
"Balki . . . Balki . . . " " . . . if . . . yes."
"If Larry has something to say, let him say it," Jennifer states, then
she looks to Larry. "Well . . . uh . . . uh . . . uh . . . "
Larry stammers until Balki slaps him on the back of the head, "Jennifer?
This . . . this isnít easy for me to say but . . . . . please take that sharp
thing out of my ear." Larry realizes what heís said and looks at
Balki in horror.
turns Larry back to Jennifer so he can try again. "Uh . . . uh . . .
but thereís something I . . . Iíve been meaning to tell you," Larry
tries again, "And I . . . I wanted to tell you the first time I saw you in
the health club. And then we started dating and . . . and . . . and I
wanted to tell you again. And . . . and then a couple of weeks ago when
you came down I . . . I really wanted to tell you. But I didnít.
So . . . Iím telling you now." Larry smiles and sighs, as if a
weight has been taken off his shoulders. "What are you telling
me?" Jennifer asks with confusion. "Jennifer . . . I love
you," Larry says. "You do?" Jennifer asks with a smile.
"Yes, I love you," Larry repeats, "And . . . and . . . and I . .
. I donít want you goiní out with other guys." "Well,
thatís nice," Bill says, "But I just asked Jennifer to marry
me." "Boy, heís fast," Larry comments to Balki.
"Jennifer, if you say yes to me youíll never want for anything,"
Bill promises, "Youíll have a magnificent home, all the money youíll
ever need and . . . " He eyes Larry. " . . . beautiful
Larry and Balki share a shocked look.
"Hereís the ring, sweetheart," Bill says, pulling out a velvet ring
box, "Itís yours if youíll say yes." Bill opens the box to
reveal a gigantic diamond ring. "Oh my Lord!" Jennifer, Balki
and Larry gasp. "Okay, Cousin, youíre
up!" Balki bolsters Larry, "Take your best shot. Itís the
bottom of the ninth, two outs, the bases are loaded, youíve got two strikes
against you . . . Cousin, itís time to kick it through the uprights! Go,
baby, go, baby, go, baby, go!" Balki steps back and lets Larry speak
to Jennifer. "Jennifer . . . I canít promise you a magnificent home
or all the money youíll ever need. And thereís a good chance our
children will be short. But I want you to know . . . nobodyís gonna love
you as much as I do. So I . . . I think it would be . . . just . . .
really . . . good . . . if you married me." After only a moment,
Jennifer nods and says, "Yes, Larry. Iíll marry you."
"You will?" Larry asks with surprise. "Yes," Jennifer
confirms, "Larry, I love you." "Oh! Oh!
Oh!" Larry gasps in disbelief as he reaches down and takes Jenniferís
hand, pulling her up. They share a warm and romantic kiss.
Back at the apartment, Larry and Balki
enter while arguing. "Look, I know it was a horrible night for him
but Bill asked Jennifer
out to dinner, he should have paid the check!" Larry points out.
"Cousin, let it go," Balki urges, "You got the girl!"
Larry thinks about this and smiles, saying, "Youíre right." He
closes the door behind them. "Balki, this is the most wonderful night
of my life. Jennifer loves me as much as I love her and I never would have
found that out if it werenít for you. Thank you."
"Cousin, youíre welcome," Balki smiles, "I . . . I could not be
happier for you! You are going to be married to Jennifer for the rest of
your life!" "Yeah," Larry smiles, "Itís gonna be
wonderful." "Well, it certainly is," Balki agrees,
"because, Cousin, just think of it . . . every hour of every day for the
rest of your life you will have the joy of knowing you have someone to take care
of. Every . . . every . . . every minute . . . of every hour . . . of
every day . . . for the rest of your life, youíll have someone who depends on
you . . . someone who needs you . . . someone whoís very happiness rests in
your hands." After listening to this, Larry faints dead away and
falls to the floor.
There were a few
differences between the Second Draft script dated August 27, 1990 and the
episode which aired:
to the production notes for the week, a 100th episode party was held on the
soundstage after the filming was completed. The reference on Thursday,
8/30 for Setup Airplane on Stage 26 referred to the set for the upcoming filming
of the episode Call Me Indestructible, which was filmed two weeks later.
- In the first scene,
no reference to Larry trying to dunk and eat a cookie is made.
- After Larry tells
Jennifer he's fine with her going out with Bill, Jennifer says, "Well,
okay. I'll be leaving now." She pauses, hoping Larry will say
something, but when he doesn't she says,"Bye." When Larry closes
the door he cries, "My life is over."
- After Balki says he
just heard Larry tell Jennifer it was all right for her to go out, he adds,
"If I remember correctly, your exact words were 'I insist.'"
- Balki doesn't comment on Jennifer
being in her nineties in this script at all. After Larry says that if he
had told Jennifer he didn't want her going out with Bill she would think he was
possessive and jealous, Balki asks, "Then what would happen?"
"Jennifer would dump me, go out with another man, and I'd be
miserable," Larry answers. Then Balki points out this is what has
happened anyway. Larry explains that's how you keep a woman in the
nineties. Balki is totally confused and says, "So what you're saying
is, if you don't want a woman to go out with someone else, you insist she go out
with someone else because that will guarantee that she won't go out with someone
else even though you insisted that she go out with someone else."
"Exactly," Larry confirms. "It's so much simpler on Mypos,"
Balki sighs, "You meet a girl, you like her, you give her a goat."
Jennifer storms into her apartment angrily and Mary Anne deduces that it didn't
go well, Jennifer explains, "Didn't go well? I asked him if he minded
if I had dinner with another man. Did he say, 'Yes, of course I would
mind?' Did he say, 'Over my dead body?' Did he say, 'I don't want
you seeing anyone else?' No. He said, 'I insist. I insist that
you go.'" "You're upset, aren't you?" Mary Anne asks.
"Of course I'm upset," Jennifer replies, "I've been dating Larry
for over three years and I still don't know where our relationship is
going." "Why don't you try saying, 'Larry, we've been dating for
three years. Where is our relationship going?'" Mary Anne suggests.
Jennifer then says that she'll tell him she wants them to date other people.
- After Larry explains
again how by giving Jennifer complete freedom he's ensuring she'll be his
forever, he asks Balki if he understand. "Maybe you could recommend
some reference material on this subject," Balki sighs. "Balki,"
Larry says. "A pamphlet or a tract of some kind," Balki
continues. Larry says he'll try putting it another way and Balki says,
"Please, any other way." "On Mypos, suppose you had a sheep
that wanted to wander off," Larry tries, "Wouldn't you let that sheep
go so she could find out for herself that what she truly wanted all along was to
come back and be with you?" "On Mypos when we had a sheep that
wanted to wander off, we killed it and ate it," Balki replies.
- When Balki tells
Larry his Myposian saying and translates, Larry asks, "Is there a point to
this?" Balki answers, "The point is, it doesn't apply here, so
I'm going to interfere." He then urges Larry to tell Jennifer how he
- After Larry explains
that he couldn't stand to have Jennifer reject him again, he asks Balki never to
do or say anything that reminds him of that nameless blonde woman.
"But, Jennifer is the . . . " Balki begins. "Uh uh!"
Larry stops him, "Don't ever speak her name again." "Don't
make me do this," Balki begs, "Please don't make me do this."
"Promise me you'll never mention her name again," Larry repeats.
"All right, I promise never to mention her name again," Balki
reluctantly agrees. Then Larry goes to his room, saying he'll destroy her
love letters before realizing she's never written him any.
- When Mary Anne
enters, she asks, "How's it going with Larry?" "Pretty
good," Balki answers, "I got him away from the window."
"That's not good enough," Mary Anne sighs, "I have something
important to tell you, Balki. Bill is taking Jennifer to Chez Fino tonight
and he's going to ask her to marry him." The rest of the scene is the
- The reference to
Balki scratching the painting is not in this script, although distracting Larry
by looking at the view, mentioning the flocked wallpaper and the dessert cart
- After Larry tells
Balki he's going to kill him, he calls, "Waiter, bring me a steak
knife." "I'm way ahead of you, Cousin," Balki says,
"This is a seafood restaurant."
- The script
directions say Balki is to hang on to Larry's leg while they cross to the door.
- Instead of Balki
telling Larry he'll regret it the rest of his life if he doesn't tell that
nameless blonde woman how he feels about her, Balki warns, "If you don't,
you'll lose the most precious gift a heart can know." It isn't until
Balki carries Larry back into the restaurant that he says the line about Larry
regretting it the rest of his life. When he carries Larry to the table, he
says, "Hello, nameless blonde woman. You remember Cousin Larry."
- Balki hits Larry on
the back of the head a second time after Jennifer asks, "What are you
- After Bill tells
them he's just asked Jennifer to marry him, Larry turns to Balki and says,
"He moves fast." "Cousin, he drives a Porsche," Balki
- After Jennifer and
Larry kiss, Bill says, "I can't believe this. Why did you pick
him?" "Well Bill, on Mypos, we have a saying," Balki says,
then speaks Myposian, "It means every once in a while Prince Charming turns
out to be the short, curly-haired guy with no upper lip at all."
- After Larry thanks
Balki for helping him tell Jennifer how he feels, Balki says, "You're
welcome, Cousin. I couldn't be happier for you. I'm glad you finally
cut through that nineties babastiki."
- After Larry passes
out, Balki continues, "Every second of every minute of every hour of every
day for the rest of your life . . . "
on to the next episode . . .