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Larry and Balki's Egg-cellent
Cousin Aurora Lenore
. . . . Continued
"Balki, come out; I really need to
talk to you," Bianca said softly as she knocked on the guest bedroom
“No. I not come out. I too
upset,” came the muffled reply.
“Balki, Larry’s not here. He
felt terrible and said he needed to take a walk. It’s just you and
A few seconds later, Bianca heard the
door slowly click and a red-faced Balki emerge.
Bianca grabbed Balki’s hand and pulled
him over to the sofa. “Balki, I’m so sorry about what
happened. Really I am.”
“Did you know the truth, too?” Balki
asked, taking her by surprise.
“Did I know Larry didn’t want to
tell you about Mypos? Yes. Did I know the significance of Mypos?
No. If I had known you were Myposian, I would’ve tried to convince
Larry to talk to you. That’s not the point of this conversation,
though. There’s something else that’s been bothering me ever since
Larry left ten minutes ago. Something that I want to talk to you
“What is it?” Balki turned to her,
curious. “If you want me to forgive him, I don’t know if I can do
that. He betrayed me and he lied to me. Those Ky-Dels would have
chopped my head off and put it on a pu pu platter!”
Bianca shook her head. She
obviously wanted Balki to forgive his cousin, but she just couldn’t
concentrate on that when so many other questions loomed in her head. She
had seen just how dedicated Balki was when it concerned his home land.
He had a deep, unconditional love for his family and friends and she knew that
Balki would die if anyone tried to harm them. “No, that’s not what I
want to talk to you about. I know how much you love Mypos and your
family. But this is the future and I want to know how the Ky-Dels were
able to take over without you to put up a fight and save your family!
Larry was telling me that your devotion to your country and family came before
anything else and that you would fight to the death if anyone tried to destroy
that. So why were the Ky-Dels able to take over Mypos and re-name it
Atropos so easily five years ago? I read online and it said nothing
about a Balki Bartokomous trying to stop them or trying to fight them.
Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“I–I think so. Let me see: you
want to know why future me did not raise sugar cane to save my family and land
from being destroyed, right?”
Bianca smiled. “Yes! The
Balki I know and the Balki your cousin knows would never admit defeat
and would never stop fighting for his family’s freedom. So, I
can’t help but wonder: why did you?”
“You know, that is a good
question. Is too bad we don’t know me from the future. Then we
could ask him!”
Bianca beamed as she squeezed Balki’s
shoulder. “Then why don’t we find him? It shouldn’t be too
hard. You can find almost anyone on the internet!”
The two of them quickly ran over to the
computer that Larry ‘claimed’ to be broken and Balki watched as Bianca
quickly typed in his name in the box at the top.
Suddenly, the screen changed and Bianca
let out a gasp, covering her mouth in horror.
“Bianca, what is it? What do you
find? Can we talk to future me?” Balki asked hopefully.
“Balki, I–I’m so sorry. We
can’t talk to future you. We can’t even talk to you five years ago
to warn you about the Ky-Dels!”
“Well, why not? Did I fall off
Bianca shook her head, tears filling her
eyes. “It says here you and Larry died.”
Balki opened his mouth to form words but
only one word was able to squeak its way out. “When?”
“It says you both perished due to
carbon monoxide poisoning from your kitchen stove,” Bianca whispered.
“When?” Balki repeated.
“May 24th,” Bianca told
him, her tear-brimmed eyes staring up into his own. “May 24th,
1986. The day you saw me at the market. The day you saw my
“The day the egg brought us here,”
Balki finished, wiping his eyes.
As Balki said those last words,
Bianca’s mouth formed a small ‘o’. If the two of them were
supposed to have died that day, then why – or better yet how –
could they still be here unless…
Unless my machine saved your lives,
she thought, unsure if she should be happy or afraid that she had
single-handedly changed the course of history.
Larry walked through the front door
feeling rejuvenated yet still depressed from what happened earlier. He
needed to talk to Balki; he needed to make things right. He needed to–
“Cousin! You’re alive!”
Balki cried out joyfully, running to Larry and hugging him tightly. “I
was hoping you would be!”
“Of course I’m alive, Balki; I
just went for a walk. Look, Balki; I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I
lied about Mypos. I wanted to tell you, I just didn’t know how and I
panicked. Can you ever forgive me?”
Balki pulled away but still held onto his
arms. “Cousin, I forgive you. I am still upset that you did not
tell me the truth, but right now I am just so glad that we are both here now.”
Larry scratched his head. “Where
else would we be other than together right now?”
“Well, we gotta talk about that,”
Balki replied, looking away.
Now Larry was really confused. When
Larry had left, Balki never wanted to speak to him again and now Balki was
acting as if Larry had been missing for days with no explanation. Not only
that, but Bianca was nowhere in sight. Even R.O.B., who usually charged in
the corner of the living room was gone. Something was definitely up and it
was probably bad. Considering Balki wasn’t smiling, he knew it
had to be bad. “Balki, what’s going on?”
“Cousin, come; sit,” Balki led him to
the sofa. As soon as they were both seated, Balki rested his arm over the
back of the sofa’s headrest and faced him. “Cousin, while you were
away and I was madder than a wet herring, Bianca come to talk to me about why I
never tried to stop the Ky-Dels from taking over Mypos five years ago.”
“Yeah, I wondered that myself. So,
“Well, Bianca typed in my name on the
machine over there – the one you claim to be broken – and found that I could
not have stopped them because…”
“The Ky-Dels had too many men?
They threatened bodily harm to you and your family? They were holding
Dimitri hostage?” Larry guessed when Balki trailed off.
“Of course not; don’t be
ridiculous! The reason is – the reason why – the reasoning–”
“Balki, just tell me!” Larry
“You and I,” he said slowly, “were
Larry shook his head as if to clear his
mind. “It took you that long to say? You couldn’t fight the
Ky-Dels because we were gone? Boy, I thought you were going to tell me
something horrible!” he laughed nervously.
“Cousin, let me put it another way: you
and I were up there,” Balki said, pointing above.
“We were on the roof? Balki, what
are you trying to say?”
Balki suddenly grabbed Larry by his shirt
and pulled him close until their faces were inches apart. “I’ll say it
one more time: you…and I…were…gone!”
Suddenly, Balki’s words hit Larry like a
ton of bricks and his eyes opened wide. “We were dead! You
and I died? But how? Why? When?
Where? By whom?”
“Cardio exercise poisoning from the oven
in our apartment,” Balki answered, his voice breaking. “Oh Cousin; it
was terrible! If only we could have been there!”
Larry raised an eyebrow at Balki.
While his Myposian cousin rarely made sense, this was way over Larry’s
head. How did Balki know that they were dead? Was he somehow
psychic or just completely delusional?
“Larry, Balki is telling you the
truth,” Bianca’s voice said from behind, causing Larry to jump.
“But–but, I don’t understand!
We can’t die! I have so much to live for!”
“Cousin, don’t lose your head.
We have been dead for a long time now. We died when the egg came to our
apartment and bring us here.”
Larry shot up and paced the room
frantically. “So you mean we’re already dead? You mean to
tell me that we’re stuck in some sort of limbo? I–I didn’t
even get to tell Jennifer goodbye–”
Balki stood up and placed his hand on
Larry’s shoulder. “Cousin, you can do the limbo some other time.
You and I – we are not really dead – just dead in
“Bianca, help me!” Larry pleaded,
turning to her. “I can’t be dead!”
“According to the internet, you and
Balki died of carbon monoxide poisoning the day my machine arrived at your
apartment. But I can assure you that you nor Balki are dead now. My
machine must’ve took you away before you both started to get sick. So,
my time machine quite possibly saved your lives and changed the course of
history. I’m glad that it did, but I don’t understand the impeccable
timing! Another thing I don’t understand is why it came to your
apartment at all! I wanted to retrieve my magazine from the store after
I’d left it, but it disappeared without me and appeared at your place,
instead, saving your lives. How did all this happen?” Bianca asked.
“I believe I can be of some assistance
with that, Miss Bianca,” R.O.B.’s voice replied as he wheeled himself into
Balki looked from Bianca to Larry to R.O.B.
and then back again. He couldn’t help but to think back to when R.O.B.
was helping him try and retrieve Dimitri early that morning. R.O.B. had
asked if Balki had gotten Dimitri from Mypos – which he had – but what did
his robot friend say just before Bianca’s egg machine took off? It
“I cannot let you do that!” Balki
cried out as he remembered, causing both Bianca and Larry to stare at him in
“Why don’t you want R.O.B. to explain
himself, Balki?” Bianca asked.
“No, that not what I meant. You
see, when I tried to bring back Dimitri from the apartment, R.O.B. said he would
help me. I use the alphabet buttons to write Dimitri’s name on the
little green screen and R.O.B. tell me to write Mypos on the screen, too.
After I did, I tell R.O.B. that I cannot wait to go back to the apartment and
bring back Dimitri. Before I leave, I hear R.O.B. say something else, but
I not remember what it is until now! He says ‘I cannot let you do
that’!” Balki explained as if it were a pleasant yet normal memory.
“R.O.B., why would you not allow Balki
to go back to our apartment yet go to Mypos, instead?” Larry asked sharply.
Bianca glared at Larry. “Larry,
I’ll ask the questions. R.O.B., why would you not allow Balki to go back
to their apartment yet go to Mypos, instead?”
“Because it was not safe. The
owner of their apartment – Mr. Donald Twinkicetti – had not yet been
notified of the carbon monoxide and had not fixed the problem. I could not
allow Mr. Balki to go back to the apartment at the given time he wished,” the
tinny voice responded.
“Well, I’ll be snookered,” Balki
snorted. “He knew I would be deader than a doorknob if I went back to
the apartment. What a smart little robot you are!”
“I also deceived you as well, Ms. Bianca.
When you entered into the machine that you wished to retrieve your magazine, I
knew the machine would take you to the apartment because Mr. Balki had the
magazine you wished for. I caused your telephone to ring so that you would
be distracted. If you had traveled back to nineteen-eighty-six and into
their apartment, you would not have taken Mr. Balki and Cousin Larry with you
and they would have perished. I am sorry for deceiving you, but you
programmed me this way. Rule number sixty-four: if ever you know of harm
coming to humans, do what you must to save them at all times.”
Balki watched as Bianca’s eyes welled up
with tears. “He’s right. I did program him to do what he could
to save anyone from harm. He was doing exactly what he should. But
why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“Rule number forty-seven: do not
brag,” R.O.B. stated.
Balki smiled down at R.O.B. “Thank you
for saving us from death’s floor.”
“I just can’t believe my own
technology tricked me,” Bianca laughed.
“It’s kind of treacherous when
technology and teleporting time machines teach themselves tricks of the
trade,” Larry grinned.
“Is it true that the time machine can
now totally teleport them without any tricks being traded between my
technology?” Bianca asked R.O.B.
“Truthfully, in less than two hours, the
time machine can totally teleport them to their apartment without tricks or
treachery taught, told or traded,” R.O.B. answered.
Balki placed one arm around his cousin and
the other around Bianca. “Terrific.”
“So, you’re sure it’s safe for them
to go back to the apartment now?” Bianca asked her too-smart-for-his-own-good
“It is perfectly safe. There is no
longer a threat of carbon monoxide inside the apartment,” R.O.B. confirmed.
Bianca smiled at Larry, feeling
bittersweet about them leaving. She knew that they desperately needed to
go back to nineteen-eighty-six, but she had to admit it was wonderful to have
them there. It had been so much fun and made her realize she had been
spending way too much time alone and working on her projects. It was time
she went out and spent time with people – not just switches and dials and
metal. She could only hope to someday meet two people half as wonderful as
Larry and Balki.
“Well, I guess we should be going back
then,” Larry said, looking down and rocking back and forth on his feet.
“Come on, Balki.”
“Not yet,” Balki replied. For a
few seconds, the four of them stood awkwardly inside Bianca’s garage.
Then, to Bianca’s surprise, Balki leaned forward and gave Bianca a warm
embrace. “I’m gonna miss you,” he cried.
“I’m gonna miss you, too,” she
repeated, choking back tears of her own. “You take care of each other,
“Uh, guys, if you’ll excuse me for a
minute,” Larry abruptly stated before quickly walking away.
Bianca watched him go, shrugging before
turning back to Balki. “Remember that you nor Larry can tell anyone
about me or my time machine. They probably wouldn’t believe you anyway,
but just to be safe, you cannot say a word.”
“My lips are concealed. Just
promise me that you will come and visit us again. I–I don’t want to
never see you again.”
“I promise. I’ll never forget
you. As long as I live, I will never forget you or Larry.”
And Bianca had never meant anything more
in her entire life.
“Cousin? Did you drown in
there?” Balki knocked on the bathroom door. “I don’t think the
toilet will suck you in, but to be safe, when you flush, I suggest you step
“I’m not in the bathroom, Balki; I’m
in the guest room,” Larry hissed from the door to the right.
“Cousin, why are you in here? I
thought you were ready to go home. Did you forget something?”
Larry looked down at his hands as he sat
on the edge of the bed. “I am ready – I mean, I thought
I was – Balki, I’m just not good at saying goodbye. I can’t wait to
go home and see Jennifer again, but I also feel sad that we’re having to say
so long to Bianca.”
Balki sat down on the bed besides Larry
and put his arm around him. “Cousin, it’s okay to be sad. In
Mypos, we have a saying: ‘Li-po-po dy nickee, ba-ba apropa ky-stickee nuna
copa‘. It means ‘saying goodbye does not mean the end, but the
beginning of a promise to always love them. Even though we are saying
goodbye to Bianca, it doesn’t mean we will forget her or she will forget
us. It means we love her and will think of her often.”
Larry looked up and bit his
fingernails. “I’m really gonna miss her, Balki, I’m really gonna
miss this house. I’m even gonna miss the self-flushing toilet,” he
Balki leaned over and hugged him.
“I know. I already said goodbye to it. The water turned blue,”
Larry raised his eyebrow in question, but
Finally, Balki pulled away.
“Cousin, are you ready to go home?”
Larry nodded and smiled as he allowed
Balki to lead him back into the garage. “I’m ready.”
“Okay,” Bianca clasped her hands
together. “All you have to do is step inside and press that button.”
“Goodbye, R.O.B.; goodbye, Bianca,”
Balki waved at them both before entering the egg.
“Goodbye, Larry,” Bianca whispered,
giving him a warm hug and a soft peck on the cheek.
Larry blushed as he, too, stepped into the
egg. “Goodbye, Bianca. Thank you for everything.” He then
turned to Balki. “Balki, would you like to press the button?”
“Well, of course I would; don’t be
ridiculous…which button was it again?”
“The red button that says
‘Power’,” Larry reminded, the smile never leaving his face.
“Oh, I knew that,” Balki stated before
he gently pressed the button.
The last thing Larry saw was Bianca and
R.O.B. waving them off before the jolt of the machine sent both he and Balki
crashing to the floor.
Balki and Larry had just exited the time
machine when they heard a frantic knock at the door. Balki still
couldn’t believe that the apartment still looked exactly the same as it did
when they had left. Not that he assumed anything had really changed, but
he was still awed nonetheless.
“What are we going to do? The
machine is still here!” Larry hissed, his normal neurotic self
Suddenly, the egg shimmered and
disappeared into thin air and Balki was amazed. “Wwoww,” he breathed
before Larry opened the door to their apartment.
“Oh, Larry – Balki – you’re both
alright!” Jennifer’s panicked voice cried as both she and Mary Anne ran into
the apartment, hugging them both.
“We were so worried! We came over
a couple of days ago, but you weren’t home. Then we tried to come back,
but you weren’t home then either,” Mary Anne explained.
“We sorry to worry you but we had to
leave to see a friend,” Balki said, glancing over at Larry. Balki knew
he couldn’t lie to the girls, but he also knew of his promise not to tell them
about the machine. It was a fine line, but as long as Balki didn’t have
to lie, he was okay.
“Well, we’re glad you did.
Larry, we came to your apartment yesterday and we could smell gas coming from
inside!” Jennifer continued. “Mr. Twinkicetti had to come into your
apartment and stop the gas leak.”
“Wow. Did you hear that Balki?
If we had been here, we might not have made it out alive!” Larry
gasped, obviously over-acting.
“Good thing I told you to see our
friend, hoh?” Balki asked.
“We’re just glad you’re okay!”
Jennifer hugged Larry.
“Yeah, what she said,” Mary-Anne
leaned forward to give Balki a sweet kiss.
“Well, we’d better go. Come on,
Mary-Anne. We’ve got an early flight in the morning,” Jennifer said,
hurrying to the door.
“Okay. Bye, Balki. I‘m
really glad you‘re not dead,” she said, waving goodbye before they closed
the door behind them.
“Goodbye,” Balki replied.
“Well, how do you like that,” Larry
said smugly as they both plopped down on the sofa.
“Well,” Balki began slowly.
“It’s a four-letter word with the word ‘hat’ in it, so I like it
“No, Balki; I meant how do you like the
way the girls were worried about us?”
“I don’t like that the girls were
worried, but I am glad Mr. Twinkicetti fixed the problem and I’m really glad
we’re not dead.”
Balki shifted in his seat and suddenly
heard something crinkle like paper. Leaning forward, he reached in his
back right pants pocket and pulled out a note.
“What’s that?” Larry asked, leaning
“It says, ‘I O U one robot and U O me
one trip to Mypos. Love, Bianca’.”
Instinctively, Larry reached inside his
pants and pulled out a note of his own.
“What that?” Balki asked.
“I got a note, too. Mine says,
‘I O U one plain coffee and U O me one dance. Love, Bianca’.”
“Well, that was nice. And to think
you didn’t want to get in the egg,” Balki reminded him.
“Yeah, I’ll admit; I was
skeptical. Once again, Larry Appleton was afraid to take a risk.
I’m really glad I did, though.”
“Because if you didn’t, you would have
been one dead duck-billed platypus.”
Larry smiled thinly. “Well,
there’s that, but also, I wouldn’t have had the pleasure of meeting a
wonderful person like Bianca, seeing the future, and having a really good
“It is good to be home, though. It
will be nice to sleep in my own bed with my blanket, Dimitri and the smell of
goat hair to keep me warm and safe,” Balki sighed.
Larry looked to Balki at the last part of
his sentence before shrugging. “You know? I just thought of
something we forgot to show Bianca; something that can be fun both in the past,
present and future!”
“Jeopardy?” Balki guessed.
“No,” Larry said before tapping
“What?” Balki asked before smiling as
his cousin lowered his face, gave an evil grin and said the magic words:
“Boochi, boochi, boochi!”
“You know,” Balki began, not moving an
inch. “There will be plenty of time to talk of the past and future, but
you know what is most important right now?”
“What’s that?” Larry asked.
“Beating your be-honkus at Boochi
Tag,” he replied, touching Larry’s shoulder. “You’re ‘it’.”
“Wait, you tricked me!” Larry cried.
“All is fair in present-day Boochi Tag
and war,” Balki grinned wickedly. “Boochi, boochi, boochi!”
“Yes. Just keep playing your silly
little game,” the man said slowly before letting a small laugh escape his
throat. “Before long, you and your little time-hopping friend will meet
again. Only next time, things won’t be so perfect. Your lives will
be anything but perfect.”
A small grey and white cat purred happily
as it rubbed its body against the man’s leg.
“That’s right, Cupydon,” he murmured
to the cat. “Very soon, we’ll be standing tall on the wings of our
dreams. Nothing’s gonna stop us now!” he laughed manically.